If You Should Let Ghosts Die
by Leah C. Drawn
Summary: "Is the big triangle you and the small one your son?" Bella asked, pointing at Edward's tattoo; surprised she'd caught it, he nodded. "I like it, but it's missing something, don't you think?" Edward cocked his head to the side. "Missing something?" "A little color. For my taste, at least. Just like you," Bella smiled kindly. "You could do with a little color in your life." B/E AH
1. The Housewarming

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Also, this story is planned to be about 10 chapters or so.**

* * *

"Silent night, holy night. All is—"

"Isabella Swan would you shut up for once in your life!" Alice Brandon snapped at her best friend, turning back to the computer screen. "It's also July, you monster," Alice mumbled out, scrolling down the FaceBook page desperately.

Bella sighed.

"Al, I told you, Jasper doesn't have a girlfriend already. Why don't you just… ask him yourself?"

Alice unglued her eyes from the screen to shoot a horrified glare at Bella.

"You mean, why don't I just _kill myself_?" Alice huffed dramatically. "No, Swan, that's not how things work in the twenty-first century. Get on with the times, you old hag."

Bella was twenty-one.

Gently, Bella put down the laptop's screen, turning Alice's chair so she could face her. She was sitting at the edge of Alice's bed, and to be honest she was tired of talking to the back of the girl's head.

"Alice, first of all, you're seventeen. Meaning—" Bella flicked Alice's forehead, to which the younger girl protested heavily. "That I'm not _old_ , you brat. And second of all, don't joke about killing yourself. I've already told you how I feel about that joke. And third, Jasper likes you. I've never seen a guy as moonstruck as him, so why don't you just ask him out? It _is_ the twenty-first century, you know."

Bella smirked for good measure, and this time _she_ got flicked.

"Nope. Progress is only good so long as one benefits from it," Alice huffed stubbornly, crossing her arms over her chest. Bella sighed.

"Al, you've got to do _something_ , or else nothing will ever change. Don't you want Jasper? Are you really gonna wait for him to come around? Much as he likes you, the boy is as painfully awkward as they come."

Alice smiled fondly.

"That _is_ true." Alice sighed dreamily, then shook herself out of it. "Fine, fine. I'll… invite him to this Saturday's party."

Bella laughed. Alice was all about small steps when it came to her love life.

"Will you come? I'd like the moral support, and you know all my friends love you."

Bella patted Alice's knee fondly, knowing the invite was sincere. She loved going to parties, but this Saturday…

"Can't. I've got my editor's housewarming party, remember? I'll be beat, supposing I could even make it." She loved socializing, but it also tired her out a lot. She always needed to recover.

Alice pouted.

"Right. But still—"

A knock interrupted them.

"Alice, honey? You should say goodbye to Bella," Mrs. Brandon poked her head in, smiling warmly at both girls. "You've got your violin lesson in less than ten minutes."

Alice groaned.

"But, _mom_ —!"

"No buts young lady, you know what the deal was. Later nights out on Saturday in exchange for violin lessons." Mrs. Brandon chided gently, turning to look at Bella. "It was really nice seeing you, sweetheart. Come over again any time you want."

Then the door closed, and the two girls sighed.

"I really _do_ like your mother," Bella admitted, standing up. "I'm so glad they found you."

Alice gave her a small, sad smile.

"I wish someone had found you, too, but I wonder if we would've met then."

The girls hugged.

Fake crying, Bella and Alice said goodbye to each other about a hundred times before the older girl finally left.

* * *

"Have a good day, Ms. Swan," Mr. Porter, the kind doorman, bid adieu to Bella as he watched her leave at half past midday that Saturday. Bella smiled back at him brightly, taking out a bag of cookies from behind her back and handing them to him.

"Thank you, Jack. These are for you, but if Mrs. Porter asks, you didn't get them from me," Bella winked, making the older gentleman rumble out a laugh and nod seriously.

"Believe you me, she will never know these existed," he said, already opening the plastic bag and pulling out a cookie. He groaned in delight. "You're no good for my diabetes, Ms. Swan."

She giggled.

"Oh, enjoy them. These are bi-monthly anyway, right? You've earned them. Good job on the weight-loss, really." Bella praised sincerely, thanking him as he pushed the front door of her apartment building open. "Thanks, Jack. Have a nice day!"

Humming to herself, Bella all but skipped as she swung the gift bag filled with cookies back and forth as she walked down the sidewalk. The sun was bright, the wind was strong enough to wash away the heat and the bus —as she found out when she hopped on— was mostly empty on the hot summer day. Bella looked out the window the whole time; she counted the amount of green cars that sped past them, the amount of beauty salons that littered the streets, the amount of times she saw a cloud that looked surprisingly phallic. The second time she found one such cloud she also finally saw herself on the reflection and, horrified, saw that every hair was out of place thanks to the wind. Quickly, she pulled out her phone to act as mirror and accommodated every strand of lose brown hair. She admired her reflection briefly; she'd managed to grow her hair all the way to the middle of her back, and instead of pulling it into the usual braid she'd let her waves be free for a day. She wore mascara and lipgloss for makeup, knowing any more would be melted off by the heat. If Bella had to say so herself, she looked nice, if not a bit too young; with her tank top, skirt and Converse she could've passed for Alice's age easily enough. She pressed her lips together; sometimes, she looked too young, but most of the time, she felt too old. Life had been too long already, and now she cherished every day that passed much too quickly for her taste.

She put down her phone, looking out at the passing scenery again.

"It's very beautiful, isn't it? The sky," she heard a voice, and turning, Bella realized that an older woman had sat down next to her. She had purple highlights amidst her gray hair, and the smile she received was so kind she immediately smiled back.

"It is," Bella agreed. "It's so blue and the clouds so white and fluffy, right?"

The woman laughed softly.

"You remind me of my grandson. He's always looking up instead of the ground, so he usually ends up tripping over nothing."

Bella perked up.

"Hey, that's me!" She pointed at herself, showing her the new band aids covering her knees. "I'm a walking hazard."

The older woman smiled fondly, then leaned over Bella a bit and pointed at a cloud.

"Hey, that one looks like a penis!"

Bella and the old lady laughed the rest of the bus ride.

* * *

 _Ding-dong!_

"Coming!" Bella heard the voice of her editor call out from inside the brownstone and the clattering of feet before the door all but got ripped open.

"Hey!" Bella greeted happily as she was pulled into a tight hug by the beautiful blonde. "Thanks for inviting me."

"Thank _you_ for coming," Rosalie squeezed her friend a little tighter before releasing her and pulling back. She scanned her from head to toe before giving a nod of approval. "I dig the outfit. New fall?" She asked, motioning to the bandaids.

Bella shrugged sheepishly.

"I wasn't looking where I was walking."

Rose rolled her eyes good-naturedly, knowing she should've expected this by now. Her friend always had her head in the clouds.

"Tell me something new," Rose said, pulling Bella in and shutting the door behind her. "Everyone's already here. Did you have a hard time finding the new place?"

Bella shook her head, thrusting the bag of cookies at her friend as they made their way to the kitchen to put them away.

"Nah, but I came by bus. It took a little longer than I'd calculated originally," Bella said, looking around at the new home. Portraits, pretty furniture and an elegant decoration made up the inside. "The new house is lovely, Rose. I'm so happy for you and Emmett."

Rose grinned, looking around at the place.

"It's my pride and joy. Emmett's only eating lettuce until we can pay back the mortgage though," Rose joked, and as if she'd invoked her husband, a hulking bear of a man came running into the kitchen at full speed.

He tackled Bella at the same time that he swept her up into a hug.

"B-Bells in the _house_! We can get this party started now!" He cheered, swinging her around once before putting down a dizzy girl. "You took your own sweet time getting here young lady," he fake huffed in annoyance.

Bella giggled as she tried regaining her balance.

"The day was too nice to have to look straight ahead at traffic," Bella admitted, pointing then at the bag on the counter. "I made you and Rose cookies. I'd tell you to share them with the rest but I know that'd be futile."

Emmett gave her a bone crushing hug.

"I swear if I wasn't married or totally in love with Rosie I'd marry you Swan," Emmett joked, letting go of the 5 foot 2 girl when he saw she wasn't getting enough air. "But she _is_ my wife and I _am_ totally into her, so you can be my concubine, alright?"

Blushing, Rose hit him on the back of the head. Bella just laughed it off.

"Oh Emmett, I can't think of an alternative universe where you're not with Rose," Bella smiled at them. "If you'll excuse me though, I _really_ need to go to the bathroom."

Then Bella left them, instinctively knowing where to go (Bella was a shit singer but a terrific bathroom finder).

Emmett kissed the top of Rose's head.

"She's such a joy to be around, isn't she?" Emmett asked rhetorically, knowing already what his wife's answer would be.

She bit down on her bottom lip.

"Bella deserves the world, Em. It is honestly beyond me how anyone would pass up the opportunity to adopt her," Rose said sadly. "She's told me a bit of her time in the system, and it's such a cruel thing to put a child through. I _hate_ that she went through that."

Emmett sighed.

"She's a sweetheart. I'm thankful though that she caught a break when she met _you_ , babe," Emmett praised his wife sincerely, referring of how Rose had been the one to find a fledgling author and make her into an international best-seller.

"I hope I helped," Rose muttered, and then the couple went to the backyard to mingle with their guests.

-.-

"Oh, the water was too cold," Bella was muttering to herself as she dried her hands on her skirt while coming out of the bathroom. She kept muttering nonsense to herself as she walked towards the backyard, but stopped when she noticed a lone boy on the living room's couch. Curious, she approached.

Bright red hair that seemed incapable of being tamed, pale white skin littered with freckles and a lanky frame sat hunched over a phone, but from the movement of it it seemed like the boy was playing a video-game. She sat smack down next to him.

"Hi! What are you playing?" Bella chirped happily, leaning in a bit to try and see what it was. It seemed to be a car racing game.

"A game," the boy sassed back, not even turning to look at her.

"Cool. I love games. Can I play?" Bella tried catching the boy's eye, but he was still evading her.

"You probably don't even know how," he grumbled, his tone clearly dismissive. But Bella blew it off, undeterred by a little attitude.

"That's alright. You can teach me, right? Pretty please?" Bella leaned in a bit closer and lowered her volume. "Truth is, I don't know practically anyone here and I could use a friend. So would you mind being friends with me?"

Finally, the boy turned his head a fraction to look her in the eye. His eyes were a darker brown than hers and, to her great surprise, seemed to hold much anger.

"Did my dad send you?"

Bella frowned.

"Your dad? I'm sorry, but I don't know who you mean," Bella replied honestly. "I just thought that since you looked lonely, and since I'm also by myself, that we could hang out."

The boy's scowl deepened.

"I'm not lonely."

Bella's eyebrows flew up.

"Really? I could've sworn. I mean, you're at a super fun party and you're in here all by your lonesome," Bella smiled kindly, sitting up from the couch. "What's your name, lone ranger?"

The boy pouted.

"Alexander. And you?"

"I'm Bella. Nice to meet you, Alex." Bella put out her right elbow. "Mind coming with me outside? The day's too beautiful to spend it cooped up inside, don't you think?"

Alex frowned again.

"Are you sure my dad didn't send you?"

As annoying as the woman in front of him was, Alex had to recognize how nice her laugh was. It was kind of tinkling and seemed to come from deep within her. So he stood up and put his arm through her elbow, linking their arms together.

"I swear to you, Alex, I've got no idea who your dad is. You'll have to introduce us."

Together they walked out to the yard, which buzzed with activity, laughter and a copious amount of food and drink.

"Bella! Did you kidnap a child?" Jessica Stanley jokingly gasped, hugging the shit out of Bella and ruffling Alex's hair. Jessica was one of Rose's co-workers, so whenever Bella visited Rose's office they'd bump into each other. "He's cute, though. You should keep him."

Alex frowned.

"He's not mine to keep though, Jess." Bella laughed, turning to look down at the boy. "Alex, this is Jessica, another friend of mine. She might _seem_ to put her foot her in mouth a lot, and it's also true."

Bella and Jessica exchanged a few more words before Bella dragged the boy away to the back of the yard, where Rose and Emmett were mingling with a tall, russet-colored man.

"Bella, what…" Rose trailed off, looking at the kid hanging off of Bella's arm.

The girl smiled widely.

"Rose, this is my new friend, Alex. Sorry Emmett, you can no longer be my second favorite friend."

Alex laughed, and Bella turned to smile down at him.

"Uh, Bella…" Rose stopped, not knowing how to continue. Instead she gave a small smile to the kid. "Hey Alex."

Alexander just nodded in acknowledgement.

Bella deepened her voice.

"'Hey Rose, your new house is super cool,'" Bella imitated Alex's voice, hip-checking him. "I think so too, Alex. The backyard's huge and the grill looks so neat," Bella said in her normal voice, chuckling when Alex blushed a bit.

"Thank you for having us over," Alex mumbled, shocking Rose and Emmett. Bella, however, didn't notice.

"And who might this be?" She motioned towards the russet-colored man who rivaled Emmett in the muscle department. He was just standing there nursing a beer and calmly hearing the back and forth between the young girl and the boy.

Rose was the one to answer.

"Oh, right! This is Jacob Black, Emmett's new hire at the gym. Jake, this is Bella Swan, one of my clients and dear friend." Rose motioned between them. "Meet."

Jake and Bella laughed.

"Nice to meet you, Bella," Jake said, extending a hand.

"You too," Bella smiled widely before turning to the rest. "Now, if you'll excuse us, Alex and I are gonna go play with that super cool mini-soccer table over there."

Again, without a care as to who was watching, Bella dragged Alex to the promised land, where they spent about half an hour (with Bella winning every time) before they were discovered by a new figure.

"Alex? Alex! Where are you?" A mess of red hair emerged from the other side of the backyard to where they were, and suddenly a man that could only be a sex god appeared in front of Bella.

Tall (like, 6 foot 3 kind of tall), green-eyes, chiseled jaw with a short haired full beard, low jeans and an _Astrid and Obelix_ t-shirt made up the god, who upon laying eyes on Alex deflated and slowed down the frantic pace at which he'd been moving.

"My God, Alex, I thought you'd gotten swallowed up by the phone or something," a silky smooth voice said, which pretty much sealed the deal for Bella. She could officially die happy now after having seen the definition of perfection.

"Hi! Are you Alexander's dad?" Bella asked when the beautiful man laid eyes on her. He slowed down to a stop his determinate pursuit, coming to stand next to her. "I'm Bella Swan, your son's new friend."

The man shot wide eyes at his son, who refused to make eye contact. Stubbornly, the boy was looking down at the soccer table. The man swung his eyes back to the brunette, who looked like she could be anywhere between seventeen and his age. Her attire and face was young, but something about her eyes told him she wasn't a teenager anymore.

"Yes, I'm Edward Cullen, his dad. Did you just say…?"

Alex sighed in relief, his little shoulders slumping in relief.

"So my dad _really_ didn't send you, Bella. That's good." Alex said, coming around the table and hugging Bella tightly around the waist. Surprised, she put a hand on top of his messy hair (which she now saw where it had come from). "Friends?"

Bella hugged him back, feeling her heart melt.

"Obviously," she said, then let him go when she felt Edward's intense stare on her. She bent down slightly to be on eye level with Alex. "Now, I'm not supposed to do this, but if you go to the kitchen you'll find a bag of cookies that you can dig into. Don't finish them though because they belong to Emmett and I'm dead meat if he realizes I gave some of them away. What says you?" Bella smiled, and her answer was looking at a trail of dust as Alex ran off to eat.

Bella turned to the sex god with a sheepish smile.

"Sorry. I don't know if I wasn't supposed to do that." Bella admitted, a bit unnerved by the man's intense glare. Well, glare or stare, she didn't know by this point which was the difference. She tucked a lose strand of hair behind her ear, suddenly nervous. "Did I do something I shouldn't have?"

Edward suddenly shook his head as if breaking out of a stupor.

"No, you didn't, I'm sorry. It's just Alex…" Edward trailed off, looking after his son thoughtfully. "He's not really a sociable kid. Fuckin' rebellious, that one." At Bella's eyebrow raise, Edward seemed to blush a little. "Sorry. I curse a lot."

Bella laughed it off.

This woman had a big, pearly white smile, Edward noticed. It fit her.

"That's fine. I imagine I'd curse too if I had a kid," Bella winked good-naturedly, making Edward shrug in defeat. "But he's really not that bad. All it took was a bit of pushing and that was it. He's quite sweet, truly."

Edward sighed, running a hand through his hair. Bella didn't think he knew this, but the move made his hair stand even more on end.

"Tell _that_ to the little pricks that are his classmates," Edward mumbled, and though Bella wanted to ask about that, she didn't feel like she should. He trained his gorgeous green eyes on Bella. "So, who are you here for?"

Bella pointed at the lovely couple chatting up what was probably Emmett's grandparents. The older gentleman had Emmett's dimples, after all.

"Rose. She's my editor, so I couldn't possibly miss this, right?" Bella grinned, feeling a warm heart at seeing the older pair. She focused back on the beautiful man in front of her. "And you?"

"Emmett. We've known each other since freshman year of high school; we used to be in the soccer team together." Edward said, and she could hear the fondness in his voice for the bear of a man. "So, you're a writer? What about?"

Bella shuffled on her feet to find a more comfortable standing position. Edward seemed to notice, because he suggested that they sit on the available plastic chairs. They were the type that you always felt should cave in at your weight but only rarely, if ever, did. She hadn't noticed them before, having been so consumed in the game with Alexander. Once they'd sat, Bella answered.

"I write about a lot of things, but I mostly focus on thrillers and mysteries. I like doing comedy for short stories, and I've whipped up a political article or two for some newspapers. So, a bunch of things." Bella answered, and Edward wondered if she really didn't write any romance. Women seemed to like reading and writing it, in his experience. Maybe it was just a prejudice he'd acquired from seeing his sister's bookshelf, though, which was littered in either erotica or just your typical cheesy novel. "What about you?"

Edward tried not to, but he couldn't help but flinch a little. Whenever he said what he did, people seemed to have a moment where they didn't know how to react. It was an honorable occupation, and he was proud of bringing food to the table and a roof over his son's head, but people's minds were almost always set on the fact that success equaled a white collar job.

"I'm a mechanic." Edward said, wondering what the weird little woman would say; true to first impression, she did the unpredictable. Her eyes lit up in excitement.

"Oh, that's so great! I've been searching for one to fix my car, but I didn't know who to ask for references. Do you have a business card or something I could have to set up an appointment?"

Edward barked out a laugh.

"You don't even know if I'm any good, and already you're gonna leave me your car?"

Bella pressed her lips together, cocked her head to the side and shrugged.

"You're Emmett's friend. Do I need any other reference?" Suddenly, Bella's confused face morphed into a teasing smile. "We both know Emmett can't stand dumb people."

The two laughed at the inner joke, one tinkling and the other gruff. It seemed to Bella that the man next to her wasn't all that used to laughing anymore, if the permanent wrinkle between his eyebrows was of any indication.

After a few moments of comfortable silence, Edward reached into his back pocket to pull out his wallet; he took out a card and handed it to Bella. It read CULLEN'S and below it was Edward's name and phone numbers.

Bella giggled.

"I wonder if you own your own shop?" Bella pondered sarcastically, and at Edward's unchanging face, burst out cackling. "Oh my God your _face_!"

"Bells, you trying to charm my man over here?" Emmett suddenly asked, and looking up, Bella saw that Emmett and Rose had arrived to where they were hand in hand. "Because I'm warning you, I think you could do a little better."

Edward rolled his eyes, and though he tried not to look it, Bella could tell Edward didn't find the joke all that funny. So she huffed and crossed her arms over her chest, trying to look imposing in front of the bear of a man.

"I happen to think you're lying," Bella said half seriously, half teasingly. "I find it hard to believe _the_ Emmett McCarty associates with anything but the best of the best."

Emmett would've pushed on, but Rose butted in to speak to Edward, her original goal in approaching them.

"Edward, you won't believe this." Rose began, and to listen to her better both Edward and Bella stood up from their chairs. "Bella brought Alex over from the living room. He _thanked_ me for having you over."

Both eyebrows raised in surprise. The handsome man cast a look at Bella, who was making a perplexed face.

"I'm sorry, am I missing something? I feel like I shouldn't have even glanced in Alexander's direction or something." Bella worried, but everyone was quick to put her at ease.

"Nah, it's just that Alex has been on a silent strike. Anyone his dad likes he doesn't talk to." Emmett explained, but it only confused Bella further.

"How long has this gone on?"

Rose shrugged.

"A year, give or take. Edward says it's the silent protest for not going to the school he wants to be in."

Edward had gone very still at this part of the conversation, and Bella, ever so observant, changed the subject.

"Well, on another note, it's possible Alex might've finished your cookies," Bella said apologetically to her friend's husband, and the horrified face Emmett pulled made her want to laugh, but she held it in.

"Hold me back Rosie or I'll be cooking us a ten-year-old redhead for dinner," Emmett growled, grabbing Rose's hand and pulling her to the kitchen in a very resolute march. They disappeared, and once again Bella and Edward were left alone.

"Thank you for that," Edward said quietly as they took a seat again. "Rose and Em mean well, but they divulge too much."

Bella waved it off with a smile.

 _Was she ever not smiling?_

"If you're worried I'll tell, don't. But if you're just worried about the fact that I know a bit about the two of you, then I don't know how to make you feel better." Bella said honestly, guessing what it was that bothered him about the interaction. "Alexander's a sweet kid."

Edward, in a moment of strange vulnerability, opened up.

"He is, but… He's just been so fucking _angry_ ever since my ex-wife left us. He gets in trouble at school, won't talk at home or to anyone I'm friends with, thinks he's incapable of making friends if it's not through me for some strange reason…" Edward pinched the bridge of his nose, needing a moment to compose himself. For once, Bella wasn't smiling, and this comforted Edward that the young girl wasn't just an air head. Perhaps she truly _was_ just a happy person? It seemed like such an odd concept to Edward; for more than three years now he'd had no reasons to smile but his son, and Alex would hardly look at him.

Bella leaned forward, putting her elbow on her knee and resting her chin on her hand. She had a pensive expression on, looking at Edward through squinted eyes.

"What approaches have you tried?"

Edward raised an eyebrow.

"Approaches?"

"Yeah, like, what strategies and such. Like a firm hand, or talking to him, or letting him run amok and so. What have you tried?"

Edward thought about the question.

"Uh, bunch o' stuff. Mostly I've left him alone though, because punishments or time outs don't really work."

Bella hummed.

"Well, in my experience, angry kids are just lonely. You give them company and the anger subsides; I'm not really partial to time outs because it's like saying to kids 'Your punishment is to spend time by yourself', although I'm not really a parent, so that's just what I think." It's what she'd felt as a child when she'd gotten time outs. "I'm sorry your wife left you, though. It must be hard for the two of you."

Edward sighed.

"Well, it's mostly good she left. Lauren was… well, not really a devoted mother. At least she signed over the rights to Alex, so if she tries coming back I'll fuckin' chase her out." Edward grumbled, running his hand down his face. Bella saw he had a cool tattoo on his right forearm; it wrapped around it and was like five inches long. It consisted of lines of different thickness, and in the middle was a lined triangle with a smaller black triangle inside. Bella really liked it, but she also felt it was a bit sad.

"Is the big triangle you and the small one Alex?" Bella asked, pointing at the tattoo. Surprised she'd caught it, Edward nodded. "I like it, but it's missing something, don't you think?"

Edward cocked his head to the side.

"Missing something?"

"A little color. For my taste, at least. Just like you," Bella smiled kindly. "You could do with a little color in your life."

Edward would've answered, but Bella's phone started ringing. With an apologetic look, Bella answered it.

"Hello?"

 _"Hey Bells."_

"Hey you. Almost here?"

 _"Ah, no, I don't think I'll be able to make it. Sorry babe."_

Edward didn't know who it was, but he could see Bella was deflated by the news.

"Oh, that's fine. We both knew it was a long shot anyway with how busy you are. See you tomorrow?" Bella asked, and even she could hear the unfiltered hope in her voice.

 _"Of course. See ya."_

"Bye." Mike hung up, and with a deep sigh, Bella sat back down. Edward was looking at her with raised eyebrows. "Sorry about that. My boyfriend was meant to come today, but he's busy. He's a doctor," Bella explained, as always so proud of Mike. They'd met a year ago on a blind date —Rose had meant to set him up with Jessica, but she'd caught the flu. To not cancel on Mike she'd asked Bella to go instead, and the rest had been history. He was often busy though, so the amount of times they could meet was limited.

"Oh. That's good," Edward said, suddenly all too conscious of how greasy his tennis were. He'd come straight from checking on the shop, after all, and hadn't had time to change shoes. He didn't suppose a doctor would've had that problem. "You must be so proud of him."

Bella giggled, her previous mood done and over with.

"You make me sound like his mother. But I _am_ proud; he's told me of how hard it was to get to where he is. He's on his last year of med school, so he's going a bit crazy studying for exams." Bella saw she had a message from Alice; it was asking her to please come pick her up from her location because she _needed_ to leave the party _now_. She stood up. "Oh shoot, I'm sorry Edward. I gotta make a call."

"Is everything alright?"

Bella bit down on her lip.

"I don't know yet. Give me a sec."

Quickly, Bella called Alice, and the younger girl answered on the second ring.

 _"H-Hello?"_

"Alice? Is everything ok? What happened?"

 _"J-Just get me out of here, Iz. Please."_ Bella frowned; Alice only called her that way when she was upset. And if the tearful voice was of any indication, Alice was _very_ upset.

"I get it, Al. I'll catch a cab and be with you as soon as I can, alright? Wait for me _inside_ the house, you hear?" Bella said sternly, not wanting the pixie anywhere outside. "I'll see you soon." Bella hung up, looking up at Edward with a pinched face. "I'm sorry Edward, please say goodbye to Rose, Emmett and Alex for me. I gotta to dash."

"I'll drive you," Edward said, also standing up. Bella immediately started shaking her head no.

"Oh, I can't trouble you that way. Thank you for offering, though."

Edward rolled his eyes and grabbed Bella by the wrist (it was small, just like her), pulling her out of the backyard.

"You're obviously worried about your friend. Come on, Alex and I'll take you. I might not have a sports car, but I'll be quicker than a taxi."

Bella smiled at his back despite her worry. Edward could almost feel it.

"Thank you, Edward. You're very kind." Bella said, practically jogging behind him to keep up with his pace. His legs were too long for her to comfortably keep up.

They found Alex in the kitchen in a stare-off with Emmett. Rose was taking pictures of her mammoth of a husband trying to intimidate a kid.

"Come on Alex, we're going now." Edward said, and his voice left no room for argument. Alex hurried to join his father and his strange new friend, who looked a bit agitated.

"Bella, what's—" Rose began, looking at her friend's worried face and Edward's grip on her wrist.

"Don't worry, Rose. I need to help out a friend, and Edward offered to give me a ride. Thanks for having us!" Bella gave her a cheery smile and then continued to be pulled by Edward out of the house and to the passenger side (the door opened by the chivalrous Edward) of an old Jeep. Alex quickly got in the backseat and put on his seat-belt.

"I've got the location on Waze," Bella said, showing Edward her phone. "Want me to put it in the grip?" Bella asked, motioning to the grip that was attached to the air vents. Edward nodded and in seconds they were pulling out of the McCarty driveway.

"What's going on?" Alex asked Bella, who turned as much as she could to look at the boy.

"I've got another friend who's in a pinch, so we're gonna go help her out. Can I ask you for a favor, Alex?" Bella made sure she'd caught the boy's eye when he hesitantly nodded. "She might be crying when we pick her up, so could you give her a tight hug? She really likes hugs when she's sad," Bella elaborated, and smiled when Alex gave her a hesitant ok.

"What happened to her?"

Bella shrugged.

"I don't know yet, but she called me crying. So she must be sad, don't you think?"

Alex pulled his eyebrows together in concentration.

"Does everyone cry when they're sad?"

Bella hummed.

"I don't think we always cry when we're sad. Sometimes I've been so sad I haven't been able to cry, and other times I've cried from laughing so hard. We're all different, so we all feel differently, I think."

Alex pursed his lips together in unhappiness.

"That's dumb."

Bella laughed, turning back to look at the front.

"I guess it is."

"And you said you weren't friends with my dad, but you _are_ , aren't you?" Alex suddenly accused, and Bella turned around to see him with his arms crossed in front of him with angry eyes trained on her.

Surprised, Bella switched between turning to look at Alex and Edward, whose stiff expression made her heart hurt.

"Can't I be friends with the two of you?" Bella asked. "Your dad's not as cool as you, but he's pretty nice, you know? He's even helping me just because I'm friends with you."

"He's _not_."

Bella pulled a mock-offended face.

"Are you calling me a _liar_?" Bella asked, and Alex's shocked face was so funny she nearly laughed. "Because I have it on good authority he loves you _so_ much he wants to be nice to your friends."

"I don't have any friends," Alex mumbled defiantly, and this time Bella gave him an incredibly heartbroken face.

"I thought _we_ were friends."

Alex puckered his lips out.

"Not if you're friends with my dad."

Instead of laughing at his tantrum, as Edward had expected, or getting annoyed, Bella reached a hand over and tugged on his jeans' leg. She looked at the little boy seriously.

"If you really don't want me to, I don't have to be your dad's friend," Bella began, and Alex looked up at her cautiously. "But I happen to think your dad also needs one."

Alex looked skeptically at the back of his dad's head.

"He doesn't."

Bella nodded vigorously.

"Oh, but he does. We all need friends to cheer us up when our family can't. Or will you take over in my stead and cheer your dad up for me?" Shamefully, Alex lowered his eyes. No, all he did nowadays was throw tantrums and ignore his father. He wasn't a very good son, and he knew it. "So can't I be friends with the two of you?"

Alex thought about it.

He didn't want to share Bella, that was true. Other than Seth, she was the only person these days who had willingly talked to him. He didn't want her to be on his dad's side. On the other hand, his dad _did_ seem sad these days, and he could also use a new friend. So Alex nodded with a deep sigh.

"Fine, you can be his friend, too."

Bella smiled at him brightly and sent him a kiss, making the boy blush. She turned with the same bright smile to look at Edward, who saw it out of the corner of his eye. She truly had a way of making his heart feel light.

'Thank you' he mouthed to her, to which Bella just shook her head and looked out the window. After a few minutes, Edward told her she should call her friend because they were five minutes away, and that he could remember the rest of the way.

Bella called Alice.

 _"H-Hello?"_

"Al, start heading out. I'm five minutes away," Bella said, her heart squeezing painfully at hearing her friend still crying.

 _"Ok. That was f-fast,"_ Alice hiccuped, then hung up. Bella sighed.

"How'd she sound?" Edward asked, making a right and looking at her face in the process.

"Still crying. It must've been bad," Bella lamented, hating that one of her oldest friends was so clearly hurting. "Thank you for giving me a ride, Edward. I can take a cab from here to Alice's house."

Edward rolled his eyes.

"Nonsense. My mother would beat my ass into next week if she ever knew I'd left you on the sidewalk." He said, and for some reason Bella got the impression that Alex was already used to his dad's cursing.

Bella smiled at him.

"Thank you, Edward. You are quite the gentleman." Bella complimented, and Edward felt the tips of his ears burn in embarrassment.

"Shut it," he grumbled, making Bella giggle but not make any further comments. How could a girl be so damned open? He felt that her parents, if not she, must've been hippies.

"Oh, that's Alice!" Bella said, pointing at the girl standing on the sidewalk. It was only five in the afternoon, so the sun still shone brightly enough that the sequins Alice so loved shone in the daylight.

"She's wearing sequins during the day?" Edward mumbled to himself, pulling the car to the side. Bella didn't even hear him, too concentrated on jumping out the moment the car stopped to grab Alice into a fierce hug.

"You ok, Ali-cat?" Bella whispered in her ear, and her answer was a slow shake of the head.

"Whose car is it? Mike drives a sedan." Alice whispered, and her voice sounded so raw from crying that Bella felt like she wanted to cry along with her.

"A new friend's. His name is Edward Cullen, and the little kid in the back is his son Alex. He's Rose's friend," Bella whispered back, then gave her a tight squeeze before letting go. "Come on. They're gonna drop us off at your place."

Alice got in the back of the car and Bella went back into the passenger side; she put in the address for Alice's house and placed the phone back in the grip. They all took a moment to breathe deep.

"Edward and Alex, this is my best friend, Alice. Alex, remember what we talked about?"

Alex dutifully nodded; Edward had already pulled out and was heading in the direction Waze said.

"Bella said you would want a hug. Was she—" He didn't even get to finish his sentence before Alice had slipped to the seat in the middle and grasped him in a bone-crushing hug. In the mirror, Edward could see his son blushing.

Bella smiled at the man next to her, but otherwise said nothing.

Out of the twenty minutes to Alice's house, fifteen were spent holding onto Alex as if the girl's life depended on it. When the boy started looking blue, Bella chipped in.

"Al, could you let Alex go? You're cutting off his air supply," Bella commented, and finally, Alice let go. Sniffling, she sat correctly.

"Your son is an excellent hugging pillow, Mr. Cullen." Alice said hoarsely, and Edward felt his heart whimper a bit.

"Please, call me Edward. Thirty's not that old yet," Edward said, making Bella laugh.

"Please, you're getting off easy. She calls _me_ old to my face and I'm only twenty-one." Bella said, glancing back at her friend in the mirror's reflection. "But she's closer to Alex than she is to you, so maybe she _should_ call you mister?" Bella laughed in mock hurt when Alice leaned over to slap her arm. "Violence!"

"You started it," Alice mumbled, huffing and crossing her arms over her chest.

"Oh, we're here," Bella said, pointing at the driveway Edward should park in. It was a _very_ nice house, Edward thought; gated, three stories high and modern. The oldest thing here was probably his car. He slowed to a stop in the driveway, and as soon as he'd parked Alice mumbled out a quick thank you and had dashed inside the house, probably ready to cry again.

Though he didn't fault her, Bella shot him an embarrassed smile.

"Sorry. She's not a rude person, but she usually cries for _hours_ when she's sad. I'm actually quite proud that she managed to hold it in for fifteen minutes," Bella apologized to Edward, and to Alex she gave him one of her brilliant smiles. "It was probably because you did such a good job at comforting her, Alex."

He shrugged in embarrassment.

"I just hugged her."

"You were _patient_ with her. Most people would've pushed her off after a minute or two, but you held on. Thank you for taking care of my friend, Alex." Bella said, making the boy blush at the sincere praise. Bella's heart warmed; like father like son, she supposed. She turned back to Edward. "And thank _you_ for driving me around. It would've taken me a lot longer to get to her and get us back if it wasn't for you."

Edward shook his head.

 _Thank_ you _for making friends with my son_ , Edward wanted to say, but didn't. He wasn't one for emotional outpours, and he didn't think he'd start now.

"It was my pleasure."

"Oh yeah, is this your cell phone number on your card?" Bella asked, and Edward nodded. "Great! Can I call you tomorrow? I usually show my gratitude in cookies, so I could drop them off at your house or something."

Edward had a better idea.

"How about you text me your address and I'll come pick them up in the morning, and we'll have brunch? My house is currently having some things fixed, so it's not very hospitable right now."

Bella nodded easily enough. She didn't mind, really, but didn't think he'd budge.

"Sure," she said, opening her door. She craned her neck around to look at the boy. "Bye, Alex. See you tomorrow!"

Alex waved goodbye.

"Bye Edward. Thanks again," Bella said, and with a final smile hopped out of the car, shut the door and hurried in the house to comfort her friend.

Edward remained parked there for a few minutes.

"Bella's quite nice, isn't she?" Edward asked, hands gripping tightly the steering wheel. After a couple of beats, Alex replied.

"She really is."

Edward let his hands relax, and they pulled out and away.

* * *

 **Hi again! So, let me say that this story's got me quite excited because I've literally never done one like this. I did a list and everything, and most things are either totally new or moderately different. I hope no one can spot details where you go 'Oh but you've done this before, Leah!' because if I did, my subconscious is just too powerful. I wanted to do a story where Bella's character was a bit different from usual, and where y'all could see the natural progression of her and Edward's relationship. It's important for me to make a positive character like Bella; despite what I'll start revealing about her, little by little, I want to emphasize that she's not faking how nice she is. I just wanted to try and make a Bella that's quite different from me on most fronts, unlike the usual one. It's hard to not pour your personality into your characters, but this is my attempt at it. Hope you like it!**

 **Leah.**


	2. The Death of Big Red

**Disclaimer: I'm not as nice as Bella, but still don't own anything.**

* * *

 _Wake me up! Before you go go, don't leave me hanging—_

Bella shut off the alarm with a groan. If there was anything she wasn't good at, it was mornings. She'd normally take about two hours or so after waking up to be fully alive, so she'd set the alarm for nine a.m. so she'd be alive for brunch at eleven. Last night, after arriving dead on her feet at home, she'd texted Edward the hour and address to her apartment. Then she'd prepared the cookie dough and had put it away to cook it in the morning.

It turned out that Alice's big heartbreak had been because she'd seen Jasper kissing another girl —someone from their grade she couldn't recognize. She'd gone up to the bathroom and had seen them kissing outside of it. Shocked, she could do nothing but run out and go hide in the backyard, where surprisingly no one was. Bella had tried drawing out possible scenarios where Alice had misunderstood, but Alice was having none of it and declared it a lost cause to pretend otherwise: Jasper wasn't into her. The boy she'd crushed on for the last two years didn't like her back, and that was that. No matter that she mooned over him on a daily basis and had a gut feeling he was _it_ for her.

All Bella had been able to do was hug her, dry her tears and tell Alice she loved her. It would be no use to point out that there were other men, because right then there wasn't. Words of encouragement would fall on deaf ears if spoken too soon, so Bella didn't say anything. When Mrs. Brandon had come home and had seen her daughter in tears, her face had made Bella want to hide in shame. Once more, when Alice had been in trouble or hurt, Bella had been her first call, not her mother. She hadn't known what to do other than smile apologetically and keep rubbing Alice's back. Their bond was too strong, and Alice was slow to trust people. It had been nine years since her adoption, so Alice was mostly comfortable, but there would always be that sense of silent understanding between the two girls.

Bella showered quickly and put on jeans, a tucked in green t-shirt and Converse. She left her face bare and threw her hair into a high ponytail, too lazy to do the usual braid. Still a bit zombie-like, she set to work in baking the cookies and pulling out other breakfast ingredients.

The bell rang a bit too soon; it was ten forty, twenty minutes before the agreed upon time. Bella shrugged it off and, drying her hands on a towel, opened the door.

It was Mike.

"Mike, hi! I thought you'd be coming over for dinner," Bella said delightedly, ushering him in. "I'm about to have brunch with a friend, so you should stay. I'll put out another plate—"

Mike pushed the door behind him, leaving it slightly open.

"Don't."

Bella shut her mouth, blinking in surprise at his response. Mike seemed more serious than usual, and something didn't bode well in her stomach. Suddenly, she was a lot more awake.

"Mike, what's wrong? You don't look so good."

Mike sighed, running a hand through his blond hair. He was distressed, that much she could see.

"I'm sorry to do this to you like this Bella, but…" Mike let his hand drop in defeat, looking up and into Bella's eyes. "Let's break up."

Bella didn't blink.

"What?"

"Shit, I didn't want to do it like this, but I just can't see another way…" Mike grumbled to himself, but Bella wasn't fully listening. She was repeating his previous words over and over in her head like a broken record player; faintly, she heard in the background the oven ding that the cooking time was over. "Bella, the last year with you has been a happy one. It really has. But I don't have the time for a relationship right now, so truth be told you're only wasting your time on me."

Bella still wasn't blinking.

"When did I ask you for more time than you could give? When did I say I was throwing my time away?" Bella asked, feeling a growing emptiness in the pit of her stomach.

"Bella…" Mike trailed off, looking up at the ceiling as if seeking his answers there. "Happy as you make me, you're not my priority right now. If I had to put things in order I'd say work, food and sleep are the things I care about most right now. Seeing you is a duty, and it shouldn't be. You're a fun person, Bells, and I don't want to feel like I'm forcing myself to see you."

It really was a funny feeling, the pit in her stomach.

"So you don't think I'm important to you," Mike was about to correct her, but she beat him to it. " _As_ important as your work, or eating or sleeping. Mike… this has always been the case for you. Please don't lie to me."

Mike flinched. Bella could seem air-headed, but she was sharp.

"I…" he gulped down his cowardice. "I lost interest, Bella. I'm sorry, I don't know how else to put it. I really liked you, but these days… I prefer—"

"Stop," Bella whispered. "I think that's enough." Mike nodded, flushing an ugly red in shame.

"I'm—"

"Sorry, I know," Bella sighed. "Well, I guess that explains why you've pushed back our meetings lately. It makes sense."

Mike looked down at his feet, suddenly unable to see her.

"Thank you for being honest with me, Mike. And for the last year. I really enjoyed it."

Mike looked up, expecting her to be crying, but she wasn't. Now that he thought of it, he couldn't think of having ever seen Bella cry. But instead of the sadness he'd expected to see on her face, he only saw a cool mask. It was unlike her to be expressionless, and this hurt him much more than seeing her bawling her eyes out could have.

"I—"

 _Knock knock._

"Hey Bella, is it safe for your door to be…" Edward trailed off, stepping into the apartment. "… open?" He cleared his throat, and Bella noticed that behind him was a sharply dressed Alex. "I'm sorry, am I intruding?"

Mike was about to answer, but Bella beat him to it.

"No, you're not. Mike was just leaving," Bella said, leaning sideways to give a small smile to the young boy. "Hey Alex."

"Hey Bella."

Mike looked between the three, frowning.

"New friend?" It wasn't an odd happening; Bella made friends quickly of all genders and ages, so it wasn't weird for him not to recognize one of her friends.

Bella nodded.

"We met yesterday; Edward is an old friend of Emmett's. He helped me out, so I'm returning the favor," Bella needlessly explained. She looked back at Mike with the same mask-like face. "Mike, please go."

He sighed, nodding sadly.

"Alright. I'm—" he stopped himself, knowing Bella didn't want to hear it again. So he sighed again. "Edward, Alex, it was nice meeting you. Please excuse me."

And Mike left, from her home and from her heart.

 _"Dad, is something wrong?"_ Bella heard Alex ask his father after a minute had gone by and no one had moved from heir spots. This gave her a start; she finally looked from the spot that Mike had vacated towards the father and son.

"Oh, not at all, Alex. Come on in, the cookies are ready," Bella said, hoping against hope that they hadn't yet burned. It didn't smell like it, which was a plus.

"Bella…" Edward trailed off, not letting his son move from his spot. "Are you sure? We can come back another time."

Bella waved it off.

"Nonsense, I've got all the food out and everything. It'd be a waste not to eat it," Bella said, motioning the two of them forward. Edward closed the door with a sigh as she approached them. Alex stood up on his tiptoes to put his arms around her neck, giving her a tight hug.

"Are you sad?" Alex whispered in her ear, and Bella smiled at the little boy's kindness.

"How could I when you're here with me?" Bella retorted, giving him a squeeze and releasing him. "Want to wash your hands before eating, Alex? The bathroom's that door to the right." Bella pointed, and the boy dashed off.

"Hi Edward," Bella gave him a small smile; she leaned in to give him one of those air kisses, but instead found herself pulled into an incredibly comforting hug. Edward was lean compared to Emmett, but he still had quite the muscles on him. _And_ he smelt nice.

"You told Alex that friends comfort you when your family can't, so…" Edward patted her back lightly, making Bella feel as if she was ten years old. "Are you _really_ ok?"

Bella pulled back, putting a warm hand on his shoulder. Her mouth twitched, but otherwise her expression didn't change. It worried him to see this far more than it would have to see her crying.

"My boyfriend just broke up with me, Edward. I'm not really ok," she confessed, letting go when she heard the water tap close. "But I know I will be."

Brunch after that went off without a hitch. Alex still didn't look at his dad much, but he didn't complain when Bella would pull his father into conversation or was asked by him to pass the salt. He'd be slow progress, but Bella suspected he was itching to change far more than to hold on to anger. The cookies had been slightly overcooked, but both Cullens devoured them as if they had been the chewy texture they'd been intended to be. When they were done, Edward made Alex help pick up the dishes and put them in the sink while Bella searched for the Disney Channel so the boy would have something to do while the adults did the dishes (she'd insisted). With Alex distracted, she and Edward made conversation in hushed voices.

"So, can I ask what happened?" Edward asked, drying the dish that had just been handed to him. Bella thought the question was very straight-forward, but she didn't mind.

"Sure, but it's not much of a story," Bella said, grabbing another plate and scrubbing it down. "He got here a few minutes before you did and told me he'd lost interest in me. The end."

Edward almost dropped the dish.

"Wait. _He_ lost interest in _you_?" Edward chortled, thinking of the wannabe poster boy for Abercrombie & Fitch, then of the gorgeous woman next to him. "He's a fucking moron. Not only are you far out of his league, I cannot for a shitting second believe _he's_ more interesting than _you_."

Bella's lip twitched in amusement.

"He _is_ quite dumb, isn't he?" Bella asked rhetorically, handing over another plate. "Truth is, I should've known. The hints were all there, but I didn't want to see it."

Edward shook his head in disagreement.

"You're not a mind reader. If he didn't want you, God gave him a fucking mouth for a reason. He should've used it." Edward grumbled, stacking the now-dry plate with the others. He waited for the next one.

"That _is_ true," Bella mused, absentmindedly washing a fork. "We were together for a year, you know. It should've occurred to him a bit earlier that we weren't compatible." She rinsed off the fork and handed it over. Edward dried, looking at her with a pensive face.

"What?" Bella noticed.

Edward shook his head, putting aside the dried utensil.

"I just think it's amazing how you're not cursing him for all he's fuckin' worth. Fuck knows _I_ cursed Lauren enough to frighten a sailor." Edward grumbled, making Bella chuckle. She could very well picture the man next to her even cursing his ex-wife in his sleep.

"I'm just not angry with him, you know? Sure, I wish he'd thought to tell me sooner, but I'm glad to not have in my life anymore someone who was half-hearted about wanting me. It's a relief to have been able to receive a proper goodbye, too," Bella admitted, and saw in Edward's eyes how unexpected he'd found her reply to be. He didn't press there.

"Did you not love him?"

Bella shrugged.

"I might've, but to be honest, I've never been in love, so I'm not sure if I'd recognize it." Bella said, handing over a bowl. Edward took it, even more interested in this woman than before.

"Well, surly you've seen what love looks like. What about your parents?" Bella's face fell at the question, and Edward wanted to kick himself in the shin. "Oh, shit, sorry. Are they divorced?"

Bella shook her head.

"No, not exactly. I grew up bouncing around in the system, so I never had the chance to see what a happy relationship looked like long enough to understand it," Bella said, startling when the bowl hit the counter with a bit too much force. Looking up, she saw Edward was beet red.

"Fuck, I'm so sorry. I'm always putting my foot in my mouth, so I—"

Bella put a hand on his arm to get his attention. He stopped talking.

"Edward, you couldn't have known. It's not like I have a tag reading 'Orphan' on my forehead, right?" Bella smiled at him, and this time Edward saw all the strength that resided behind such a simple act. "Don't worry about it."

Edward tried to venture into the woman's heart a little bit.

"Is that… how you met Alice?" Edward asked, and Bella's eyes reflected a bit of surprise at his deduction. "It's just that, you said you were childhood friends, so…"

Bella nodded.

"Alice got adopted, and I didn't. I mean, I went into foster care when I was eight, and…" Bella gave Edward an embarrassed smile. "Before I knew it ten years had passed and there I still was. I was… ten, I think, when I first met Alice, and she got adopted three years later. She made such a huge fuss about leaving me behind that she made her parents _promise_ to let us meet every week in between. I think she'd have gotten adopted sooner, truly, but she'd always kick up a fuss about leaving me and would scare away the couple."

Bella thought back to those days where Alice had been her shining light. Everything Bella did had been imitated by Alice, who upon arriving at five years old had taken an immediate liking to the older girl. They were the closest thing each other had to a sister.

"What happened to Alice's parents?"

Bella smiled sadly, handing over the last dish and shutting off the tap.

"Died in a car crash. She had no living relatives and no assigned tutor since her parents hadn't left a will. It's a shame, but she's so happy with the Brandons that I've got to believe it's what was best for her." Bella admitted, thanking Edward when he put down the plate and got started with putting everything back in its place. Edward stepped aside, not knowing where everything was.

"I can't believe you weren't adopted," Edward shook his head in disbelief after a couple moments of silence. "You're probably the nicest person I know, and I've only known you less than twenty-four hours."

Bella giggled.

"Oh, I told you, didn't I? I used to be a very angry kid. Alex is a soft teddy bear compared to who I used to be at his age. I caused so much trouble every single day it's a wonder no one killed me out of fury. The only time I behaved was when Alice arrived, and once she left any time our time together was threatened."

Edward helped her put the plates away in the cupboard.

"So, what changed?"

Bella gave him a half smile out of the corner of her eye, putting other things away.

"I know it sounds cliché, but I found God. The foster family I was living with when I was about sixteen was quite Catholic, so I couldn't escape going to mass on Sundays. After about a month or so of just zoning out I decided to actually listen for once, and I found that the messages that were being delivered were exactly what I needed. Of releasing anger, of forgiving yourself and others, of seeking help in God when you couldn't find the help within yourself. Gradually I started converting, and as I realized the family became nicer and nicer to me the less angry I became, I thought to myself maybe it wasn't so bad to believe in something grander than you. And so here I am."

Bella blushed. She wasn't used to talking about her religiousness with anyone, let alone a stranger. Alice would usually tune her out if she started talking about anything like this, so she was used to being dismissed.

But Edward seemed interested in her process.

"Are you one of those people that go to Church every Sunday?" Edward asked. Bella nodded.

"Sunday at six p.m. I'm terrible with mornings." Bella grinned. "You're invited to come today, if you want."

Edward laughed.

"Are you trying to make me into a good Catholic? Because I'm a terrible one, mind you," Edward said, nodding back at the little boy entranced by the TV. "That kid's born out of wedlock, I'll have you know."

Bella's lip twitched.

"Don't worry. I'm also quite selective about which parts I believe in, and every time I come out of Church the Father usually makes a comment that makes me rant for a while about intolerance." Bella shrugged. "But you know, it's just an offer. The invite's open."

Edward nodded in gratitude.

"Maybe not today, but I'll keep it in mind for another Sunday." Edward looked turned to look at his son. "My mother's expecting us for dinner, so I think I'd rather risk the wrath of God than her's."

Bella laughed.

"I think God's ok with you treasuring your family," Bella said, putting in the last of the utensils in the drawer. She cracked her fingers, and thankfully, Edward didn't even bat an eyelash. Some people could be quite sensitive to the noise. "Does Alex get along with her?"

Edward nodded.

"Oh yeah, my parents coddle him like crazy. Even at the height of his anger he's never missed one of our weekly dinners. _His anger_ is quite selective." Edward said, then separated himself from the counter. "Come on, if he thinks we're not watching he'll switch it to Game of Thrones."

They hurried.

* * *

Late that night, as Bella was trying to go to sleep, her heart kept replaying in her mind the breakup. Trying to understand if it was something she had done, or if it truly had been lack of chemistry and she'd just been so obtuse. Had she imagined the whole thing? She'd thought Mike had wanted her, _liked_ her, but… she'd been so wrong. Though she'd spoken the truth that she didn't think she'd loved him, the part of her that had thought it could evolve into it hurt. It wasn't a big part of her, but just enough that a piece of her soul felt robbed from the chance of falling in love. Mike was a great guy and a dedicated almost-doctor, so she should've easily fallen for him. Perhaps she hadn't because something deep within her had realized the lack of interest on his part.

Bella tried crying. She knew she was sad, and she knew people cried when they were sad, but… she couldn't. The last time she'd cried out of anger or sadness she'd been almost eight years old, and from then on only the occasional tear had leaked out of laughter or from yawning. She felt broken, like she had thirteen years of accumulated tears waiting to spill out. It couldn't have been normal to not cry, but an irrational side of her suspected that the last time she'd cried had been enough to last her a lifetime. Did it even work that way? Perhaps not.

Bella grabbed her cell phone, and despite it being one in the morning before a summer school night, called Alice.

She answered on the fourth ring.

 _"Bells? What's up?"_ a hoarse voice answered.

"Sorry to wake you Al, but I really needed to tell you something."

 _"Of course. Anything for you."_

Bella's heart warmed.

"Mike broke up with me today." Bella whispered, and from the sharp gasp on the other end she could tell Alice was rearing up to curse the blond. "Before you say anything, I'm ok."

 _"That fucking ass, I knew he was a shit-show from the moment I first saw him."_ Alice grumbled, making Bella want to smile. _"So if you're ok, what is it?"_

"That's just it. I'm ok, and my boyfriend of a year just broke up with me. He said he'd lost interest in me, and…" Bella sighed deeply, looking up at the ceiling. She had black-out curtains, so everything around her was black. "I want to cry, but I still can't. Ali-cat, am I broken?"

On the other end, Alice's heart broke for her oldest friend.

 _"Absolutely not, and don't you ever say that again. You're a little bruised, that's all. Anyone would be, if they'd gone through what you did. You're doing great, Bells, but we both know you_ will _do even better."_

"Am I really? Because at times I think that I feel and see everything through a glass. I can recognize most shapes, but sometimes it's just a little too far and the shape gets distorted. I don't think I _feel_ like most people do."

 _"Isabella Swan, who told you that you had to feel like everyone does? That's bullshit, and you know it. Now stop it with the pity-party. I'll swing by tomorrow… today… after school to see you, alright? You better be there. I'm bringing ice-cream and Nancy Drew."_

She threw her friend a kiss.

"I love you, Alice. Thank you."

Bella was pretty sure this was the only person in the world she'd ever uttered those words to.

* * *

"Hello?"

 _"Bella? Hi, it's Edward. I'm sorry, did I wake you up?"_ Edward's worried voice came through the phone, and Bella awakened just a bit more than before.

"What time is it?"

 _"Eleven."_

"Then thank you for waking me up," Bella laughed hoarsely. "I told you, didn't I? I'm terrible with mornings. What's up?"

 _"Oh, it's just that I've got a bit more free time than I thought I'd have, so I thought maybe you'd want me to take a look at your car. I thought of offering yesterday, but it occurred to me when I was well on my way to my mom's."_

Bella cracked an eye open.

"That'd be incredibly nice of you Edward, thank you. Do you mind if I make you lunch? For the trouble."

Edward's delighted cough was detectable to the half-asleep girl.

"I'll take that as a yes," Bella yawned, cracking another eye open. "Anything you don't like or can't eat?"

 _"Zucchini or beets. I can't stomach them. Apart from that… anything goes, pretty much. Oh, also, any exotic meat. I'm not adventurous with meat at all."_

Bella felt there was a story, and thought to ask later.

"Got it. See you in… an hour?"

Agreeing, the two hung up.

-.-

"So, I imagine you have a little bit of time before heading back to work? Or are you done for the day, Bossman?" Bella asked, welcoming Edward back into her apartment. It was weird that she'd invited him into her home two days in a row, let alone one; she wasn't used to inviting people into her apartment. How could she? She spent a lifetime avoiding bringing people over, and once she had her own space, couldn't break the habit. She loved being around others and would often go to other people's places, but whenever someone suggested going over to hers she'd make an excuse. A home felt like such an intimate place; Bella could count on one hand the amount of times she'd had Mike over, and she always met Rose in restaurants or the office or somewhere else. In the last year she'd invited over perhaps four people in, and one of them had only come in and out quickly. Bella thought maybe it had to do with the fact that she was so protective of the one thing she'd always wished for: a home.

"Oh, I'm done for the day. I'm fucking lazy and know I wouldn't go back to reopen the shop. But you know, I need to pick up Alex at... five from piano class. He gets quite cranky if I pick him up late."

Bella's eyes lit up. She guided Edward to the kitchen, where lunch was already served in the form of chicken Alfredo, white rice, salad and, though he couldn't see, cheesecake. Dessert was a leftover from one of her creations on Saturday; if she baked, she usually did a handful of desserts to give out. Saturday she did cookies, cheesecake and apple pie (which was reserved for Alice's visit when she got out of class).

"Oh, does he play? That's _amazing_! I've always loved piano but not only do I have two left feet I have two left hands." Bella smiled, thrilled at the information. Edward read in Bella's eyes that she would be asking for a concert as soon as she could. Amused, he went ahead and sat down in front of Bella.

"He's still a beginner, but he's a quick study. Like two years ago he found out that I play piano, so he automatically wanted to learn."

Bella's eyes lit up even further, if that was even possible.

"Oh, _you_ play! Now I _really_ want a duet between you and Alex," Bella grinned, looking far too excited for someone who didn't even know if he was a good player or shit. "But where do you take Alex? How's he there if you can't take him?" She motioned for him to go ahead and start with his food. Thanking her, he started by filling his glass with lemonade (he didn't enjoy simple water much).

"My sister's a secretary at a music school so Alex gets a discount; since it's vacations I drop him off at a recreational center for children. From nine to eleven he's got drawing lessons, then he has tae kwon do from twelve to two, and my sister's within walking distance so she picks him up, takes him back to the school and from three to five he's got piano." Edward chuckled at her surprised face. "Yeah I know, I loaded him with activities. The classes are cheaper than a babysitter every day, plus he likes them."

"Wow, that's _amazing_ , Edward. Alex is such a lucky kid," Bella said sincerely, knowing she certainly would have loved to be sent to such activities. All she'd had growing up was the local library; heck, she didn't have a cell phone until almost seventeen, since she'd had to save up money from her part-time job. From fifteen to sixteen she'd worked at a McDonald's as a crew member, and once she had enough money to get a license, switched to food delivery to have a better schedule as well waiting on tables on weekends. This meant it took her a while to get a phone, and her first computer was a gift to herself on her nineteenth birthday. Alice had tried giving her a phone at the very least, but Bella was stubborn and wouldn't accept anything expensive.

"You know, sometimes, no matter how much you give your children you sometimes wish you could give them more. I do my best for Alex, but sometimes it doesn't feel enough, especially when I think of all my parents gave me. It fucking sucks to feel like you aren't giving your children enough," Edward said, surprising himself with how honest he was being. Usually, he felt such a subject was private, and that no one else had any business knowing about his efforts or his life, but something about Bella made him spill. Maybe it was the look in her eye yesterday? A look so empty and sad that a part of him wished to help fill it, if only for a little while.

"Edward," Bella began with one of her incredibly kind smiles. Now, after learning just a bit more about her, he could see all the strength behind it. "I can tell you're an incredible father, and that you give a 1000% of yourself for Alex. Now, I might be biased what with not having ever had a dad and all, but from what I've seen, not as many fathers try as hard as you do. You're attentive and devoted to your son. Children… they don't really need much more than that, do they?"

Edward wanted to ask what had happened to her parents. Why she'd been so angry, why she didn't look bitter when she talked of the father she didn't have. He wanted to know if she'd never had parents or if she'd lost them. But he didn't, because Bella started eating and motioned for him to do the same. He forgot his questions as soon as he tasted the chicken.

"This is fuckin' _amazing_!" Edward moaned, and when he realized the sound he'd made, felt his ears burn. He tried apologizing, but Bella laughed it off. "It's just that I only eat homemade food on Sundays. The rest of the time I only pack Alex's lunch, have cereal for breakfast or buy one of those frozen meals. It's a miracle Alex is skinny, really."

Bella gave him horrified eyes.

"Oh, you shouldn't! I mean, I get you're busy, but homemade is always best. You know, if you want to, I can teach you how to make a handful of easy and quick but healthy meals. I mean," Bella blushed. "If I'm not overstepping."

Strangely, Edward felt at ease with her butting in; he seemed to understand she came from a good place. More than that, there was something weird about how he saw Bella, who wasn't at all the usual type of person he associated with. Despite what she seemed to think of herself, she seemed to be someone who was _genuinely_ nice. Usually, Edward thought people who behaved like goody-two-shoes were just that; _behaving_ like that, but really weren't that way. With Bella, he didn't feel any fakeness at all. Just a girl who cared about others too much.

"Of course you're not overstepping," Edward said. "I'd love to make something for Alex that didn't come out of a freezer."

Bella smiled.

* * *

"Ok, so you mean to tell me that it was just the _battery_?" Bella's mouth hung wide open in shock.

Edward nodded.

"So I've been car-less for a month now… because the battery ran out? How did I _not_ notice?" Bella cried out, still in disbelief over the huge blunder on her part. How had she not noticed it? He poked his head out from beneath the hood, looking at her with his deadpan face.

"Bella, this car is so old my grandparents probably drove one like this. No way you could've known, this truck doesn't have a signal like modern cars do." Edward said, looking with disdain at the monstrosity in front of him. "You drive a deathtrap."

Bella tried taking offense, but couldn't. The car spoke for itself. She pouted.

"But Big Red's my baby, I can't just sell her or something."

Edward snorted.

"Sell her? Nah Bella, you can only scrap her. She's beyond repair; whatever piece works is about to kick it and everything that doesn't probably should've stopped working twenty years ago." Edward closed the hood firmly, giving the younger girl an apologetic look. He approached her. "I can tow it for you, if you like."

"To the junkyard?" Bella asked sadly. Edward cracked a smile, nodding at her saddened expression. "I can't believe this is how Big Red's life ends. Torn apart."

Edward tried not to grin, but Bella was just too adorable. He knew she wasn't just being dramatic about the parting, if her forlorn eyes were of any indication.

"You can come with me to say goodbye to her, if you want. You can be with her up till the very end," Edward offered, half-jokingly and half-serious. Bella's pout intensified.

"Are you making fun of me?" Bella crossed her arms over her chest, and Edward hurriedly shook his head. "Because I'll have you know that _I_ know how absurd I am."

"You're not being absurd," Edward denied honestly. "This car is probably your first one, right? It's normal to be attached to your firsts."

 _It's why I stuck by Lauren for so long._

"She is," Bella replied, looking at the monstrosity fondly. "I bought her from a high school friend with my first paycheck from writing. I'd always seen him go around in the truck and would think it was amazing that someone had kept something for so long, even if everyone else drove around in fancier cars." She chuckled a little, as if reminiscing. " _And_ she only cost me 3k."

That explained it.

"Now that you mention it, have I heard of any of your books? You mentioned a bit of the genre you wrote, but no names. Maybe I've heard of it?" Edward wasn't an avid reader by any means (there was no time for that), but he bought the occasional new book series to have something to do when things got slow around the shop or he was waiting for Alex.

"Oh, gee, this is embarrassing. Um, maybe you've heard of _The Alloy Nation_? It's—"

"—a book series about a man who ventures into the depths of Mars and finds a secret kingdom of cyborgs and robots, led by a single human family," Edward blurted out, bug-eyed and in disbelief. "I can't believe this. _You're_ S.M. Brandon?" Edward couldn't believe this. Of the handful of books he read these days, Bella Swan was the author of the ones he liked most.

Bella blushed a furious red, and suddenly, her shoes were the most fascinating thing ever.

"So you've heard of it. Yeah, that's my pen-name." Bella laughed nervously.

Edward took a moment to reign himself in.

"You mean to tell me it slipped by you to tell me you're a _best-selling author_?" Even though the first of three books had been released three years ago, he'd read somewhere that the series alone had already sold over ten _million_ copies. There was another mystery series, an isolated fantasy book and a horror novel. He'd heard the horror novel had sold roughly 300,000 copies in the first five days. If all of that was true… Edward burst out laughing. "Fuck, you don't _need_ this deathtrap, Bella."

Bella huffed in displeasure. She knew what was going on through Edward's head; how much money she had, how famous her creations were. True, her new fortune was in the millions, but money had never been something that she'd yearned for. She'd only bought the essentials (including a new laptop) and had put away her money, not seeing much use for it. She'd invested a sum of it in real estate, and she was planning to use a small piece of it to go on a trip with Alice to Greece after her high school graduation. Both had been dying to go.

"No, but I _want_ it," Bella pouted in response, crossing her arms over her chest. Edward saw her reaction and reached over to ruffle her hair.

"Relax, Bella. You having a little money makes no difference to me, except that it's a kinda funny. I thought you were a starving artist," Edward joked, and Bella laughed by reflex.

"Sorry for disappointing you then," Bella blew on Edward's hand as if it'd make it fall away. It did, but by will. "I'm just your run-of-the-mill author."

Edward groaned.

"I'm gonna have to kill Rose," Edward sighed in mock exasperation. "I'd known she worked for the publishing house of _The Alloy Nation_ , but always got brushed off by her whenever I asked for details. Rose always said she didn't know who you were," Edward said in annoyance.

Bella gave him another tinkling laugh.

"I guess I can trust her with my identity, then."

They went back inside the apartment, where Edward proceeded to take in with a little more detail the decorations of the place. Whereas his was littered with toys, dirty dishes and family pictures, Bella's was bare, minimalistic and had a single picture of her with the Alice girl. As for the rest, the place could've belonged to anyone. Except for the wall of books, but that was expected.

Bella ushered Edward to sit on the couch while she made them coffee.

"Hey, Bella?" Edward called out after a while, craning his neck to look into the kitchen from his place on the edge of said couch. Bella was a few feet behind him carrying two cups of coffee.

"Yeah?" she hummed absentmindedly, placing Edward's share on the coaster in front of him, taking her own to the love seat next to the couch. She tucked her legs in underneath her and looked up from underneath her lashes, urging him to talk.

"Are you ok? I mean, just yesterday…" Edward trailed off, not wanting to say the words: _your boyfriend broke up with you_. But Bella understood, he could tell from the way expression got wiped from her face.

"I'm not ok," Bella admitted. "Truth is, I'm a little lost on how to feel. He was my first real boyfriend, so I'm not all that sure of how you're supposed to feel when you're broken up with."

Edward sighed.

"Weren't you the one who told my son we all feel differently?" Edward questioned, and Bella blushed as if she'd gotten caught misbehaving. "I can tell you I felt angry as hell after my divorce, but that's because of the years leading up to it. Angry _and_ relieved. The one time Rose and Emmett called it off the big oaf gained twenty pounds and all but became a hermit out of heartbreak. There's nothing you _have_ to feel, Bella. You just do."

Bella looked down at her cup.

"What if I feel nothing? Is that ok?"

Edward shrugged.

"Dunno. Maybe it just shows _you_ weren't that into him either." Edward theorized, and he felt that this was mostly true. If she felt nothing, maybe it was because he'd meant nothing to her. That, or he'd meant too much.

But judging from her expression, he hadn't.

"I hope that's it," Bella sipped from her coffee. "It'd make sense."

Edward nodded.

He was about to say something but was distracted by the front door opening. Wide-eyed, his back went rigid in anticipation of having to defend Bella from a burglar. He didn't notice that Bella calmly watched as the door opened, and in came Alice.

"Bella, your door was…" Alice trailed off, closing the door behind her. She took in the scene in front of her. "…open. Hi again, Edward was it?"

Sighing in relief, he nodded and got up.

"Yes. Alice, right?" Alice nodded too. "You gave me a scare. I thought someone was trying to break in."

Alice grinned, her eyes flickering from the hunk in front of her to her friend, who'd come around the couch to give her a hug.

"Yeah, I'm the only person with an extra key. Sometimes I come hang out after school if I'm trying to escape from my little brother," she grinned, squeezing Bella back even as she didn't break eye contact with Edward.

"Sorry, I didn't tell you Alice was coming," Bella said, separating from her friend. She looked at Edward with a bright, apologetic smile. "She likes abrupt entrances."

"I can see that," Edward replied, and was about to say something else when his phone rang. He excused himself.

"Hello?"

 _"Dad?"_

Edward frowned, looking at his watch. It was just a quarter past three; Alex was probably calling from his sister's phone.

"What's up? Something wrong?"

 _"The piano teacher had an emergency or something and cancelled last minute. Can you come pick me up?"_

"Of course. I'll see you in twenty."

The two hung up, and a bit embarrassed at what seemed to be an escape, he gave the two girls an apologetic look.

"Sorry to have to do this as soon as you arrived, Alice, but my son's piano class got cancelled. I've gotta dash or His Royal Highness will put me in the doghouse." Edward said, tucking his phone into his back pocket.

"Oh, that's a shame. I was gonna share some apple pie," Bella said sincerely, ignoring Alice's offended glare that demanded to know if she'd really give away some of her precious pie. "Oh! I know, we didn't finish the cheesecake. Want me to wrap some up for you and Alex?"

Edward felt his mouth water a little.

"Yes please."

Grinning widely, Bella did quick work of putting the remaining cheesecake in a container and handing it over to the busy father, who thanked her profusely for the gesture.

"I might not be able to make it tomorrow, but what do you say to me taking away Big Red on Wednesday?"

Sadly, Bella nodded.

"He's taking Red?" Alice whispered in shock, in disbelief that Bella was trusting someone enough to take her precious car. And she didn't even know yet he was taking it away to the junkyard.

"Alright, I'll text you on Wednesday at around midday to see what time works, ok? Thanks so much for today and the dessert." Edward raised up the container a bit to compliment his words. Alice's eyes seemed to be ready to bug out of her eye sockets, but thankfully said nothing more.

"That sounds perfect, Edward. And you're welcome," Bella smiled. "Say hi to Alex for me, will you?"

"Will do," Edward said, opening the front door. He chanced a glance back at the two women. "Bye Alice, bye Bella."

"Bye Edward," the two replied at the same time, and then the mechanic was gone, off to pick up his son.

Alice waited a solid three minutes before turning with a Cheshire Cat smile to face Bella.

"So." Alice slid over to Bella, hands behind her back and rolling back and forth on her heels; the smile was quite insufferable, but Bella was glad her friend was in the joking mood. Her heartbreak on Saturday had been quite intense, and she suspected that though she wasn't faking her mood she was also suppressing her sadness.

"So." Bella parroted, holding back her smile when Alice's only widened further.

"Why was Saturday's hunk of a man in your precious apartment?" Alice asked, her eye glinting with mischievous intent. "I mean, I'm all for it, but you never let anyone in."

Bella, fully aware of her next words, answered innocently.

"He was also here yesterday with his son," Bella said, enjoying how Alice's jaw dropped dramatically. She continued. "I invited him for brunch to thank him for giving me a ride, and today he dropped by for lunch and to take a look at Big Red. He declared her dead," Bella added sadly, but by this point Alice gave a flying shit about the old piece of metal.

"Wait, so he's been over _two days_ in a row?" Alice grabbed Bella by the arms. "And you just thought to tell me now?"

"Well, I've been kind of busy, what with my boyfriend breaking up with me and all."

And then Alice remembered why she'd come in the first place, and let go of the subject of the sexy Edward Cullen. Instead, she listened as Bella detailed everything that had happened —starting from Saturday evening— and ending with her conversation with Edward. All the while they'd been talking, Bella had been working on bringing out the promised apple pie, Alice had readied a Kung-fu movie (Bella's favorite) and had also brought out the soda, chocolate and popcorn she'd bought on her way to the apartment. Alice had honestly wondered if perhaps she should've bought chips; more than being the stereotypical girls that cried over food when heartbroken, they were the type of girls who used the excuse of heartbreak to binge eat.

By the time they were sitting in front of the TV, Alice didn't know if she wanted to cut Mike more than she wanted to hug Edward. She started by ripping Miketurd a new one.

"I can't believe that fucking bitch," Alice spat, munching angrily on popcorn. She grabbed it by the handful while Bella grabbed two or three pieces at a time. "He strings you around for a year, and how does he end it? Saying he lost interest! Is he for shitting real? Who loses interest in Bella Swan?" Alice scrunched her nose up angrily, taking a sip from her Sprite to wash down the bile. "Thank the fucking Lord you didn't tell him you were rich. You were right to keep quiet about that part, or else who knows if he ever would've put you out of your misery?"

Bella sighed.

"Mike's not like that, Al. He wouldn't have cared. I only didn't tell him because I didn't want to scare him off."

Alice rolled her eyes.

"Girl, how could you even _be_ with someone you thought something as unimportant as your bank account would be a deal breaker? I'd get it if you didn't want him to know you were a bum cause you didn't like working or that you had a dishonest job, but you've got an honest and wonderful profession that you worked hard as hell to acquire." Alice stuffed more popcorn in her mouth angrily as if to put an end to that train of thought. "You're proud of how you earn your bread. Act like it."

Bella laughed.

"I feel like _I'm_ the teenager in this conversation," Bella said, to which Alice shrugged. Sometimes she felt as though Bella had missed so much in life due to trying to survive every day with an undamaged soul that there were aspects she'd neglected, such as relationships. Not that Alice was a pro, but she had more experience than her older friend. Bella had lost her virginity one night at a high school party just to see what the fuss was about, and afterwards remained uninterested in the opposite sex until Mike. Not that Alice could blame her; the story of her boring and less-than-fulfilling first sexual experience had left her so underwhelmed she'd understood her lack of desire for more. Still, what this had meant was that Bella had twenty years of aloneness that didn't exactly prepare you for your first boyfriend.

So it was her job to educate her friend, up until a certain point.

Alice changed the subject.

"So, about Edward..." Alice wiggled her eyebrows, popping in her mouth a Hershey's kiss. Damn, they were good.

"What about him?" Bella faked thickheadedness. Alice gave her a 'Really?' look and popped in another kiss just for good measure.

"He's a DILF, that's what." Alice said, making Bella blush profusely. She pressed on. "Actually, I'd just like to stare. He's more of a DILF to _you_."

"Alice!"

"What? It's true," Alice shrugged. "Look, did you see the muscles he had? I bet he's got at _least_ a four-pack. And that beard… If he wasn't a redhead and like thirteen years older I'd tap that." Bella's eyes grew even wider. "And yours, of course. I respect the girl code and stuff."

Bella rolled her eyes.

"He's not mine, either. Remember? I broke up with my boyfriend like twenty-four hours ago?"

Alice pshed.

"Please, boyfriend shmoyfriend. You didn't see him often, he didn't treat you anything more than 'fine', he was ok to look at, his personality was vanilla pudding at best. Don't you want _more_ , Bells?"

Bella made a face, unable to retort.

"What's _more_?"

Alice shrugged once more.

"I dunno, but Mike wasn't it. I'm thinking something more along the lines of someone you're so comfortable with that you let into your apartment two days in a row? Someone who finds you interesting and loves what you create?"

Bella's blush hadn't let up, and it returned.

"He has a kid, Al. You really think he's aiming for a twenty-one year-old girl? I was eleven when he was having a son, you know. It's weird."

Alice did her specialty: she rolled her eyes.

"He had a kid when he was super young, so it's less weird. Besides, from what you tell me the kid's mother is out of the picture, right? You, in the eyes of a ten-year-old, are an _adult_. And as far as I'm concerned, the fact that you can vote, drive, drink and rent an apartment mean you're a _grown ass_ adult."

That was true.

Bella shook her head, grabbing some popcorn. If she wasn't careful, she wouldn't eat anything; Alice's eating-by-the-handful method always limited the popcorn she ate.

"Why are we even talking about this? I don't like him that way and neither does he."

Alice eyed her best friend with suspicious eyes.

"Right."

* * *

 **Woo! This chapter's even longer than the last, folks. As always, thanks so much for the support. It means a lot to me. Also, though I hate ending on sad notes, I'm so sorry to anyone who lived through or was close to the Parkland school shooting. It breaks my heart into tiny pieces to read, _again_ , of such a tragedy. I cried today again when I read of the courageous sacrifice two teachers put forth to save their students; they're heroes and deserve only good things should they go to Heaven, be reborn or go up in smoke. Whatever comes after death, may the lives lost be at peace. I'm not American, but I cannot bear the horrific events that pour forth every time. I can't do anything to change your country, but whoever can, _please_ do.**

 **Leah.**


	3. Let It Rain

**WARNING: CURVEBALLS AHEAD. LIKE, A FEW. DON'T HATE THE WRITER PLS, NOR THE STORYLINE, just enjoy.**

* * *

Wrong.

It only took a month and a week before Bella realized she _really_ liked Edward Cullen.

It was an odd discovery, to be honest. She hadn't expected it, but the way they got closer was almost unsettling in how natural it was. There was never any awkwardness, any doubtfulness, any reluctancy. The two of them just went with the flow, and before she knew it, they'd spent at least two hours together every single day.

It was in the simple things. Edward took Bella to the junkyard as he'd promised, and in return, she'd invited him and Alex over for dinner. Alex had demanded to go to the amusement park with Bella, so the three had gone on a Saturday, only to go the next one to the zoo, and the one after that to the aquarium, and the one after that to one of Alex's tae kwon do tournaments and so on. The father and son had even accompanied her car shopping to make sure she got the best of the best (Edward even pushed her for a sports car, though Bella refused) until they'd settled on a Mazda. For two weeks Edward had pleaded of Bella to please take Alex to piano lessons because his sister had gotten hospitalized due to a food intoxication, which though not serious, had put her out of commission; she'd had no problem taking Alex to and from the lessons back to her place, though Edward had been mortified. "I tried all of my friends," Edward had explained unnecessarily. "But they all have tight schedules or they're asses. My dad's a doctor so he's working, and my mom refuses to leave my sister's side. Alex is kinda scared of hospitals though so not even for my mother he'll step a foot inside."

She and Alex had also developed a strong bond. She really liked the little boy, and she also found that he wan't as similar to her as she'd initially thought. Well, to the young her. He was angry but could easily forget he was meant to be petulant. He would follow her example in being nice to his father, where she had never respected an adult in her life until she decided to turn things around. He had things he liked where the anger was channeled or absent —drawing, piano, take kwon do—and Bella had lived in emptiness until she'd reached high school and found solace in writing. But above it all, Bella knew that Alex's tantrums were heard and analyzed by his father, who would go to the moon and back if it made his son happy. His anger wasn't dismissed; he wasn't punished for his prolonged tantrum. Edward cooked his favorite breakfast, took him to extracurricular classes despite the financial effort it was, carried him to the car if he'd fallen asleep, told him he loved him in public and probably in private, too. He was a fantastic father, and Bella knew that Alex would be ok because of him. He didn't need big realizations or personality changes; he just needed to realize the quality of a father that he had.

It was lonely, realizing her younger self was still alone in her anger, but it was also a relief to know that Alex was more loved than she ever was.

As the days passed, Bella also realized that Edward had been right: she hadn't been all that into Mike Newton. His absence wasn't palpable, though occasionally she missed their conversations. She didn't miss his touch, which had often been distant. She didn't look for him or think of calling him by mistake. By the time a week had gone by, she was back to her regular self, thinking happy thoughts and empty of sad feelings. She'd been far too busy with Edward and Alexander Cullen's sudden entry into her life to care too much about her ex-boyfriend.

"Bella? _Hello_?" Kate snapped her fingers in front of her eyes, startling Bella back into reality. Bella blushed and apologized for her absent mindedness. "You were like a thousand miles away, doll. Where'd you go to?"

The blush didn't let up.

"Uh, nowhere. Just staring into space."

Kate, who was not easily fooled, squinted. She didn't believe Bella for a second, but she let it go, knowing that the younger girl would come around when she could. Kate let Bella switch the subject to how good their Subway sandwich was, and how happy she was that they'd managed to meet.

Kate Denali was one of the other writers under Rosalie's guidance, and though she wasn't unsuccessful by any means, she was in no way as popular or as (much as it pained her) good as Bella. She wrote short historical books, mostly popular amongst students for the easy-to-read style and quick summary of the class they didn't go to all semester. She'd studied Medieval History, and when she'd faced the decision of what to do with her degree, had gone for the writing field. She and Bella were working on a future historically-accurate novel that centered on a peasant and his fight against a feudal lord's tyranny. Kate insisted she wanted there to be romance, and Bella swore up and down she'd make the character a eunuch before she gave him a love story. Kate didn't understand the girl's aversion to romance, and she supposed it'd be a long time before she did.

"So I told that fucking asshole if he ever touched me again I'd bite his finger off," Kate ranted, and an amused Bella bit into the last of her sandwich.

"You said that to your husband?"

Kate nodded.

"Sure I did. I'm eight months pregnant Bell, my feet are swollen and my bladder can only hold a lick of water. I don't think I'm willing to receive anything into my body that's not food or eye drops."

Bella laughed and was about to reply to her silly friend when her phone rang.

"Sorry about this," Bella apologized, but got waved away by her friend. She answered. "Hello?"

 _"Bella, my love,"_ Alice began. Today was her first day back in school as a senior, so Bella thought it odd she was calling at this time. It was roughly one o'clock. _"I need your help."_

Bella's back straightened, ready to run at a moment's notice.

"What's wrong?"

 _"I'm locked inside the school's bathroom. I just... I'm avoiding Jasper. I don't want to face him, and I will if I go to lunch with my friends since he sits with us."_

Bella held back a sigh of relief. Her friend was relatively ok.

"Oh Ali-cat, I'm sure you can't keep this up forever. Go, if he says hi you say hi back, if he doesn't then you don't. Just keep your cool if you want to keep him as a friend. Otherwise, put some distance."

There was silence on the other end as the senior processed this.

 _"How do I face him though?"_ Alice asked in a small voice, quite uncharacteristic of the strong-willed woman. _"I mean, every time I think I see him my heart hurts. I'm… scared, Bell. Of seeing him with someone else, of not getting my happy ending."_

Bella chewed on her bottom lip.

"You can have a happy ending with someone else."

 _"Absolutely not. Jasper Whitlock is completely_ it _for me. I know in every fiber of my being that he's the one I was meant to find."_

Bella was jealous of such conviction. She didn't think she'd ever loved somebody that much, or at all with the exception of Alice.

"Then fight for him. If you're so sure, then the only thing you can do is march out there and do your damndest to make him fall for you. You're so brave, Alice Brandon. You can have anything you want, and your name is proof of that."

She heard the other girl sniffle on the other end.

 _"Fine, I love you too. I'll report at the end of the day."_ Alice hung up.

Sheepishly smiling at Kate, Bella apologized.

"What was that about?" Kate asked, and curiously enough, Bella thought some of her chips had disappeared. And by some she meant all.

"Oh, that's my childhood friend, Alice. She found the boy she liked kissing another girl a little more than a month ago, and she's been devastated. Today was the first time she saw him since that encounter, so she needed the moral support to face him." Bella said, reminiscing about her friend's love life. "She's liked him ever since he transferred in from Texas her sophomore year. Everything is always 'Jasper this' and 'Jasper that'. She says he's everything she's ever wanted in a friend and in a man. I thought he liked her too, but perhaps not. It breaks my heart for her."

Kate nodded in understanding and pity for her co-worker's friend. She'd met Alice once, and though she hadn't been as sweet as Bella, she'd still been lovely to meet. It was sad she'd had to go through that experience.

"Well, I hope she finds a better guy then," Kate sighed, stealing another of Bella's fries. "High school boyfriends are overrated, don't you think?"

Bella shrugged.

"Wouldn't know. Mike was my first boyfriend."

Kate tsked.

"Well shit, that was an awful first experience then," Kate shook her head, and confused, Bella just raised an eyebrow in question. "You kidding? The man was a walking sedative. He was as exciting as a getting your hair straightened: being done with it is a lot more fun."

Though Bella didn't want to, she laughed. The description was too good.

"Oh stop it Kate, you didn't even meet him more than once. He's a nice person."

"My _ass_ is nice. _His_ ass is boring."

Chiding her friend lightly, the two resumed conversation in talking about their upcoming book.

* * *

"I miss my son," Edward sighed, picking at his food. Scrunching his face up, he pushed back his fries. "Fucking school trips and the stupid person who decided kids should stay out for three days."

Bella laughed.

It was the second week of September already, meaning that Alex had gone back to school and been almost instantly informed that they'd have an integrative camp as a class. Fifth graders would be going to a camp in the forest that specialized in children's activities and solidifying friendships. Edward had his full hope in Alex making at least one friend other than Seth, his sister's son. Seth was a year older and Tanya's step-child from her marriage four years ago; he was a great kid, but also a sixth-grader. Besides that, Seth spent summers with his mother, so Alex was friendless on summers.

This also meant that tomorrow was Bella's twenty-second birthday. She knew Alice would attempt a celebration, but hopefully it'd be quick and painless; possibly not, because the younger girl was still concentrating on not thinking about Jasper. Bella didn't like birthdays, though, so she'd only told Edward that they should see each other after his work for drinks at a nearby bar. He'd been all for it, saying he hadn't gone out in a while and that he needed to forget about his kid for a few hours; he'd left his car at Bella's and they'd walked the couple of blocks.

"Is this the longest you've been without Alex?" Bella asked, watching as Edward inhaled half of his second whisky. She wasn't a drinker, but she enjoyed nursing the occasional glass of wine. Today had been one such day.

Edward nodded.

"Lauren never took him anywhere, so on that behalf he's never gone far away. All of his previous field trips have been less than a day long, too. So yeah, rip my fucking heart out, why don't you, kid?" Edward grumbled, and Bella took a sip from her wine.

"You really love Alex a whole lot," Bella observed to herself, giving Edward a kind smile. "It makes me really happy to see that."

"Well, that's a given. He's my fucking world," Edward muttered, knocking back the rest of his whisky. He stood up. "Come on Bella. Let's head back to yours and pop in a sad movie. I want to cry and not have my man card revoked."

Bella found this much too funny and burst out laughing.

 _His_ man _card!_ Her not-drunk brain laughed. Oh, if only Alex could see the extent of his father's tenderness!

Ignoring Edward's good-natured eye-roll Bella slid down from the stool and groaned in pain, following the redhead out.

"Ow, my butt hurts," she complained as they walked out of the bar. "Those stools are too painful, don't you think?"

Edward grabbed Bella by the arm so he could switch places and walk on the side of the street; Bella smiled at the gesture.

"Want me to kiss it better?" Edward wiggled his eyebrows, making Bella laugh even harder. He was always teasing her, it felt like, and Bella loved it.

"Oh, if you can I'd greatly appreciate it." She giggled, almost skipping ahead to the apartment. "Now come _on_ , you old man, I've got the perfect movie for you!"

Edward's jaw dropped.

"Old man? I'm fucking _thirty_ , you god-awful person. Don't offend my sensitivities," he groused, making Bella cast him back a teasing look as she went ahead a couple of steps. She was always a delight, Edward had to admit; her positivity was rubbing off on him, to the point where he teased and made jokes. He didn't laugh much, himself, but he felt less like a Grinch than he'd been in months. Years, possibly.

"If I can offend your sensitivities, you _are_ old," Bella said, and before they knew it they were entering her apartment building. "Hey Jack!" Bella greeted Mr. Porter cheerily, who grinned back.

"Ms. Swan, Mr. Cullen, good evening. You're back early," he said, talking of how the couple had gone out less than two hours ago.

"Oh, Edward misses his son, so we're gonna watch a sad movie so he can—" Edward clamped a hand over Bella's mouth.

"Hey Jack. Good to see you, as always," Edward grinned, having already become used to the doorman. "Now, if you'll excuse us, I'm gonna take this blabbermouth to sleep."

Chuckling, the doorman bid the two goodnight.

Entering the elevator, Edward released Bella; she was pouting, and it was such a bad attempt at looking angry that Edward had to smirk.

"You look like an angry kitten," Edward confessed, and his obvious good humor made Bella's pout wipe off from her face.

"I do _not_ ," Bella turned her nose up in defiance. "I look like an angry _woman_ ," she said as they stepped out of the elevator. She already had the keys to her apartment out even before they reached it. She started unlocking the door even as she stared up into the beautiful green eyes of her friend. "Because I _am_ , you know. A woman." The door opened.

Edward's smirk slipped off from his face.

"I know you are." Edward said, and this soft tone was so unusual Bella had to pause. She didn't turn on the light; she couldn't, because something about Edward's eyes enthralled her too much. She didn't turn it on even when he stepped in and locked the door behind him, leaving them to the faint light that came from the digital clock next to the TV. And though she could no longer see his eyes, she felt them.

"Edward…?" Bella breathed out, the alcohol suddenly quite abandoning her system. She heard him swallow hard.

"I…" he cleared his throat, about to make something up that would cut through this intense moment. He couldn't think of anything. Instead, he acted: he bent down to kiss Bella Swan.

Consequences fled out the window. Logic left him. Everything in this moment centered around the beautiful, kind, wonderful woman in front of him and how much every cell in his body suddenly desired her, and how sure he'd been that she'd return the sentiment.

And she did.

No questions asked, Bella responded to Edward's intensity with as much heat. When he tried prying her mouth open she willingly did so, wanting his tongue in her mouth and his hands on her ass. She hooked her arms around his neck, letting herself be lifted up by her butt. Neither said anything, asked if this was a good idea, or tried stopping themselves. They were too wrapped up in lust for each other to think of anything but the other. Bella let Edward carry her to her bedroom, where he proceeded to place her down on the middle of the bed. Their lips never separated, not even as he took off her clothes and she took off his. They were both anxious to touch each other; Bella's hands never stopped reaching out for Edward's skin —she touched his shoulder blades, his arms, the small of his back. Edward couldn't help but want to kiss every inch of skin; he'd been wondering for a while if she was as soft all over as she seemed, if she blushed elsewhere when her cheeks flushed red. He dragged his lips down her neck, tasting the path of salt and warmth. He stopped at her collarbone, sucked, and kept moving lower. He had her breasts in a tight grip (she was only a B cup, but Edward was more of an ass man, where she didn't disappoint), and with his hair locked in her hands he moved down so he could take a nipple into his mouth.

Bella sighed in pleasure.

 _Edward_ , she wanted to moan, but she feared talking would break the trance they were in. So she just tightened her fingers and wrapped her legs around his waist, wanting to keep him there forever.

 _She tastes so fucking good_ , Edward thought to himself, somehow thinking along the same lines as Bella regarding the silence. _Like… vanilla._

When he realized how much Bella liked the attention on her breasts, Edward decided to remain there for a while. He licked, nipped and kissed every inch, almost purring when Bella's tugging on his hair turned into soft scratching. When he was about to proceed downwards, Bella tugged once more at his hair; turning to look up into her eyes, he practically saw in her eyes what he wanted. So he complied, letting go of her and crawling up to kiss her once more. He let her switch places, reveling still in the feel of her soft lips. With Lauren, he'd never cared, but right now a part of him worried that his beard was making Bella uncomfortable. Unlike his ex, he didn't think this woman would complain even if it bothered her.

All of these thoughts flew out the window when he realized the minx now had his dick in her hands, looking up through her lashes with a mischievous look in her eye. Pumping up and down she moved across his body, placing kisses on his chest and stopping to suck a spot every once in a while.

Alice had been wrong. Edward had a _six pack_.

Just like she'd done, Edward tangled his fingers in Bella's hair, except he didn't tug. Instead, as if to distract himself, he started undoing it from the tight braid she normally put it in. It created a curtain around her, but Edward made sure to grip her hair away from her face. He felt a deep need to see her as she—

" _Uh_ ," Edward squeezed his eyes shut the moment Bella took him into her mouth. It was hot, wet, _tight_ —it had been at least two years since Lauren had done this for him, too angry with his choices to give him any pleasure. The fact that Bella had done it so suddenly and out of her own initiative meant he was so sensitive he only lasted five minutes of the wonderful torture before he was coming in her mouth. Though he tried pushing her off, Bella resisted, wanting to bring all the pleasure she could to this man.

"Please," Edward gulped, watching as Bella crawled up his body while licking the corner of her mouth. Innocent as she normally looked, she was sin in his eyes at the moment. "Inside."

Nodding, Bella kissed his upper lip. She got on all fours and reached inside her nightstand, looking for a condom. She had one in her hand when all of a sudden she felt Edward grab her legs in a tight hold, separate them slightly and dive into her.

"Edward!" Bella gasped, gripping the condom tightly in her hand. He was licking, biting her clit, making little currents of electricity run throughout her body. It was Heaven, and even more so when she heard Edward running his hand up and down his length in order to get hard again. Within minutes he was ready to go again; it surprised him, because though he wasn't old, he was no longer sixteen.

Bella came the moment she felt Edward's finger make its way inside.

"Now," Bella breathed, turning around to face the man who'd captured her interest in the last months. He was breathing heavy, his emerald green eyes dark; he was sitting back on his heels, hands splayed out on his thighs. Eyes locked on each other, Bella approached him; she carefully opened the condom, grabbed his dick and finally separated their eyes to look down as she rolled it on. Both breathed hard with the effort it took them to not jump each other; the torture of waiting would consume them soon enough, and so the moment came where Edward hovered over Bella, her legs locked tightly around his waist and her arms around his neck. They didn't break eye contact even as he pushed inside, even as the pleasure almost choked her and the tightness almost broke him. It should've felt weird: most people can hardly hold each other's gaze, much less during such an intimate act. But neither Bella nor Edward felt right in looking away until the moment where he was fully seated within her, and then they finally closed their eyes and kissed once more.

"Fuck, you feel…" Edward swallowed hard. He'd fucked two women before Lauren, and none of them had ever felt this tight; he knew it wasn't a matter of age, then, or virginity since Lauren had been during their first time, but difference in bodies. They fit fucking perfectly.

Bella thought how odd it was that her first had been such a disappointing experience, and that Mike (though they'd had sex three months after starting to go out) had been as bland at it as he'd been at everything else, but with Edward… He made her feel so full she almost felt as though nonsense would pour out of her mouth if she didn't close it tightly. Edward had a good size, she felt: big enough he definitely touched her cervix and stretched her a bit, but not big enough to hurt.

Edward was about to ask if he should move, but Bella bucked her hips and that was the green light he needed. Putting a hand under her ass and the other one on the back of her knee, Edward pulled her leg up and out in a way that made her clamp down even harder on him. Fuck, if this was the last pussy he ever tasted, he'd die a fucking happy guy. Edward wasn't harsh, but he definitely wasn't gentle with his thrusting. He thrusted slowly, but every single time he'd be sure to go as far as he could; Bella would alternate bringing her hips up and scratching his back or his hair, and then she'd grab his ass and push him even deeper inside of her. He came close to coming the first time she went through the cycle, but managed to hold it in by thinking of terrible things, like Lauren screeching in his ear that he was useless or the time he stuck in the washing machine his sister's favorite plush toy as a kid. Even then, it only calmed him down for seconds, because then Bella would gasp in pleasure or plaster her breasts to his chest, and he'd be about to lose his shit all over again.

They took their time, and whether it was making love or fucking neither could quite say; but they went on for hours until Edward could move no longer and Bella thought she'd pass out if she had a single orgasm more. In the end, Edward stood to throw out the condom and Bella to pee; he went back to the bed, his body too tired to think of anything. Bella came out yawning, and as she climbed on the bed she saw that the clock read 3:45 a.m.

 _Oh_ , she thought, laying her head down on Edward's chest and throwing an arm around it. _Happy birthday to me._

* * *

Edward woke up feeling much too heavy and too light at the same time. Too heavy because as soon as he opened his eyes and looked down he saw a head full of brown hair resting peacefully against him. And too light precisely because he recognized the head, and his body and soul remembered what had transpired the previous night. He'd flown high above in the clouds, and for a moment, he'd imagined Bella was his girlfriend and she always welcomed him home with a smile and warmth. He'd woken up too early —it was only eight on a Saturday— and so he spent a solid hour imagining the fake scenario where the cheerful girl was in love with him despite his grumpiness and his faults. In it, Bella always smiled: she tried making him go to Church, she told him of her time in the system, she baked for him and let him read first every single book she put out. He imagined taking her out on a date that he'd feel was a bit too cheap but that Bella would love. He imagined how proud he'd be as a partner of her work if he was so proud already as a friend. He thought, guiltily, of how incredible it'd feel to sink into her warmth any time he could. The fantasies came to a sudden stop when he started imagining her putting Alex to sleep, or making him lunch for school, or taking him to the tae kwon do tournaments when he couldn't. At that moment, he suddenly realized his mind had run away from him and that he had to put a stop to this. He couldn't do this —he couldn't bring a woman into Alex's life that could leave them (not as Lauren had, because Bella wasn't like that), nor could he bring a ten-year old kid into a twenty-one year old's life and expect her to be a mother. _Yes_ , he felt like a different person when he was around Bella ever since the day they met; _yes_ , he felt that she understood the Cullen duo better than anyone ever had. But they'd only known each other since July, and he hadn't really thought of a serious relationship with the girl, and if things ended badly between them, he'd be breaking both Alex and Bella's hearts. He was a father above it all, he'd promised himself that the day Lauren walked out of their lives. He didn't think he was ready to risk Alexander's stability for his own happiness. He didn't think he ever would be, because Alex was the person he loved most and that would never change.

So with this bucket of ice water, Edward looked down again at the comfortable sleeping figure of his friend. He didn't regret their night together, not for a second. He knew perhaps he'd cemented Bella Swan into his heart, but no matter. He would have to make do with the memory of being in her arms for a night. He carefully grabbed his phone from the nightstand, which he'd taken out of his jeans in the middle of the night when he got up to pee. Bella didn't even steer. And though he didn't know if he should've, he snapped a picture of the two of them; her, snuggled up against him, and he, placing a kiss on top of her head. Looking at the result, his heart hurt when he saw that she'd smiled slightly at the kiss, as if she'd known what had happened. Slowly, not wanting to wake her yet, he managed to untangle himself from her surprisingly tight grip. No wonder he'd felt so heavy; she'd put all her weight and more on top of him. As if she'd known he would run.

He took his time, knowing how deep Bella slept from her stories. He picked up his clothes and got changed in the bathroom, not wanting to abuse her kindness more and shower in her place. He washed his face, and much to his chagrin he looked livelier than he had in years. What one night with a younger woman would do to you, huh? Sighing, he stepped out of the bathroom and came to a stop as soon as he saw Bella's new position. She'd kicked down the covers until her waist, and she lied on her back with one arm under her pillow and the other on her stomach. Again, he couldn't help himself: he took a picture. She looked like the image of both innocence and sex. He didn't _want_ to take a photo, but he knew if he didn't he'd regret never seeing the image again. He felt like a painter finding inspiration for his masterpiece, wanting to capture the eternal essence of beauty. It was only his brain that told him he shouldn't have, both for her and for his peace, but his heart remained quiet in silent approval when questioned. He didn't know why this hurt so much; she was only a friend, albeit a _good_ one, but just that before yesterday. He wasn't in love with her. But somewhere within him something felt like screaming in anger and sadness ' _This isn't fair_!'.

Edward sat down at the edge of the bed; he couldn't leave without saying goodbye no matter what. For her modesty, he brought up the blanket to cover her torso. The returning smile almost made him fold, but his love for his son was much too strong. He couldn't jeopardize Alex's tentative happiness.

"Bella," Edward whispered, and when her eyelids fluttered slightly, he repeated her name but with a stronger voice this time. This time, her coffee brown eyes opened fully; he saw joy, then confusion, and finally acceptance course through her eyes. It pricked at his heart.

"You're leaving?" Bella whispered hoarsely. Unwillingly, Edward nodded. "Why?"

He gave her the same excuses he'd given himself.

"Because Alex is my everything, and you're his first real friend. I can't take that away from him. And…" Edward shrugged in defeat. "Being with me would be to ask you to be his mother. I don't think that's something I should be asking of someone so young."

Bella blinked owlishly. It was unnerving how clear of expression her face was.

"I see. You think so little of me, then." Bella said, clutching the blanket to her chest as she slowly sat up. Edward tried saying something, but Bella's look stopped him. "I wish you'd have thought of that before you slept with me. _I_ did, but it seems like we came to different conclusions."

Bella sighed, and her usual genuine or polite smiles were nowhere to be seen. Edward never thought he'd be on the receiving end of such a cold look, much like the one she'd given Mike when he'd intruded on their breakup.

"I'm sorry, Bella."

She wouldn't look him in the eye.

"Yeah, I know. Everyone always is, but they still go ahead and hurt you," Bella licked her dry lips. "Just… please go, Edward. I'll forget about this. I promise I won't leave Alex."

 _But you will leave_ me _?_ Edward thought, unrightfully wounded. He was the one who couldn't do this; he shouldn't ask her for anything, and still she was giving him everything.

He got up from the edge of the bed, took in what a mess the bedroom was. Last night had been filled with passion and pleasure. He looked down at Bella, who was hugging her legs to her chest. She wasn't looking at him.

"If I tell you I don't regret last night, will it make any difference?" Edward mumbled. Bella seemed to tighten up further.

"Not to me," she lied. "Edward, please. I'll be there tomorrow to pick up Alex, as promised, but can you just… leave?"

Heart torn, Edward nodded even if she couldn't see him.

"Alright. See you tomorrow, Bella."

Then he left, not looking back because he was sure he wouldn't like the scene he'd left behind.

From her spot, Bella felt a tickling in her nose. Somehow, it augmented when she heard the front door open and close.

Weird. She didn't think her allergies should be acting up.

-.-

 _"Happy birthday Bells!"_ Alice screeched into the phone, making Bella smile lightly. No matter how many times Bella told Alice she hated her birthday, the girl would never let up. _"I was gonna go over to your place at the ass-crack of dawn, but you know, you'd have hated me and I can't have my best girl hating on me, so I restrained until midday. So, I was thinking food and spa? How 'bout it?"_

Bella wanted so badly to say no, but this was her best friend. She wanted time, though, to be by herself.

 _"How's it sound after two? This birthday girl wants to laze around."_

Alice chuckled.

 _"Fine, you sloth. I'll be there at two on the dot—"_ An incoming call interrupted Alice.

"Wait, sorry, give me a moment Al. I've got another call. Let me see who it is," Bella apologized, pulled her phone away and saw the name on the screen. She frowned. "Al, I'm gonna have to call you back."

 _"Is everything ok?"_

"I hope so," Bella said, ending the call and answering the other. "Hello?"

Sniffling.

 _"B-Bella? Dear, is that you?"_

Instantly, Bella was on edge. She didn't remember the last time she heard Sue Clearwater cry, and she was sure that's because she'd never seen it happen. Sue could cry tears of laughter, but sadness had never been a cause as it so clearly was now.

"Sue? What's wrong? Is everything ok?" Bella asked worriedly, all other problems flying out the window.

 _"Oh, honey. He…"_ the sniffling intensified. _"Harry's dead!"_

No. Oh, no. Bella felt the ground move beneath her, and she had to sat down on her recently done bed.

"W…What happened?"

 _"Oh, I don't know, honey. The doctors said something about an aneurism, but… God, nobody knew. It was too sudden."_ Sue's crying intensified to the point where Bella heard the phone getting pried from her hands and being answered by her daughter. _"Bella? It's Leah. Um… Laury's on his way here, but… We… We could use you here."_

Leah was also crying; the last time Leah had cried was when Sam, the jerk, divorced her. Of course she would be; her father had just died.

Bella knew she'd have to be there as soon as possible.

"I'll be there in two hours, Leah. Please hold tight."

A sob.

 _"Please."_

The line went dead.

Immediately, Bella pulled out a suitcase, threw in enough clothes for a week along with a black dress and shoes and ran like a bat out of hell from her apartment. As soon as she was in the car, she called Alice.

 _"Hello?"_

"Alice, I'm so sorry to do this to you, but we're gonna have to put off the celebration until next week."

 _"What? Why?"_

"Harry's dead, Al." Bella pronounced solemnly, pulling the phone on bluetooth and putting it on a grip so she could put Waze on. She heard her friend's gasp.

 _"Oh shit Bella, I'm so sorry. What happened?"_

"Aneurism, Sue said. He was their whole world, Al. The three of them are probably gonna be destroyed." Bella said sadly, not thinking of how much the man had meant to _her_. Right now she needed to drive, and if she let herself think too much about how she felt and _why_ she was driving she would crumble. "I'm gonna stay with them as long as I can to help them sort things out. And you know, sorry if you need me and I don't answer. You know I don't do it on purpose."

Alice nodded on her end. She was aware of how Bella usually turned her phone off during times of crisis or during writing sprees.

 _"Don't worry about me, B. You just tell me you got there safely and when you come back, alright?"_ Alice blew her a kiss. _"Then we'll have cake."_

Bella and Alice exchanged goodbyes and then they hung up.

At the first stoplight she made, Bella set up the music and Waze. Then time was up, and it wasn't until the next light she made that she could send Edward a quick text:

 **Sorry but I can't go tomorrow. Tell Alex I'm sorry. —B**

Then she turned off all notifications while she drove, not wanting them to pop up as she tried seeing which turns were more convenient. She drove madly, not wanting to waste another second of being with the Clearwater family.

* * *

"Oh Bella, I'm so glad you made it!" Sue cried the moment Bella screeched into the house's driveway. Only three cars were there, and Bella imagined they'd had to shoo away friends.

"Of course. I wouldn't be anywhere else, Sue," Bella whispered, hugging the older woman so tightly she thought she'd break something. This didn't matter: Sue needed the anchor.

"You should've come back more often, you silly girl, instead of just sending all those gifts. Harry never wanted a new fishing rod more than he wanted to see _you_ ," Sue cried harder, making the guilt pile up on Bella's heart.

Face filled with agony, Bella held her foster mother tightly.

"I thought I was doing the right thing, Sue. I intruded on your family for too long," Bella whispered. Sue huffed, pulling away angrily from Bella's arms. The woman put her hand on her hips and glared.

"You _are_ family, Bella Swan. Why do you think you're here?" Sue demanded to know, but Bella had no answer, so she just looked down. "Come on. Leah and Laury are in the living room."

Heart grieving, Bella followed the widow into the old house, stopping in the living room's entrance when she saw Leah and Laurent were already waiting for her at the very entrance.

"Bella," Leah said, her voice so broken it was strange to think of it as hers. "You're finally here, you idiot."

"We missed you, sister," Laurent said, and though he didn't cry, his face told her enough to know how the man felt.

"I missed you too," Bella said honestly. Her nose tickled again. "I should've come back. I…" Bella swallowed hard, shaking her head to herself. This wasn't about her, but she needed to say it. "I over-thought my place in this family. I shouldn't have."

They didn't think twice over the lack of 'I'm sorry'. They knew she didn't say it when it counted most, because she thought it wouldn't make up for anything. She was right; sorry meant shit when you didn't want to hear it.

"Dad missed you so much," Leah choked out. "He always got so excited when you called him on Sundays."

Strangely enough, Bella also felt her throat closing up.

"I…" Bella bit down hard on her bottom lip. "I can only tell you two how much I'll miss Harry. He… He saved me."

Laurent gave her a kind smile.

"Belle, he saved _us_."

Laurent had been abandoned in the US by his French parents when he was only six years old. He'd been found, alone, in a mall; when the social worker had placed him with the Clearwater family the trio had been so fond of the boy that they'd decided to formally adopt him, and so Laurent Clearwater had become a true member of their clan. But then along came Bella, about sixteen, and she _hated_ everyone. It was tough on Harry and Sue, but they persisted in getting her to lessen her anger, in trying to make her get along with their daughter. Laurent had already been twenty-six, divorced and with a five year old kid, so she'd only seen him on holidays, and Leah had been about to enter college, so she'd had other concerns. Then her anger had simmered down, and in the Clearwater family she'd found something as close to a family as she could ever find.

But they didn't offer to adopt her, and she didn't ask.

"He did," Bella whispered, remembering how when she started paying attention in Church the older man would sneak into her room to drop off morning prayers he thought would help her.

"He would've adopted you," Sue said, startling the trio. Confused, Bella watched as the worn out woman approached them; she grabbed Bella's hands in her warm ones. Her sad gaze still had its usual sprinkle of kindness. "He wanted to, but he thought you'd say no. I think it was his biggest regret. I mean… He saw Leah leave that douchebag, he saw Laurent have a child and find love again. But he never saw _you_ , his daughter, fulfilled. Oh, he was proud of your writing, but you felt so far from us, dear. He never knew if you were truly happy."

Again with the choking feeling.

"Sue…" Bella squeaked out. "If Harry had asked, I would've said yes. I never asked because… Well, I thought if he didn't ask, it was a sign that he didn't want me."

Leah sighed sadly.

"Bella, you were his daughter just as much as Laury or me. You're our _sister_ , aren't you? Maybe not on paper, but do you see any other Clearwater here?"

Bella glanced back at the siblings, and Laurent had the tearful Leah in his arms, both of them looking at Bella with love and sadness in their eyes. She turned back to look at Sue, and she saw the same look.

"I…" Bella gasped out, feeling as her cheeks were stained with water. Water? Were those… tears? She didn't dry them. " _I love you_. I loved Harry, and I love you Sue, and Leah and Laury. Because of the four of you I am who I am, how could I _not_?"

And though Bella tried, she couldn't stop the tears from falling. It was too much, and eventually, all four of them sat down on the floor and wailed their pain out. Sue cried for her lost husband and love of her life, Leah and Laurent for their dead father. Bella cried for Harry's life, for her adoptive family's pain, for her _own_ pain in this terrible loss. She cried because Edward's departure in the morning _had_ crushed her spirit a little, and his words of goodbye had made her feel as inadequate as ever. She cried because deep down a part of her had always felt a little broken over being unable to cry, and the feeling had doubled when she hadn't been able to cry over Mike's departure. She cried because she realized sometimes heartbreak wasn't greater than grief, and that if anyone deserved her tears it was Harry. She cried because after so many years of drought she didn't know how to stop herself from crying.

The Clearwaters, in the back of their head, also cried because they thanked God that Bella had finally, in their six years together, let go of the tears she'd built up for so long.

* * *

"Aunt Leah! Aunt Bella!" Seth Clearwater ran up the stairs of the worn down house a bit past six in the afternoon, almost tackling to the ground his father's sisters. Seth was an incredibly pretty boy, having Laurent's skin tone and smile with Irina's ice blue eyes; every time he arrived to see his grandparents they would fuss over him, and though Leah and Bella were no exception, they also were a bit more quiet in their appraisal. The two women smiled through their tears at the eleven-year-old boy, pulling back only long enough to see the boy's face.

"Hey Seth," Leah said, bending down to ruffle the kid's hair.

"Long time no see, nephew," Bella sniffled; the day had been long and she'd found herself to have a hard time not crying. It felt like now that her body had remembered how to cry, it was all it knew anymore how to do. Seth, ever the affectionate kid, hugged both aunts.

"Dad says you skipped out on the 4th of July party," Seth accused, making Bella flush with embarrassment.

"Oh, he's a _liar_ , that one. I didn't skip out, I just couldn't get there because I had plans already with another friend." Ex-boyfriend, same difference.

"Dad! Aunt Bella says you're a liar!" Seth called back, and offended, Bella grabbed Seth by the waist and lifted him up like a sack of potatoes. She transported him just inside the house.

"You tattle-tale!" Bella gasped in mock outrage, laughing as she heard Laurent complain about the unfair adjective. He was helping unload from the trunk some of Seth's things; Seth would be staying in Laurent's old room, wanting to spend time with Grandma and his aunts. Laurent thought his own kid was a bit too quick to dismiss his own parents, but then again, his sisters and mother _were_ right up Seth's alley. He couldn't blame the kid, too, given that Bella was his favorite aunt (sorry Leah) and he rarely got to see her.

"I'm not!"

Seth struggled down, standing up with all the triumph his eleven-year-old body could muster.

"You _are_! Now go help your dad unload. I want to say hi to your mom, alright?" Bella said, and she instantly saw how his face scrunched up a bit. "What's wrong?"

She might not have seen Seth often, but he had a natural attachment to Bella, she felt. He was always quick to share his feelings, and today was no exception.

"Mom said I can only have one mother, and that I _have_ to choose her." Seth said sadly, beautiful blue eyes downcast; Bella wanted to yell something at Irina, but the woman hadn't stepped foot in this house for at least five years. Yelling would do no one any good. "But that's not fair to my step-mom, is it?"

Bella pursed her lips, crouching down to Seth's level.

"You know how lucky you are? Some people don't even have one mom, and you've got _two_ , you know? Call me crazy, but I think you should be allowed to keep both, right?" Bella smiled, her lips widening when she saw the kid nod obediently. "Both of your moms love you a lot. Be sure to treasure the two, alright?"

Seth nodded again, feeling a lighter heart. He didn't want to hurt either one, and he'd have to if he chose one,

"Now go help your father while I go say hi, ok?" Seth ran off, and Bella walked after him feeling glad to be of some help to the boy she'd known since he was five. Slowly, she walked back out to the porch, where she saw a blond head peeking out from behind a huge box.

"Oh fuck, I'm gonna drop the box, oh fuck oh fuck oh—"

Bella helped catch said box.

The duo lowered it to the ground, and behind it Bella found Tanya Clearwater's lovely, relieved face.

"Oh, Bella! I'm so glad to see you!" Tanya smiled widely, her pearly white teeth matching her pearly white face. It was a stark contrast to Laurent's dark locks and skin, but truthfully, it was also a good thing; Tanya was totally different from Irina, but the coloring was so similar people didn't usually question where Seth came from. "We missed you at the 4th of July party."

Bella giggled.

"I know, your son already judged me for that." Bella divulged, huffing out a bit of air when Tanya suddenly tackled her with a hug.

"It's been too long, Belle," Tanya said, and Bella had to admit she'd never minded how Tanya used the same nickname for her that Laurent did. "We really did miss you on the 4th, and Laurent will never say it but he was quite upset when you didn't show up for New Years Eve."

Bella felt a pang of guilt.

"Oh, I didn't mean to. I really _did_ get food poisoning; I'm pretty sure it's because I ate raw cookie dough, but if I said that to Laury he'd kill me." Laurent was a chef, and he'd taught Bella everything she knew. He also hated how much she relied on pre-made dough when she could've done it herself. "As for the 4th... I had plans with Mike."

Tanya pulled away to show Bella her scrunched up face.

"Oh, how _is_ that walking metronome?"

Bella laughed. Tanya had met Mike _once_ and she'd made her displeasure clear.

"We broke up." Bella admitted, and she laughed again at Tanya's lit up eyes. "Actually, _he_ broke up with _me_."

Tanya's face did a 360 and suddenly she looked furious.

"That fucking _asshole_!"

"Dad! Mom said a bad word!" Seth accused, pointing at his step-mother with a mock-offended glare. He'd been nearer to the car than to Bella and Tanya, who were halfway to the porch.

"Tanya..." Laurent poked his head out from behind the front door, squinting at his wife. "What have we talked about?"

Tanya gave Seth the stink eye, who stuck his tongue out, and called back to her husband.

"Only special situations! And guess what? This was one!" Tanya pointed at Bella, who was looking at the couple with amusement. " _Mike_ broke up with her!"

Laurent was out from behind the door and beside his adoptive sister in the blink of an eye.

"Motherfucker," Laurent breathed out, grabbing Bella's forearms. "He did what?"

"Mom! Dad said a bad word!"

"We fucking know!" Tanya and Laurent snapped back at the same time, and Seth's shocked face was so precious that the adults had no choice but to burst out laughing. Bella laughed so hard her stomach hurt, and when she looked up, she saw the husband and wife were using each other as support. The butt of the joke had gone back to the house, huffing at being basically laughed at.

"You two are insane," Bella gave a last couple of chuckled, dabbing at her eye where a couple of tears had slipped. Crying from laughing wasn't weird for her, but it was usually just a few tears.

"Oh, you wouldn't have us any other way," Tanya winked, finally calming down. She had one of Laurent's arms wrapped around her, leaning her head against his chest. Being the bombshell that she was, Tanya also happened to be about 5 ft 8 to Laurent's 6 ft 1. They looked like a couple of models.

"So, tell me about this breakup," Laurent finally said, resting his chin on Tanya's shoulder. "Should I go knock some heads around?"

Smiling, Bella shook her head no and waved off the proposition.

"It's old news. We broke up in July, like a week after the 4th. He said he'd lost interest in me, and before you jump—" Bella stopped the imminent rant. "I'm ok. I realized I didn't like him all that much, either, so I'm ok with how things ended. Truly."

Tanya and Laurent shared a look, and it was clear they were deciding whether or not they believed the younger woman. Bella wasn't one to lie, but she _was_ one to undermine her feelings, so this left them a very wide gap of unhealthy suspicion.

"You sure?" Laurent squinted, as if he could drag the truth out of Bella just by looking. Truthfully, he could; in the very beginning of her stay with the Clearwater family Laurent had stayed home to make sure Bella didn't mean anyone any harm. She hadn't, even in the height of her anger, but she'd understood his need to protect those he loved. He'd stayed there home a month, and every time Bella had stayed out partying, hidden anything from Sue or skipped school Laurent had been able to tell.

Bella nodded.

"Yeah, I mean... I kinda," Bella blushed, suddenly unable to look straight into his eyes. "Uh, like somebody else."

Their eyes lit up.

"Oh, you do? Where'd you meet? Is he nice? No, is he funny? Tell me he's funny, or at the very least has a six pack," Tanya barreled on excitedly, making her husband chuckle and her kinda sister-in-law blush bright red. "Bella?"

Bella looked down at her feet.

"Um, this is awkward to admit, but... He doesn't like me that way. I thought he did, but he said—" Bella let out a shaky breath, feeling incredibly embarrassed over how shaky her voice was. "Um, but today he let me know his son comes first. He... seems to think I'm too young or something, and that he'd be 'saddling' me with a kid."

Outraged, Tanya started shitting on the guy she didn't even know, not needing to if it hurt a person as lovely as Bella. She started flailing her arms around, which her husband quickly caught. She resisted.

"Are you sure he doesn't like you that way?" Laurent asked, as always a bit more cautious than his wife in passing judgement.

Bella nodded. Her heart felt tight.

"Edward was pretty clear that he didn't like me enough to take a chance with me."

Tanya abruptly stopped resisting.

"Did you just say Edward? And he has a son?" Frowning, Bella nodded. "Tall? Red headed? Mouth of a sailor and shit at math? His kid is like an angry chinchilla?"

Confused, and certainly not knowing about the math thing, Bella nodded slowly.

"Edward. Edward Cullen?"

Nervously, Bella turned to Laurent, who looked quite pale.

"What? Is he your ex or something?"

Tanya's eyes couldn't grow any wider. Horror painted her face.

"No, Bella, that's fucking disgusting. He's my _brother_."

Shit.

* * *

 **Damn, this chapter's even longer than the last. Am I great or what? No, I'm not fishing for compliments. ;) Thank you so much for all the support. I hope that you bear with me through these curveballs; believe it or not, I'm holding myself back from other plot lines that would be even more 'WTF'ing. I also found it super funny that after I'd finished writing this there was a comment speculating that their relationship would move slowly. Folks, I'm always one step ahead. ;)) Anyway, I hope that even if you're shocked by the turn of events you'll still remain hooked for the next chapter. Hihi. Thanks for reading!**

 **Leah.**


	4. Never Gonna Give You Up Boy

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

* * *

 _"Hi, this is Bella, either I couldn't get to the phone or I lost it again. Leave a message after the beep!"_

Frowning, Edward hung up. It was Monday afternoon already and he still had no answer from Bella. Either she'd blocked him or she'd turned off her phone, but neither of these options made sense. He didn't know why Bella had cancelled on him yesterday despite having agreed to not break off her friendship with Alex. Yesterday, when he'd gone to pick up his kid, the disappointment had been palpable about not seeing Bella. When Alex asked why Bella had cancelled, Edward told him she'd sounded sick on the phone, and that they would visit when Bella gave them the ok.

He'd called her about eleven times already, and he was getting increasingly worried that this wasn't a matter of avoiding him but that something had happened to her. She lived alone, after all, and she was a successful author; too many things could happen. Edward eventually worried so much about Bella that he closed shop a little early and made his way to Bella's apartment.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Cullen," Jack greeted when Edward came in.

"Hi Jack. How's it going?" Jack smiled back, tipping his hat.

"Good, thank you. Here to see Ms. Brandon?" Confused, but forgetting the doorman always called Bella by her real last name, he nodded. "Very well. Go right up, Mr. Cullen." Jack let Edward in past the doors, and thanking him, Edward hurried inside. The ride up the elevator seemed eternal, but when he finally arrived in Bella's floor level he hurried over to ring the doorbell.

 _Ding-dong!_

Nothing.

 _Ding-dong!_

Nothing again.

He rang the bell one more time just in case, and this time the door opened. An angry-looking Alice opened the door, who lightened her expression when she realized who it was.

"Oh, hi Edward. What's up? What brings you around here?" She opened the door wider, letting in the older man. Confused, Edward realized that everything seemed pretty much untouched from Friday night. Alice sat on the couch's armrest, and Edward decided to remain standing; he didn't think Bella would want him using her furniture, with how they'd left things.

"Uh, is Bella home?" He asked, and he saw Alice's expression return his confusion.

"What do you mean? Didn't she tell you?" Edward shook his head. "That's weird. I would've thought you'd know, given..." her smile grew so wide Edward swore she'd crack her face in half. "The _used condom_ I noticed in her trash can."

Edward's face flamed such bright red he swore he'd pass out from how it all concentrated on his skin. Alice laughed so hard she slipped from the armrest and onto the couch.

"So, it _was_ you. Good, it would've been a drag if it had been someone else banging Bella," Alice shuddered, grinning wickedly to herself. "Name of her sex tape."

Edward felt they were getting off track.

"Uh, Alice, is Bella ok? She hasn't been returning my calls—"

Alice waved him off.

"Oh, don't even try. She turned it off on Saturday," Alice said, and then her face took a grim look to it. "Her foster care father died. The last one, Harry. He meant a lot to her, and on Saturday she got the call that he'd passed away. I imagine she's with his family now."

Edward paled.

"On... Saturday?"

Alice nodded sadly.

"I know, right? On her birthday, too. I feel terrible for her."

On. Her fucking. _Birthday_.

If somebody pulled all his teeth out right then and there, he'd deserve it.

"You ok? You look a little green there, Ed." Alice said worriedly, cocking her head to the side. "Wanna sit down?"

Edward shook his head.

"I didn't know it was her birthday on Saturday," Edward admitted, feeling sick to his stomach.

Alice rolled her eyes.

"No one ever knows. Bella never tells anyone, hardly ever lets me celebrate. She…" Alice grimaced, recalling their previous life together. "She says no one ever celebrated it. That until I was old enough to remember it was her birthday, which was like when I turned nine, nobody had ever even made her a cake. She had a rough life in the system, but an even harder one before that," Alice said, and seemed to be about to say something else when she abruptly shut her mouth. "Sorry, maybe I shouldn't have told you. Bella hates it when I divulge too much about her."

Edward frowned; he couldn't help himself from asking.

"Why?"

Alice pursed her lips and shrugged lightly.

"Dunno. I think she's not used to thinking about herself as someone worthy of pride," Alice admitted. "I think she deserves the world, but when you're so used to being told you're nothing, it's kinda hard to believe anyone who would tell you otherwise. Heaven knows I've tried for years telling her all I love about her, but… More than a fragile self-esteem, she has a non-existent one."

Edward was officially the biggest dick in the world. _I see. You think so little of me, then._ That's all Bella had said of his confessions, and perhaps now he understood a bit better. He'd unilaterally decided he wanted her, and then had also unilaterally decided she couldn't handle his treasure. He'd dealt her one blow after another and had all but high-tailed it out of there. Instead of facing his actions head on, he'd run like a coward and left Bella to deal with everything from then on. It hurt to think that he was so senseless on a day she didn't like, and that had he stayed longer, he might've been there to help her digest the news of her foster father's family. It was clear how little Edward knew about Bella —virtually nothing next to what she knew of him— but also how badly he wanted to find out everything that was missing. Now he saw the extent of his mistake —how he should've thought through more the moments that led them up to having sex, the way he reacted the next morning. He wondered with a heavy heart if his forgiveness was even deserved; he'd chickened out, completely so, and had probably not helped with what would already be a terrible day.

"Alice, I need to go. Can you… tell Bella to text me when she's back? I really want to see her." Edward mumbled, but instead of a dismissive response, he got skepticism.

"I can see that look in your eye, dude. Stop it. Bella's fine, she's not broken, and she needs no saving. Who you see now is who Bella really is —she doesn't see herself as a victim, and she'd hate it if she thought you saw her as one. She got a shit hand; she cleaned it off. Don't try to be a hero when she doesn't need one." Alice huffed, hitting the nail on the head a little bit. She _was_ kind of right, much as it pained him to admit, but…

"It's not about that. I just… really fucked up on Saturday. I already knew I had, but with what you're telling me I can see how bad it was."

Alice squinted her eyes furiously, abruptly standing on top of the couch so she'd be eye-level with Edward. She just barely made it.

"What did you _do_ to her?" Alice went from annoyed to pissed in a matter of milliseconds, which gave Edward a little bit of whiplash; she was a little spitfire, and he knew he'd have to be careful. He, however, was a stubborn man who was not as open with everyone as he was with Bella. Really, from day one things had been unusual with that woman.

"Some things are not mine to tell you, Alice. I don't think you'd want to hear it from me," Edward said honestly. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get going. Thanks for letting me in."

Alice scowled.

"If I'd known you'd hurt Bella I wouldn't have, you fucking dick." Alice bit out, feeling like she'd been used against her own best friend. "What did you _do_?"

Edward crossed his arms in front of his chest, and in that moment Alice remembered she was speaking to a man thirteen years older whose hands could probably crush her jaw if he so wished. She didn't personally know this man enough to feel safe with him; all she knew was the Edward through Bella's eyes, and she could make even the devil sound nice.

Alice averted her eyes.

"I hurt her feelings," Edward said, all too conscious of how he shouldn't be alone in a room with a teenager, no matter how unattractive she was to him. Not just for her sake, but for his; he sighed. "Look, I really _do_ need to go. Alex is due back from school any moment and I need to make him dinner."

He took a step back, and though Alice tried not to, she let out a breath of relief. It stung Edward a bit, but he couldn't fault her; Tanya had often told him how scary his face could seem to someone who didn't know him. Something about a resting bitch face, she'd said, whatever that meant.

"If you can't fix it, you better stay away from Bella," Alice said, getting down from the couch; Edward let his arms fall to his side, sighing.

"I intend to try, but whether or not I'll get a chance is up to Bella, isn't it?" Edward watched as Alice walked to the front door and opened it, then followed.

She rolled her eyes.

"You fool no one, buddy. You've got the talk, and she'll let you do the walk." She opened the door wider and Edward stepped through it. "Tell that son of yours I said hi."

Then the door closed.

* * *

Tuesday was morose.

The Church was filled to the brim with Harry Clearwater's old friends, co-workers and family members. Sue couldn't stop crying through the whole service, so she declined to give a speech; Leah was in pretty much the same condition, and Laurent didn't want to talk. Bella offered to speak, and no one in the family objected. She'd be the only one to talk, and it was appropriate, given the great writer that she was.

"Thank you all for coming," Bella began, addressing all the churchgoers. "For those of you who don't know me, I'm Bella Swan. Harry and Sue welcomed me into their family when I was sixteen, which as you know, is not an easy age. I…" Bella swallowed hard, looking at the front row towards the family that meant so much to her. "I was an awful kid. Angry, rebellious, disrespectful. I thought I could shake off my foster care family, but you all know the Clearwaters. Stubbornness and kindness are their best traits. Harry had so much love inside of him he gave _me_ a chance, and I don't know how you pay back someone for saving you. He was kind, and gentle, and just a _little_ bit annoying," Bella smiled back at the chuckles that flittered through the room. "But he broke through to me. He gave me a family even though all I gave him was trouble. He… He was a father to me, a light, a savior. A friend. I'm sure this resonates within all of you, because no matter where he went, Harry was a friend and a joy to be around. Except when he went fishing, because he smelled _awful_." Even Sue laughed while crying, knowing this line was for her; she'd always scolded Harry every time he came back for smelling so bad. "Harry was love. Love is gentle, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. This was Harry Clearwater; to Sue, to Leah, to Laurent, to Seth and to me. He was this to all of you, therefore, I cannot call him anything other than 'love'. Thank you."

It wasn't until Bella was watching the dirt hit the casket that she felt the gut-wrenching emptiness of losing Harry, and she started crying. Silently at first, but when she saw Laurent's tears, she had no choice but to join Sue and Leah in their wailing. How could she have thought she'd only ever loved Alice? She loved this family enough to feel the pain of every member as her own. She couldn't quantify how much she loved them, or if she loved Alice more than them or not, but even in the face of tragedy she felt her world expanding. She felt as the love that had eluded her for so long fill her from the tips of her toes to the top of her head and the bitterness over not having a blood-related family leave her. She felt the warmth from Sue and Leah's hands clasping hers, the warmth from Laurent's hand on her shoulder as the other locked with Tanya's fingers. She saw Seth crying as he hugged his grandmother, the loss of his grandfather finally hitting him. In that moment, Bella swore to herself she'd never think of herself as an outsider again.

She was part of their family, and nobody could ever change that.

-.-

"I'm so sorry that we have to go back already, Sue," Tanya sniffled, and Seth echoed the sentiment with a furious nod of his head.

Eyes swollen, Sue shook her head.

"No, Seth shouldn't miss any more school. Harry would be furious if he knew Seth had missed so many days already," Sue said, smiling down at her grandson. "Grandpa was a grouch when it came to school, wasn't he?"

Bella and Seth dutifully nodded. They'd both been at the receiving end of an infamous tell-off for skipping school. Bella, because she'd skipped school to get high with some friends; Seth, because he'd faked being sick so he could watch movies with Aunt Bella on a school day. Seth had always liked staying Sunday nights with his grandparents, back when they'd lived closer; then Bella graduated high school and moved out, and Laurent opened a restaurant far away enough that they had to move. Bella missed those days of hanging out with her nephew, and she now knew she could be more forward in wanting to see him. After all, Laurent only lived half an hour away from Bella's.

"Yeah, plus he has a project due tomorrow and he only told us yesterday," Tanya said, looking down at her stepson with an unamused face. "So he needs to get home to work."

Seth pouted, looking up at his grandmother and aunt with a pitiful face. Leah was inside the house with Laurent washing up the dishes from lunch.

"But I want to stay with _you_ , grandma," Seth whined, then cutting a look to his aunt. He laid the guilt on thick. "Plus, it's only _here_ that I get to see Aunt Bella."

Bella laughed at the cheekiness, ruffling the young boy's hair.

"Tell you what. You get home and present a masterful project, and you're invited Sunday night at my place for a sleepover, alright?"

Seth's eyes lit up so fast it was clear he wasn't even going to stop to ask if she was for real.

"Come _on_ , mom! I've gotta get home!" Seth flew off to the car, and laughing, the three women watched the scene fondly.

"Well, I'll go get that son of mine to see you off. Thank you for coming, dear," Sue kissed Tanya's cheeks, who gave the older woman a sad smile.

"Of course I did, you silly woman." Sue walked off after blowing her grandson a kiss and giving a last hug to her daughter-in-law.

Sighing, Tanya sat down on the stairs to the porch, and after tapping the stair next to her in silence, Bella sat down too. The two women stared at the silly child who was sticking his nose to the window.

"I know right now's not quite the time to talk about it, but I need to get this off my chest," Tanya said, turning to look at Bella. "Edward is my one and only little brother. I love him more than I love anything in this life, probably second only to Seth. Laurent knows I'd take a bullet for my brother before I took one for him, which is not to say I wouldn't take one for Laurent. That's just the way my parents raised us to be. His ex-wife… she didn't get that. She hurt our relationship by spreading lies about me and stopping us from spending time together. I never want someone to get in between our relationship again."

Bella nodded; she understood the sentiment in theory, even if not in practice.

Tanya sighed.

"Sorry, I just needed to get that off my chest. I know you're nothing like her, but I worry. He… he's been deeply hurt by his ex. She made him question his worth, from his job to his capacity as a father. I haven't seen my brother be as happy as he's been the last month, and I guess I know why now. You're good for him, Bella. He…" she chewed on her bottom lip, looking into the kind eyes of the girl beside her. Her voice dropped down to a whisper. "He's worth it. Please don't give up on him. You're what he needs, and something inside of me knows he's what _you_ want."

Bella cocked her head to the side.

"But he doesn't want _me_ , Tanya. I can't do anything about that."

Tanya flattened her lips.

"Oh, so he rejected you _once_ ," Tanya rolled her eyes; she'd grilled Bella enough that she'd gotten the basic details of what had happened, and then the girl had fled to her room with a face so red that it could rival a firetruck. "That happens, doll. Didn't you say yesterday perseverance was one of Harry's best traits? You could try it, ya know."

Bella pursed her lips in thoughtfulness.

"That's if you _want_ my brother, you know. If you don't, then there's no need for this talk. And just so you know…" Tanya shrugged, looking back at her husband, who was walking out of the house. "I rejected this hunk about four times before I agreed to go on a date with him. He used to scare me, back when I didn't know about his doll collection."

Laurent frowned, catching the end of the conversation.

"Star Wars figurines are not _dolls_." He huffed, making the two women chuckle. "Now, you've got to get going if you want to get home before it gets dark."

Sighing in mock-annoyance, Tanya stood up. Bella followed.

"If I'd known he would be so bossy, I'd have dated someone a little more like Mike," Tanya said, making Laurent frown and Bella giggle in disbelief.

"You found yourself the best man out there," Laurent asserted, grabbing his wife by the waist. In the car, Seth had doubled down on sticking his nostrils _and_ tongue to the window. "I don't believe you if you say otherwise."

Bella smiled at the interaction, then looked away when they kissed goodbye. She caught Seth's disgusted face, and together, they made a face that spelled 'yuck' at the PDA.

"I saw that," Laurent mumbled, pulling away from his wife. He gave her cheek another kiss. "I'll be back on Sunday at the latest."

Tanya nodded sadly.

"See you soon, Belle," Tanya said, pulling Bella in for a hug. "Think about what I said, 'kay?"

Bella nodded.

"I will. Thanks, Tanya."

Tanya pulled away, and with another kiss for her husband, the blond beauty got in the car and pulled out of the driveway, heading home.

"You found yourself a nice wife there, Laury," Bella said, hands on her hips as she saw the back of the car disappear.

"I really did," Laurent said, arms crossed over his chest. He looked down at his sister. "You should think about what she said, Belle. I know Edward, and he's a good guy. Not as good as you, but then again, no one is."

Bella blushed, feeling her heart warming.

"You matchmaker."

Smiling, the two went back into the house.

* * *

Sunday evening, Edward got a call. He was balancing the shop's books though, so without looking at the caller ID he answered distractedly.

"Hello?"

 _"Edward? Hi, it's Bella."_

And… the books were balanced well enough.

"Bella? Hi, how… how are you?" Edward was suddenly much too conscious of their last interaction, and closing his laptop he sat back against the bed-frame. He used the desk the minimum amount possible, finding it more comfortable to work from the bed. "I heard from Alice about your foster father. I'm very sorry for your loss."

 _"Oh, right, I got her text. She said you swung by on Monday?"_ Bella asked, and Edward said he had. _"Sorry for not telling you more. I was in a rush to go and forgot to explain a bit before going off the grid. I should've, but… well."_

There was an awkward pause, and Edward was quick to break it.

"Are you back home?"

 _"That's what I was calling you about. My nephew is coming over in like an hour for a sleepover. Think Alex would like to join?"_

There was much to question about that statement.

"Nephew?" Bella replied that it was the son of her adoptive brother. "How old is he? Think Alex will get along with him?"

Cryptically, Bella said she did. That the nephew was a sweetheart and just about Alexander's age. Hesitantly, Edward told Bella he'd ask Alex and get back to her in a few minutes. Agreeing, the two hung up.

Edward knocked on Alex's door before poking his head in; his son was looking at a piece of sheet music with furrowed brows, looking like he was trying beyond reason to understand what it read. He still had difficulty with reading music sometimes, and from what Edward could see, it was a very difficult piece.

"Alex?" The boy looked up, startled at the intrusion; Edward stepped into the room. "Bella called. She said if you want to you're invited to a sleepover at her place. But…" he stopped his son before he got too excited, needing to get out the last part of information. "She said that her nephew's also staying over. He's about your age, she said. What do you say?"

It took him about ten seconds longer to nod furiously, having probably weighed the pros and cons of meeting a new boy.

" _Please_ dad, can I go?" He asked, looking livelier than he had all week. He'd been moping, especially when Seth didn't go to school until Thursday. When Edward had asked his sister what had happened, she'd sent back an emoji of a devilish mask and a middle finger. Whatever that meant.

"Of course. Just make sure you also pack your school bag because you _are_ heading there anyway." It was a testament to Alex's excitement that he didn't even groan and just nodded again excitedly. Edward sighed internally; he was _so_ glad Bella was back. His relationship with Alex was ever-improving, but sometimes it was hard for him to know what he could give his son that would make him happy.

Leaving the ball of energy behind, Edward texted Bella his ok. He got back a smiley face.

-.-

 _Ding-dong!_

"Alex, you're gonna burn a hole through the ground," Edward muttered to his kid, who was rocking on his heels back and forth.

"I can't help it. I'm too excited," Alex admitted, and before Edward had a chance to say anything back the door flung open…

… to reveal his sister, of all people.

 _"Tanya?"_

" _Aunt Tanya?_ " The Cullen boys let their jaws drop, not expecting the blonde beauty in front of them. She wore a smug smile, especially when she saw Edward's eyes train on something behind her.

"Is that… Seth?" Edward restrained from pointing. Already, Alex was inside the apartment and bumping fists with Seth, neither caring the how of their meeting.

"Yup. Imagine my surprise when I found out that Laurent's sister was bumping uglies with _you_. _I_ was surprised, she was horrified. Even tried running when she realized," Tanya grinned smugly. "See ya later Fuckward. _Bye Bella! Thanks for everything! And you behave, Seth, or tomorrow's dinner will be made by me!_ " Tanya called back. A groan succeeded her words, and after winking at her slack-jawed brother, she left.

Bella was coming out of the bathroom when their eyes met.

"Bella! I can't believe you know Seth!" Alex said, going up to Bella and giving her a tight hug, which she returned.

"I can't believe _you_ know Aunt Bella," Seth returned to his friend, who stuck his tongue out from his position. "Hey Edward."

"Seth," Edward said in greeting, still getting used to the odd situation. "Long time no see."

"Well, Seth's my nephew, and Alex is my friend," Bella smiled, addressing the two boys fondly before looking up at the frozen man by her door. "Hey Edward. Wanna have dinner with us?"

Eyes flickering towards the two pre-teens, who were already ignoring him, he nodded.

"If it's no trouble."

Bella blew him off.

"No trouble at all. Come on, I made pizza."

The two boys ran to the kitchen when they heard the green light to approach the food, and when Edward turned to look at Bella, he saw she was smiling at the two kids fondly. It was so weird to think this woman was in some way related to Seth Clearwater, his sister's stepson. The first time he'd met Laurent he'd thought he was a man much too serious, but as the meetings had accumulated he'd realized Laurent was simply weary of strangers, as had been Seth. Once it had become clear to the two that the Cullens had the best regard for the father and son, Laurent had relaxed and Seth had become close friends with Alex. To think that in the four years Tanya had been married to Laurent, Edward was only just meeting Bella. Now, looking back, he _did_ remember Laurent sometimes telling stories of his rebellious younger sister. Tanya had always scolded him to stop telling those stories because that wasn't at all who his sister was these days. Apparently, Tanya always invited said sister to family things, but she always ended up being unable to when anyone other than the Clearwaters were meeting. Apparently, Tanya had spent a solid month trying to convince Laurent's youngest sister to go to the 4th of July party, but not even guilting her into it had worked. Tanya had bitched about it a lot, so it had remained in Edward's recent memory.

"Hi Bella," Edward finally greeted, approaching the woman who'd stayed pretty much rooted in place. She was cautiously seeing the older man approach; she didn't move until he was towering over her, the difference in their heights all to stark from her point of view.

"Hey," Bella said, her smile widening with every passing second. Edward pretended not to be utterly confused. "You know, you pretty much exude shame. That's good, at least you know how badly you messed up."

Edward flinched even as hope threatened to invade him.

"You'll let me fix it?"

She was giving him a toothy grin, one that conveyed the strength of her soul and kindness in her eyes.

"Can I stop you?" Edward shook his head profusely. "Then yes. I'd like you to fix it." Bella's smile dimmed a little. "I… I've made too many mistakes to count, and the first man who'd forgiven them all died recently. Giving you a second chance when I've been given a thousand seems like the least I could do to honor him, I think."

Bella rose on her tiptoes, put a hand on his shoulder to drag him down a little and kissed his jaw, which was where she could reach. Pulling back and letting go, she winked.

"Also, I'm not giving up on us. Just letting you know so you can start preparing your heart for me."

Then she skipped away, leaving a stupefied Edward Cullen in her wake.

-.-

"So, you'll drive them to school tomorrow?" Edward asked. He and Bella were saying goodbye, choosing to step out of the apartment to have a moment of privacy. It had taken Edward a while to realize that she was wearing yoga pants and a big-ass shirt from U-Dub, but he was too much of a coward to ask her where she'd gotten that shirt. An ex-boyfriend? A boy friend? Laurent? The question itched inside, but he saw no way of asking.

Bella nodded.

"Tanya already sent me the pin, so I should get there without a problem. Worst case scenario I'm a terrible caretaker and keep them against their will from getting to school," Bella joked, knowing the sacrifice would be inexistent on the boys' behalf. Edward's lip twitched, but he was still too wrapped up in everything to smile.

"Bella… Do you mind if we have lunch tomorrow? My treat. I really think we should talk things out," Edward asked nervously, not sure if he'd have the chance so soon after everything.

Bella's face fell.

"Oh Edward, sorry but tomorrow I can't. I've got a deadline due on Wednesday and I haven't worked all that much the past week, so I've got to make up for lost time. How does lunch on Thursday sound?" Bella asked, and in the span of a sentence Edward's heart fell and lifted enough to make him feel a little nauseous.

"Thursday sounds great."

* * *

Edward was a mess by Thursday.

Alex had made it safely to school on Monday, as evidenced by the picture Bella had sent him of two sullen-looking boys entering the school. After that, Bella had gone off the grid again, but Edward didn't mind it then, knowing this time it was probably because of her writing. However, for all of Monday through Thursday afternoon all he could think about was Bella Swan —what she'd said about not giving up on them, about giving him a second chance, her shirt. It came to the point that he hit the back of his head three times against a doorframe from one of the cars he was fixing and even slipped on a tiny puddle of oil (but was caught by one of his employees). He was distracted, to say the least, so when they managed to meet at a diner near his shop Edward was all too anxious to talk things out. He arrived twenty minutes early, and Bella went in through the front doors at 1 o'clock exactly.

"Bella! Over here!" Edward managed to meet her eyes, and giving him one of her sweet smiles, approached the booth he'd taken. He stood up.

"I love this diner, but I never get to come often. Laziness often gets the best of me," Bella said, leaning over to place a kiss on his cheek. The spot burned. Then Bella sat down in front of him, putting her things to her right.

"How are you? Did you meet the deadline?" Edward asked, handing Bella his menu when he realized the waitress hadn't brought the second one he'd asked for. She really must've thought he'd come in alone and was trying to save face.

"Good, thank you," Bella smiled, opening the menu. "I did, thank God. Rose would've killed me if I missed this deadline."

" _This_ one?"

Bella blushed.

"Um, I'm not good with deadlines. It's just that I work better under pressure, so I usually can't start writing ahead of time. Terrible vice, I know, but I'm working on it I swear." Bella quickly scanned the menu. "What are you getting?"

"Fuck, I wanted _everything_ on there, but I settled for the hamburger and apple pie." Edward admitted, making Bella giggle lightly and nod.

"Well, I _really_ want some chicken soup and… a Cuban sandwich. Mind sharing the apple pie with me?" Bella asked, and immediately saw the struggle on Edward's face. He wanted _so_ badly to say no he was starting to get a little purple, but after a few seconds he started nodding reluctantly. Bella burst out laughing. "Oh my God, anyone would think I asked you for a kidney! Relax, I'm not gonna make you give me any."

Edward mumbled out something crude, picking at the bread they'd brought on the house. He'd never liked sharing his food, but every time Lauren had made a hissy fit about him not giving her any (not that she ever shared with _him_ ); he didn't want to have a fight with Bella over something so silly, but at the same time, it was just how he felt about the food-sharing thing. Still, as was her usual response, Bella had laughed it off, making him feel like the shittiest person on Earth for being selfish with this woman. While he'd been having his inner crisis, Bella had already called the waitress over and ordered her food and drink.

"So," Bella said, losing her smile and staring intently into Edward's eyes. "Tell me what you want to talk about."

Well, where to begin?

"I wanted to apologize properly. The way I reacted on Saturday morning… it was shitty. I _didn't_ think beforehand about the consequences, like you said. I… I might've been wrong, Bella, but not about putting Alex first. He is forever my _first_ priority." Edward said clearly, wanting to convey his train of thought. Bella nodded, understanding as always. "That being said, I know I can have other priorities, but… I don't know how to. I don't know how to _share_ priorities, either. Even when Lauren and I were married it was always pretty much up to me to make sure the household was running smoothly; I never let my parents or my sister step in unless it was things like transport. Bella… it's just been Alex and I against the world for so long I don't know how to let you in, or even worse, what to do if I let you in and you left."

Bella just blinked thoughtfully, processing the words from the man in front of her. He was telling her he was scared of change, telling her his heart wasn't all that open even if it wasn't locked up. Like her, he'd been hurt by the departure of people he loved, and like her, he'd dealt with things by himself. They were sentiments she understood, had perhaps lived through once.

"Edward, you're thinking about a future we haven't reached yet," Bella said gently, covering his hand which he'd made into a fist with hers. They were rough where hers were soft. "Of course you don't know how to deal with all that because we haven't reached that stage of our relationship yet. I wouldn't expect you to make me a priority right now, and I don't _want_ to replace Alex. A lover is a different priority from your children; that's nature. But that's what time is for, isn't it? So we don't have to make sharp turns and can instead ease into it."

The waitress brought Bella's vanilla milkshake and the soup, making Bella break apart from Edward's hand. They missed each other's warmth instantly.

"I just…" Edward sighed frustratedly, staring a hole into Bella's milkshake. "I just don't get what it is you like about me, Bella. I'm a fucking mess. A _boring_ mess, at that."

Bella laughed.

"Well, you're not a clown, I'll give you that much. Neither am I, for what it's worth." Bella said, trying out her soup. It was _so_ good. "But you're far from boring. I mean, you're a mechanic who plays the piano, has a son, and curses like a sailor, or so says Tanya. You're kind, you like teasing me when you're in the mood for it, you even read my books and you're an incredible father. You blow me away with everything you do for Alex; you're the first man I've ever met who makes me think a father is more than a provider, more than a duty. Laurent and Harry did, too, but I can't tell you I'd date them. Harry, my foster care father, made me see what I missed growing up; you make me think of what I wish for my future. _That's_ what I like about you so much."

By the end of her explanation, Edward was beet red. He couldn't believe he'd even asked, much less that he'd gotten such a sincere response.

"Now who's getting ahead of themselves?" Edward muttered, slurping down on his chocolate milkshake. Bella smiled.

"I'm always getting ahead of myself. I'm a dreamer by choice," Bella said, and this made Edward remember one of the things he wanted to talk about.

"About that. You want us to… _advance_ … this relationship, but the truth is we know next to nothing of each other. You rarely talk about yourself, and I can't say there's nothing left for you to find out about me."

Bella nodded.

"Well, I don't really like talking about my past, but I can compromise and slowly tell you about myself if you promise to do the same. You _do_ intrigue me quite a lot." Bella gave him a sly smile, and Edward swore for a moment his heart would stop. She was a temptress, he was sure of it.

"You know, you intrigue me a lot, too. Despite how happy-go-lucky you are, Alice says you _hate_ your birthday, huh?" Edward gave her a pointed look. Bella avoided looking at him and instead focused on her soup. "Bella, come on. It's even worse that I said all of that to you on your fucking birthday."

"It wouldn't have made a difference, had you known."

Edward rolled his eyes.

"I would've wished you happy birthday," Edward said, suddenly pulling out a small box from beside him wrapped in pink paper. "And given you this."

Instantly, Bella started saying she couldn't accept anything, but Edward insisted.

"It's not much, Bells. Come on, just accept it, please?" He threw in his famous puppy dog eyes, which he only reserved for special occasions. Thankfully for him, it worked like a charm.

Sighing, Bella set aside her half-finished soup to open the gift. She ripped the paper apart, surprising Edward; he would've thought she would be one of those people that painstakingly opened gifts. He was glad; he was impatient to see her reaction.

It was a keychain; red, and in the form of a swan.

When Bella looked up, Edward was hiding behind his milkshake.

"Edward?"

"Uh, I rescued a piece of metal from Big Red. I'd been holding onto it all this time wondering when would be a good time to give it to you, and when Alice told me about your birthday I asked a friend who's into more delicate work if he could make it into a swan."

As he'd explained, he could see how Bella's eyes started getting more and more watery, until a couple of tears fell. Startled, he hoped the tears were of happiness.

"Thank you _so_ much, Edward, it's a wonderful gift." Bella smiled, wiping away her tears with the back of her hand. Fiddling with the keychain, she looked up through her lashes before looking down again. "You know, until Saturday, I hadn't cried in more than ten years. Harry's death made something inside of me break, or perhaps get fixed, and now I can't seem to stop crying." Bella drank from her own milkshake. "There's something you didn't know about me."

Edward couldn't help himself from asking.

"Why did you stop crying for so long?"

He might not have been crying left and right, but he remembered crying a handful of times in the last few years. Out of anger (when Lauren left him), out of happiness (when Lauren left him), because of yawning…

Bella took a moment to answer; she slurped half of her drink away and brought the soup back in front of her, ready for the brain freeze from mixing the two temperatures. She stared down at the clear froth.

"After… my _mother_... died… I couldn't find it in me to cry. Nothing was ever so sad, or ever so happy or so funny that I couldn't help the tears. After a while I regained some emotions, but the blockage wouldn't let any tears out. I've been very happy the last few years, truly, and there's been times where I've felt quite down, but…" Bella shrugged, seeming uncomfortable with the conversation. "It took Harry dying for me to let the dam break."

Edward nodded.

"Someday, when you're ready, will you tell me about your mother?" Edward asked, knowing from her expression that this was a very delicate subject. Hesitantly, Bella agreed.

"Now, _you_ tell me something I don't know about you." Bella said, getting back to eating her soup. Edward thought for a moment.

"Let's see… Well, I can play the piano _and_ the violin. My mother made sure my sister and I could play at least two instruments, that we could speak two languages besides English, and that we played one sport throughout high school. I speak Spanish and French and, as you know, I played soccer. Tanya plays the clarinet and the trombone, speaks French and Italian, and used to play volleyball. We both hated our mother back then, but are grateful now."

Bella smiled at the anecdote.

"I want to hear you play piano, I really do. I bet you play wonderfully." Bella said, and though Edward tried denying it, she could see right through him. "Oh, of course you do. You're a perfectionist, so I can't believe you didn't go above and beyond with your instrumental skills."

Busted.

Letting out a half-sigh, half chuckle, Edward let his head hang.

"Alright, I'll play for you one day, alright?" Bella cheered.

The rest of lunch was spent a lot more light-heartedly, with Edward telling Bella about his last two weeks and how much Alex had missed her. In return, Bella told him of how the funeral had gone, what they'd done in the sleepover and how far along she was in her latest book. By the end of it all, Edward was so wrapped up in conversation he didn't even stop to think when the waitress asked if she should bring two spoons for the pie. Edward had said yes and the two ate apple pie without thinking of Edward's previous reluctance. Well, Edward did; Bella noticed it faintly, thinking how funny it was that a man could be so vociferous at one moment but then forget his hatreds in the spur of the moment. Smiling even wider, Bella listened to Edward talk about his piano lessons as a child, enjoying even more the few pieces of pie she sneaked off. By the time Edward had to head back to work, both were quite reluctant to part ways.

"Thank you for this chance," Edward said, opening the driver's door for Bella. They were already in the parking lot saying their goodbyes, and Edward had left his car a little bit further away from Bella's, so he'd accompanied her to her spot.

Bella smiled back.

"Thank _you_ for my keychain. It means a lot to me," Bella said honestly. "I don't care much for things, but this makes me very happy."

Edward blushed, fiddling with his own car keys. He had to ask this, or he'd lose his mind over it.

"So… What did you mean when you said you wouldn't give up on us?"

Bella's smile didn't falter.

"Well, what do you _want_ it to mean?" Bella asked. Edward blinked, not knowing how to answer that; her smile softened. "First you should figure that out. I don't mind the wait."

Edward frowned. That _still_ didn't answer his question.

"Bella, the last thing I want to do is hurt you again."

Bella pressed her lips together.

"The only thing I want from you is to acknowledge that I'm serious. That, and to never again ask me something along the lines of 'Why me?'. I already told you why you, and the only reason I'd get hurt is if my feelings get questioned. As for the rest..." Bella shrugged, her features softening once more. "I'm a pretty tough cookie."

Edward nodded, frown still in place.

"What if I can't reciprocate your feelings?"

Bella laughed. She rose on her tiptoes and placed a kiss on the corner of his mouth, lingering there for a couple of beats.

"Can't you see? You already do."

Then Bella got into her car and drove away, leaving a stupefied Edward Cullen in her wake once more.

* * *

 **Hi! So, again, I just want to thank y'all for the incredible support pouring forth. I always love updating, but this makes me even more psyched to write. Also, I'm sorry this update isn't longer, but exams are starting on Monday and tomorrow's a busy busy day, but I didn't want to leave you hanging. So, what did you think? Were you expecting this comeback? And for those of you who might think Bella's being too easy -she's not. One of the things this Bella does is put herself in other people's shoes, so she _can_ see why Edward's reason was valid, though unnecessary. Hopefully, you feel satisfied with how each of them said their piece. Remember the story's not finished yet so obviously there are some gaps of information, but hopefully we can fill those in the next few chapters. Again, thanks a bunch! :)**

 **Leah.**


	5. How Strong Men Fall

**Disclaimer: I caught a cold (yeah, while on exams) so I do not own any spelling mistakes or incoherencies.**

* * *

"So, I was thinking _blue_ , what says you?"

"Huh?"

"Be- _lla_! Halloween, _focus_! How's blue for my eyeshadow?"

Bella blinked in confusion.

"Alice, Halloween is like four weeks away." Bella said, motioning to the calendar hanging by Alice's desk. It read October 4th in bold red. Alice sighed in exasperation, getting off of her bed and shuffling to her friend's side; she groaned.

"You're _working_? I thought you would've been doing something _productive_ like, I dunno, stalking Edward on Facebook or something." Alice whined, making Bella laugh and shake her head.

"I need to get a head start on this draft; Rose is going away on vacation and I promised I'd deliver her a chapter for Monday." Bella said, but she saved her document and turned to look up at her friend. "So tell me again what you're dressing up as?"

"A pixie," Alice griped, recalling. "My friends and I decided to randomly assign costumes for Halloween, and I ended up picking a pixie. It's not enough to be called one all the time now, is it?"

Bella smiled, thinking how nice the arrangement was.

"What's everyone else going as?"

Alice huffed, sitting down on the other desk chair. She always had two: one for her, and one for Bella.

"Peter Pan, a ghost, a zombie, a pirate and a princess. Jasper's the princess," Alice smirked, remembering how red he'd been when he'd drawn the paper with the word _Princess_ written on it. Bella smiled, picturing the event, too. Jasper was tall, lanky, and shy enough that his security in his maleness was probably overshadowed by his social awkwardness.

"Well, I think it's very cool you've made this arrangement. It makes it more fun, no?" Bella said, patting Alice on the head. Alice pouted.

"It kinda does, but I wanted to go as a Southern Belle." Alice confessed. "Jasper always goes as a cowboy, so I thought…"

Bella sighed.

"Right, how's that going so far?"

Alice sighed back.

"I don't _know_. I've been kinda… distant, I guess. I can't take looking at him with that slu—" Alice backtracked when she caught Bella's glare. "—slug, Karin. So every time I catch them talking I just kinda shut off."

Bella leaned back in her chair, thinking.

"And how's he been treating you?"

Alice made a face, thinking of it.

"Flirting. It's really frustrating, too, because I feel like he's only this way with _me_ , but he could very well be like that with other girls too, you know? Like, it's special, but maybe not that much, I guess."

Bella wished she could understand her friend, but she'd never been one for playing coy, and men had never been anything but forward with her, too. Edward was… well, she didn't know how to describe that.

"How does he treat this Karin girl?"

The very name sent a shiver down Alice's spine.

"Oh, ok I guess. They sit together for science, but I think that's as close as they get. As far as I can see, at least." Alice groaned, tugging at her short hair. "He's just so _unfair_ , you know? He'll be, like, hugging me and teasing me one moment, and the next he's not even saying hi to me when we see each other in the cafeteria. Like, what the fuck? He's the example of hot and cold, and it's giving me whiplash."

Bella thought that maybe Jasper was doing this on purpose, but she didn't think her theory would be well received, so she didn't convey her suspicion.

"Has he been acting differently than before, what with you being more distant?" Bella asked instead, and Alice did that constipated face sometimes people did when they were thinking hard about something.

"He's more… around, I guess. Like, I see him _everywhere_ , you know? The cafeteria, the library, the parking lot, the hallway before almost every class… I didn't see him so often before. But that's probably just a coincidence, or wishful thinking."

Bella coughed.

"What?"

"No, nothing, just…" Bella did her best not to giggle. "That sounds so _high school_."

Annoyed, Alice huffed and crossed her arms over her chest.

"I _am_ a high-schooler, you dick. God, you're insufferable today," Alice grumbled, kicking her legs up onto Bella's lap. She crossed her fingers behind her head and leaned back, looking like she was only missing a toothpick to complete the old Western picture. "Now, tell me how it's going with Edwina."

Bella shrugged, drumming her fingers on Alice's ankle. She stared at her laptop, which was now showing pictures of puppies as the screensaver.

"I haven't seen him since last Thursday. I'm trying to build up the suspense."

Alice sniggered.

"You're trying the whole push and pull thing?"

With a smile that was much too close to a smirk, Bella raised an eyebrow as she looked at Alice out of the corner of her eye.

"No. I'm trying the surprise element thing. I'm letting him wonder for a while when he'll see me next, and then…" Bella's smile widened. "I'll be there."

Thinking her friend was sounding a tad maniacal, Alice did the only thing she could think of that fit the situation:

She let one rip.

* * *

"Please?"

"No."

" _Pretty_ please?"

"No."

"But—"

"Emmett, stop tormenting Bella," Rose said, smacking the back of her husband's head as she walked back into Emmett's office. Bella was sitting in one of the chairs for guests, and as soon as Emmett had seen her he'd run out to sit next to her. "You know she doesn't do the whole gym thing."

"But she should! Exercise is health. Look," Emmett said, flexing a bicep for Bella. "Think I get sick?"

Bella laughed, nodding. Just a month ago Rose was complaining of how he'd come down with the flu.

"Sorry Em, but you know I've got two left feet and very little desire to exercise. I'm fine with my jelly body." Bella smiled, giggling a bit at Emmett's wounded look. "But your muscles are _quite_ impressive."

Emmett's face brightened, and he turned to his wife with a smug face. She was already sitting down on his chair, having appropriated his desk for the occasion. He wiggled his eyebrows.

"See? _Some_ people are still in awe of my prowess. It would do you no harm to be one of them, babe," Emmett complained, referring to how his wife would just roll her eyes every time she saw him admiring his muscles in some mirror. She understood they were proof of his effort, but sometimes it got ridiculous.

"Em, don't you have a gym to run or something?" Rose deadpanned, showing her husband the door to his office. "I need to talk to Bella."

Emmett pouted, not even bothering to point out whose office it was.

"Fine, I'll leave, but I shall never give up on trying to get Bella Swan to join." Emmett swore, standing up with a huff. "I will be back," he said with his Terminator voice, and then rushed away before Rosalie could chuck a pen at his head.

"Your husband's cute," Bella laughed, turning back to face Rose as she heard the door click closed. "He really thinks he can convince me to join a gym."

Rose shook her head in resignation.

"He's an optimist above all things. Stupidly, sometimes. I think it's just his pride that makes him keep asking by this point," Rose admitted. Every single person Emmett McCarty had pressured into joining his gym had done so, all but Bella Swan. He'd had more luck convincing Edward to let Alex join (for free and under supervision) than getting Bella to even think about joining. It was kinda funny to Rose, too; Bella was usually an incredibly kind person who had a lot of trouble saying no, but when it came to working out 'no' was the first and last word out of the girl's mouth.

"Can't fault him. I don't think he understands I could take down the whole gym by tripping on nothing; we haven't spent enough time together that he's seen my epic falls," Bella chuckled, and seeing Rose's expression, cocked her head to the side. "You ok, Rose?"

She sighed.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry, I just haven't been feeling all that well lately. I'm so tired from the double work I've been doing so we can go on vacation I feel a bit dead. Don't worry though, I literally asked for this," Rose sighed, rolling the chair closer to the desk. "Anyway, what's up? How's the rough draft coming along?"

Bella chose not to comment, knowing her worry wouldn't be appreciated. Instead, she pulled a USB out of her purse with a wide grin.

"Done and pending your approval," Bella said, handing the USB over. It had taken her all weekend, but with how inspired she'd been and the amount of free time she had from avoiding every human being, the chapter had come along relatively quick.

Rose sighed in relief.

"Thanks _so_ much, Bella. I owe you one." Rose said, putting the thumb drive away in her purse. "Wanna go grab some lunch? My treat."

Blushing, Bella shook her head.

"Thanks for the offer, but I'm gonna have to take a raincheck. I've got plans."

Rose wiggled her eyebrows.

"Mike's taking you out?"

Bella's surprised face stroke that option out.

"Oh, I hadn't told you? Mike and I broke up the day after your housewarming. And on other news," Bella barreled on despite Rose's bugged out eyes. "I'm breaking Edward's walls down one day at a time."

This was too much information all at once.

"Wait, you're… You broke up and… _Edward_? Edward Cullen? _Emmett's_ Edward?"

Bella nodded.

"We became friends after he gave me a ride after your housewarming. And now I'm trying to become more than that."

Mouth agape, Rose couldn't react even as Bella bid her goodbye and left the gym to who knows where. When Emmett came in, he found his wife in the same shocked spot.

"Rosie?"  
Blinking, Rosalie looked up at her husband.

"Did you know that Edward Cullen and Bella are probably _dating_?"

Emmett whistled, suddenly too interested in the generic painting of a fruit basket he'd hung up in his office.

Rose fumed.

"I'll fucking murder you."

-.-

"Knock knock."

Shivering and almost jumping out of his skin at the same time, Edward spun back to look at the petite woman looking up at him with mischievous but kind doe eyes.

"Bella! What're you doing here?"

It was Monday after noon, and Edward had been drowning in paper work the whole day. It was the burden of being the boss, after all, so he couldn't complain… much. Still, Bella's face was a welcome one especially after not having seen each other in a little over a week. He was currently taking a break from bureaucracy by going around the shop and checking in on his employees, so she'd caught him near the entrance.

"I swung by to give you lunch," Bella said, suddenly bringing out a bag from behind her and lifting it up as evidence. "You normally do paper work on Mondays, so I imagined you wouldn't go out for food if you could help it."

Damn, she was right.

"I haven't eaten," Edward admitted, and right on cue his stomach made itself known to half the world. He cleared his throat, ignoring Bella's laughter.

"Damn bossman, that you?" Jacob Black suddenly poked his head out from behind a stack of boxes, surprising Bella. "I could hear your hunger like ten feet away."

Edward humphed.

"Wait, weren't you Emmett's new hire at the gym a few months ago?" Bella said, watching as the hulking man approached the two. She turned to Edward. "Did you steal him?"

Jake laughed good-naturedly.

"S'up, Bella. Nah, Edward didn't steal me, if anything Emmett had to beg him to take me. I'm a mechanic, but I hadn't been able to find any vacancies so I'd settled for being a personal trainer. Emmett realized _way_ too quickly how much I sucked, and flash forward a few months and I'm where I was meant to be. Right, bossman?" Jake asked, startling Edward by swinging a huge arm across Bella's shoulders.

Forcing himself not to react to that, Edward rolled his eyes.

"You still fucking suck, Black. You're on probation, remember?"

Jake smiled sheepishly down at Bella, who was looking between the two men in amusement.

"I dropped a wrench on Edward's toe the first week he hired me. He hasn't forgiven me yet," Jake admitted, making Bella torn between laughing and worrying about the guy she liked. When she saw Edward's unamused face, she decided to just smile.

"Why, he's got sturdy bones. I'm sure it was just a small bruise," Bella teased. Smiling brightly at the non-reproach, Jake squeezed Bella's shoulders before letting go.

"I like you, Bella. You and I could be great friends," Jake grinned, the smile widening when he saw his boss's eyes narrow. "Or not. Only if my boss approves."

Edward squinted even further, amusing Jacob to no end.

Bella could only see Edward's expression though, and she held back an eye-roll. So he was indecisive over their relationship but decided about other men not flirting with her, huh? She stepped out from Jacob's embrace despite how ridiculous she found it; not to placate Edward, but because she didn't want to be one of those girls who knowingly made the guy they liked jealous. She didn't want this to be the start of their relationship, after all: him deciding that no one but him could have her.

"Well, _my_ boss thinks I can be friends with whoever I want," Bella said, and she turned up to grin at the giant Quilete. "It was nice seeing you again, Jake. I'll catch you before I leave, alright? I brought some brownies for everyone to share, but if I leave them with Edward no one will ever even know they existed."

Edward had a serious sweet-tooth, after all.

Brightening at that, Jake ruffled Bella's hair, cheered and then skipped off to finish his current task. Bella followed Edward to his office, just pulling out a Tupperware while Edward closed the door behind him and plopped down beside her on his office's couch.

"So, whatcha got?" Edward asked, peering into the seemingly endless bag. By now, Bella had pulled out napkins, a thermos, and another Tupperware.

"Well, I brought you sandwiches, green tea and lettuce wraps. The brownies are divided in three bags: for you, for your employees and for Alex. And let me remind you that I _will_ ask your son when I see him next if he got them," Bella warned with a mock-menacing glare, once more giggling when she saw Edward's pout.

"But, _Bella_ ," Edward whined, and if anything, her smile only widened.

"I thought you valued your son above all else?" Bella teased, opening the lid for the lettuce wraps. With a napkin, she picked one and handed it over. Reluctantly, Edward took it. "Or is that limited to food?"

"Everything is limited to food," Edward grumbled, thanking Bella when she also handed him an extra napkin. "Alex has literally bit me for trying to sneak a bite from his meal."

Bella could picture it too well.

"Like father, like son," Bella said, grabbing a lettuce wrap for herself. "It seems food can be the way in, or even the way out, to a man's heart, huh?" The corner of Bella's eyes crinkled with her smile, and absentmindedly, Edward nodded as he bit on the food.

He groaned.

"You're fucking amazing with anything you cook, Bella," Edward praised, making the woman in front of him blush. "You sure you don't want to be a chef? It's never too late to change professions."

He would know.

"And upstage Laurent? I'd never dare," Bella brushed it off with ease, biting down on her own wrap. She swallowed down and continued, watching as Edward already aimed for another wrap. "Besides, he taught me pretty much everything I know. So the one you should be praising is him."

Edward chuckled.

"I think God punished Laurent by marrying him to my sister," Edward deduced, making Bella frown in confusion. "No, really, I love the woman but she can burn cereal. A good meal for Tanya is one that tastes like absolutely _nothing_. I mean, I'm no ace myself or anything, but _I've_ never given food poisoning to anyone, either."

 _Oh._

Bella laughed nervously.

"Oh, so _that's_ why…" She trailed off, flushing when Edward shot her an inquisitive glance. "It's just that she offered to make lunch one day at the Clearwater's, and Sue suddenly started crying that she wanted Laurent to make one of Harry's favorite dishes. The thing is, Sue _hates_ Harry's favorite meal, so I was a little confused about the episode. I guess Sue must've tried your sister's cooking?"

Edward barked out a laugh.

"Oh God, will Tanya's destruction of taste buds never end?" Edward laughed, and he seemed to be in such a good mood that Bella's automatically improved even more. She liked him most this way: relaxed and teasing. "She got it from my father. He's so bad at it he makes anything he touches taste like carbon."

That was so sad.

"Right, your dad's a doctor, hadn't you said?" Bella asked, and Edward nodded. "Is he specialized in a field?"

Chewing on his third and final wrap, Edward nodded.

"General surgery," Edward said, swallowing down a bite. "His nurses say he's the best surgeon in a twenty-mile radius, but he's also their idol, so I never know what to believe."

Bella grinned, imagining an older version of Edward making nurses swoon.

"And what about your mom? Is she a doctor, too?"

Edward shook his head, thinking of how Esme fainted at the sight of blood.

"Nah, she's an interior designer. She took time off to raise me and my sister, but she's been working again for like the last eight years or so." Edward took the last bite of his wrap, chewed for a few seconds and then swallowed. "If you've ever been to Tanya's house you'll know what my mother's touch is like."

Bella's eyebrows raised in surprise.

"I've been there once. I always tell Tanya how much I love it, but she never sad it was your mother's work." Bella explained while putting away the Tupperware and bringing out the one one with sandwiches. "Are you close to her?"

Edward nodded, thanking Bella as she gave him a sandwich while she bit into her own.

"My mother is fucking amazing, and I'm not just saying that because I'm her son. When we were in high school Emmett fucking _worshiped_ the ground she walked on, no joke. And that was _despite_ the daily ass-chewing we received for stupid shit like walking into the house with our shoes on. My dad's the doctor but _she's_ the neat-freak; she doesn't let you walk into the house unless you take your shoes off at the entrance and she makes everyone wash their hands before and after eating. If she doesn't see you do it, she makes you repeat it in front of her. _That's_ how bad it is," Edward laughed, thinking of how crazy his mother could be. Bella's eyes were wide in disbelief, so he backtracked when he realized the impression he must've been making of his mother. "But that's the only thing about her that makes her an odd mom. She's super chill with pretty much anything else."

Bella gave him a half smile.

"Mothers _are_ something, aren't they?" Bella asked rhetorically, and before Edward could find the perfect chance to slip in a question about Bella's mother, she asked another question. "What about your father? Besides him being a terrible cook, I mean."

Edward knew this answer by heart.

"He sucks ass at acting like a grown-up. Seriously, he's pushing sixty-five and he still flirts with every nurse on the floor, and if you ever mention he should stop riding his motorcycle he'll fucking blow a gasket. When I was a kid I had to literally wrestle my toys away from dad because he'd hoard them all. Sometimes, when my mother goes on a trip with friends or something, my dad goes to the supermarket and binges on junk food all weekend long and stays up all night playing video-games. He's the worst fucking grown up I've ever met."

Bella was fascinated by the stories, laughing as Edward spoke about his family's dynamics. They were such fun stories, and it let her see why he was so adamant about protecting Alex all he could. Coming from what was obviously a warm and loving family, it was logical to think Edward would settle for nothing less for his own son.

"Your family sounds very warm," Bella smiled, putting down the quarter she had left of her sandwich. "I'm looking forward to meeting them someday."

Oddly enough, the suggestion didn't freak Edward out.

"I hope you do," he replied honestly, thinking how nice it would be for Bella to see what a happy family was supposed to look like. "I think my parents would really like you."

Bella's smile widened.

"Really?" Bella asked, and while chewing a bite from his sandwich Edward nodded in all seriousness. "I hope they do. I don't know what I'd do if they don't, to be honest. I really want your parents to like me."

Ignoring the heat to his face brought forth by the statement, Edward swallowed down and continued.

"I'm sure all parents love you."

Bella made a face.

"Alice's parents don't like me much." Bella confessed, surprising Edward. He'd have thought nobody in their right minds would dislike Bella Swan. Seeing his reaction, Bella explained. "The thing is, they met me at my unlikable and saw me go through my worst. I was different with Alice, but they always caught wind of my misbehaviors somehow. It's quite hard to step out from the shadow you've created for yourself, and some people might have a hard time wanting to give you the benefit of the doubt."

Edward frowned.

"What kind of teen were you?"

Wincing with discomfort, Bella did her best to answer truthfully.

"Um… a bit rotten. I talked back to every authority I encountered, disobeyed all house rules, did, um, drugs and drank alcohol from the time I was thirteen…" Bella flinched, really not wanting to recall any of this. "I… I don't know how, but I managed to not influence Alice through it all. It's one of the things I'm most grateful for."

He dared to venture into what might've been a sensitive subject.

" _Why_ were you so angry, Bella?" He genuinely didn't understand the full picture; he understood about where a _third_ of the anger came from, but most of it didn't make much sense to him. She was so different from the person she spoke of that it seemed strange to him how far she had come along. Excellent, but strange.

"Edward." Bella suddenly grew quite serious, and it made his heartbeat stop for a moment. She looked upset, and this made him feel like something burned in his stomach. "I was put into the foster care system by the time I was eight years old; I grew up without a father and with a terrible mother. Nobody wanted to adopt me, and the one man who did thought I wouldn't want him to. My only friend was a girl _five_ years younger who could not yet understand my problems. I grew up thinking no one would ever love me, and that Alice, the only one who seemed to like me, would grow to hate me in time. _Of course_ I was angry; that anger was the only thing I had for a very long time. Self-destruction was the only way I could ensure no one would destroy me first."

Edward pictured a frowning nine-year-old girl, looking at other little kids angrily as they played the day away. He pictured a teenager hiding in a dark alley knocking back a beer and planning to go find her dealer on a school night. This made the burning in his stomach double, as well as the gratefulness to his parents that he'd led such a blessed life. And despite the hardships he'd faced with his ex-wife, he still had Alex and he could afford to give him a good, loving life.

"I'm glad you didn't self-destroy," Edward admitted, grabbing the Tupperware and bag and placing them on the coffee table next to the couch. He pried the thermos out of Bella's hands, which held onto it fervently; then he scooted over to Bella's side of the couch, reaching out a hand to smooth over the lines on her forehead. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. I... I want to know more about you; _all_ of you. It's made you be who you are today, isn't it?"

Bella glanced down.

"What if it's too much for you? Aren't you scared I'll turn back into that person?"

Edward shook his head, reaching down and grabbing Bella's left hand with his right; he linked their fingers.

"I might not be as optimistic as you, but I don't want to live every day wondering about the what ifs. If you turn back into that person, we'd cross that bridge when we got to it. But I don't think you will, or that you could. You know very well you became that way because of how angry and lonely you were; Alice loves you, and you've heard now that Harry wanted you. I... whatever happens between us, Bella, you're someone I admire wholeheartedly. Even if you were to lose it all today, don't you think you know now how to gain everything back? Don't you think you're worth everything?"

Eyes watery, Bella sniffled. Without asking or apologizing she moved to sit on his lap, legs clutching his waist and arms going around his neck. She waited for Edward to hug her back tightly before answering.

"You're the sweetest man I've ever met. You're going to quickly become what I've most wanted in my life if you keep this up, and then I'll _really_ never quit going after you." Bella sniffled, feeling how warm her heart was and rejoicing in it. Once, she'd thought feelings like these were a myth. "You make my soul so happy. That, and you're easy on the eyes."

Edward chuckled, rubbing a hand up and down her back.

"You're not too bad yourself."

That was an understatement. Bella was easily the most beautiful woman Edward had ever met; on their first meeting, he'd thought she was a little too young, and had therefore not had much of an opinion appearance-wise. The more they'd gotten to know each other, Edward had started realizing her coffee brown eyes had specks of gold, and that her smile made her eyes shine much brighter. She was lovely; her beauty wasn't loud, so to say, but it _was_ mesmerizing. She had one of those rare faces that looked lively without makeup, and he felt that a bare face suited her much more. The one time he'd seen her wear makeup she'd rubbed off her eyeliner halfway through the day, too, which though hilarious, was probably not the point of it. Bella had once told him she'd spent too much time learning to love herself to feel the need to cover imperfections she would always live with; that she preferred showing everyone her natural face all the time and then wowing everyone whenever she _did_ wear makeup. That, and Edward was pretty sure Bella was cheap as hell when it came to spending on herself.

"I'm gonna make you fall head over heels for me," Bella promised, pulling back a bit so they were looking at each other's faces. She'd held back tears, but her eyes were still glistening. She leaned closer, and instinctively Edward closed his eyes. He felt a kiss to the corner of his lips, and opening his eyes warily, he saw Bella wore a mischievous look. "Nuh uh. No commitment, no kisses."

And then, because she'd found the joy in torturing him, she ground down on his bulge, climbed off and grabbed her things. Eyes twinkling, she smiled wide.

"See you Saturday!"

* * *

Saturday was Alex's piano recital. Bella was particularly excited about this because she hadn't yet heard the boy play, despite having accompanied him to the piano lessons. She hadn't managed to see Alex since she'd dropped him and Seth off at school, so she was also excited about seeing him. She'd been planning on going out to lunch with Edward and Seth, but Edward had informed her he had a client he _had_ to see before heading to the recital or else he wouldn't be able to make it. From his tone on the phone, she'd deduced that Alex was not a happy trooper about this, as it meant there was a chance he could get there late. So Bella had told Edward she could take Alex out to eat and then take him to the recital. Begrudgingly he'd agreed, knowing the arrangement was for the best; he'd wanted to take Alex to the recital, but he also knew he would probably be about twenty minutes late or so and he'd then have a ten-year-old with a heart attack.

The moment Alex had been dropped off on her doorstep, though, Bella made a quick decision.

"No, you know what? I was gonna give in to your father and take you to the nearby Chinese place, but I've just decided you deserve French."

Alex's favorite food was crepes.

Immediately, she'd seen the little boy's eyes light up; he asked if she was serious.

"Of course I am. I'm not taking _that_ suit to Panda Express," Bella teased. "Give me five minutes to put on something a little fancier than jeans and we'll go, alright?"

Alex, with all the grace of an excited ten-year-old, nodded furiously and sat down on the couch, turning on the TV to wait for the millennia that five minutes were.

In exactly three minutes, Bella resurfaced from her bedroom wearing a v-neck gray wrap dress that hit her a third below the knee complete with cap sleeves, pockets, using white tennis shoes and with her hair up in a ponytail. Bella loved her dress —of course she did, the thing had cost her almost $800. In her defense she'd been shopping with Alice and had fallen in love with it when they arrived at Becken; without checking the price, she'd merrily paid for it and had only realized how much it cost when she was at the check out. Alice had pressured her so much she'd had no choice but to buy it.

Still, all Alex did was look down at her shoes.

Sheepishly, Bella shrugged.

"It's either this or a probable visit to the ER. Heels and I do _not_ mix."

Alex rolled his eyes good-naturedly.

"You always say you're so clumsy, Bella, but I've never seen you fall," Alex said, turning off the TV and jumping over it quite skillfully, suit be damned. He blushed, looking down at his feet suddenly. "But you look very pretty."

Wanting to 'aww' so badly she could feel it at the tip of her tongue, Bella settled for grabbing Alex by the shoulders and giving him a quick hug.

"Aren't we a pretty picture then?" Bella smiled, pulling back; from up close, Alex realized Bella had put something on her eyes which made them pop. It suited her. "Come on then handsome, we need to get going or you'll be late for your recital."

Going down to the lobby, Bella encountered Jack as always.

"Miss Swan, Alex, how come you both look so dashing this evening?"

Alex stood a little taller, blushing slightly, and Bella gave the doorman one of her bright smiles while putting a hand on Alex's shoulder.

"This gentleman is taking me out on a date. We couldn't look like anything less than our best, could we?" Bella winked down at Alex, whose blush intensified. "Although Alex here disagrees with my choice of shoes."

Jack cast his eyes downwards, looking at the insulted shoes.

"Yes, perhaps the sneakers do not match the suit," Jack nodded seriously.

"Be- _lla_!" Alex whined, embarrassed on being called out.

"A- _lex_!" Bella imitated, chuckling. She waved at Jack. "See you when I see you, Jack."

"Have a lovely evening, Miss Swan," Jack opened the door for the two, bidding them adieu.

As he watched them go, Bella's hand still on Alex's shoulder, the doorman thought how funny it was that, despite looking nothing alike, the two seemed a lot like mother and son.

-.-

"So I told him to shut his trap," Alex concluded his story with a firm nod of satisfaction. Eyebrows raised, Bella took a sip from her orange juice and squinted lightly.

"While I commend you for standing up for yourself," Bella began, putting down her glass. "Don't you think you could've been nicer about it?"

Alex frowned, thanking the water that came to give him the new can of Sprite.

"But he was an ass to me first. Besides, dad swears all the time."

Oh boy.

"Well, your dad swears a lot, but he doesn't swear _at_ people, does he?" Bella asked rhetorically, already knowing the answer. Edward could curse like a sailor, but he was never one for insults. "Besides, don't you think you ought to be better that that bully? Falling down to his level doesn't feel good, does it?"

Alex begged to disagree.

"But it _does_ feel good to stand up for myself."

"Have you ever heard the saying, kill them with kindness?" Bella asked, and the boy in front of her nodded. "Well, _I_ think that's the best way to get back at bullies. Mean people are usually dumbfounded when someone replies kindly instead of rudely. Now, I'm not saying to just lie there and take it, but 'punching back' doesn't mean you have to be just as mean. One of the worst things you can do to someone who is bullying you is making them think you don't care, because it tells them you know they're not worth your time."

Bella watched as Alex digested this point of view slowly with a light frown. He was thinking deeply.

"I know it sounds very… saintly, I guess. But, Alex," Bella made sure to catch his eye and hold his stare. "We can only hope to be treated the way we treat others. If we put our part of kindness, and we're still mistreated, it speaks volumes about who _they_ are, not us. Getting angry… there comes a point where it won't cut it anymore. Your classmates will move on and be happy, and you'll be stuck in the same place they left you at."

Alex looked down at his new can of Sprite, unopened and cold.

"I'm fine where I am. I've got you, and Seth, and even dad."

At least he knew as much.

"But Alex," Bella said, kind eyes conveying her gentleness and strength fully. "We might be enough for you now, but will we always be? Your dad and I don't even go to school with you, and Seth is a year older. Are you ok with not getting along with your classmates?"

Alex huffed.

"They're stupid, and most of them have been mean to me at some point anyway. They're stupid _and_ mean."

Bella thought of how precarious it was to talk to a ten-year-old boy about actions.

"People are many things, Alex, and we can act selfishly or kindly and meanly or nicely. But above all things, we all deserve a second chance. If you never hear any of your classmates out, you'll never know if they meant to apologize to you or if _they'd_ misunderstood _you_. Many times people are just reacting to what they _think_ they know of us, and how can they know if you've never let them in?"

Alex opened the can of Sprite, carefully filling his glass with the soda. Bella didn't pressure him to talk, knowing from his expression that he was just thinking.

"I think, what you're saying, is that I should let other people trample all over me. That I should be forgiving no matter what they do to me, right? Simply because I might be misunderstanding why they're mean." Alex frowned, putting down the can. He stared across the small table at Bella. "But what about _me_?"

 _What about me?_

The words echoed all the way back to her childhood, but Bella stopped herself from reminiscing. Nothing good ever came from it. _It's not a bad thing to think about yourself first, Bella, but if you only ever think about yourself then that's the only person you'll have, don't you think?_

Bella reached out and grabbed his smaller hand in hers, thinking how weird it was that a ten-year-old boy had hands just barely smaller than hers. They were cold from touching the chilled beverage.

"Would you believe me if I told you that being forgiving is much more for your _own_ happiness than for the sake of others?" Bella asked, and at Alex's blank stare, continued. "Well, you can't do anything about how others think, feel or act, can you? They might genuinely apologize or not mean it, but you'll never know for sure, right? We're not mind readers. The best revenge you can give anyone is to be happy —because it shows them how little their words mean to you."

Alex looked down at her hand.

"But what if they _do_ mean something to me?"

Of course they did; he was ten, and lonely, and hurt.

"Then you talk to your dad about it. Or to me, or Seth, or your Aunt Tanya or your grandparents. Don't you see how many of us care about you? It's up to you what becomes more important in your world —the destructive words of people you don't know, or the warm feelings of those of us closest to you." Bella squeezed his hand, which had warmed under hers. "Now go wash your hands. I see our food coming here."

Forgetting all about deep and heavy conversations, Alex nodded quickly and walked quickly to the bathroom —a gentleman never ran.

 **How u holding up? —E**

Bella saw the incoming text from Edward on her phone's lock screen, and was about to reply when she saw on her periphery someone standing next to her table. Confused, because if it was the waiter he'd have spoken up, Bella looked to her left and up. It was a woman, older than her but not terribly so, dressed in green and with her brown hair piled up in a bun. She looked pretty, and fancy, and upset.

"Uh, hi?" Bella let her lips curl up in a small smile, not understanding what was going on.

"What are you doing with my son?" The woman demanded to know, pointing at the empty seat. "Who are you?"

 _Oh_ , alright.

"Are you Lauren?" Bella asked, and seeming a bit taken aback, the woman hesitantly nodded. "I'm Edward's friend, Bella. I…" Bella lost all the friendliness on her face, showing how she would not take anything lying back when it came to those she cared about. "I don't know what your circumstances are or were, but right now all Alex knows is that you left him. If you're here to stake a claim on your son then that's not needed: I know you're his mother and that will never change. However, if you are, then please leave. He'll be back soon and it'll only hurt him to see you leave again."

Lauren, red-faced, crossed her arms over her chest.

"You're getting ahead of yourself, little girl. _I'm_ his mother, and you're just a friend."

Calmly, Bella stood up.

"You _are_ Alexander's mother. You also left him."

Lauren's face scrunched up.

"I didn't leave Alex, I left _Edward_. There's a difference."

Bella sighed.

"Is there? Because as far as I know, you signed over the rights to your son. Please, today's an important day for Alex, and it'll upset him to see you. Even if it's just this once… can you do this another day? For your son."

Bella saw the conflict clearly on Lauren's face; it took her seconds, which felt like an eternity, but eventually she gave a very stiff nod.

"For Alex, I'll leave. Just tell me, what's the special occasion?"

Sadly, because it was obvious this woman wouldn't let go, Bella smiled while sitting down.

"He's got his first piano recital."

"Oh," Lauren said, and then she turned on her heel, walking away just as Bella saw Alex coming around a wall from the bathroom. At the same time, the waiter she'd thought was bringing their food before finally did, arriving at the same time as Alex.

"Aren't you going to wash your hands, Bella?" Alex asked with a teasing smile. Smiling back, Bella shook her head, bringing out her purse and showing him an antibacterial gel. No way was she leaving Alex alone.

"I brought gel, I just remembered." Bella said, and then the conversation turned to something about a brand new cartoon Alex was watching.

* * *

"Damn, he's good," Edward sniffled, clapping excitedly as soon as Alex's rendition of Schubert's Scherzo no 1 was done. It was a happy song, and one that he'd heard from Tanya his son had been perfecting for the last five months. He was clapping so happily that it took him a while to notice that Bella was clapping absentmindedly while looking up at him. When he finally did, he raised a perplexed eyebrow. "Bella?"

Blushing, she gave him a sheepish smile.

"Sorry, you dazzled me for a moment," Bella admitted, motioning with her chin at his outfit; he was wearing a suit with a gray tie, which meant they'd accidentally matched. This made her feel over the moon with happiness. "You look so handsome with a suit."

Edward smirked cockily.

"You mean I don't look handsome in my Archie t-shirts? Or my Dragon-Ball shoes?"

Edward was always wearing graphic t-shirts, and Bella knew he owned a couple of shoes and hats about something called anime. She wasn't much for that part of entertainment, but Edward seemed to really like anything that resembled comics. Except DC; Edward had once spent an hour telling her how much he disliked the series, ranting about how their superheroes and villains were too stereotypical.

"Oh, you look hot in those," Bella smiled, the grin widening when she saw the tips of Edward's ears grow red. "But you look _handsome_ in a suit."

"Oh shut it. I get it, no more teasing you," Edward grumbled, thinking of how this woman would be the death of him. "You play dirty, Bella Swan."

She winked, sitting back down with the rest of the audience as they prepared for the next kid to come out.

"Why, I only speak the truth," Bella giggled, eyes drifting back to the now empty stage. "And Alex is incredibly talented. He plays amazingly."

Edward nodded in pride.

"He plays much better than I did at his age. What makes me so glad is that he seems to really like it." Edward praised, and the amount of love and admiration in his voice made Bella squirm a little. As used as she was to paying compliments to others, she'd never grown used to other people paying them. She'd grown to realize with time how much words were always left unsaid out of shyness.

"He was super nervous on our way here. You'd never know from how confident he seemed on stage." Bella confessed, and talking about getting her made a lightbulb go off. "Oh, Edward, can I talk to you outside for a second? There's something I need to tell you."

She hadn't wanted to tell him before Alex's performance, but now that it was done, she suddenly couldn't keep it in any longer. It was incredibly important, and Edward had every right to know.

He turned to look at Bella's face, and he saw that her eyes and the set of her mouth were determined. So, without thinking about it much more, he nodded.

"Alright, come on."

Edward led her outside of the music hall, to the parking lot. He had a feeling that whatever it was, Alex wasn't meant to hear it.

In the late evening hour, Bella shivered.

"Oh shit, sorry," Edward hurried to take off his suit's jacket, ignoring Bella's claims that she was fine. "You're cold, or am I imagining those goosebumps?"

Bella grinned sheepishly.

"Now, what's up? It seemed important."

And so Bella decided to just say it.

"I took Alex to a French restaurant instead because he just looked too handsome for it to go to waste at a Panda Express," Bella began, not noticing the mild grimace of annoyance flash across Edward's face. So, he was _handsome_ , too? This wouldn't do. "And after I sent Alex away to wash his hands, a woman approached me at the table. It was… Lauren, asking who I was and what I was doing with Alex. I think she was concerned, and… she also seemed to miss him. I asked her to go before Alex got back, so he didn't see her, but I just thought you needed to know."

Edward's expression was less than happy.

"Fuck no, she doesn't get to play good mother _now_ , after a year of abandoning Alex."

 _I didn't leave Alex, I left_ Edward _._

"I don't know if she sees it that way," Bella mumbled, sighing at Edward's furious glare. "I mean she _did_ , but… What are you gonna do if she tries regaining her relationship with Alex?"

Edward frowned.

"Lauren wouldn't do that. But if she did…" Edward sighed, running a hand through his already-messy hair. "Fuck, I don't know what I'd do then. She _is_ his mother, but she _left_ without so much as a goodbye. She can't just _waltz in_ whenever she fucking remembers she birthed a human child! I can't let her in only for her to walk out again, Bella. I can't. Alex is just barely starting to get his life back together."

 _When I'm finally starting to be happy again._

Bella reached out and grabbed hold of his right hand with both of hers, and in contrast with Alex, Edward's hands could engulf both of hers without a problem. He was a _man_ , after all.

"You've got time to think of a backup plan, Edward, and whatever you need I'll be there for you. But most importantly, I think eventually you're gonna have to talk to Alex about whether or not he wants a relationship with Lauren, if she _does_ come asking for one. If you think she has a shot at being a good mother, and if it'll make Alex happy, perhaps it's something you'll end up thinking about."

Edward sighed, knowing Bella was right despite how much he wanted her not to be.

"You make the future sound so promising, Bella."

The smile returning to her face, Bella took a step forward.

"Only because you make the past sound forgettable." Bella said, wrapping her arms around his waist and burying her nose in his chest. He smelled of oil, and cologne, and Edward. She inhaled deeply, comforted by the smell.

Edward, in turn, was comforted by the warmth of her words.

He knew now he was only delaying the inevitable, so with a deep sigh he squeezed Bella tightly.

"Fucking fine woman, you broke me down _already_. I'm taking you on a date."

* * *

 **Edward's so quick to break down, isn't he? Hihi. Anyway, thank you all so much for favoriting, following and reviewing this story! It's made me so happy, and I hope that I'll keep meeting your expectations as the story goes on. Have a nice weekend!**

 **Leah.**


	6. Things Could Never Be The Same

**Disclaimer: I must own up to my mistakes again, now that I'm out of my sickness.**

* * *

"One hot chocolate for Bella!" The Starbucks barista called out; excited for her hot drink, Bella rushed over.

"Thank you Clarissa," Bella smiled brightly at the girl in front of her (having paused momentarily to read her name-tag) who in turn gave her a dazzled smile back. "Have a nice day!"

"You too…" The girl trailed off, watching as the woman grabbed her hot chocolate and skipped back to her table. Some people really _had_ infectious auras, Clarissa supposed.

"I swear you make women swoon, Bella," Rebecca Black shook her head in amusement. "You sure you don't want my little brother?"

Bella laughed.

"I'm good, Becca," Bella winked, sipping from her hot chocolate. She hissed. " _Hot_."

Rebecca and Bella had met a few months back, when Jake still worked at Emmett's gym; Bella was a regular at the place, since Rose usually used Emmett's office as her own. Rebecca had been visiting her little brother, had stopped by to greet Jake's boss and had encountered the charm that was Bella Swan. They'd met a couple times since then, but obviously, the topic of Rebecca's brother had never popped up again between them which was why Bella hadn't been aware of Jake's job change. That, and the fact that Emmett's office had been undergoing renovation for far too long which had meant Bella hadn't stopped by the gym to witness herself that the gym was missing one Quilete.

"You know, all joking aside, I can set you up with a really great guy if you want. Ya know," Rebecca suddenly got a very wide grin on her face. "If things with Jake's _boss_ don't work out."

Far from being embarrassed or denying it, Bella giggled madly and drank again from her hot chocolate, forgetting about the scalding temperature until it had already burnt her tongue.

Endorphins made the pain forgettable.

"Oh, we're going on a date on Friday. It's very new, but I really think everything's going to go wonderfully." Bella nodded to herself. "How'd you know? I hadn't said anything yet."

Becca cackled.

"Oh, _you_ didn't, but my little brother sure did. He called me demanding to know why I didn't bake like you did, and that if I was aware my friend was dating his boss." Rebecca laughed, remembering Jake's antics. And, though she knew he wouldn't admit it, Jake had crushed on Bella for like five minutes; meeting her at the housewarming and then at the gym had been enough time for Bella to work her charm, after all. The news hadn't been all that hard though, Rebecca knew, because Jake had been seeing a girl called Vanessa the last couple of weeks. She'd yet to meet the new girl, but her brother sounded so happy on the phone she was expecting good things from the Vanessa girl.

"I think it freaked him out a little," Bella confessed, and she was about to say something else when the person coming through the front door caught her eye.

"Bella?"

Heart pounding, Bella tried her best to focus back on the woman in front of her.

"Sorry about that, Becca. Just thought I saw someone I knew."

Frowning, Rebecca turned to see who'd been coming in; she saw a tall man in his mid-forties near the entrance, and a seventy-something short woman reaching the end of the line. She wondered which of these people had startled Bella, but something about the look in her eye made her weary of asking. Bella, as friendly as she was, never spoke a word about herself; Rebecca didn't know what books Bella had written, didn't know how old she was, if she'd known Edward for a long time or if she lived with her parents. What Rebecca knew about Bella was limited to what she knew from other people.

Not that it bothered Rebecca. Much.

"You ok? You look a little shaken, Bella," Rebecca frowned, noticing that the girl had gone a little pale(r). Bella, again, shook it off.

"I'm fine, Becca, sorry for worrying you," Bella blinked, and then her face went back to normal as if nothing had ever happened. Knowing she shouldn't, Becca let it go, somehow knowing her prying wouldn't be well received. She preferred keeping the peace.

Their morning coffee ended half an hour later, when Solomon (Rebecca's husband) called while panicking about the school calling him that their youngest kid had stuck bubble gum on another little girl's hair. With a frantic apology, Rebecca fled, hoping she wouldn't have to spend the rest of her morning apologizing for a seven-year-old's actions.

Bella remained in her seat, looking out the window with a sigh. Her mind hadn't returned to the conversation, truth be told, and had instead gone back to many years before.

* * *

 _Many years ago_

* * *

"Yo Swan, you dropped something!" Bella heard, and turning to look back at the floor, she saw nothing. Looking up, she found her group of stoner friends laughing madly. "My bad! Thought I saw your hymen down there!"

They howled with laughter, and instead of concerning herself too much with them, Bella just settled for flipping them the bird. "Fuck you!" She hollered back, stumbling a bit but managing to catch herself.

Eyes red and feeling quite hungry for something greasy, Bella decided that she needed to go back to the house to get some money; she was always a bit paranoid and never carried much with her, so she always had to go find her secret stash when she ran out. Not that it was far away; she was a bus stop away and their hangout spot was a stone's throw away from the stop. So she managed to stumble her way through, only falling down once as she went; worst thing was she couldn't even attribute her falls to being high. She was just that fucking clumsy.

When her bus came, Bella stumbled her way on, hitting her shin on a step but recovering smoothly. The driver didn't care —his face said so— and she chose to move to the middle of the bus and grab a handle instead of sitting down. She stood next to a forty-something guy.

" _God_ , you smell," the guy scrunched his nose up and coughed, looking up at the fifteen year old with disdain. "Weed'll do you in, girl. It ain't good for you."

Scoffing, Bella sneered at him and flipped her hair.

"Fuck you old guy, no one asked you," Bella hissed, wobbling a bit along with the bus. "And guess what, you fucktard? I _hope_ it does me in. Then I wouldn't have to deal with shit-ass comments like yours."

That was all they had time for; the bus was already nearing her stop, so Bella moved away from the handles and towards the doors in the back. She didn't bother sparing the guy another look; she stared straight ahead as the bus came to a stop, opened its doors and let her out. As the bus pulled away, Bella muttered to herself about the stupidity of adults, thinking how little they knew about teenagers and how quick everyone was to judge.

Her high almost gone, she stomped all the way to the house. She stomped while thinking of the asshole on the bus, and she stomped while thinking of the dickwads in the hideout. They all thought she was some kind of slut, just because she lost her virginity to one of them a few weeks ago. The whole experience had been underwhelming, and so she'd decided that she didn't really need to do it again to know if she liked it. Why her mother had charged for the service was clear to her: getting money out of the act was the only way to possibly think it was enjoyable.

"Who the fuck are you?" Bella barked at the old lady just standing in front of her foster care house; house, because in no shape or form was it a home. The woman was short, with gray and brown hair to her waist and a hippy skirt to go with it. Bella had only been two months in the new house, but she already hated it; she also knew well enough by now who belonged to the shithole and who didn't. This woman, no matter which way Bella saw, had absolutely nothing to do with the place.

The old lady, who'd had a finger poised over the doorbell, jumped at the rude voice.

"Now listen here…" The woman began, probably about to tell Bella off, when she turned around and locked eyes with Bella. To the young teen's confusion, the woman gasped out loud.

"What?"

Did she _look_ as high as she'd felt a few minutes ago?

The woman took a few steps away from the front door and towards Bella, seemingly lost in her own world. Perhaps she was on something, too? Bella stayed rooted in place as the hippy walked closer to her, feeling incredibly uncomfortable about being the target of the woman's interest.

"What?" Bella asked again, and this time it wasn't with as much snark as with confusion. The lady came to a stop about a foot away from her, much too close in Bella's opinion.

"You're the spitting image of Charlie," the woman said, not making much more sense to Bella.

"Charlie who?"

The question snapped the woman back into reality; upon closer inspection, Bella could see that the woman's eyes had watered. Lines marred her forehead and eyes, perhaps not the happy type but the sad. Not that she cared.

"Charlie Swan, my son and your father."

Bella's eyes immediately hardened, looking at the woman now not as a stranger but as an enemy.

"I don't _have_ a fucking father. I never have and I never will." Bella straightened her back, ready to barrel past the woman. "I've got to go. Hope I never see you again."

Bella made a move to shove past the lady, but a hand clamped over her wrist in such a tight grip that she could not move another inch. Damn, she didn't expect that.

"My name is Helen Swan. I know you're Isabella Marie Swan, daughter of Renée Higginbotham and Charles Swan. Your father—"

"Listen lady, I don't know why you know me, but you better go before I call the police. You've got five minutes to leave before I call the cops."

Bella was bluffing. She knew the cops would bust the high orphan before the old tramp.

Showing absolute confidence in herself, the lady just straightened her back like Bella had.

"Now you listen here, Isabella. You can either choose to believe me or choose to run away from reality. But I came here with the sole purpose of seeing my grandchild at least one more time before I die. I know it's _you_ , Isabella, because I hired a private investigator. I know Renée died tragically when you were eight, and I know you might not remember my son because he died when you were less than a year old. Give me a _chance_ to tell you about my son. To know _something_ about you that an investigator can't tell me."

The woman's eyes were so lonely, so heartbroken that… Bella couldn't help it. She did what she didn't think she'd ever do.

"You have five minutes. When the time's up I go in the house and we never see each other again. Deal?"

Looking like she'd had the wind knocked out of her, the woman nodded slowly, sadly. Bella walked them over to the bench that sat in front of the house. As soon as the lady had finished sitting down, Bella sat on the other end of the bench, back rigid. She looked straight ahead.

"Talk."

And so the woman did. For five minutes, Helen Swan talked about her son called Charlie and her daughter-in-law called Renée. Charlie had been a police officer, Helen said, and a damned good one at that. He'd loved what he did, so much so that he died in the line of duty; protecting a teenager during a shooting, the lady said. Charlie loved nothing more than his job, except his wife and daughter. His wife had been an artist, the woman said; full of joy, creative, always bringing life to Charlie's monotone days. They'd met on a rainy day when the police officer had fallen on his ass in front of the pretty woman, who'd helped pick him and his heart up. They'd married in less than a year and given birth to a beautiful baby girl three years into their marriage. When Charlie died, Renée disappeared with their baby girl; nobody knew where the widow had fled to, if the child was alright, if she'd ever recovered from the loss. Helen Swan had done her best, along with her now deceased husband, to find the mother and child to no avail. Years went by with no news, not until Helen's husband died and she was diagnosed with breast cancer shortly thereafter. It was until then that Helen decided to try again; she wanted to see if she could finally find her daughter-in-law and grandchild. Two months ago, Helen said, she finally had the answers she needed: that Renée was dead, that Isabella had never been adopted and instead jumped around in the system. That she had a history of being a problematic child. It took her all this time, but Helen was finally here: meeting her grandchild one last time before the cancer took her away was a must in her bucket list.

Then the five minutes were up. Bella never once turned to look at her supposed grandmother, not knowing what would happen to her resolve if she turned. Breathing deeply, high completely gone, Bella replied to the tale.

"I don't know the Renée you speak of; I only know the crackwhore that locked me in my room so I wouldn't hear her fuck the next client. And I don't know a Charlie; my mother never once mentioned him, not even in passing," Bella lied about the last part, feeling something nasty and broken well up within her. "I'm sorry your husband died, and I'm sorry you're sick. But not enough to tell you I'll stick by you till your last days, because I'd be lying then. I don't know you, and I don't _want_ to know you. It's too late now."

Bella stood up, still looking straight ahead. Strangely enough, she felt her heart pounding furiously in her chest. A bad aftertaste was in her mouth, as if she shouldn't have said that.

"Deal's a deal. Five minutes are up, and I'm going inside," Bella declared.

She heard sniffling, but still didn't look down. She wouldn't.

"Oh, I'm sorry this is the hand life dealt you. If I'd known earlier…" Helen sniffled, making a pause to catch her breath. "Oh, Charlie will never forgive me. The life you could've had, Isabella. This is all on me."

Something possessed her to reply one last time. Maybe it was because this woman was probably truly related to her, or perhaps because she was going to die soon.

"It's Bella. And, all of _this_? It ain't your fault. It's my mother's, and perhaps God's. And also, something the investigator might not have told you is… I love writing. I think it's the only thing I'm good at." Bella cleared her throat. "Goodbye, Helen."

As Bella dragged herself back into the house, she thought she heard the woman cry her own goodbye —but she didn't look back, and so she was never sure.

* * *

 _Present day_

* * *

Bella was brought back to reality by her phone ringing. She realized that a couple of tears had slipped from her reminiscing, and she quickly dabbed at them as she answered the call.

"Hello?"

 _"Bella! I'm so glad I managed to get a hold of you. How are you?"_

Bella smiled.

"Hey Leah. I'm doing very well, thank you. How are _you_?"

Her adoptive sister sighed.

 _"Oh, you know, doing the rounds about Halloween invitations and stuff. I thought we weren't gonna make an event this year, but Laury suddenly said he'd be in charge of it all and wondered if you'd like to come this year. We know this isn't your idea of a good time, but…"_

Bella scoffed.

"Not my idea of a good time? I'll be able to see all of you on the same day, that's already incredibly good to me. Of course I'm going."

Leah sighed in relief.

 _"Oh that's great, because Laury promised to hang me by my tits if I didn't get you to come. Or so he says, ya know."_ Leah laughed, making Bella smile. _"Please actually come, though."_

Get food poisoning twice and never be trusted again.

"I'll do my very best."

 _"And also, your hunk's invited. Tanya said she didn't want to invite her brother as a family member, but as your date. Ergo, you've got to invite him."_

Oh boy.

Which reminded her…

"Oh God, are his parents gonna be coming, too?" Edward's parents were Tanya's parents, after all, so it would only be logical that they'd be invited too, right? Despite the many years of marriage, Bella had yet to meet Laurent's in-laws, always managing to miss them one way or another. Despite wanting to meet Edward's parents, she thought that maybe meeting them roughly two weeks after their first date could be a bit too soon for her.

Leah was quick to put her at ease.

 _"Oh, Dr. and Mrs. Cullen can't come to the Halloween party, Tanya already said. Apparently Dr. Cullen has a congress during that week in Vancouver and Mrs. Cullen is going with him on a mini-vacation or something."_ Leah said, thinking with a dreamy sigh of the handsome doctor and his beautiful wife.

Bella sighed in relief.

"That's good. I didn't want to meet them for the first time wearing a Halloween costume," Bella admitted. "Are they nice? I've never met them."

Leah chuckled.

 _"They're the_ nicest _couple you'll ever meet, I swear. Tanya's a mega bitch compared to them, and you know how much I like her."_ Leah suddenly started muttering to herself. _"Shit, speak of the devil. I think she's calling me to hound me down or something. Talk to you later, Belle!"_

Then the line went dead.

Bella chuckled to herself; Leah Clearwater was definitely something else.

* * *

"We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas, and a happy new year!"

"Bella, I swear to fucking God, December is still like two months away and you've been singing Christmas carols since July." Alice grumbled as she opened the door to Bella's apartment, having heard her friend sing from the open windows. She found her best friend in an oversized t-shirt and dancing around the counter to —surprise— the music in her head. Alice felt herself smirk. "Are you in your pajamas already, woman? It's only five in the afternoon."

On Tuesdays Alice usually got out a bit earlier from school, so she had enough time to swing by Bella's before her mother demanded her presence back in the house. Independently of whether or not Bella was home, Alice usually came by.

"Oh, yeah, it's just that I spilled tomato sauce on my shirt so I decided I might as well put on pajamas," Bella said, smiling widely at her friend. "I'm making ravioli. Want some?"

Alice rolled her eyes dramatically.

"I am offended you would even ask, Swan," Alice said, dumping her school bag by the front door and stepping into the kitchen area. "Smells good."

Bella smiled in response, grabbing the extra plate and utensils.

Alice squinted at her friend.

"What's wrong, Bell? You seem off."

Bella was usually quite energetic, and it wasn't weird for her to sing Christmas songs in October or cook ravioli on a regular Tuesday evening. But it _was_ unusual for her to not have set out an extra spot for Alice, knowing better than anyone that the younger girl never passed up dinner and always let Bella know if she wouldn't be able to make it.

Bella's shoulders slumped, and she turned with a sheepish smile to face her best friend. Nothing ever got past Alice Brandon.

"I was having coffee with Rebecca Black in the morning," Bella began, and though the name didn't ring a bell, Alice didn't say so: Bella was often meeting new people, and she'd stopped long ago keeping track of all of them. A small part of her wondered, though, if this Rebecca Black was the same as the annoying girl from the one-hit wonder Friday. "When I thought I saw Helen come in. I'm still a little rattled."

Alice frowned, the name not ringing a bell either.

"Helen?"

Bella looked away, seeming to find a spot near the fridge that begged for her attention.

"Helen Swan, my father's mother." Bella mumbled, shifting on her spot to lean her weight on her left leg.

"Are you sure it wasn't her?" Alice gulped, not knowing what would happen to her best friend if she found her old family member.

Bella nodded.

"Positive. Helen... she died four months after she visited me. I tried apologizing, back when I started getting accommodated with the Clearwaters, but..." Bella trailed off with a small shrug.

"You know, you never did tell me what you spoke about," Alice recalled; she'd only been ten at the time, and Bella had seemed so upset after mentioning the incident that she hadn't dug further. The subject had never been brought up again.

This seemed to remind Bella of the salad, because she started pulling out lettuce, tomato, olive oil and other things for making it. Alice didn't push, knowing that Bella had a hard time being honest and looking people in the eye while doing so.

"She told me that my father was a police officer; he died in the line of duty. That my mother, who'd been an artist, couldn't recover and fled with me. That she only found out about her... death... a couple of months before visiting me." Bella closed the fridge, still not looking back at her best friend. She was feeling so very shameful for her past misdeeds. "I'd been... high and in a bad mood. I told her I never wanted to see her again."

The last part didn't surprise Alice; she remembered what kind of person Bella had been, and much as it pained her, the event _did_ sound like the teen Bella was with other people. It surprised her, though, what Bella said about her parents; Alice had always remembered the first and last time she'd asked the older girl about her father:

 _"He hightailed it out of there. Why wouldn't he? His wife was a whore and a drug addict."_

Alice had been nine when she'd asked, but the answer had never left her. Back then, she hadn't quite understood what Bella had been saying, but hadn't dared to ask; the angry set to her mouth and furious eyes had been enough of a deterrent for the young kid.

"Oh, Bella," Alice sighed, rounding the kitchen island and coming up to the older girl to give her a tight hug. Her head fit underneath Bella's chin with how small she was, and when Bella's arms came around her, Alice was reminded of all those times when, as a kid, Bella had endlessly comforted her whenever she cried. "You've changed, friend. Don't get stuck in the past."

Bella sighed, hugging Alice back tightly.

"There's always a little voice in my head, you know? Telling me people don't change, that I'm so fake and that I could always go back to the old me. Edward told me it doesn't make sense to worry beforehand, and that my conditions changed so much I could change again even if I turned back. But... I don't want to hurt anyone if I lapse. I couldn't live with myself if I hurt Seth or any of the Clearwaters, or you, or if I hurt Edward and Alex. It hurts me every time I remember who I'd been."

Alice felt something hot on top of her head, and horrified, she separated from Bella to see she was crying. Bella had broken a _bone_ and she hadn't cried. What the hell?

"Oh my God, Bella, you're crying!" Alice gasped, her eyes so wide they nearly popped out of her head. Bella laughed, remembering she hadn't told her best friend of the latest development.

"I also cried the day I was told about Harry's death, and how he wanted to adopt me. I've been able to cry every once in a while since then, you know." Bella sniffled, but Alice was still so horrified over the new development it took her a couple of moments before she could reply with a halfhearted smile.

"You know, I always thought if you ever cried again it would be like in the movies, where you'd have cried because a boy broke your heart or because you realized you loved him so much. _And_ it'd be a _single_ tear that fell down your cheek, because obviously misery comes in ones."

The two girls laughed, because despite their tragic beginnings they'd never seen themselves as the melodramatic lead of a movie. Bella hadn't played the angsty teen who reformed herself on purpose, and Alice never thought to rebel against her new, loving family. The two of them had crossed paths after having lived through different events, and perhaps because they'd found each other they could be here today, whole and happy. Alice had told Bella that Jasper was her soulmate, but she thought she and Bella were the same soul parted in two. She thought (and hoped) that they'd found themselves because the two parts needed to be whole again. Perhaps God (whom she held a much more troubled relationship with than Bella did) had made up for His fuckups with the two girls by putting them together.

This was the endless romantic in Alice speaking.

"You might be kidding, but I thought so, too," Bella laughed, hugging the smaller girl again tightly. "I love you, Alice Brandon. Thank you."

Without even having said anything, Alice had already blown away her fears. This because she reminded Bella of the latest development: her tears. Bella Swan at fifteen could never cry, not in her wildest dreams —this Bella Swan let the dam break if she so wished, because the numbness of everyday life had passed and instead a new warmth had settled on her heart.

"I love you too," Alice mumbled, squeezing hard. "I wish I could love my boyfriend this much."

Bella frowned, again separating the two.

"Boyfriend?"

Alice suddenly broke out in the biggest, cheesiest smile Bella had ever seen on her.

"Oh yeah. Jasper's mine now, bitch."

* * *

"And then she suddenly told me she was dating Jasper!" Bella shook her head in disbelief, leaning her head back against her seat. "To say she surprised me would be an understatement. She said they've been dating since Saturday, and that since she wanted to tell me in person she waited until Tuesday. I'm so happy for her, but wow, I didn't know she was capable of sitting on such big news for so long."

Edward chuckled softly.

It was Friday afternoon and Edward had come to pick up Bella, all nervousness and silence. The moment Bella had emerged from her apartment, all rosy cheeks and t-shirt like blue dress with blue Converse, he'd been left wordless. How beautiful she was and how big tonight was suddenly hit him; the fact that she seemed to notice and cut him some slack in expecting replies from him emphasized for him the difference between a young, kind, beautiful woman and an old, grumpy fart. Tanya had spent the whole week calling him every day to remind him thirty wasn't old, he could smile on occasion and he wasn't a fart. She'd literally consoled him with those exact words.

"I'm glad she had her happy ending," Edward managed to spit out, because he truly felt that way. He remembered the inconsolable crying from the day he'd gone with Bella to pick up the pixie girl, so to hear it had ended well really made his paternal side glad.

"Me too. I don't remember the last time I saw her so happy," Bella admitted, but then reflected on her words. "Well, no. I guess I do; when she got adopted I think that's the happiest Alice has ever been."

Edward wanted so badly to ask something, _anything_ about her own time in the foster care system, but being so nervous and talking of such a delicate subject made it difficult. So, for the moment, he chose not to say anything more on that subject.

"Does she like the parents that adopted her?" Edward asked, despite it all wanting to know more about the pixie.

Bella nodded.

"They're great people, and they were very patient with Alice in her transition from 'orphan' to 'daughter' again. They might not be her biological parents, but I know Alice thinks about them from the bottom of her heart as real." Her love for them was probably what kept her on the right track as Bella had spiraled down. Not wanting to think much more of it, Bella changed the subject. "So, where are you taking us?"

 _And_ the nerves were back.

Clearing his throat, Edward grabbed the wheel tightly and readjusted himself in the driver's seat.

"I'm taking you to my house. I know you haven't been there, and since you'd been asking to visit for a while…" Edward blushed, suddenly realizing what a terrible idea this all was. "Sorry, should I have chosen something different?"

Smiling brightly, Bella shook her head. She was touched.

"Not at all. I'm very happy you chose to let me into your home. If you'd told me, though, I could've probably driven there." Bella said, feeling sorry that now he'd probably trouble himself by driving her back. Edward, though, begged to differ.

"No fucking way, Bella. I'm not making a woman drive home at night by herself." Edward suddenly groaned, wanting to kick himself. "Did I sound sexist?"

Bella giggled.

"Just a bit, but I get what you mean. I _do_ get a bit scared stopping at red lights at night," Bella said, thinking of how it wasn't unheard of that a woman would get assaulted while making a stop at night. She didn't think that she'd be safer if she was a man, but she did think she wouldn't worry so much about anything other than a robbery happening to her. Besides, it was always calming to have a man the size of Edward there beside her; she doubted thieves were all that scared of her.

"Good," Edward sighed in relief. As always, Bella didn't mind his foot-in-mouth tendencies, which was a relief; he'd always had this problem, and it put him at ease to know this woman wouldn't chastise him for it every time.

"Is Alex at home?" Bella asked, genuinely worrying over where her little friend was. Edward gave her a relaxed grin, seemingly pleased with himself.

"Nah, he's staying the night at my parents'. They'd been wanting to see him and I thought this was the perfect opportunity."

Which reminded Bella.

"Oh, also, you're invited to Laurent's Halloween party. I'm pretty sure you already know, but Tanya wanted _me_ to ask you for some reason."

That conniving little shit.

"Oh fuck you Tanya," Edward muttered to himself, so low that Bella couldn't hear. When she asked what he'd said, Edward didn't repeat himself. "My sister thinks she's doing us both a favor. She told me to ask you, but I didn't want to pressure you or anything so I told her—" to shove it "—she had to ask you directly."

Bella shrugged.

"I don't mind it at all. I was only nervous about your parents attending, but Leah said they won't be coming."

It was so odd for Edward to hear Bella speak of people he thought were more related to him, a few months ago, than to this woman.

"Nah, dad's got a congress. I don't think you'd want to meet them wearing a Halloween costume, anyway."

"That's what _I_ said!" Bella laughed, amused by their similar way of thinking. "I mean, what if I wore something too silly and your parents thought I was just a foolish girl?"

Amused, Edward chuckled at her speculation; it was funny to him that Bella's first choice of costume worries was 'silly' and not 'inappropriate'. It was also to be expected; he was pretty sure he'd never seen Bella wear anything more revealing than her tank top and skirt from the first time they'd met; on the boob front, she had the perky tits of a twenty-something woman (so she was never flashing cleavage or anything), and on the ass front he never saw her wear anything shorter than a hand above the knee (he was pretty sure she'd look fantastic in a mini skirt but would probably flash too many people her panties). In other words, Edward had dreamt _quite_ often of her banging body (pun intended). Already he'd had five wet dreams (and counting) as well as three occasions during which he'd been spacing out while thinking about what he could confidently say was the best sex of his life. This woman was invading his unconscious _and_ subconscious.

"Whatcha thinking about?" Bella suddenly asked, making Edward's heart stutter in his chest. When he didn't immediately answer, Bella got even more curious. "You suddenly went off in your own world."

Edward wanted to fake a coughing fit, but he was driving and that could be dangerous. Instead, he went with what stupid men who were flustered by women they liked did: he told the truth.

" _That_ night," Edward said, refusing to turn to look at her. Bella saw that his ears were red, as was his neck. Despite the sudden discomfort in the air, Bella took the moment to relish in how cute his reaction was.

"Why so suddenly?"

"Uh, one thing led to the other, and…" Edward trailed off, taking from Bella's dead silence that she wanted further explanation. "It's just, since you mentioned that you were worried about meeting my parents wearing a silly costume, I thought it was funny you didn't think first about a hypothetical situation where you were using an inappropriate one. So I just kinda… spiraled down from there."

Bella wasn't sure she'd ever seen Edward so red, but she was really glad. She decided to push.

"Do you think about that night often?"

 _Would you look at that? He can blush harder._

"Uh… I— I mean, what w—would you—" Bella put him out of his misery, simply laughing it off.

"I'm just teasing you, Edward. But for the record, _I_ think about that night frequently." Bella said this lightly, as if she wasn't aware of the massive heart attack the man beside her was suffering. She continued. "But I just want to be clear, I'm not ready for that right now, alright? I don't think I could handle another morning-after like the one we had."

Edward flinched.

"I'm—"

"Edward, I'm not seeking another apology. I just want to be honest with you and myself. I'm not ready, and I don't think you are, either."

Edward nodded, knowing that this woman deserved a hundred apologies more instead of the measly one he'd given her.

Soon after Edward was pulling up in front of a brownstone. There was no driveway, only the street to park in, as Bella could see from the other houses that also had their cars parked in front. She thought the street looked beautiful, being mostly deserted of people and having lamp-posts lining up the sidewalk. In front of the row of townhouses was a huge park; she thought she could spot a fountain, a playground and a few benches. It made the writer in Bella itch; she'd always loved writing in parks, and this one particularly called to her.

"This is a lovely street," Bella praised, making Edward swell a little bit in pride. Lauren had hated the house so much she hadn't even tried to keep it with the divorce —as a matter of fact, she'd hated everything he had so much she'd kept nothing. Not even their son.

"Thanks. Sunday mornings are especially fun around here because a lot of kid-friendly performances show up in the park; at night, the lamp posts make a path that seems endless. I can show you later, if you like."

Bella nodded happily.

The next twenty minutes consisted of Edward showing Bella his house; he showed her the living room, the kitchen, the small backyard, the bathrooms, Alex's room and his (well, they skimmed over it). He even showed her the part of the house he'd claimed had been getting fixed that first day they met: a corner of the living room had moldy wooden planks, and the people who'd come in to fix it had claimed they needed to replace almost all the wood in the living room, making it inhabitable. Edward even showed Bella the difference in the wooden floor from the living room and the small foyer. She thought it was cute that he was trying so hard to convince her he hadn't lied, when she'd never thought he had in the first place.

"Your house is so lovely, Edward," Bella complimented by the end of the tour, thanking him when he opened the revolving door to the kitchen for her. Honestly, she was glad he had, because she had a history of getting hit back with them.

"Thanks," Edward said, obviously embarrassed. He really liked his place, and thought it was worthy of being shown around, so he resented Lauren making him question himself. But her compliments, which were always genuine, made him glad. He coughed once, wanting to steer the subject away from the house already. "So, I made us dinner. I hope that's ok."

The way Bella's eyes lit up, he knew she was most definitely ok with it.

"But I had help," Edward finished blurting out, wanting to be honest about the night as much as he could. "I mean, I don't burn cereal like my sister does, but I'm definitely not a chef or anything like that. So… I kind of, um… asked Emmett to help me."

Bella's eyebrows rose in surprise.

"I didn't know Emmett cooks. Rose never said, although it does make sense. She hates doing household chores." Bella said, remembering one of her conversations with her editor where the words 'not a fucking maid' popped up about five times every two minutes. After that, Bella had refrained from asking again; it wasn't as though she didn't understand her, either. Folding the laundry was no walk in the park for Bella, either, who always felt incredibly bored while doing it. She wouldn't say she hated it, but she definitely felt she could use her time doing other things.

"Yeah, I know. I still remember when Emmett and Rose started living together and he'd call me crying every week in between about how Rose had turned their apartment into a pigsty. I think he's just given up by now, though," Edward said, grabbing a pitcher of cold water from the fridge; everything else was already set up in the dining room. "Anyway, I hope that you don't get food poisoning. A big part of me's pretty sure Alex has a stomach made of steel after all the years of me cooking for him."

Bella laughed, grabbing the water when Edward handed it to her; he needed to heat up the food he'd left in the microwave.

"Oh, I'm sure that Emmett helped balance you out. I mean," Bella joked, laughing harder when Edward gave her the stink eye. She escaped his glare by running to the dining room, setting the water down on the table. She thought the arrangement was very pretty; the dining table fit eight people, three on each side and one at each end. Edward had placed the plates at the head of the table and right next to it. Her seat was at the head, as evidenced by the blue rose laying next to the glass of wine, the only type of alcohol she drank (and had told Edward about). She was marveling at the rose when Edward came out with a steaming round Pyrex in his hands.

It smelled wonderful, making her stomach growl.

"Oh, what's that?"

He set it down on the table.

"Um, you see, Emmett went to Central America for his honeymoon, and Rose liked the beef stew so much that Emmett learned from the locals how to do it, and it's his best dish to the date. So, to play it safe, I asked him to help me with making it. It's basically like soup with beef, carrot, potato, sweet potato, squash and rice. It's—"

Bella's eyes were lit up in such happiness that Edward broke off to chuckle.

"Oh, I've eaten that at their place! I _loved_ it, but they never made it again! Geez, I'm so glad you're friends with Emmett," Bella said happily, now knowing why her stomach seemed to recognize the smell.

Edward breathed in relief; one issue, at least, had been cleared. Whether or not she'd like the food had been a constant worry for him throughout the week.

"Well, I can make it for you whenever you like," Edward said, and the statement was so smooth Bella felt a little arrow be shot through her chest. If she'd been a cartoon, the audience would've been able to see her heart melt into goo at her feet.

"Thank you," Bella smiled widely, and when Edward finally sat down beside her, she took the moment to thank him for the gift. "The rose is beautiful, too. Thank you so much."

Edward felt his face heat up.

"I wasn't sure if you liked flowers," Edward admitted.

Honesty was always the best policy.

"Well, I never buy them for myself, but I'm happy to receive them from you. Thoughtful gifts always make me happy."

What Edward heard was, 'Thanks, but once is good enough'. Noted. He was glad; he'd always thought buying flowers was too generic a gift, but because he didn't know Bella enough yet to say what would make her happy, he was still going through trial and error.

Edward hummed in acknowledgement of her words.

"Can I help myself? It looks really good," Bella said, her eyes zeroed in on the beef stew. Lips twitching in amusement, Edward gave a nod.

"Of course."

And so dinner begun.

* * *

 **So, I managed to squeeze out another chapter even though I was pretty much dying from a cold (which, I'm pretty sure, was the flu) until the middle of the week. Thing is (I don't know if this is the first or nth time I mention this) I'm a med student, so I'm currently rotating in a pediatric hospital and _man_ , do kids pass on bitch-rated colds. Last Saturday I could hardly move. Anywho, if you'll notice I cut off their date a bit, but that's because it'd make this chapter eternal if I didn't. I'll continue where we left off next chapter, worry not. I should be able to post the next chapter by, like, Friday, and if not then bear with me cause I'm going to the beach for Easter (cue sunglass-wearing emoji). Also, thanks so much to everyone who wished me to do well in midterms! I did, mostly. Funny story: for one test I got only one question out of twenty-five wrong. I was already starry-eyed thinking I had a ninety-six when... _Surprise_! That question was worth ten points. Honestly, it was so heartbreaking I actually had to laugh at my situation. Have a great week! **

**Leah.**


	7. The Art of Being Subtle

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

* * *

" _No!_ "

"Yes," Edward nodded mock-solemnly, sipping at his own glass of wine. He was far more relaxed by now than at the beginning of their date. "I mean, I warned him _so_ many times, but the fucking idiot just decided to take a piss in the middle of the woods. Everyone knows you don't do that shit."

Bella kept laughing; so _this_ was the story of how Emmett got ivy poisoning on his penis when he was a senior in high school. Rose had alluded to the story a few times, but every single time someone (or Emmett's glare) had interrupted her. Now, Bella usually found stories like this horrifying, but since she knew Emmett was fine and that he'd really been almost asking for it… the guilt over laughing never settled on her heart.

"What about you? Nothing like that ever happened to you or one of your friends?"

Bella paused for a moment to think about it.

"I remember _hearing_ once… so I'm not totally sure… but it was about Laurent," Bella begun, already chuckling to herself while remembering. "He went skinny dipping with some college friends to some dubious lake. Leah says he had a leech attached to his penis and another to his butt."

Edward tried not to, but the more he pictured Laurent Clearwater with a leech on his dick the harder it got, until he eventually he roared out in laughter. He had the kind of laugh that startled people, but also the kind Bella wished other people saw more of; he laughed without apprehensions, genuinely, banging his hand on the table and even stomping his foot on the floor. He'd never been to laugh much; he'd always known he was a bit boisterous when he laughed, and his family members and past girlfriends had always grown embarrassed when he laughed this way in public. But as with everything else, Bella was different; she seemed to enjoy even more when he laughed this way, her eyes brightening up like Christmas lights. When they'd been at a nearby Pizza Hut having lunch one day, he'd laughed so hard he'd even knocked over a glass of Diet Coke all over the table and over Bella; he'd been so mortified his laughter had ended abruptly. Bella, after the shock of having something spilt on her, simply chuckled out the last of her laughter as she dabbed at the table with napkins so the liquid would stop spilling over on her lap. He'd apologized profusely, but Bella had waved him off and stated, in all seriousness, she preferred that laughter of his to his usual silence. It was then that he'd understood the marvels of people who rejoiced _with_ you, not in spite of you.

"Oh my God, that's genius," Edward finished his last couple of chuckles, noticing how Bella's chuckles had already died down. She was, instead, looking at the wall. For a moment, he didn't understand what was going on, so he asked her. "Whatcha lookin' at?"

Even as he asked, he followed her train of sight, his heart dropping all the way to the floor when he realized. Oh. _That_.

When Bella turned with surprised eyes, Edward knew the cat was out of the bag. There was no way he'd be able to avoid this conversation; it was fair, after all, for her to know what she was getting herself into.

"You know, I'm young enough that I don't ask myself if my eyes are deceiving me, but I wonder if I should." Bella teased, pointing at the big ass diploma above the hearth. "Yale Law School?"

Fuck man, Bella Swan had the visual acuity of a hawk. She could even read _that_?

Flinching, Edward nodded.

"Yeah, um. I kind of… am a lawyer." Edward paused, refusing to look directly into Bella's eyes. Instead, he focused on his polished glass of wine. "Was. I stopped practicing a year and a half ago."

Bella's eyebrows had climbed all the way to her hairline, not that he could see. He was quite good at avoiding her eyes.

"You made it seem as though you'd always been a mechanic," Bella stated, and though there was no accusation in her voice, Edward flinched. He did, in a way, lie by omission. She'd been honest with him from the very beginning about herself; being adopted, being an author, being a _best-selling_ author… She'd never hidden anything important, and Edward knew his past profession was kind of important in order to understand who he was today. He felt like her statement was a reminder: he'd always felt she was so far away from him, but at the end of the day, it was _him_ who held secrets.

"I… Can I explain?" Edward mumbled, staring at his reflecting on the glass. Bella's fingers covered his, making him meet her eyes. They were filled with kindness.

"Of course you can, you silly man. There's no rush."

And true to her word, Bella said nothing even as Edward took almost ten minutes to organize his thoughts. She just told him to breathe in and out, and as he regained his senses, realized she'd put away the dirty dishes and had probably taken them to the sink. Fuck, what a terrible host he was, making his date clear away the plates.

"Ok, I'm ready now," Edward said, turning to face Bella more head on. All that remained on the table was two glasses filled with water and their hands on top of each other.

"Alright," Bella said with an encouraging smile.

Edward took a deep breath in, then let it out. Time for honesty.

"I was always indecisive about what to study in college, but my parents wanted me to do _something_. Tanya'd had the same problem; by the end, she studied accounting because it seemed like she could put it to good use, though she wasn't passionate. She worked as an accountant straight out of college for about four years, but as you could probably guess, she was so miserable she ended up taking the position of secretary at Alex's music school. When I finished my major, I wasn't all that sure of what to do, either: dad wanted me to be a doctor, like him, and mom was just praying I actually picked something I liked. I'd found I enjoyed my debate classes, so my logical conclusion was I _must_ be meant to be a lawyer," Edward rolled his eyes at himself in good humor; Bella said absolutely nothing. "Remember, by this time I already had Alex, and Lauren pushed me to be something fancy like a lawyer. Doctors take longer anyway, she said, to start raking in money than lawyers. So, I listened to Lauren and became an attorney. I graduated quickly and entered a pretty well-known law firm. Before I knew it, I was a third-year associate on the fast track to becoming a partner in the future. Lauren was overjoyed, but I was miserable. I _hated_ going into the courtroom to defend people I knew were guilty, and I hated how some prosecutors brought up the worst of good people's past in order to humiliate and invalidate them. I hated going to work, and every time I went back home there Lauren was, spoiling Alexander into being the shittiest kind of brat. Fuck, Bella, I wanted to run across the globe to escape my family most days."

Edward took a moment, needing to throttle the feelings that were threatening to resurface. Feelings he'd fought hard to forget because nothing good ever came from them. He loved his son, he truly did, but back then… oh, the look Alex had given him every time he came home from work. One that _demanded_ things instead of asked, one that was _entitled_ instead of privileged.

"I… While in college, I'd started the car shop with a friend of mine. I had my trust fund from my grandparents and he had the time; everything was going very well until my friend said he couldn't handle the shop anymore. He sold me his shares and bailed. This was roughly two years ago, so for a while I was practically dead on my feet from managing the shop and going into work. My marriage with Lauren was already in shreds by then —since the moment she realized how much I loathed my job, she'd started realizing perhaps her future wasn't with me. The day I resigned from the law firm, it was the final nail in the coffin. She brought me the divorce papers a month after that, and within the next two weeks she was out of the house. I'd always known she wasn't with me because she loved me, but… it still hurt."

Bella still refrained from commenting, not knowing if there was something else Edward wanted to say. There was.

"This is me, Bella. A man who could've given his son a luxurious life but chose his own happiness instead. A man who would rather smell like oil rather than ink and money. A man who could never hope to be as successful as you."

Bella flicked his nose, startling him.

"What the—"

"Don't even start with me on success, Edward Cullen. Your life story and mine are completely different; you've done what you could with your circumstances and I've done what I could with mine. If you're saying this because your paycheck isn't as big as mine, then let me be clear that I do not _care_ how much money you make now or made three years ago. You're hardworking, honest, kind and smart —those are qualities worth much more to me than anything else."

She could see that dubiousness remained on his face, though.

"But—"

She wouldn't let him have this one.

"Edward. I grew up watching my mother have sex for money before I even understood _what_ sex was. Up until Harry and Sue took me in, I thought the best I could do was follow in my mother's footsteps; I'd have sex for money and get money to buy drugs. _That_ was what I grew up thinking I deserved. You, who've managed to see everything I am and still be willing to go on a date with me, are what I need. You're not lazy, or sleazy, or cunning or fake. You're a good, honest man, and no matter what anyone leads you to believe you're _not_ a dime a dozen." Bella's back grew straighter, more resolute. She leveled him one of her rare serious glares. "Now, either we're good enough for each other or we aren't. Which is it?"

Damn, and he'd thought _he_ was a good debater?

"You're perfect for me," Edward said softly, truthfully, melting away all ideas Bella had for a comeback. Her brain instead got stuck on his words, and goofily, she gave him a brilliant smile.

"Well, well, aren't _you_ the charmer?"

Dazed by her smile, but not dazed enough to forget, Edward brought Bella's hand up to his lips, laying a kiss on the back of it. Pleased, Bella felt the warmth spread all the way to her heart.

"You told me a little about your mother, Bella. Can you share more with me?"

Damn.

She'd needed to convey her point across so much she hadn't truly noticed she'd spoken of her mother. Still, she recognized how hard it must've been for Edward to open up about his painful past, and so Bella decided she'd return the favor as much as she could without feeling like she was breaking apart.

"Alright," Bella whispered, watching as Edward lowered her hand again. Without having noticed it, Edward had moved his chair closer until he was sitting practically in her chair; she found she rather liked the distance. "Just… I don't think I'll be able to tell you everything tonight. Is it alright if I share bits and pieces?"

Edward gave a sharp nod.

"As much as you're willing to share."

Bella smiled in gratitude.

"Let's see, where to begin? Hm… Alright. So. As I said, my mother sold herself for money, and she used that money to buy herself drugs. We were tight on money for as long as I could remember; my mother took me to the supermarket with her only about once a year or so because every time I went with her I'd throw a tantrum to get her to buy me new jeans or a new pair of shoes. All money went into her drug use, after all. She… Renée used to keep a crazy amount of pictures of my dad around the apartment —most of the two of them, a handful just of him and a few of the three of us. I was about a year old when he was out of the picture; up until I was fifteen I'd been under the impression that he'd jumped the gun, but it turns out he was shot in the line of duty. He used to be a cop, and my mother used to be an artist."

Bella glanced down at her hands engulfed by Edward's, feeling grateful for the heat.

A couple of moments passed before Bella was able to talk past the lump in her throat.

"Whenever my mother had… a _client_ … over, she'd lock me in my room. For hours at a time I wouldn't leave my room, not even to pee. I think she was scared that one of her clients would be depraved enough to hurt me; perhaps it's the one thing she was consistent in saving me of. In those long hours, I'd put on silent plays by myself. I think it was the beginning of me wanting to be a writer, though I forgot about this until high school, when we started having to write essays for Literature class and the like." Bella gave him a wobbly smile when she felt Edward tighten his hands on hers. "Edward, I... I've been an unhappy person for more than half of my life. Anger is an emotion I understand all too well, and inner peace is something I only found in recently. Some days I'm not sure if I ever truly found peace in God, or if I found a delusion that helps me sleep at night. I don't care either way, though, because the last five years I've been a person I never would've thought I could be. I _want_ you to know who I was, because I cannot deny myself. The best promise I can give you, though, is that I love my peace so much I will always steer clear of anything and anyone who might rob me of it, but most importantly, I promise to make sure _I_ can't rob myself of peace." Bella finally met Edward's eyes; he was listening to her intently. "That's why I want you to know I don't care about your job even though I know you probably care more than you're letting on. I can provide for myself, but I cannot give myself love. It's something I hardly know about, but you make me feel like I can understand it."

Bits and pieces kept falling into place for Edward as to the woman that Bella Swan was. This was the reason why he felt when he first met her that she was probably older than she seemed; this was the reason why she clung to the opium of the people, the reason why she'd seemed to not care so much about breaking up with her ex-boyfriend. She was, as she'd said, ignorant to love —something he wasn't. Edward had grown up wrapped up by warm hands; he was shown and told he was loved every day he'd been alive. By his father and mother, by his sister, his friends and even by his reluctant son. He'd never doubted he had people around him he could turn to in times of need; Bella, on the other hand, grew up alone. He imagined a little girl asking anyone to love her, and when her wishes were denied, deciding to bring hell to whoever she could. He imagined that Bella's story was the story of many people: misery loves company, he'd heard. That was the simple truth: those who were unhappy wanted others to be as unhappy, whether it was conscious or not. By rejecting her misery, Bella had welcomed people into her life.

It was hard for Edward to think of a woman he admired more.

"Can I kiss you?" Edward managed out; he saw surprise flash across her face but, thankfully, not unwillingness. Readily, Bella nodded once: she loved Edward's kisses.

So without thinking about it much further, Edward untangled their hands so he could cup Bella's neck; he leaned closer, they closed their eyes, and then Edward's lips were on hers. She'd be lying if she said there were fireworks, but her heart definitely picked up its pace. She wanted to laugh nervously from how happy she was, if that even made sense; the butterflies in her stomach were creating such havoc she felt like only laughing would lodge them out, but somehow, she found nothing funny in the situation, making her unable to hack out the feeling.

So they kissed, and Bella thought nothing else had ever felt so nice and pure.

(Except sex with Edward)

-.-

"Thank you so much for tonight," Bella said once Edward's car came to a stop in front of her apartment building. "I had an amazing time."

Edward gave her a smile.

"Me too. You know, I…" Edward swallowed hard, letting go of the steering wheel. He turned to face Bella, knowing he had to work on looking into people's faces when he was about to say something meaningful. "I don't speak with just anyone about the things I speak with you. I hope you don't think this sounds like a line, because it really fucking isn't, but… Things like my relationship with Lauren, the troubles I have with Alex, my job… I'm a very private person, so I just want you to know I don't take telling you about this lightly. I enjoy talking to you, be it about light things or heavy shit. I really hope you want to do this again."

Bella gave him such a radiant smile it seemed to put all her other smiles to shame.

"Silly Edward, _of course_ I want to do this again." Bella beamed at him, warming his heart. "As a matter of fact, why don't you come over for breakfast tomorrow?"

Edward thought this woman was a genius, and he emphatically nodded yes.

"Also… Thank you. I know from the last few months of knowing you how important it was, what you told me tonight. And I think it's pretty obvious, but I'll say it just in case: you're the only person I've ever told, apart from Alice, about my mother. What the Clearwaters know is from my file, but I've never been able to open up about that. You… you're so special to me, Edward Cullen. I hope you know that."

Every time he was with this woman, Edward felt the small and big tears in his heart attempt to stitch back together. Some people had that kind of presence, and the fact that he felt Bella's smiles were all for him made the impact that much greater. Increasingly, he was finding it more and more difficult to deny to himself how badly he wanted to be around Bella all the time. In the mornings he woke up from dreaming about her, and at night, he missed her laughter and conversation. Was it even possible? They'd met three months ago, and already he knew she was an irreplaceable presence in his life. He couldn't think of a single person who had warmed him from the inside out the way she had, or a person who made him like who he was more than this person who so clearly struggled with her own self-worth.

"You're special to me, too."

They kissed each other good night, then bid adieu. They each dreamt of the other, knowing that their happier days were only beginning.

* * *

October came and went much too quickly for Edward and Bella's taste.

The Halloween party at Laurent and Tanya's was a huge hit, one that had made Edward see a whole different side of Bella. She went dressed as, of all things… Chewbacca. Basically, it made him glad that his parents hadn't met his girlfriend wearing what looked to be like a top quality costume of a Wookie. One look at her and he could tell she'd invested _way_ too much in her outfit; _he_ knew it was fine because Bella basically farted cash and she never used it, but it'd be a hard situation to explain to people who weren't yet aware of her profession. He went the lazy way with his costume: he borrowed scrubs and a stethoscope from his dad for his costume and bought Alex a Pikachu onesie, which had honest to God his son's first choice. Alex was many things, but 'too cool' for anything was not one of them.

So the trio had met at the Clearwater household; Edward had been forced to arrive earlier in order to help his sister, and Bella had arrived a little late because she had to help Leah buy industrial amounts of candy (and alcohol). Though Bella hadn't touched a single drug in the last five years, quitting alcohol cold turkey had been a little harder —it got to the point where Bella had decided she didn't really need to completely abstain, but she _did_ limit herself to one or two glasses of wine or a cold beer during the summer. This meant that her alcohol tolerance had lowered to pretty much zero, so with just two glasses of wine she'd been pretty much out of commission. She'd laughed at absolutely everything people told her (even at their greetings) and had finished the night squinting through half-open eyes underneath her costume. She kept telling people she was there in body, but not in soul. The next day, Bella had told Edward she'd been sleep-deprived for three days because she'd been way too inspired to write, which had led to an incapacity to sleep; that, coupled with the alcohol, had turned her into a happy/sleepy drunk by ten p.m. Alex had been too stupefied by his grown friend's behavior and had gone trick or treating with Seth and Jane, a freckled thirteen-year-old who was Seth's childhood friend. The three had gone with Sue, who claimed she needed a break from all the human heat. After that night, Edward had confided in Bella he'd caught Alex saying Jane's name more times in a day than there were days of the week. Bella thought it was cute that Alex had a crush on the older girl, but judging from Edward's expression, she knew that he was troubled by how quickly children grew.

Overall, the relationship between Bella and Edward had advanced wonderfully as well. Bella was bringing lunch over practically every single day, and on the occasions she didn't Edward huffed and puffed the whole day. Some days, Edward brought Alex over after he'd closed the shop to have dinner with Bella, and whenever Alex spent the afternoon with Seth (and now, Jane) Edward would invite Bella over to his place. She'd even gone mountain hiking with the two, much to her surprise; she'd gone fully aware of the risk that she might not make it back, and to her delight, every time she'd been about to fall down Edward had grabbed her just in time. Even Alex had managed to catch her once; Bella had thanked him so much Edward had had to stop her, knowing his son would get a big head if he was praised _so_ incessantly. The only thing that seemed to put a damper on their relationship was the fact that they hadn't yet told Alex about their new status, wanting a little more time before having to explain themselves to the reforming ten-year-old boy. Bella was worried that Alex wouldn't be receptive to the change, and Edward was worried he'd have to go another year with an angry son.

They didn't know that Alex already knew.

As a matter of fact, Alex had known about his father and Bella probably even before _they_ knew about it. He'd known that Bella had been absent not just because of Seth's grandfather's death, but because something had happened while he'd been away. He was perceptive, and yet not given enough credit about it. Then again, he _was_ playing oblivious while he decided how he felt about it.

He'd had a deep discussion about what to do with Seth and the lovely Jane.

* * *

 _Halloween night_

* * *

"So, I think my dad is dating your aunt." Alex said once he felt enough out of earshot from Seth's grandmother. She was nice and all, but she'd probably report back to Bella.

Seth's eyebrows hiked into his hairline.

"Really? That's so cool," Seth grinned, but then cocked his head to the side. "Think?"

"Yeah, they aren't telling me anything, but anytime we meet they make eyes at each other all night long," Alex made a face and shuddered, recalling said stares. "Subtle, they are not."

"You don't seem happy about it," Jane chirped up; she was dressed in a onesie like Sully from Monsters, Inc., something that had personally enthralled Alex. Seth was dressed like a mummy, wrapped from head to toe in toilet paper. To each his own, he supposed.

Alex made another face.

"The thing is, Bella's my friend. It's weird having her date my dad. I mean, she could become my mom and stuff. I really like her, but I don't think I want another mom."

Seth rolled his eyes.

"Dude, you're _never_ gonna find a nicer person than my aunt. She never gets mad, unlike my mom _and_ my stepmom," Seth scrunched his face up. "Although I think Tanya's joking most of the time. Maybe."

Alex shuddered thinking about his aunt. _She_ was easy to anger. He loved her, but he couldn't imagine having her as a mom.

"I just... what if she doesn't like my dad anymore, and she dumps me like my mother did?"

Jane answered that one.

"I think it's your mom that's weird, Alex. Even for Seth it was different. Mean as Ms. Denali is, Seth still has to spend weekends with her. I've met Bella a handful of times, and even _I_ can tell she'd never leave you even if things didn't work out for her and your dad."

It hurt to hear, but Alex had always known his mother was the true culprit in all of this —not his father. He'd tried very hard to lay it all at his father's feet —he'd made his mother unhappy, so it must've been his fault. Therefore, his father deserved punishment over _his_ unhappiness. One of the main turning points for him had been during his piano recital when he'd overheard his dad and Bella speaking. He'd been looking for them, and a guard at the front told him she'd seen a couple go to the parking lot. He'd been about to call out to the two when he heard his name being spoken, so he'd hidden behind a car.

 _"What are you gonna do if she tries regaining her relationship with Alex?"_

 _"Lauren wouldn't do that. But if she did… Fuck, I don't know what I'd do then. She_ is _his mother, but she_ left _without so much as a goodbye. She can't just_ waltz in _whenever she fucking remembers she birthed a human child! I can't let her in only for her to walk out again, Bella. I can't. Alex is just barely starting to get his life back together."_

Alex hadn't stuck around to hear more. He'd known somewhere deep within that his mother hadn't run away from his dad, as Lauren had told him before leaving; he'd known somehow that his mother had run away from the _two_ Cullens, not just her husband. He'd suspected his mother felt she wasn't cut out for the job, too; sometimes, when the two had been left alone together, she'd awkwardly try to make conversation only to end up giving up when it became clear she wasn't the best at communicating with a child. Alex had been crushed every time, which made him value Bella all the more. She'd always treated him as a smart human being, not a dumb kid whose only topics of interest were eating and sleeping.

Besides, from what he knew of his dad, adults and children had pretty similar hobbies.

"But what can I do? That's my mom," Alex shrugged helplessly in answer to Jane's statement. "I know she kinda sucks, but I love her. And if I love someone like _that_ and feel this way after she ran away, I don't know what I'd do if _Bella_ left."

Seth sighed, feeling for his friend. He hadn't been around the previous Mrs. Cullen much (his stepmom and Lauren didn't get along _at all_ ), but from their interactions he'd always gathered that Alex was desperate for his mother to show him some expression other than a grimace. His Aunt Bella, on the other hand, lit up the room the moment she went in, and she knew how to make even the most boring of people interesting. People gravitated towards his aunt; he didn't remember a time where this wasn't the case, to be honest, although he'd heard from his dad a bit about his aunt's hard life growing up.

So, perhaps speaking more as a loving nephew than as a good friend, Seth answered.

"Dude, you've got two choices: you either tell your dad to break it off with my aunt, or you tell them you're fine with it. _I_ don't think you'd be happy with the first option, but that's up to you. My aunt is the coolest chick out there —sorry Jane— and you're really gonna regret it if your dad ends up dating someone else."

Alex squished his lips together, deep in thought.

"But what if I'm not all that ok with them together? Am I just supposed to deal with it?"

Jane smiled at Alex, bumping their shoulders together. His heart galloped.

"That's what love is about, silly. Making sacrifices. I'm sure your dad sacrifices something every single day for you; if Bella makes him happy, then shouldn't that make you happy, too?"

Before Alex had a chance to answer, Seth's grandmother had caught up to them and had started making all sorts of questions about what so and so kid was dressed up as. So Alex hadn't had a chance to answer, and the subject had come to an end.

* * *

 _Back to the present_

* * *

Jane's words had stuck with him for the ensuing weeks, knocking around in his head so much he felt like he was about to go crazy. True, he knew his dad sacrificed a lot more than he let on —but was Alex really expected to be ok with letting someone into his home? Letting in a friend and letting in your dad's significant other was different. One was hard and the other was damn near impossible. Never-mind the fact that Alex refused to imagine Bella as his new mother; he felt that was too much, too soon, and if he came to fall in love with the idea only to have the two break up before they'd even begun he didn't think he'd deal with it well.

Not that it mattered. He just heavily suspected that the two were dating, but it was no confirmation. He could've been panicking for nothing.

* * *

"We're dating."

Ah, damn it.

 _Seriously, God? I asked for one thing._

"Oh," Alex replied, simply staring at the nervous faces of his father and his supposed friend. They were in the local McDonald's after he'd all but begged his father to take them; Edward was pretty strict about no junk food in the house, and he'd already gone two weeks without indulging his sweet/junkie-for-fats tooth. It was about time that he begged to be taken to his second-favorite fast food restaurant.

Edward and Bella looked at each other, blinking slowly.

 _Oh? What the fuck do you mean by that, kid?_

Edward said nothing, and instead watched as his son sipped on his Sprite silently.

"Um, Alex… I know this might be too much to—"

Alex quickly interrupted Bella.

"I already knew." Alex admitted this without looking up at either adult. He kept the straw in his mouth, looking down at the soda. He suspected he was cross-eyed. "Well, suspected. But mostly knew."

The two exchanged another glance, wondering (guiltily) if they hadn't been as stealthy as they'd thought they'd been.

"You're not subtle," Alex answered the question in their heads. "At all."

Damn it.

"We haven't been dating long," Bella explained, feeling like she owed the little boy something. "Yesterday marks a month of us dating. We… we didn't know what would be best for you. If to tell you early on or until we'd been going out for a while. Your dad says you'd have been hurt if we took too long to tell you. Was he right?"

Alex flickered his eyes up to his father, whose eyes were trained like a hawk on him. Quickly, he averted his eyes. Too much.

"He was," Alex reluctantly admitted. He hated secrets.

A couple of minutes went by, none of them daring to talk yet. It was Edward who finally broke the silence, grabbing Alex's wrist to get his attention.

"Son," Edward said, and waited to continue until the boy lifted his eyes from the French fries. "What're you thinking?"

Alex, who hadn't yet mastered the art of speaking delicately, spoke his mind.

"I want you two to break up," Alex said, filling his cheeks with air and staring angrily at his father. "You're always taking away from me what I like. First mom, now my friend. You won't let me change schools, you never let me do what I want. You don't get to take my only friend, too."

Ah, so this was it. This was the funny feeling he hadn't been able to name when he'd been talking to Seth about his feelings on the relationship. He was still angry with his father —irrationally so— because if he wasn't at fault, then who was? Was he at fault for everything that went wrong in his life? He didn't want to be. Needed not to be.

He saw the hurt flash across his father's face, and the angry part of him was glad. The rational part, the one that knew he was needlessly hurting his dad, was disappointed in him.

"I've never intended to take anything away from you, baby," Edward said, and as gruff as he usually seemed, Bella could tell how heavy the words weighed on his heart. "I'm sorry if you feel that way."

Alex felt even shittier.

Under the table, Bella squeezed Edward's hand. She needed to be part of the conversation, too.

"Alex, your dad's not taking anything away from you. I'm not going anywhere."

Alex's scowl deepened even further.

"You want to be my _mom_ , not my friend."

Bella swallowed.

"Alex, believe it or not, I haven't thought that far ahead. Right now, all I know is I really like your dad, and I also really like you. I think being your mother would be a privilege, but I don't know if either of us is ready for me to take on that roll just yet." Bella squeezed Edward's hand so tightly she didn't know if he still had blood flowing. "But if you really, really don't want your father and I together… this is as far as we'll take it. Your dad would never knowingly hurt you, nor would I. Our first priority is making sure you're ok with this. If you aren't, it wouldn't feel right."

As Bella said this, Alex saw the way his dad's eyes kept flickering towards the side of her face; he wasn't that good at reading his dad, but he thought perhaps hurt kept passing through his expression. Hurt, and acceptance. Bella wasn't smiling, which spoke of how serious she was; she was even harder to read than his dad, but this time her eyes spoke of how badly she wanted him to ok the relationship.

"You'd really break up if I said so?" Alex asked, looking at each adult. They both nodded.

"I love you, son. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you," Edward said, being so brutally honest that Alex felt shame creep up on him. What was he doing, trying to separate them? He wasn't even that opposed to the two of them, not really. He kinda loved Bella already, and a small piece of him suspected he could even come to love her too much if she became his mother. It was the 'too much' that scared him; he wasn't used to loving people too much. It was easier to think he hated his dad, but most of him knew that he'd never truly hated his dad; he'd just missed his mom. No, not his mom: having two people he knew loved him.

As Alex pondered over these things, he thought perhaps he needed to think about his dad for once. He saw the man he admired looking nervous about the verdict, and he saw the woman he felt at peace with make her best to camouflage a troubled face. Seeing the two, he wondered if perhaps the excuse that he was a selfish kid wasn't good enough; maybe he was too aware of how he was troubling his dad and his friend to confidently tell them to break it up.

 _Don't you see how many of us care about you? It's up to you what becomes more important in your world —the destructive words of people you don't know, or the warm feelings of those of us closest to you._

Bella's words clanged around in his head. Was he willing to hurt these two? They always put him first, as evidenced by the choice in his hands. He loved his dad as much as he hated him sometimes, and he was coming to love Bella more and more.

 _"That's what love is about, silly. Making sacrifices. I'm sure your dad sacrifices something every single day for you; if Bella makes him happy, then shouldn't that make you happy, too?"_

Jane's words also clanged around in his head. His father was quite clearly willing to sacrifice his own happiness for him, but here he was thinking of breaking them apart. And the truth was his dad _was_ quite happy these days; he didn't seem so tired anymore, and he was more patient with his tantrums. He preferred the man sitting in front of him today than who he'd been a year ago —cranky from tiredness, lonely, overworked. Bella had made both of their lives better, so could he fault his dad for wanting Bella for himself?

As he looked at the two people in front of him, both painfully kind, Alexander Cullen decided he ought to be a better person.

"I'm not gonna ask you to break up," Alex finally said, startled when he heard two loud sighs of relief. Seriously? Was he _that_ bad?

He was, he realized.

"So, you're ok with us?" Bella ask, the hope in her voice obvious to anybody's ears. Alex slowly but surely nodded.

"So long as you keep hanging out with me."

Bella's heart warmed, and she reached her free hand out to grab on to Alex's small hand.

"I _love_ spending time with you, Alex. Nothing could keep me from hanging out with you." He could see that she meant it, and so he had to ask one thing that was stuck in his mind.

"Are you _really_ not ready to be my mom?"

She seemed so adept at it, so much like Aunt Tanya with Seth, that he was a bit shocked (and slightly offended) that she'd say that.

Bella treaded carefully.

"Alex, I know I haven't told you much about me, but… As I'm sure you can tell, Seth's father isn't _really_ my brother. Not by blood, at least. Yeah?" Alex nodded; he'd gathered as much. "I… I don't have a mother, or a father. I've been on my own since I was eight. What I mean is, I don't know how to be a mom. I _love_ Seth's grandma, but she was always a lot more like an aunt than a mother to me. I told you I'd be privileged to be yours, but I don't know how to be one. There's other worries I have about being a parent, too, but I'll work on that with your dad because it's not for you to think about. Mostly, it's just time that will tell, Alex. And if for some reason, I can't be your mom —be it because you change your mind or your dad and I don't work out— I will always be your friend."

Alex didn't know this about Bella, not really. He'd figured she wasn't Seth's real aunt, starting from the fact that her last name wasn't Clearwater like his aunt's husband and his sister. But suddenly, he felt like a brat —here was a cool woman who'd grown up alone, and here he was, bitter at ten because his mom had left. He stored away these thoughts for another time —his head was starting to hurt from all the thinking.

"Will you really? My own mother didn't stay, so why would you?"

Edward didn't butt in, but Bella felt how much tighter his grip got on her hand. He wanted to curse Lauren for all he was worth, probably —but he'd never do that in front of his son, and now was not the time, either. Bella didn't know what the right answer was, but she gave the one she had.

"Because I know the pain of being abandoned, so I don't think I could ever do the same to anyone." Bella said, and upon feeling Edward's fingers relax, continued. "I don't really know your mom, Alex, so I can't tell you why she hasn't come back. But to tell you the truth, when I was younger than you, _I_ would've given anything for my mother to walk away and never come back. She was never good to me, and because I held on to wanting her to be someone different, I drove away the people who could've been what she never was to me. What I'm trying to say is, stop hurting yourself, Alex, and learn to be happy."

Edward remained stone-faced, but inside his heart broke for the woman next to him. She was only twenty-two and already she'd had to learn lessons most adults spent a lifetime without knowing. Her situation had been out of the ordinary but not unheard of; he realized now how lucky he and his son were to have found someone like her. She, through her once-hurt eyes, could see what a child like Alexander needed and attempt to help. She'd seen the worst of the world and had come out laughing —Alex had had a few bumps along a paved road, and if someone could make him see the bright side in a dull situation it was Bella Swan. Edward, who was far from a believer, thanked God. God, and Rosalie McCarty who'd invited the beautiful Bella to their housewarming party and had forced him to go.

"What if I can't?" Alex mumbled, hurting the adults in front of him. He was so lost at such a vulnerable age.

"Then your dad and I will never stop waiting. We trust you'll get there; heck, believe it or not, you're halfway there already. You've come along so far, Alex. Can't you feel how much nicer everything is? Because you look it. You look like a different boy than the one I met. Think of your relationship with your classmates. How are they?"

Munching on a fry, Alex thought hard.

"They... leave me alone now. There's this girl in my class, she always says good morning to me these days. I'm always surprised so I always miss my chance, but she seems quite nice."

Satisfied, Bella sat back.

"That's a start, honey. Small steps. Maybe try replying, and saying hi to another classmate? We all need to begin _somewhere_."

"Where'd you begin?"

Bella gave him an embarrassed smile, refusing to look at Edward.

"I stopped stealing other kids' lunch money."

-.-

"Oh my God will you please stop laughing?" Bella whined, mortified. She had her hands covering her face; Edward and Alex were gonna drop her off at her apartment before heading back home. It was half past ten at night on a Thursday, which meant that Alex had fallen asleep as soon as his head had hit the car's headrest. Tomorrow was a school day, but Bella and Edward had said 'fuck it' (Edward literally) and had told Alex the previous day that they'd take him anywhere he wanted for dinner.

Edward was still laughing about Bella's history as a bully.

"I'm sorry Bella, it's just—" Edward snorted from how hard he was laughing. "The other day you literally cried while watching Finding Nemo, and now you're telling me you were a fucking _bully_? How could I _not_ laugh?"

Bella pouted, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Well, the first thing I did was stop doing drugs, but I couldn't very well say _that_ , could I?" Bella asked, and Edward's laughter abruptly died. Oh, right.

"You know, I have many questions about the you from back them, but I think they can wait for another day." Edward said, and when Bella shrugged it off, he cast a glance out of the corner of his eye. "Is talking about your past easier than talking about your mother?"

Without thinking twice about the answer, Bella nodded yes.

"My mother is a very... sore subject. Everything I was, though on me, was a reaction to what she drove me to be. It wasn't her fault, and I know I made my own choices, but... it's hard to stop blaming her. It's one of the things I ask the most forgiveness for: I know I have to let it go, but I'm still not quite there yet."

Edward extended a hand over the armrest, putting his hand facing upwards on Bella's knee. Instinctively, Bella laced their fingers together.

"You're gonna get there." He brought her hand up to his lips, smiling as he watched the road. "So long as you don't revert to your bullying days."

Groaning, she stuck her tongue out.

"Stop flirting," Alex mumbled sleepily. "It's gross."

Edward and Bella laughed.

* * *

 _"Hi, this is Bella, either I couldn't get to the phone or I lost it again. Leave a message after the beep!"_

"Uh, hi Bella, it's Edward. I know this isn't the most orthodox way of doing things, but... You know how Thanksgiving is next week? Well, I just spoke to my mother on the phone and she reminded me I'm not allowed in the house on this joyful occasion if I don't bring you with me. Uh, I know you're super busy with writing and stuff, but please come. My mother makes the best fucking gravy you'll ever taste. She got it out of Tanya that I was dating someone, so that makes her a bit more insistent —you know, that Tan knows you and she doesn't. Anyway, I really hope you hear this and you're not holed up writing and that if you are, you see this in time. L—Let me see the the rough drafts some time. Bye!"

* * *

 **Hi! So, I know I'm late and stuff, but it's quite miraculous I managed to put it out at all. I'm in an island and I only have some pitiful internet while at the hotel, not to mention I almost had the chapter on Saturday but couldn't finish it on time. So yeah, sorry about that. On the other hand, thank you so much for all the wonderful reviews! They make me so happy. And as always, thank you for all the favorites and follows. If you haven't yet, check out some of my other stories! I recommend The Road To You or The Words Left Unsaid. :)) Happy holidays!**

 **Leah.**


	8. Sow and Reap

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

* * *

Bella did _not_ hear the message in time.

To be more precise, she didn't see it until the very day at a quarter to midday. She had, in fact, been holed up writing —from the day after the McDonald's outing to Thanksgiving she'd stayed at a B she was a regular there, often only being able to sit down and just write at the gazebo they had. Truth be told, she'd only said in passing to Edward she'd be holed up writing —hadn't even detailed what that meant— and had gone off the grid. But who could blame her? Alice knew by heart her M.O., so whenever she rang the doorbell to the apartment and found no one, then went in to find a red post-it stuck to the fridge... she knew Bella had gone away. She never said where; Alice knew Bella didn't like being bothered while she wrote, and the two had agreed that Bella would always write down her location on a paper that would remain pressed between the pages of her favorite book. Only to be looked at in the case of emergency. In case Bella went off the grid, Alice was authorized to panic if she hadn't heard from Bella in two weeks. The Clearwater family was used to not seeing Bella more than once or twice a month, so they'd never been informed of the system.

What this meant was that Bella hadn't thought to explain this to Edward, her maybe-boyfriend, because she'd never had to explain to anyone other than Alice. Mike, after all, hadn't thought it weird when his girlfriend wouldn't say anything for days at a time, not to mention he hadn't known Bella was a best-selling author.

So when Thanksgiving came, Bella bid adieu to Clare and Jane, the couple that ran the B she hopped on her car and drove back home happily, thanking her lucky stars she'd been able to get so much done in just five days. She'd wanted to see Edward, of course, and Alex and Alice, but it always felt so liberating to just sit down and _write_. It was the only thing she had complete confidence in herself about, and this writing spree had proven particularly inspired. She thought perhaps Edward had something to do with it.

Walking into her empty apartment, Bella turned on her phone while she waited for the chicken to defrost. Yawning, Bella listened to her voice messages first, as she usually did: first was voice mail, then texts, and finally e-mails. People usually tried calling her more than they tried contacting her through other methods.

 _"Hey Bella, just letting you know your dude's been asking about where you are and when you'll get back. You didn't say when to me either, and he doesn't seem used to your writing spree methods so you should take pity on him. Give him a call."_

Alice.

 _"Hey Belle, I know this must've given you pause on the whole dinner with the Cullen family thing, but just let me remind you that Leah is taking mom to some spa or something on that day. It's all women so I can't go, and it's too moist so I know you won't. Give me a call."_

Laurent says what?

Frowning, Bella heard the third voice message.

 _"Uh, hi Bella, it's Edward. I know this isn't the most orthodox way of doing things, but... You know how Thanksgiving is next week? Well, I just spoke to my mother on the phone and she reminded me I'm not allowed in the house on this joyful occasion if I don't bring you with me. Uh, I know you're super busy with writing and stuff, but please come. My mother makes the best fucking gravy you'll ever taste. She got it out of Tanya that I was dating someone, so that makes her a bit more insistent —you know, that Tan knows you and she doesn't. Anyway, I really hope you see this in time and you're not holed up writing and that if you are, you see this in time. L—Let me see the the rough drafts some time!"_

Shit.

Ignoring Edward's strange stutter at the end, Bella's heart did a jump-start as she immediately called Edward back. Oh Christ, how could she have forgotten she had someone to spend Thanksgiving with now? She hadn't thought... well, she hadn't thought Edward would ask.

"H—"

 _"Bella, are you ok? Oh, thank fuck you called back, I was having a coronary over here!"_

"Oh God, I'm so sorry Edward. I only just arrived home and I had my phone turned off the whole week. I heard your message a minute ago."

She heard Edward sigh.

 _"No, that's fine. Alice had already told me before about you turning off your phone for your writing sprees, but I'd kind of forgotten to be honest. Since the last time you did it was because of Harry it hadn't stuck with me that's how you usually worked. Just... please tell me next time, alright? I nearly fucking died all week."_

Guiltily, Bella nodded even though he couldn't see her.

"I... I'm so sorry, Edward. I'm not used to having to update someone on my daily activities, and Alice and I have a system worked out. It didn't occur to me that you'd worry."

Edward remained firm.

 _"Bella, my girlfriend went off the grid for five days. Of fucking course I'd worry. I need to know shit like where you're going or how long you'll be gone so I can come running should you need me or so I can know when to worry. I understand you don't want to be bothered, but for Christ's sake Swan, let me hover a bit."_

Bella couldn't help herself, despite the tone of the conversation.

"I'm your girlfriend?"

 _"... Obviously."_

"Well, you never asked."

 _"I never ask people to leave their car keys keys at the shop, either, and yet they do. It's common sense, babe. Some things need no asking."_

Bells giggled.

"Why, you're not romantic at all. I was expecting a grand occasion."

 _"Bella, my mother's about to call me in twenty minutes for the, no shitting, thirty-first time since Sunday to confirm your presence. Romance is a little far from my mind right now."_ Edward grumbled, finally feeling his blood pressure lower. Finally. _"... So, will you?"_

Bella smiled to herself.

"Some things need no asking."

-.-

When Edward arrived at Bella's doorstep, it would not be an exaggeration to say that he almost slammed into the door in his hurry to step inside. One moment he was hearing the door unlock, and the next he was inside of the apartment with Bella slammed against the door, his lips on hers and his hands under her ass. Fuck, he'd missed her —had been worried as fuck all week long— and to think there was an inch of air separating them seemed unbearable.

Heaving, the two parted, leaning their foreheads against each other's.

"Hi," Edward rasped out, all too aware of how their lower halves were pressed against each other. And how warm her center felt through her leggings.

"Hey," Bella smiled, giving him a peck on the lips. "Missed me?"

Groaning, Edward nodded enthusiastically.

"Good. I missed you, too," Bella chirped, not sounding at all coherent with her words. But it didn't matter, Edward mused as he grabbed Bella by the ass and took her with him to the couch. He wanted to cuddle and he wanted it _now_ , damn it.

"Never do that to me again, woman," Edward groaned, plopping down on the couch with Bella on his lap. He'd switched to nuzzling her neck, arms wrapped like a vice around her waist. Bella liked the proximity.

"I'm truly sorry," Bella apologized genuinely. "I'm not used to having to explain my whereabouts. I'll do my best so this won't happen again. Forgive me?"

Edward groaned.

"Of fucking course you're forgiven," Edward kissed the back of her neck, making her shiver.

"Also, where's the mini-you? Don't tell me you left him in the car."

Edward scoffed in offense.

"He's with my parents helping them set up for Thanksgiving; he spent the night there since he didn't go to school today. Today was a day off for me, too, but I went to the shop in the morning to put my mind off of things."

Guilt tugged at her heartstrings once more, but she figured another apology would be useless. Only actions would matter now.

"What time are we expected at your parents'?"

"Half past six, mom said."

It was a quarter past five, so they had time.

"Oh yeah, and I also called Laurent to ask what he was bringing to the dinner; since he's bringing the pumpkin pie and your mom's doing the turkey, he said I should make whatever. I made cheesecake and apple strudel just in case."

Edward was impressed.

"You had time to do all that in such short notice?"

Bella grinned, pulling back just enough that they could see each other.

"I made a run out to the supermarket and haven't stopped cooking since," Bella admitted, glancing down at her flour-covered leggings. She was, once more, using the oversized U-Dub t-shirt Edward had spotted her in when he'd dropped off Alex for his sleepover with Seth; what had been curious annoyance back then was now full-blown jealousy, which he did his best to contain.

"I'd meant to ask you before," Edward said, eyes locked on the shirt. "About this shirt."

He said nothing else, figuring there was no right way of ending the question. What would continue would either be an accusation that she'd kept something from an ex or a reminder that she hadn't gone to college.

Bella glanced down again, taking notice of it.

"Oh," she said, not thinking much of his question. "Right, it must be weird seeing me in it, huh? Since I didn't go to U-Dub. I… I really wanted to go to college, but it was out of the question back when I graduated. I was in the middle of writing the first book of _The Alloy Nation_ , and I was working part-time for what income I had. I mean, Leah went to college and Laurent to culinary school with full scholarships, and because I didn't get my act together in time my grades weren't the best, so getting accepted would've been hard enough."

Bella fingered the frayed hem, clearly not done. Edward was captivated by this woman, thinking how amazing it was that she'd accomplished despite the shitty hand life had dealt her.

"So, Alice bought this shirt for me when she was on a tour throughout the state while looking for a college she liked. I think her very first choice was U-Dub, so she thought it would be fitting." Bella smiled, letting go of the shirt. "This was her gift to me the first Christmas of her freshman year; she's always been a worrywart so she's been going around the country looking for the right fit practically since the day she got into high school."

Made sense.

Now Edward felt like shit for asking.

"I have a Yale shirt that I think would fit you quite nicely," Edward blurted out, suddenly itching for her to be wearing something of his. The idea had crept in and seemed unwilling to uproot, since there were no actual reasons for him to change his mind.

Bella gave him one of her brilliant smiles.

"If you'd lend it to me, I'd be quite happy."

Unable (and unwilling) to help himself, Edward once more closed the distance between their mouths to seal his lips over hers, wishing they had all the time in the world to themselves.

"What have you done to me?" Edward groaned, moaning when Bella ground down on him, her hands encasing his jaw softly. Smiling against the kiss, she sighed into his mouth happily.

"Whatever you did to me," she whispered, sucking on his upper lip. Man, did Edward Cullen taste _heavenly_. It did things to her stomach —and lower.

They spent the next twenty minutes like this, both dry humping and stopping to say how much they liked each other. It felt like they were high-schoolers struck by lust and like instead of the adults they were struck by trust and desire. They would've gone on longer if not for Edward getting a text from his mother saying they needed him to swing by the supermarket for ice, and Bella saying she still needed to go change into something suitable. She chose a blue jumpsuit with sleeves and lace at the top combined with —you guessed it— Converse. Edward hadn't seen her in heels, and when he asked, Bella said that it was for everyone's safety. She'd looked so beautiful and he'd wanted to put his hands in intimate places as soon as he'd seen her come out of her room, but he knew if he laid a finger on her he wouldn't be able to persuade himself to go buy the ice. So they'd left at six, had stopped by a nearby mini-market and had bought the so-desired bag of ice.

Then off they went to the Cullen Thanksgiving dinner.

* * *

"Oh my God, Edward! You found such a beauty and took so long to bring her over?" Esme Cullen, perfection in person, gushed over Bella as she hugged the life out of the girl. They'd yet to step a foot inside the house.

Nervously, but grateful for her kindness, Bella hugged the older woman back just as warmly.

"Oh, I'm sure he's too used to beauty by now, with the mother and sister he has," Bella complimented truthfully. Just as Tanya had always appeared to Bella to be a doll, Esme appeared to be queen of a Disney story. High cheekbones, impeccable caramel hair, pressed skirt and sharp shirt —she was elegant and beautiful, just like her daughter. Edward had said his mother was sixty, but honestly? She'd have believed the woman was ten years younger at least.

"You flatter her too much, Bella," Edward teased, holding Bella by the elbow as he bent forward to give his mother a kiss on the cheek. "Hey mom."

"Let someone compliment me for once," Esme sniffled, smiling kindly at the girl in front of her. With her face bare of makeup and tennis for shoes, Esme thought this girl seemed eighteen at most, but since she was Laurent's sister she'd been told that this was a twenty-two year old woman. Still younger than her son, true, but an eight year gap didn't seem insurmountable.

" _For once?_ I'm always telling you how pretty you are!" Edward whined, not seeing Bella's assessment of the interaction; happily, she saw how much mother and son loved each other.

"Not enough," Esme huffed, finally stepping back and opening the door wider. "Come on in. I'm sure Edward's told you about what a monster I am, so I hope I don't sound weird when I say shoes on the left, honey."

Bella laughed, blushing.

"Just that it was better I listen," Bella said, taking off her shoes; she grabbed some slippers on a cubicle and replaced them with her shoes. "You have such a beautiful home, Mrs. Cullen. I love it."

Esme beamed at the girl, watching from the corner of her eye like a hawk that her son took off his shoes. He had a tendency of trying to rile her up by not taking off his shoes.

"Thank you, dear. And please, call me Esme." Esme said, suddenly remembering something important. She glanced around, hollering when she did not find what she needed. "Carlisle! Where the hell are you? Bela's here!"

Bella's lips twitched, trying not to laugh. She could see where Edward got his potty mouth.

" _Not eating the gravy!_ " Bella heard a guilty voice call back, and this time she did have to laugh.

"I'm here too," Bella heard Edward grumble; glancing back to him, she saw he had his arms wrapped around his mother, his chin resting comfortably on the top of her head and arms around her shoulders. Esme patted his arm fondly.

"Shush, you're always here." She kissed her son's forearm then removed it so she could link arms with Bella and drag her into the living room. "Your brother's not here. I sent him with Alex and Seth to buy more gravy since my husband inhaled it, and Tanya's in the kitchen guarding Carlisle."

Bella giggled.

" _Mom_! Dad's eating the gravy!"

Esme scowled, suddenly speeding up and leading Bella (with her son trailing behind dejectedly, holding the desserts) into the kitchen. There, Tanya was standing firm in front of the counter, probably guarding the aforementioned gravy. In front of her was a blond gentleman (so blond it was probably almost all white hair) dressed in a pink polo shirt and brown slacks, his back to the rest.

Esme huffed, staying at the doorway.

"Carlisle, stop intimidating our daughter. You're already downed a whole jar _by_ _yourself_."

Laughing, Bella saw as the gentleman turned around with the same dejected air that Edward currently carried, but her laughter ended abruptly when the man finished turning around. Not because he was beautiful, though he was —just like Edward. Same jawline, same mouth, same nose. Blue eyes and different cheekbones, though. He had a lot of laugh and frown lines, proving his age. Her heart stuttered in her chest.

"Dr. Cullen?"

Surprise marring his features, Dr. Cullen suddenly stood a whole lot taller. He approached the trio slowly, eyes not parting from Bella's face.

"You? What are you…" Dr. Cullen frowned, looking between Bella and Edward. Nobody but the two understood what was going on. "What are you doing here?"

Esme had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, her mind instantly going to a dark place. All the warnings from her friends about how friendly Carlisle was with all the nurses, how he _must've_ had an affair. Esme had brushed it all off, thinking the accusations absurd —they didn't know how Carlisle looked at her, how she'd heard his explanation that he acted that way with the nurses so they would be more willing to work with him and his colleagues. They didn't know that Carlisle and Esme had loved each other for too long to know how to love anybody else. But now, looking at her husband's pinched face as he looked at a beautiful, young girl, the worries came flowing back. Perhaps the foolish one had been her.

She turned to look at the young girl, hoping for some insight, but her face was filled with shame. Shame for what? Shame for sleeping with a married man? With her current boyfriend's _father_? Esme thought she was going to be sick.

"Will somebody explain what the fuck is going on?"

Bella started at Tanya's voice, and cowering at the tone, she realized that nobody seemed to be breathing. Glancing back, she saw Edward's face was tense, while Esme's seemed to be a mixture of crushed and angry.

"Oh," Bella blinked, feeling numb. She didn't know how to explain this. "I, um… I should go. I don't…"

Esme's face settled on anger.

"Carlisle. Explain. Now."

Bewildered, Carlisle didn't know whether to look at Esme or Bella. Bella seemed to be too red for it to be healthy.

"I preformed surgery on her some years ago. It's a long story, Es." Carlisle ignored his wife's anger, choosing to concentrate on his former patient. He needed to protect his son. "Are you clean now?"

Now Esme was stumped. What? Edward, on his end, started understanding a little. So, his father probably knew Bella Swan prior to her days with the Clearwater family.

"I am," Bella swallowed hard, not daring to look Carlisle in the eye. "I'm sorry, Dr. Cullen, maybe I shouldn't be here—"

Edward put a hand on Bella's shoulder, stopping her from ranting. He looked at his father, then his mother.

"Mom, dad, you're making Bella uncomfortable. Let her breathe," he said, then turned to look at his father again. "I know about Bella's past, if that's your concern. She's never lied to me."

Before either of them could answer, Laurent returned with two boys in tow, making a ruckus the moment they stepped in and yelling out they'd managed to find the _one_ gravy jar. The second he arrived at the kitchen's doorway, though, and saw his little sister's eyes filled with tears, he lost his easygoing manner. He took note of the tension in the air, and scowling, he crossed his arms over his chest.

"What's going on here?" He locked his eyes on Bella's, who couldn't look away. "Belle, you ok?"

Doing her best, she nodded yes.

Unfortunately, Laurent Clearwater did not believe her.

"I want to know why my little sister is about to cry." He said, and suddenly he seemed to intimidate everyone in the room, even his mother-in-law.

"Laurent, did you know my dad operated on your sister?" Tanya asked, removing herself from the counter and coming closer to the commotion. Laurent frowned.

"You've had surgery, Belle?" Laurent asked his sister, who hesitantly nodded.

"At fifteen," she mumbled; the confusion cleared from Laurent's face.

"Oh, you weren't with my family yet, then." He said, and every Cullen frowned in confusion. Laurent faced his in-laws, knowing they needed the most clarification. "Bella was part of the foster care system. She arrived with my family when she was sixteen, and before us she jumped from house to house. And since she's tight-lipped about her life before us, I'm pretty much just as in the dark."

 _Oh._

Edward was the only one who wasn't surprised about the explanation.

"I thought you never told me Bella's backstory because you didn't want to," Tanya confessed, seeming apologetic to her husband. "Turns out you didn't know."

Laurent shrugged. He knew some things, but he'd never figured Bella would want those things revealed by anyone but herself.

"What's going on?" Alex asked, racing to where the adults and Seth were. He took a long time taking off his shoes since he had a whole system. Frowning, Seth glared at the adults.

"Aunt Bella's being made into the bad guy, somehow," Seth said, and though it wasn't the truth, no adult but Bella had a good rebuttal.

"No, that's not how it is, Seth," Bella said, doing her best to swallow back tears. She bit down on her lip. "You know how adults always say actions have consequences? Well, these are my actions catching up to me."

Everyone felt like shit for the way they reacted; Bella didn't deserve being pointed fingers. Still, she always found a way to come out swinging.

"If you'll let me, I can explain over dinner. If… you'll have me." Bella mumbled, and this time it was Alex who answered.

"Of course!" He said, grabbing hold of Bella's hand and tugging her down to the dining room. Nobody contradicted the youngest Cullen, seeing as no one had a reason to.

As everyone got seated at the table, Esme and Carlisle hung back in the kitchen.

"I'm worried, Es," Carlisle admitted in a whisper. "How much can people really change? The girl she'd been… It's hard to believe anyone could change that much. What if she's looking to hurt Edward?"

Esme sighed, understanding fully her husband's worries.

"Alex loves her, for one. And our son hasn't seemed so happy in the last three years as he is with this girl; we should give her a chance." Esme said, running a hand through her hair, much like her son usually did. "I think we should be open to her explanation."

Carlisle sighed, wrapping a hand around his wife's wrist as she made a move to go to the dining room.

"Es, we'll talk about this later, but I saw the doubt on your face back there. It _seriously_ hurt. I have never touched and will never touch a woman that's not you. I thought you knew this."

Taking in a sharp breath, Esme met her husband's eyes.

"I know, and I'm sorry. But you can only flirt with nurses for so long before you start making wounds in my heart." Esme said, leaning on her tiptoes to give her husband a kiss on the cheek. She echoed the young girl's words. "You've never broken my trust, but that doesn't mean your actions haven't had consequences."

Finally, the family was sitting down for dinner. Carlisle at one head and Seth at the other; to the right of Carlisle was Esme, Laurent and Tanya, and to his left was Edward, Bella and Alex. Briefly, before having to expose herself, Bella entertained herself with mindless chatter about the food she'd brought and the race against time she'd suffered to get it done in time.

"Oh? So you're an author?" Esme asked, looking genuinely curious. Laurent started laughing.

"She's not just _any_ author," he said, winking at his sister across the table. "She's super good, but she doesn't write with her own name."

Reflecting on it, Bella should've let Laurent eat cookie dough for dessert.

"What's your pen-name?" Tanya asked, also not knowing the answer. Blushing furiously, Bella swallowed down a glass of water.

Edward saw how uncomfortable Bella was getting, and he decided to rescue his girlfriend for once. Besides, he felt like she'd blow a fuse if she had to start spilling all her secrets today.

"Hey hey, one big revelation at a time, alright? Stop bullying my girlfriend."

"Yeah, stop bullying Bella," Seth and Alex echoed, high-fiving when they realized they'd coordinated. Nice.

"You party-pooper," Esme said, giving her son the stink-eye. Edward stuck his tongue out.

"I want to know what happened when Bella was fifteen," Tanya finally blurted out, unable and unwilling to hold herself in check. She was much too curious. "I'm sorry, I know I'm being rude, fucking sue me. We've all known curiosity will kill _this_ cat."

"Tanya," Laurent warned, both because of language and content. Smiling kindly, as she did everything else, Bella nodded.

"Alright, I'll indulge your curiosity," Bella said, and everyone thought for a moment that a halo rested on Bella's head. "I'm sorry if I'm not smooth with this story. It's hard for me to talk about, but I need you to know. You're all people Edward and Alex care about, not to mention me."

Edward squeezed her hand under the table. He'd told her coming in she didn't have to do anything she didn't want to, and she'd replied that if it were up to her she'd never relive those days, but that doing so would hurt people the two cared about.

So she began.

"When I was fifteen, almost sixteen, I had a drug problem. Drinking, too, but I mostly did drugs. I need to be completely honest with this, so I'm sorry I'm making Alex and Seth hear this. The two of you need to know what hanging with the wrong people can do to you," Bella said, turning to look seriously at the two young boys. Dutifully, they nodded. "I started with weed and snowballed into crack and cocaine. LSD only once, and ecstasy every once in a while. I was… um, I was high most of the time. It's one of the reasons why I couldn't stay in a house more than a couple of months. When I moved in with the Clearwaters, I'd cut back to just weed, but since then I haven't consumed any in the last five years."

Bella paused for a moment to drink down some of the soup; it was delicious. Everyone was hanging on her every word.

"One day, I started feeling incredibly bad. My first thought was that it had something to do with the drugs, but I didn't want to go to the hospital since I'd be found out. By the third day the pain was so bad I fell down in the middle of the street, so high and in pain someone called an ambulance for me. My appendix had burst, and because I didn't go immediately it got complicated. Dr. Cullen was the one who performed surgery on me."

Again, Bella stopped to gather her thoughts. It was hard to speak about it without slipping back in time, so she needed breaks to not fall. She drank half of her soup before continuing.

"When I woke up from surgery, he explained that I nearly died. The burst appendix had started infecting the rest of my abdominal cavity or something like that, and something had happened that it was incredibly hard to handle my anesthesia. Locating my arteries had been a challenge, and when there was minimal bleeding they started suspecting I was on cocaine. Something like that, I'm sure Dr. Cullen remembers better how that happened. Thing is, I nearly died."

She felt how Edward's hand got tighter around hers, and she swore she felt his pulse beat harder against her skin. He couldn't bear to think what would've happened if she hadn't made it out —and suddenly, he was overwhelmed in gratitude for his father. He saved her. He saved this woman who made his dull days fun. Edward made eye contact with his father, and the gratitude in his son's eyes overwhelmed Carlisle. He didn't remember a time where his son had been so thankful.

"I remember Dr. Cullen particularly because… he visited me every day of my stay. Since I got complicated, I was hospitalized for a week. Of course, I knew that my foster parents had been notified about my situation, but no one visited. I hadn't wanted to tell my best friend —she was hardly Seth's age at the time, so I couldn't lay that on her. Dr. Cullen was worried that no one visited, so he was with me —despite the fact that I was a horrible patient, and in withdrawal, not to mention rude. He kept me company during his breaks. I never told you how much I appreciated it," Bella said, talking directly to Dr. Cullen. He was watching her with unreadable eyes —eyes of an old doctor who barely thought anymore about his kind actions. He remembered worrying about her —she'd been so frail, so angry, so anxious for a fix.

"It was the least I could do," Dr. Cullen said, shrugging.

"No, the other doctors and nurses did the least they could do. You did more." Bella smiled through the tears that had slipped past her guard, and suddenly she felt smaller fingers wrap lace through her left; heart warm, she squeezed back Alex's fingers. "Dr. Cullen spent the whole week trying to convince me to get into a rehabilitation program. He brought me tons of flyers and tried teaching me about the harm of drugs, and I pretended to listen even though I knew I wasn't ready to get clean. Didn't feel like it, at least."

Everybody was halfway done with their meal, but Bella had hardly finished her soup. She couldn't eat anything else with her state of mind, anyway, and her hands were otherwise occupied with her two favorite Cullen boys.

"I was discharged and, as I'd suspected, my foster parents at the time forced me out the second I was back. I spent three weeks in a rehab center sponsored by the state for kids in foster care in order to get clean from hardcore drugs before I arrived with Harry and Sue, Laurent's parents. I'd figured I had nothing to lose by going to a center. That's pretty much it. I never thought… I'd have to see Dr. Cullen again. If there's one person in the world who's seen me at my worst it's my boyfriend's father, and it feels a bit awful."

Tanya wasn't even hiding how hard she was crying, but Esme just dabbed at her eyes as daintily as she could.

"Bella Swan, the enigma," Laurent sighed, rubbing at his stinging eyes with the back of his hand.

"And how are you _today_?" Dr. Cullen asked, the physician in him wanting to know the state of health of his old patient.

"I don't miss that life, never, not even a little. Please, I know the two of you are gonna be very concerned about someone like me being in your son's life, but… I'm better. I try hard, every day, to be a different person. These last few months it's been getting easier thanks to Edward and Alex. They make me so happy."

Alex had to chip in.

"Bella's the nicest person there is. She even laughs at Uncle Emmett's bad jokes," Alex said, making his grandparents chuckle. Emmett's jokes _were_ pretty terrible.

"How'd you two meet, anyway?" Esme asked, not knowing the story.

"Emmett's housewarming which you couldn't go to. Rose is Bella's editor, so she invited her star author. As a matter of fact, Alex found her before I did," Edward said, smiling at his son.

Alex preened.

"Damn, I knew we should've gone, Carlisle," Esme sighed, shaking her head. "We'd known of Alex's mysterious new friend from all his talking, but the little details always slipped his mind. Like that you were older and his father's girlfriend."

They laughed.

"But that's recent!" Edward whined.

They spent the rest of dinner speaking of nothings and everythings, talking about the silly things that happened every day and the important things that occasionally occurred. Laurent spoke of his restaurant and how much it kept growing, and Seth talked about trying out for the middle school football team. Alex bragged about his tae-kwon-do, and Edward backed his son up in the bragging. Overall, once the initial upset had passed, everyone decided to move on to happier things. Bella had been grateful for the reprieve, and had felt so blessed when Laurent had pulled her aside to tell her nothing had changed for him. That he still loved her like a sister, and that if she felt uncomfortable he'd bail her out no questions asked. When dinner was done, everyone laid down on the living room with bellies out in the air, groaning about the stupid amount of food they'd consumed. Bella hadn't eaten much, her appetite not having returned except for a slice of pie; everyone had raved and moaned and cried when they'd tried the Clearwater-Swan pastries, with Carlisle and Tanya being reminded once more of the reason they hadn't been allowed to help out with food preparations.

By nine, Esme and Carlisle started kicking out adults. Seth and Alex would be spending the night with the grandparents, who were in charge of driving the children tomorrow to school. Laurent and Tanya left in a hurry, knowing they lived far enough that if they didn't escape at the first chance they had they'd be arriving home by midnight.

Before leaving, Esme and Carlisle took Bella aside (in spite of their son's glares).

"We're so sorry about the start to the evening, dear," Esme began, the remorse sitting on her heart threatening to weigh her down. Every minute they'd spent with the young woman was a minute they'd understood what a wonderful girlfriend their son had.

"I should've reacted differently. You deserved the benefit of the doubt and it took me a while to give it to you," Carlisle continued.

Bella smiled in relief, glad she wasn't hated.

"You two were worried for your son. I understand; Edward's been hurt enough already, and he deserves the world. I know I'm not… the ideal girlfriend a parent would want for their son in terms of background. I understand if you're still skeptical for a while. But I'll do my best to show you I can be what Edward needs and what Alex deserves."

Esme squinted at the brave girl in front of her.

"Do you love my son?"

Bella gave the woman a sheepish smile.

"I'm not sure what love is, Esme. I've never been in love and I'm not used to receiving it. So my answer is I don't know, but if I ever do, Edward will be the first to know."

Esme chuckled.

"Oh, you two are already head over heels for each other, you kid no one. And, Bella," Esme suddenly wrapped Bella in a tight hug. "If you love my son the way he loves you, you're the woman any mother would want for her boy."

Bella felt so thankful in that moment that _these_ were Edward's parents. They were the reason why Edward was the incredible man he was, why he'd been strong enough to remain by Lauren's side and bring up the amazing kid that Alex was. These two were the story behind Edward's kind heart.

Esme let Bella go, and to her surprise Carlisle was next. His hug was shorter, but he also left her with a parting message.

"Also, call me Carlisle."

* * *

"Talk about a hectic Thanksgiving," Edward said, plopping down on Bella's couch. He rolled the sleeves of his button-up so they reached his elbows, suddenly feeling quite hot. Smiling, Bella plopped down next to him.

"I liked your parents."

Edward snorted.

"You kidding me? They gave you the fucking third degree. I nearly decked my own father when he wouldn't stop looking at you in the kitchen."

Bella rolled her eyes.

"Oh, he was just as surprised as I was. Besides," she said, running a hand through Edward's unruly hair. "You're much cuter."

Jaw dropping indignantly, he turned to look into her mischievous eyes.

" _Cuter_? I'm a six foot four tattooed redheaded thirty-year-old man, and I'm _cute_?" He asked, and stifling her laughter, Bella nodded seriously. "Oh, you're gonna regret that."

He grabbed her by the waist and clashed his mouth against hers, repositioning the two so they were laying across the couch with Edward nestled between Bella's legs, his hands on her hips and hers in his hair. He forced her mouth open, and he rocked against Bella's heat in a move that left them both breathless. Suddenly, the two were reminded that neither had had sex in two months —with each other. Before September Edward had happily gone without for over a year, and Bella hadn't been all that enthused about sex with Mike. But now, with each other, they suddenly thought that two months without each other seemed like an eternity.

"I want you," Bella said first, knowing Edward would never say anything after what had happened the last time.

His heart (and dick) cheered.

"I want you too. So fucking much." For emphasis, he ground his erection against her center, making the two of them moan.

"Then you know where the bedroom is."

Edward had never moved so fast in his life, except perhaps for that time a banshee had been screaming in his ear that her water had broken and he needed to get his ass to the hospital in _ten_ minutes. He'd made it in five.

The two undressed each other quickly, needing to feel each other as soon as possible.

"Oh, I forgot!" Bella suddenly groaned, turning her face away from Edward and into the pillow.

"What? What?" Edward panicked. Was she on her period? Because he wanted her, damn it, but he was _not_ gonna be that guy.

"I threw out the condoms," Bella moaned unhappily, and the vibrations traveled down to where his dick rested against her leg. He held back a moan of his own.

"Worry not. I brought my own," Edward said, ever the boy-scout. Bella opened her eyes and gaped as Edward hopped down, felt around for his jeans and pulled out a condom from his wallet. "What? The other ones had been a little tight, and a man can hope, can't he?" Edward huffed, hopping back on the bed.

"Ever the optimist," Bella teased, welcoming him back into her arms.

-.-

Edward awoke feeling warm to the core.

His insides were warm, and outside he was warm. He had his arms around Bella, whose back was to his front. He had his nose buried in her hair (it smelled like vanilla), and even his lower body was thankful for the heat Bella's lower half provided against the chilly morning.

Overall, he'd describe the morning as 11/10.

Opening one eye, he saw on Bella's stand that the alarm clock said it was 7:23 a.m. He had to open the shop by 9, but he figured he could just text Jake he'd be half an hour late. He kinda really wanted to enjoy waking up next to Bella without the guilt of being about to leave her.

Sighing contentedly, he snuggled closer to Bella's back. This was heaven.

"Your penis is poking my butt," he suddenly heard a raspy voice say, followed by Bella wiggling until she was facing Edward. She gave him a sleepy smile. "Hi."

"Hey, beautiful," he said, using his thumb to wipe the drool from the corner of her mouth.

"You're still here," she said, tugging at his heartstrings. "It's nice."

"It's _more_ than nice," Edward said, scooting down so he could be on eye level with his girlfriend. "It's pretty fucking perfect."

Bella smiled happily in agreement, saying nothing. Mornings weren't her thing.

"Hey, Bella?"

She hummed, feeling like she was about to drift back to sleep.

"I love you."

Not anymore.

Her eyes popped open comedically, and Edward smiled in response to her surprise. Silly woman, how could he not?

"I don't need you to say it back. I heard you talking to my parents, so I know where your heart's at. But… I just really need you to know I love you. You make me feel like I'm the man my son deserves as father, and you make me feel like I'm the man who makes his girlfriend happy. I like who I am with you, Bella. I hate not seeing you, I hate not talking to you. I cannot think of a woman I admire more than you, and please believe me when I say I've never loved anyone like this. It's not like I feel empty without you but… itchy, if that makes sense. Anxious for you. You've made me into a better man, and you make me thing I can be even _better_. I want you —you already know I fucking want your body, and I know it sounds cheesy, but I also want your heart."

He wiped a tear that slipped from Bella's eyes.

"I love you, my brave girl."

Bella's smile was so brilliant that Edward thought he was hallucinating a Crest strip on her teeth. It made his heart stutter.

"Thank you, Edward."

It wasn't an I love you, but Edward didn't care.

He was willing to wait as long as he had to for this warrior of a woman to figure out for herself she loved him, too.

* * *

 **Phew, this was a hard one. Anyways, so, you know how last chapter I told y'all I was on an island? (Thanks for the wishes! I suck and haven't replied to any reviews, but I've read them) Well, _the very fucking day_ I posted the chapter my phone disappeared. I went with my sister to buy food, was in a hurry because I needed to watch a debate at 9 sharp and like two hours later I realized I didn't have my phone (with my _license_ in it, which I renewed just _last week_ ). I was frantic looking for it, thought someone had stolen it. A whole day went by with no news. The next day I went to the hotel's reception to check if I had it with me when I went in on the cameras -no. I was wallowing in my own misery, but the guy at the front desk told me he doubted anyone had stolen it. Well, by Thursday morning, the same guy calls me over and tells me "Someone found your phone". Sure enough, on the island's Facebook page someone had posted they'd found my phone. Friday afternoon my whole family was waiting for like two hours past the agreed time for my phone -we had to leave the island and catch a ferry. My dad starts saying "Oh, maybe he regretted it and kept it". I was like, "Dad, this is an island. If we show his picture to someone they're bound to know him". My dad goes to the local town hall and shows a cop there the guy's picture, and one of them goes "Hey! I know his brother." So finally, my dad calls the guy with my phone: he'd gotten held back because his daughter got an infection, and he was on the main island because a friend of his was ill so he had to come back to the island and grab my phone from his house. Summary: I believe in humanity. He even told me his friends were like, "You should sell it!" And he was like "No, I want a clear conscience". So, hurray! Good people exist everywhere in the world. :) Sorry for the rant, but I wanted to share my joy.**

 **Leah.**


	9. When You Let Ghosts Die

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Sorry that the chapter's slightly shorter than usual, but hey! I updated earlier. :) Also, lemon!**

* * *

Time had a tendency to fly by when you most wanted it to pass by slowly.

The months passed by much too quickly for Bella's taste —one moment it was the end of November, and suddenly it was already June. The holidays had come and gone in the blink of an eye: Christmas had been spent with the Cullen-Clearwater clan and New Years had been spent with just Edward, Bella and Alex. Valentine's had been unremarkable —Bella had a deadline due on the 16th so she'd been locked away, not to mention Edward had been swamped with work. For Alex's birthday (he turned eleven in April), Bella took Alex, Seth, Jane and Eric (who'd transferred in for the second semester and had become fast friends with Alex) to play laser tag, followed by movies and ending with cake at her place. Edward had been torn between wanting to stop Bella from spending so much and thanking her for spoiling his kid in a way he was hardly capable of. By the end of it all, he'd had no choice but to kiss his girlfriend silly and thank her a thousand times for her wonderful gifts. Bella had shrugged it off —Alex had been happy enough to be worth every single penny she'd spent on him.

And spend on him she _did_. It was incredible how many video games Alex now had from one of Bella's shopping sprees; it had gotten so bad that Edward and Alice had had to sit Bella down to explain, as kindly as they could, that she had to fucking knock it off. Alice said Bella would make Alex love her for the gifts she gave, not to mention she was so stupid for not spending even an eighth of that money on herself. Edward's argument had been pretty much the same, placing an emphasis on how much Alex did not _need_ more toys or ties or shoes or anything else. It had been incredibly hard, but Bella had learnt her lesson… almost. She still slipped Alex music sheet she bought here and there every month. It wasn't expensive, but every time Edward caught her his glare made her cower a little bit. Not enough to not do it, but enough to care.

Another new development was that Edward had agreed to go to church with Bella once a month. The first time he'd gone with her had been for Christmas; she'd subtly reminded Edward that the whole point of _Christ_ mas was to celebrate the birth of Jesus and not just receiving gifts, which was Alex's assumption so far as to what the holiday was about. Edward had given in (Alex hadn't been a happy trooper, but he'd gone along), knowing that this was a small gift he could give the woman he loved on what was clearly a spiritual occasion for her. From then on, seeing how happy she'd been, he'd agreed to go visit God once a month. Her smile from that time was still engraved in his heart.

Now, in the first week of June, they were currently celebrating another milestone: Alice's graduation from high school.

"Oh, I cried with your speech!" Bella said, still crying. The moment Alice's valedictorian speech had ended, Bella had nearly jumped out of her seat in her need to go hug Alice; Edward had held her back, reminding her the ceremony wasn't done just yet.

"I saw you and almost started crying, too," Alice cried, hugging Bella back fiercely. Once Bella had found herself able to cry once more, she'd found that between her and Alice they'd become a pair of crybabies. Any time one started crying, the other soon followed.

"I'm so _proud_ of you, Ali-cat. You're valedictorian, you're going to _Berkeley_ … You're so, so talented, and you deserve every bit you've earned." Bella whispered in Alice's ear, making the teenager cry harder. The two girls were incredibly excited about Alice's admittance into the college, but they were also sad about the distance that would be between them come the fall. The one reprieve they had from this sadness was that, as Bella had promised, she was taking Alice to Greece in the summer; though she hadn't managed to pay for all of Alice's expenses (her parents had refused unless they could _at least_ pay for the plane ticket), this was still her graduation gift to her best friend. They'd be leaving for the whole of July, at the risk of dying of a heatstroke in their trip. There were two incredibly unhappy troopers regarding the trip and they went by the names Edward Cullen and Jasper Whitlock.

"You'll be gone for a _whole fucking month_?" Edward's reply had been upon learning of the trip.

Jasper's had been adapted to his girlfriend: heavy whining.

"But, _Alice_."

The two girls had remained firm, though, in the length of their trip. Traveling was a treat, one Bella had never indulged in before; she was going to enjoy it and she was going to do it thoroughly. Besides, neither had ever been the type to pass up on traveling because of a boy.

"Bella, why are you always hogging my girlfriend?" The class A whiner, Jasper, arrived beside the two girls (Edward had accepted his fate and gone to greet Alice's parents).

The first time that Alice had introduced Bella to Jasper, the meeting hadn't gone as expected. Instead of loving Bella, as rational people did, Jasper was one of the extremely small amount of people that thought Bella's niceness was an act. He'd been aloof and hadn't seemed to care much for her; this, though, had been well before the two had started dating. When they _did_ begin dating, and found out that Bella hadn't pushed for Alice to drop his stupid ass (as friends tended to do with your best interests at heart), Jasper had realized that he'd really been a stupid fuck and that this woman had simply been too nice for the comfort of his not-so-nice ass. It wasn't that he thought himself not nice —he just didn't know how someone could _really_ be so altogether nice like Bella. He was, for lack of better words, skeptic. Not anymore, though. The moment they'd started dating Jasper had done a switch in his behavior, keeping in mind as well that Alice would never forgive him if he mistreated her best friend. The one time he'd been aloof? Alice hadn't talked to him for a week; every time he'd sent her a text asking what was wrong she'd replied with 'Dick'.

So yeah, lesson learnt.

"She's not hogging me, she's _hugging_ me," Alice sneakered at her bad joke, and though Jasper rolled his eyes, Bella laughed right along with her. The two of them loved bad jokes. "And jealousy doesn't suit you, Jazzy."

Jasper smiled good-naturedly, rolling his eyes at her teasing.

"Well, it's hard to keep this jealousy of mine in check when you give me so much to worry about," Jasper joked. After the whole fiasco with Karin, Alice had been very clear with Jasper that making each other jealous was a no go. Apparently, it had all been Jasper's ploy to get Alice to be clear with whether or not she liked him —not the kiss (which had been forced on Jasper, or so he said)— but the whole giving Karin more attention than he wanted to give her. Alice had been pissed when she'd heard the reason for her suffering, but ultimately understood that he hadn't known he was hurting her, too; he'd been unaware of her seeing the kiss, and was horrified once he'd understood what his actions had caused. Instead of making the girl he loved jealous (and in that wrong but socially accepted way confirming her feelings for him) he'd ended up making her doubt her feelings for him. He'd agreed he'd never go there again, and in return Alice had promised she'd never do that to him, either. If there was one thing Alice had learned from Bella's self-improvement it was that some things weren't worth holding onto, and especially not when she was as sure as she was that Jasper was the only one for her.

"She _is_ quite prone to clinging onto me," Bella teased, finally releasing her friend. Inspecting her friend's makeup, she gave a nod when she verified nothing was out of place.

Jasper immediately grabbed his girlfriend and brought her to his side.

"Mine," he said, sticking his tongue out. Bella pretended to gasp in outrage.

" _I_ saw her first."

"Well _I_ kissed her first," Jasper said smugly.

"Not really," Alice shrugged, and both she and Bella burst out laughing when Jasper's jaw literally dropped. "Kidding, Jazz. _So_ kidding."

He huffed.

"I have been fooled."

In that moment, Edward and Alice's parents came around to congratulate Alice on her speech; Mrs. Brandon was also crying, and Mr. Brandon was the proudest Bella had ever seen him. And Alice was great at pretty much everything.

"We're so proud of you, dear," Mr. Brandon said, needing to cough to get the words out.

"Your speech was wonderful. You're such an amazing girl, Alice," Mrs. Brandon cried, ripping her daughter out of Jasper's arms and burying her face in her neck.

"Thanks mom, thanks dad," Alice managed to get out. She enjoyed making her parents proud, there was no question about it.

"Well, Edward and I should get going," Bella said once Alice separated from her mother.

"Oh, well we're about to go have dinner with Jasper and his parents. Do you want to come with us?" Mrs. Brandon said, and though her invitation was genuine, Bella could see that the woman wanted this to be a family event. Bella couldn't fault her, though it did sting a bit; Mrs. Brandon was always a little jealous of the relationship between Bella and Alice, given how much her daughter relied on Bella instead of her. So though it stung, Bella understood. She'd known so much this would be what would happen that she _had_ in fact made plans with Edward beforehand.

"Thank you Mrs. Brandon, but Bella and I have another engagement in half an hour. We just really wanted to come to support Alice." Edward said, slipping his hand into Bella's. Alice shot Bella a half smile, also conscious about what was happening. Alice loved her mother immensely, but she also knew she'd never be able to quite explain the bond between children who'd been in the system. Children who'd sought refuge in each other when the world seemed to have turned its back on them.

"Oh, well, then I hope that y'all can celebrate another time," Mrs. Brandon said, and Bella could see that this wish was genuine. Whenever Bella and Alice treated each other as sisters, Mrs. Brandon was conflicted; if they treated each other as best friends, it was easier to assimilate. Again, Bella didn't hold anything against the woman; she did her best where she could, but wasn't capable of helping how she felt. Perhaps, if Bella had been a nicer kid, Mrs. Brandon wouldn't have such trouble. It was hard to break out of the shadows you cast, especially when the ones who knew your misdeeds were overprotective mothers.

While Mr. and Mrs. Brandon started talking with Mr. and Mrs. Whitlock, Alice and Jasper watched as Bella and Edward walked away hand in hand. Edward hip-checked Bella teasingly, and when she tried to retaliate Edward swung his body the other way, making her miss and stumble. They watched as Edward laughed loudly and switched to put his arm around Bella's shoulders, kissing her temple.

Alice sighed dreamily.

"Do you think we'll be like them when we grow older?" Alice asked, feeling as Jasper slipped his hand in hers.

"You mean if I'll dye my hair and you'll grow taller?" Jasper asked, squinting at the couple as they moved further and further away. "Dunno. Red's not my color."

Alice pinched his love handle (recently acquired, gift from the stress of final exams).

"You dork, that's not what I'm talking about," she said, finally turning to Jasper when the couple had disappeared from their sight. "I mean that we'll be so… mature in our relationship."

Jasper snorted.

"Al, five minutes ago I saw Edward sneak a peek at Bella's rack. Maturity's _not_ a thing."

-.-

"Ready?"

Edward sighed in exasperation.

"I've been ready for fucking _forever_ , Bells. I'm on pins and needles here."

He heard her tinkling laugh next to him, which as always, warmed his heart.

Currently, they were in Edward's house enjoying what remained of the night. Their 'previous engagement' consisted of watching sci-fi/fantasy movies and comedy stand-ups. So far, Edward could tell Bella's favorite genre was actually comedy; they put on Ryan Hamilton's _Happy Face_ , and Edward was pretty sure his girlfriend peed a little and was _completely_ sure she stopped breathing at one point from how hard she was laughing. They'd sent Alex off to Eric's house, wanting alone time for themselves. Not that Alex minded; he'd spent so long without friends that he was more than willing to have sleepovers with friends. Midway through watching _Blade Runner_ Bella had put a stop to the movie and had suddenly asked Edward to close his eyes tightly. Confused, but ever-trusting, he had. Then Bella had suddenly disappeared from the bed, and even as he heard her shuffling around he kept hearing her call out to him not to open his eyes. He hadn't, but Bella had persisted in calling it out.

Now, she was back to sitting next to him.

"Open your eyes."

Blinking out the haziness, Edward looked to his left and saw that Bella was sitting back on her knees, holding something behind her back excitedly. He arched an eyebrow.

"What is it?"

Almost bursting with happiness, Bella took out her hands from her back, and she was suddenly presenting a book to Edward.

"This is the last of the trilogy in _The Alloy Nation_! And it's yours," Bella said, getting happier and happier as Edward registered what was going on.

"I thought you weren't releasing it until August?" Edward said in awe, all but snatching the book from Bella's hands. She felt high on the feeling of seeing someone love her books so much.

"I am, but I couldn't wait to give this to you," Bella said, switching her sitting position so she had her back to the bed-frame; she linked arms with Edward. "Come on, read the inscription."

Curious, and also anxious to start reading the book, Edward flipped to the first page. It read:

 _I used to carry demons on my back; when I crawled, when I walked, when I talked. God started whispering sweet ideas in my ear: "What would happen if you should let ghosts die?" I could never let myself entertain such thoughts, though: mine were demons, not ghosts. Then along came the father I never had, whose last gift to me was his family and mine to his was my tears; the demons became ghosts I had no way of laying to rest. Then you and your treasure came along, and you taught me the chants that would banish them. "I love you, I love you, I love you," you sang, but I knew not what you spoke of. And so you taught me the meaning, and I was able to sing back: "I love you, I love you, I love you." The ghosts died, and I answered God's query: "I got_ him _."_

Edward instantly forgot about the book, whipping his head up to look at Bella.

"Bella?"

With a wobbly smile, Bella spoke.

"Can I explain a bit?"

Edward enthusiastically nodded.

"My mother, she…" Bella cleared her throat, feeling it dry. It was the first time she'd ever told anyone what had happened with the exception of Alice, and even she didn't know the full story. "She committed suicide. She left me a letter telling me sorry, how sad life was without my father, and that she wished she could've loved me in another life. I was the one who found her hanging from her closet —I broke down crying like I'd never cried before, looking at the dead body of my hanging mother. I couldn't speak a single word for more than a month after that, too scared that if I opened my mouth I'd start crying. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw mom —dead— and so I also stopped sleeping until one of the people in foster care started sneaking sleeping pills in my dinner. I realized what was happening after a couple of weeks, but I let it go on: I was tired of not sleeping and the nightmares that came with the day."

Bella took a shaky breath, smiling when Edward kissed the back of her hand.

"Edward, for so many years I spent every waking moment trying to forget my mother's dead face, the note she left, the fact that she hadn't loved me more. The drugs, the rebellion, the anger… all I wanted was to never have to think again about Renée. Alice helped, but she couldn't _fix_ me —no one could. Nobody tried, either. _I_ had to put myself back together even though I'd never known what a whole person looked like. With Harry and God's help I managed to stop seeing my mother's face everywhere I went, which brought me an immense amount of happiness. I was anxious to fill the void with as many people as I could; I'd learnt that they key to keeping my demons at bay was to surround myself with happy people. I think this decision saved me, because their happiness gave me the illusion of love. I'd been skeptical of Harry and Sue loving me, and I'd even been hesitant to believe Alice _liked_ me. I had such a huge gap in understanding what familiar love was like that I couldn't even begin to process what falling for someone was."

Bella grabbed the shut book and put it behind her, shifting so she was now sitting in front of Edward, between his legs. She grabbed both of his hands, trying her best to convey what she felt.

"March's a hard month for me, but I've never told anyone. My mother killed herself that month, so you could say my life derailed from there. _This_ March? All I could think about was how excited I was to spend more time with you and Alex during Easter, and how excited I was planning for my trip to Greece with Alice. On my mother's death anniversary, I couldn't help the usual antagonistic thoughts from invading. I'd forgotten what day it was and had made arrangements to go drop off your lunch at the shop. So I went, feeling down, and…" Bella couldn't help the tears from falling. "The moment you saw me, your face lit up and you rushed over to me, saying you'd missed me even though we'd only been apart three days. I tried thinking of a single time my mother had gotten so happy about seeing me, and I couldn't think of one. It's then that I realized I'd been thinking of love as a warped thing because in my mother's final moments she'd written that she loved me when, in fact, she'd stopped knowing what love was when my father died. I thought, 'He's _happy_ to see me', and I realized that whatever weighed me down wasn't there anymore because _I_ was also happy to see you. So, so happy. I started wondering when was the last time I'd ever felt so… whole. Not just happy, but _excited_ for every coming day. Your mere existence makes a dull day colorful. I went home that day thinking of it, and I just… I understood. I love you, Edward Cullen. I never knew I needed you until I found you, but I'm _so_ glad I did."

Edward gave her a bruising kiss, needing to hide his tears and show his own love at the first time. He'd spent the last few months agonizing almost every single day over whether or not Bella loved him because —because _he_ was madly in love with her. Because he couldn't even remember what days were like before she arrived in his life. Because he _needed_ to know, with a desperation he'd never felt before, that he was loved back just as ardently. Some days, the love would overwhelm him so much he thought he'd be physically sick; too much love to hold in a single body. If his love for Alex was one that enveloped his body in a warm blanket, his love for Bella burned as it traveled down his veins. He'd thought, briefly, that he was going mad; because adults weren't supposed to _feel_ so much. He was supposed to be cautious of such feelings after his divorce, but how could he? He felt like he was high, his head flying above the clouds and his stomach switching places with his heart. This lone woman had righted what wrongs had been done to him —she'd returned the confidence he'd lost and gave his lonely son a friend. She'd effortlessly brought him up from the hole he'd been in.

So Edward continued his bruising kiss, his mouth and hands moving faster than his brain. He was taking off her shirt, his, her panties, his boxers. Bella's cooperation to the equation was turning off the TV so they wouldn't have Netflix asking if they were still there. Apart from that, she let Edward lead, feeling like she'd won the lottery with finding _this_ man.

"Fuck, I love you," Edward said, sucking Bella's tongue into his mouth as he dipped a finger inside her. She moaned, feeling as her heart stuttered with the words.

"I love you too," Bella said, gasping when Edward's fingers found her clit. His strength doubled, making Bella's eyes roll into the back of her head; her back started arching, so Edward took the momentum to re-accommodate her so she was lying on her back. "Edward, Edward…"

This was music to his ears; whenever Bella was close she'd start repeating his name, making some animalistic side of him purr in satisfaction. Yes, it was _him_ bringing Isabella Swan satisfaction. It was _him_ and nobody else.

Surprising Bella, Edward suddenly removed his fingers and replaced them with his tongue. He loved doing this for Bella, but she always said no when he offered. Not because she didn't _like_ it, he knew, but because she overthought it. Now, for instance, she was so far gone that she just screamed his name and buried her fingers in his hair, tugging for all she was worth as she felt her orgasm begin. Her hips started wiggling as if trying to escape the mountain of pleasure, but Edward was stronger and he held her down, wanting her to ride out her climax. She did, with his help, her back arching off the bed as pleasure pulsated throughout her whole body.

He made a trail of kisses as he reached Bella's mouth; he sucked in her upper lip, moaning when he felt her fingers start stroking him.

"Please, can I have you now?" Edward whispered huskily. Bella let out a breathless laugh against his mouth.

"You can have me always."

Pulling back, Edward grabbed Bella's left leg and lifted it; he kissed the calf lovingly, sucking there lightly.

"Ed- _ward_ ," Bella gasped out, desperate to feel him inside; she leaned on her elbows to try and see what he was doing. Inwardly smirking, loving how desperate she was for him (but no more than he was for her), he finally gave in. Putting her leg over his shoulder, Edward grabbed himself to angle into Bella. Eyes intent on the action, just as Bella's was intent on his dick, he watched as he buried himself little by little into her warmth, nearly crying in gratitude to this woman who'd decided to go on the pill a few months ago. As enraptured as he was with watching himself be enveloped, Bella was entranced by Edward's face of pure, unadulterated pleasure. He was beautiful to watch —his eyebrows pulled together in concentration, his messed up hair, his half-open mouth. The further in he went the closer his face got, until finally they were nose to nose. Bella felt full, almost unbearably so. Edward was thinking of something horrible (his go-to thought was Trump winning re-election or that one time he got stung by a jellyfish and Emmett peed on his leg) to try and not instantly come, so he was trying _not_ to think of how warm and fucking _tight_ his girlfriend was.

Bella clenched around him, and he lost control.

" _Fuck_ ," Edward groaned, thrusting sharply into Bella before pulling back. "God, I fucking love you."

Bella gasped, her hands finding their way to Edward's butt.

"I love you," she repeated, her breath stopping when Edward thrust back in. " _Edward_."

Edward started thrusting harder and harder, then going slower when he felt Bella start to lose it; he wanted to make this last.

"I never thought I could love someone this much," Edward said, and suddenly Bella felt something hot fall on her cheeks, and when she opened her eyes she realized they were Edward's tears. He had his green eyes trained on her, the amount of love in them making everything inside of her clench and melt.

"I never knew I _could_ love," Bella whispered, gasping at Edward's particularly hard thrust. "Thank you for loving me."

Edward buried his face in Bella's neck, unable to stop the tears from flowing. He felt too bare, too open to the world and for her to see. He loved this woman so much it should've scared him, but he was too in love to withstand cowering. His heart already belonged to this woman, and he couldn't see himself trusting it to anybody else.

Bella came around him without warning, making him motivated to prolong her pleasure by thrusting harder and faster. She dug her fingers into his ass, and in the moment that Edward buried himself balls-deep into Bella he felt her come again, this time with him.

He collapsed on top of her, waiting a couple of heartbeats before flipping them so she was lying on top of him. They were a sweaty mess, albeit a happy one.

"I love sex with you," Bella sighed, her cheek resting against Edward's chest; he had one hand on her butt and the other one tracing lines across her back. "I wish we could do it all the time."

Edward agreed enthusiastically.

"Yes please."

Bella giggled at his eagerness.

They remained in perfect, comfortable silence for a while. Then Bella heard Edward's heartbeat pick up pace, and somehow she understood.

"You want to read the book now, don't you?"

Edward kissed the crown of her bead before turning to dislodge Bella from on top of him.

" _So_ fucking badly," he said, crawling over Bella to reach the book which had fallen to the ground. "I'm gonna need like two days before we can resume in basking in our love."

Bella laughed, watching as Edward sat back against the bed-frame, stark naked and unabashed as he opened the first chapter.

Smiling indulgently, Bella got up to pee.

She'd lost her boyfriend to her own creation.

* * *

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Edward, happy birthday to you," everyone sang, cheering when Edward blew the candles on his cake.

"D'you make a wish, dad?" Alex asked, hugging Edward around the waist. Edward patted his son's head, grinning.

"For you to behave in sixth grade," Edward said, chuckling when his son huffed in indignation.

"You should've asked for Bella not to go away," Alex grumbled, watching his father's girlfriend as she chatted with Aunt Tanya and Leah. Edward pinched Alex's cheek lightly, bringing his eyes back to his.

"She's going on a trip with Alice, son. And she's _very_ excited to go, so we should be happy for her, alright?" Edward said, thanking everyone as they congratulated him. He saw that Alex still had a face set on unhappiness, so he brought him apart where he knew others wouldn't hear him.

"What's wrong?" Alex had his arms crossed, looking at the ground. "Alex?"

"What if she finds someone else in Greece?" Alex mumbled, pouting. "I mean, you're good looking I guess, but what if men in Greece look better? Or she finds some millionaire who _really_ likes her?"

Edward felt like Grumpy Cat for a moment; the confidence his son had in him was _staggering_. But Alex wasn't done.

"What if… she doesn't want to come back?"

Edward sighed in frustration, cursing Lauren for the hundredth time for the harm she'd done to their son.

"Alexander Cullen," they suddenly heard, and then Bella was there, hands on hips and a furious scowl in place. The two men gulped. "What do you mean, what if I don't want to come back?"

Alex started mumbling, digging his toe into the ground.

"Alex," Bella said, losing her scowl and bending slightly so she was in his line of sight. "I love you _and_ your father. No way would I ever not come back; I need my favorite men with me. The next trip is going to be with you, your dad and I, ok? I promise. And about me finding someone else in Greece?" Bella got closer to Alex so she could whisper in his ear. "Your dad's the best guy I've _ever_ met. Don't you think so, too?"

Alex hesitantly nodded.

"But don't you want a rich man?"

Bella pulled back, smiling. She winked.

"Like Cher said, I _am_ a rich man." She smacked a kiss on Alex's cheek, making him blush. He didn't even ask who Cher was. "If I already know your dad's got everything I need, why would I go looking for someone else? Not to mention any other millionaire won't have _you_ as their son."

Getting caught off-guard, Bella rejoiced when Alex flung his arms around her neck and gave her a tight hug. She hugged him back just as tightly.

"I love you, Bella," Alex mumbled, and Bella did her very best to swallow down her tears. She was grateful to God every single day that she'd found this little boy all by himself in Rose's house.

"I love you too, Alex. So, so much," Bella said, squeezing him for a few more seconds before letting him go. "Now, I see Seth glaring at me for taking you away. Wanna save me from his wrath?"

Nodding, Alex ran off to see what his best friend wanted.

Straightening her back, Bella turned to Edward, who was looking at her with an indulgent smile.

"You want to cry, don't you?"

Letting out a pitiful sob, Bella nodded and buried her face in Edward's chest.

"Alex is just _so_ cute!" Bella cried, feeling as Edward planted a kiss on top of her head. Laughing, Edward let his girlfriend cuddle against him, knowing she didn't want to be seen crying. Time went on, and as his thoughts started drifting off somewhere random and Bella's tears dried, he was suddenly brought out of his trance by the sound of a shutter going off.

Looking up, he saw Emmett holding a camera seeming mighty proud of himself.

"You adorable cuties," Emmett made a kissy face.

"You dick," Edward grumbled, giving Bella's forehead a last kiss before letting her go. "You better have taken a good picture."

Emmett ran off, cackling, going to find his wife.

"Are you all set for your trip to Greece, dear?" Esme was suddenly by Bella's side, and smiling, Bella nodded enthusiastically.

"I've always wanted to go, and my friend is also _so_ excited to travel. It's our first trip together," Bella explained. Esme smiled, thinking absentmindedly how lucky her son was to have found such a nice person. Especially after (sneer) Lauren.

"It's quite beautiful. I'm sure the two of you will have a marvelous time, even if I'll have a son and a grandson who'll be pouting for a whole month."

Bella giggled, observing from afar as Alex got in a heated discussion with Seth and Edward tried wrenching the camera out of Emmett's paws. They were precious to her.

"Will you keep an eye on them for me? They better be a pair of angels or else I'm not bringing them any souvenirs," Bella stated, making Esme snort.

"They're redheads, dear. The rumors about their tempers are real, so no way can _I_ keep an eye on two of them."

* * *

"So, how's Athens?"

"Wonderful!" Bella chirped, and in the background, Edward heard Alice shout _"Fucking hot as hell!"_

He chuckled.

"It _is_ quite hot," Bella admitted; she'd barely been gone twenty-four hours and he already missed her. "But it's so beautiful here that we can't complain."

 _"I can!"_ Alice whined again, making the couple crack a smile.

"How's the hotel? Did you get there ok?"

Bella nodded.

"It's quite spacious, you know. And the locals super quite helpful, so we had no problems," Bella said, and suddenly Alice was in the background slack-jawed and shaking her head. Bella didn't see her, but Edward got the message: his girlfriend was an optimist by choice. "The only little issue I've got is that apparently, I forgot my birth pills at home. The only thing I'm worried about is my period getting wacky or something."

"Why don't you buy more there?"

He was pretty sure Greece had to have birth pills.

Bella shrugged.

"Nah, I'll just go to the gynecologist when I get back home. I think this is proof I should get the shot, anyway. It's easier," Bella said, yawning. "I think I'm going to hit the sack. Alice and I have an early start tomorrow and both of us are a little sleep-deprived."

Edward nodded, sad the video call was ending already.

"Alright, sleep tight. I love you."

Bella grinned sleepily.

"I love you, too."

-.-

"I'm so excited to see you," Bella yawned, smiling sleepily at Edward. Three weeks had gone by, and there was only a week left till Alice and Bella went back home.

"Me too," Edward said, taking note of how Bella seemed to not have taken well to difference in time zone. Her jet lag should've lasted only one week, but she was sleepy throughout the whole trip. Not that it had stopped her —she and Alice had done as planned and more. They'd even braved through the Greek heat somehow and had bought themselves mini fans. They'd also seemed to like Greek food —Alice had gained about four pounds and Bella five, or so they said. The first week in Greece they'd eaten in some dingy place, and both girls had spent the next morning puking; after that, they'd learnt their lesson had gone to more sanitary places, which _coincidentally_ tended to be so delicious they couldn't stop eating. Alice was constantly complaining how much pita bread Bella ate, though, because quite often she'd get full from it and would have no more space for real food. "How are you sleeping?"

"Very well," Bella said, yawning again. "I'm just sleepy from the weather, I think. It's the type of heat that makes you want to laze around, you know?"

Yeah, he knew. He and all his workers had a hard time working through the summer heat.

"I think I do know," Edward chuckled, looking fondly at his girlfriend's sleepy face. "What're you doing tomorrow?"

"Going to the Palace of Knossos," Bella said excitedly; that day, they'd crossed over to Crete by ferry in the morning. Apparently, Bella had gotten seasick, so they'd postponed going to the palace for the next day and instead had walked around that day. "I really want to see it. The myth of the minotaur takes place there, you know?"

He did not.

"That's so fucking cool," Edward said honestly, and when Bella yawned again, Edward gave her an indulgent smile. "You should go to sleep, love. You've got a long day ahead of you."

Sleepily, Bella rubbed her eyes and nodded. She threw him a kiss.

"I love you, Edward," Bella smiled, and everything in Edward wanted to get a ticket and fly across the ocean to see this woman. That, or speed up time.

"I love you too, baby. So fucking much."

* * *

One week and two days later, already back home, the gynecologist looked Bella dead in the eye with an unamused face.

"Bella, you can't get the shot. You're pregnant."

Huh?

"You say the last time you had sex was roughly four weeks ago, so I'm gonna take a shot at it and say you're thereby roughly four weeks along." The gynecologist explained, removing her gloves. The moment she'd heard of Bella's last month, she'd gotten her patient to pee on a stick. Smiling sympathetically due to Bella's shocked face, the woman said the only thing she could think of:

"Congratulations, Bella. You're gonna be a mom."

* * *

 **Hey people! Once more, thanks so much for reading and favoriting and following and reviewing. It means the world to me. And thanks to everyone who rejoiced with me in finding my phone! I was happy you were happy for me. :)) Again, I'm so glad that you've all enjoyed this story as much as I have enjoyed writing it. The only thing I want to mention is, if you've read any of my other stories you'll know I'm not political here, but I couldn't help getting in a little comment hehe. I mean no ill will towards anyone, nor will I make another comment. That being said, I hope y'all understand that there aren't many chapters left. I've really enjoyed writing this, I love this story, but I think it's better not to stretch it. I'd originally planned for this to be just ten chapters, but I'm thinking perhaps eleven and an epilogue at most. And remember: the longer I make it, the higher the chance that I fuck it up. Lol. Hopefully I won't, but that's what I'm trying not to do. Anyways, thanks so much for your kind reviews!**

 **Leah.**


	10. Graveyard Conversations

**Disclaimer: I am only a college student trying to get by. Also, lemon.**

* * *

 _You're pregnant. You're pregnant. You're pregnant. You're pregnant._

Bella couldn't help it.

As soon as she left the gynecologist's office, she ran to the nearest bathroom and puked her breakfast out.

Oh God, she was pregnant. She'd thought it was weird to get sick twice during the trip, seeing as she could count on one hand the amount of times she'd vomited in her life. The first time had been a coincidence, Bella realized, that Alice had also gotten sick. Then again, Alice had gorged on so much food it was logical that she'd thrown up, but Bella hadn't eaten as much. Then there was all the _pita bread_. Man, because it wasn't weird for her to crave certain foods it hadn't been a surprise when she'd wolfed down the bread practically every day. And the _fatigue_ … Bella threw up again.

Still feeling a little green, Bella left the doctor's office, doing her best to ignore the pitying looks of the obviously pregnant women. Reaching her car, Bella felt her phone vibrate with a new text message. Taking it out, she saw it was from Edward. He'd arrived to pick her up from the airport with Alex while Jasper and Alice's parents had arrived for her. That had been Saturday night, and she'd spent the whole of Sunday at Edward's. Today she'd had her appointment in the morning, but she realized she hadn't told Edward what _kind_ of doctor's appointment she had.

 **Morning beautiful. How's the jet lag? —E**

Guilt riding heavy on her shoulders, Bella typed out a quick response.

 **Hey handsome. Not that bad. Thank you for worrying. —B**

Bella got in the car, the response arriving as soon as she closed the door.

 **Sorry I can't see you until Friday, love. Too many clients right now. —E**

Breathing a sigh of relief, Bella realized she'd found a small reprieve. At least now she had an excuse to bail for a little while.

 **Don't worry about it. Actually, I'm gonna take this chance to write. I'll text you in a little while my location, alright? I'm gonna go off the grid. —B**

Bella sincerely doubted she'd do any writing, but she was hopeful. Locking her phone, Bella didn't see Edward's reply until she was already back at her apartment with a new suitcase ready to go. Before locking the door to her apartment, she saw Edward's reply.

 **Be safe, love. How long will you be gone? —E**

Bella chewed on her bottom lip, realizing she needed to put her big girl panties on.

 **Friday night at the latest. —B**

Then Bella pocketed her phone and fled from the apartment building, saying a hurried bye to Jack before escaping the city.

-.-

"So, you're escaping from your boyfriend and thought to escape to... here?" Asked the undertaker, looking quizzically at the little woman in front of him.

It was Tuesday afternoon already, and Bella had decided to flee to the one place she knew nobody would ever find her: Renee's grave. Truth be told, she'd been coming here for years unbeknownst to anyone. Alice didn't even know Bella was aware of _where_ her mother had been buried, and Bella had only told Edward about the general location she was at (in other words, she also hadn't told him her true destination). She was staying at a nearby hotel —from it, she could see the place that had once been her home. It was rundown and on the verge of being demolished, which brought her some measure of peace. Finally, the last link to her childhood was being torn apart, and this brought her both nostalgia and joy. These days, Bella could confidently say she hated nothing— _except_ Blockwood Complex, the place where her mother had killed herself. Every time she looked at it she felt like throwing up, but this time she just felt her heart weigh her down.

"I like it here," Bella said honestly. She only came here once a year, unable to take being around this place any longer. "Besides, I like seeing you, Gerry."

Gerard, the undertaker, chuckled. He was a short, pudgy man with a goatee and a cap that hid his bald spot. Bella didn't even know his last name.

"You've been coming here since you were, what? Ten? You _shouldn't_ want to hang out in a graveyard, Bella."

Bella sighed, looking at the gravestone.

 _Renee Swan. Rest in Peace._

At the time, no one had engraved anything else. It had been deeply impersonal, and every time Bella came back she felt it all over again.

"I come hang out with my mom, Ger." Bella sighed, looking up again at the undertaker. She was currently sitting on the grass, a brush resting in the stead of a flower. This had been her tradition ever since learning her mother used to be an artist.

"Wanna talk to her?" Gerard asked, and sheepishly, Bella nodded. It had been so long that he already knew the way this went. "Alright, girl. I'll be making my rounds then."

Then Gerard disappeared, making Bella feel relieved. She needed to talk to her mother, and she preferred doing so without an audience.

"Hi mom," Bella began, crossing her legs and resting her elbows on her knees. "Guess what? I'm gonna be a mother myself. I haven't told my boyfriend; I guess I'm scared, after all. I mean, I know he loves Alexander, but I wonder if it'll be too much for him to knock up a girlfriend twice. Not to mention I'm pregnant after I was supposed to be on the pill; I guess I'd understand if he questioned my loyalty, but I really don't want him to. It'd hurt. I know there's more I'd want to talk to you about, like my trip to Greece with Alice, but right now I can't think of anything I want to talk to you more about than this."

Bella let out another deep sigh, for once not able to muster up a smile for herself. She thought of how nice the wind was, and how the clouds hid the sun just right. There was too much she wanted to tell the woman lying six feet under.

Well, she supposed she had time.

* * *

On Wednesday, Bella came back. She brought lunch with her and talked while she ate, sitting in front of the gravestone with her legs crossed and sunglasses to shade her eyes from the summer's sun.

"I always hated you, you know. Not because of everything you put me through, but because you didn't love me. Even before your death I knew how things were. I think… the fact that you didn't want me anymore, not after dad died, is something I always knew. Because of that I could never fully trust people telling me they loved me. I thought, if mothers are supposed to love you and mine couldn't even bear with me for seven years without her husband, I must not be all that loveable. I couldn't understand how you'd lose all motivation to live just because Charlie died, and I still don't think I understand, not really." Bella paused thoughtfully for a moment, trying to put her thoughts into words. "I mean, I love Edward, I really and truly do. To the best extent of my understanding of what love is, at least. I don't know if I'd say I couldn't live without him; I've spent too long trying to be happy to pin it all on one person's existence. That's not to say I don't think I'd be terribly lonely without him, or that I'd always carry the sadness in my heart if he was gone. I have to think now, because of you, if _I_ could ever put my child through what you put me if Edward was gone."

Bella sighed, looking down at her flat belly. All those pounds in Greece had gone to her butt, she suspected.

"I don't think so, but then again, I don't think you did, either. You weren't a bad person, mom. Just lonely, and irreversibly heartbroken. As for me…" Bella bit down on her sandwich, chewed and swallowed, then continued. "I have Alice, and Sue and Leah and Laurent and hopefully, even Alex. If something happened to Edward, I'd want to take care of him. Alexander is Edward's son, by the way. He's the most handsome boy out there, and he's become kinder and happier as the months have gone by. I hope I've had something to do with it, but I know it's mostly been through his own effort. I wish you could've met him."

Bella started crying; just letting the tears flow down her cheeks, sniffling here and there so her snot wouldn't drip everywhere.

"God, I'm so scared I'm going to fuck this up, mom." Bella hiccuped. "I don't want to be like you, and I _really_ don't want to be like Edward's ex-wife. The two of you left pain in your wake, and it hurts me to think I could ever do that to a child of mine."

Bella looked down at the grass.

"I feel like this is so surreal, you know? One moment I'm in Greece with Alice having the time of my life, and the next I'm back here, pregnant and scared. Scared I'll suck at being a mom, scared Edward will pull away from me or worse, _question_ me. Friends I had in the past… they were the greatest people ever until life pulled one over on them, and they became unrecognizable. I believe Edward won't be that way, but isn't that what every naive woman has thought before? That she caught the _one_ guy that was different? What if he isn't? What if I have to raise a child by myself? What if I can never see Edward and Alex again?"

Bella shifted so she was hugging her knees to her chest. The worry was overwhelming.

"You know doll, I was under the impression that you were an optimist."

Bella started, looking behind her in surprise. Her eyes grew in size, almost comedically, when she realized that behind her stood the woman with purple highlights amidst the gray hair —the one she'd spotted a penis-shaped cloud on the bus ride to Rose's housewarming.

"Oh! From the bus!" Bella said, smiling kindly despite her tears. Grinning back, the woman nodded and came next to Bella; with some difficulty (the years had been kind to her, but time still took things away from you) she sat down on the grass facing the younger girl.

"From the bus," the woman nodded in confirmation. "Justine White, pleasure to meet you."

"Bella Swan," Bella grinned. "And the pleasure is mine."

Justine chuckled.

"You know, Gerry's been telling me for years about you, but I never managed to see you. Who'd have thought I'd already met you?" Justine laughed, the crinkles around her eyes deepening when she noticed Bella's questioning glance through her shades. "Gerard's my husband, you see."

"Oh!" Understanding lit up her face. "I never knew he was married. Well, we always cross paths but… I never come here in the friendliest of states, I suppose," Bella said sheepishly.

Justine blew it off.

"Oh, it's fine. Being the undertaker is the kind of job where the people you meet are _supposed_ to be grim. Gerry's talked about you enough for me to know you're of the nicer bunch he meets, despite it all."

Bella smiled in gratefulness, also feeling sorry that Gerard didn't meet nicer people in his job.

"Thank you."

"As for what you were saying before," Justine began, looking thoughtfully at Bella. "I'm sorry to butt in, but I overheard what you were saying. Mind if I give you my two cents?"

Bella shook her head.

"Please."

"You seem to be in the position where you got knocked up by mistake, aren't you? And you haven't told your boyfriend?" Justine straightforwardly asked, making Bella recoil but nod. "Alright, so we're on the same page. Here's what _I've_ learnt from my long as hell time on Earth, for whatever it's worth: give yourself a limited time to wallow, then _do_ something. The worst thing anyone can do is worry needlessly; it's pointless to fret over anything you have no intention of fixing. You want that child? Keep it. You want your boyfriend? Keep him. Can't have both? Keep the one you love most. _How_ you do it is up to you, doll. _I_ wouldn't keep a man who doesn't support me in tough times, but maybe that's just this old bat talking. Now, he has as much of a right to freak out with the news —just like you, given that you're in a graveyard talking to a stone— but what'll determine his worth is if he doesn't leave you to bear with the worst on your own. But to do that, you've got to give him a _chance_. And honestly, going back to you being _here_ , I'm gonna go ahead and assume you're going through this alone. Nothing wrong with wanting some alone time to absorb it all, but I don't think you should be running scenarios of shit going wrong when you haven't even informed your boyfriend of what's going on. The longer you're here, the longer you're not _there_ setting things straight."

Justine took in a deep breath; man, she was too old to be doing these run-on sentences.

Even though Bella's heart rate slowed slightly from the comfort in her words, she thought somehow it wasn't that simple.

"But Justine," Bella said, giving the older woman a sad smile. "I'm just so used to not catching a break that I can't help but need to gear myself up. I'm… I'm not used to being protected or leaning on anybody. I don't think I've ever truly relied on someone, and it scares the bejesus out of me that the first time I ask I'll be turned away."

Justine nodded seriously, understanding the young woman's plight.

"Well honey, there's nothing wrong with being scared. Fear is meant to put your guard up, and I think there's nothing wrong with being ready for anything. You just gotta make sure that just because you're so weary of the worst you don't miss the best, you hear me? Humans, we don't know the future. The only way to know if it was the right choice is by picking one option and seeing how it goes. None of us go through life unscathed, Bella," Justine said, grunting as she stood up and slapping away Bella's help as she went. "Well, I suppose some do: the fragile. Those who got hurt once and then proceeded to live as victims till they died. The rest of us? We became strong because we _knew_ how bad it hurt, and we chose to march forward anyway. Fall down seven times and stand up eight, the saying goes."

Bella did her best not to cry in front of this woman.

"Thank you, Justine."

The older woman winked.

"All this gray hair had to be useful for _something_ , didn't it?" Justine joked, sighing deeply as she looked down at the stranger. "I hope the next time you come, you bring a little one to meet Gerry and I."

Bella gave a wobbly smile.

"Of course I will. Come hell or high water."

Then Justine went off to find her husband, needing to scold him about leaving the dishes in the sink.

* * *

"You had me worried when you suddenly up and left after coming back from the trip," Edward said, letting Bella into his house. Friday at noon she'd come back to the city straight to Edward's place, needing to see him as soon as possible. She missed him so, _so_ much it hurt, making going to her place an impossible option. "I've missed you so fucking much."

Bella smiled, thanking him and accepting when he offered her something to drink.

"I've missed you too, Edward. So much," Bella said, sitting down on one of the chairs surrounding the kitchen island. She watched Edward as he moved around, grabbing two glasses and filling them with water. It was then that she remembered she'd noticed something amiss when they'd met. "Did you do something to your tattoo?"

She asked because he had a bandage covering it, so she wondered if perhaps he'd added a design to it. If he had, she thought it'd be a pity; it was a beautiful tattoo.

Smiling shyly, which was odd on Edward, he handed a glass to Bella and sat down next to her. She noticed he was wearing the red Darth Vader shirt she'd given him on Christmas, which made her smile.

"I added something to it. I was surprised that you didn't notice on Sunday, but then again, you still looked a little green around the gills. How you feeling, by the way?" He asked, laying a hand down on Bella's knee and taking a sip from his water —the move was very natural, and it warmed Bella's heart.

"Better, truly."

"What did the gynecologist say? Did she give you the shot?"

Bella didn't answer, giving him a small and evasive smile instead.

"Can I tell you after you show me your new tattoo? You've got me very curious," Bella said, which was as much the truth as it was a diversion. Edward, though, shrugged it off; he didn't think Bella was acting any differently except for tired, so he didn't mind her comment much. That, and he was otherwise preoccupied with showing her the aggregate.

"Of course," Edward said, putting an arm around the bandage. Truth was it had healed already, but he'd wanted Bella to be the first one to see it. "Uh, I just want to say… I hope you like it."

Understatement.

Super curious eyes on him, Edward slowly but surely unwrapped the bandage around his arm; he let it face Bella, palms up, so she could see where the two triangles were, the ones that represented him and Alex. There, as if splashed on top, was an array of colors across the tattoo.

Mouth open, about to say how beautiful it was, Bella was stopped by Edward.

"Wait, I need to say this," he began, and she nodded in understanding. "Maybe you don't remember this, but back when we met and you asked me about the tattoo's meaning, you told me that it could use a little color… just like me. What I'm trying to say, Bella, is that _you're_ it. You brought color to a person whose world had gone white and black; you didn't have to do _anything_ but just _be_ , and somehow you made me into a man I never was. I can never express just how thankful I am that you're in my life and Alexander's. I love you so fucking much, Bella."

By the time he was done explaining, Bella had tears pouring down her cheeks and snot dripping down her nose. _This_ declaration of love was worth everything that she'd missed throughout her life; it made her delirious for a moment, the high undeniable as she absorbed the words filled with warmth and love. Her heart hurt for a moment, as if in protest of being unable to hold in any more feelings. She traced the color with the tips of her fingers, delicately so at to not hurt him in case it was still sore.

"God, I love you," Bella blurted out, unable to hold in the words any longer. "I love you so much I can't believe I lived so long without knowing you."

Smiling kindly, Edward wiped the tears from her cheeks with both hands. Fuck if he wasn't a lucky bastard to have caught the nicest, most creative and beautiful woman ever.

"Edward, there's something I need to tell you," Bella said suddenly, bring a screeching halt to the romantic songs playing in the background of his head. She grabbed his hands and lowered them from her face, needing to convey everything with the most expression that she could.

"What is it?"

Bella looked down for a moment, then up again.

"I'm scared to tell you, but I really need you to know. I can't keep this in any longer."

Alex's worry from a month ago suddenly started replaying in the back of his head: _What if she finds someone else in Greece?_ What if she loved him, but she loved another person more? He wouldn't be able to stand it. He tried keeping his worry in check, but it was hard.

"What is it, love?"

Bella let out a deep breath, her hands growing tighter around Edward's. Afraid he'd pull away. Needing to hold on.

"I…" she cleared her throat, needing to be as loud and clear as she could. It was showtime. "Edward, I'm pregnant."

The man in him that had gone through this once wanted to react the same way his twenty-year-old self had: laugh incredulously, grow pale at the pee stick shoved at his face and pass out. He hadn't asked then, nor would he ask now, if the child was his: with Lauren it had been because he'd been too afraid to ask such a thing (and when Alex was born there was no reason to confirm anything), and now it was because he knew with Bella there was nothing to doubt. Her scared eyes but tight grip on him threw out any and all questions of who the father was out of his head. That, and recalling how odd she'd been since the beginning of her trip to Greece.

Mouth dry, Edward tried asking something. Anything. But he couldn't, and Bella saved him from the trouble.

"Five weeks pregnant, to be exact. My gynecologist told me on Monday… it's why I kind of ran away. I wasn't ready to tell you then. I thought my period hadn't come because of my mess in forgetting my pills for the trip, so I never thought…" Bella let out a shaky breath, and Edward realized in the back of his head just how sweaty her palms were. "I don't know what else to tell you, Edward."

Neither did he.

Gently, so as to not hurt her feelings, Edward untangled his hands from Bella's. Getting off of his chair, he absentmindedly took his glass to the sink and left it there. Blinking owlishly, he went back to Bella's side; she looked the most nervous he had ever seen her, making him remember he had yet to say anything.

"Give me fifteen minutes, please," Edward managed out, and still his girlfriend didn't look up at him. "I need some air… to process this. Ok?"

He saw her lips tremble.

"I'm _not_ gonna run away, Bella. Please, just give me fifteen minutes to think. But I won't be at peace if I think I'm gonna leave you here crying. Can you hold it in for fifteen minutes?"

Letting out a shaky breath, she nodded. It wasn't fair to him to deprive him of a quarter of an hour to process when she'd cried and thought all week long.

"Fifteen minutes, then I'm an open tap," Bella mumbled, sniffling. Sighing in relief, Edward clenched his fists. He wanted to touch her so badly, but first he wanted to sort things out with himself. Mumbling out an apology, he dashed out of the house, running away to the park.

There, he almost paced a hole into the ground.

 _So, she's pregnant. And we're not married —again. Am I gonna marry her like I did with Lauren? We were both so miserable, though. But I_ do _love Bella, and back then Lauren had been more of a fuck-and-dump kind of girl. So, different women. But same fucking situation —or is it? I've got Alex already. Fuck, what am I gonna tell him? Bella and I haven't been dating all that long and he's gonna be a big brother. And I'm a father already, but this is Bella's first time. Shit, what about expenses? I can barely cover two people as is, how can I manage with a third? Right though, Bella's fucking loaded; she's probably gonna insist she take care of the financial aspect. Am I ok with that? I want to support her, but will she let me? No, that's not even what you should even be fucking thinking about, you fucking moron. Do you_ want _this?_

Edward collapsed on a bench.

This is what it all boiled down to: Did he _want_ this? This being a very broad term for the situation. Did he want another child? In that aspect, he could tell it was gonna happen whether he wanted it to or not. Bella didn't believe in abortion (nor did he, but this just meant she wouldn't go and do it against his wishes), so that method was out. As for adoption, Edward sincerely doubted Bella would go that way because of her own time in the foster care —she was too kind, and she'd been hurt too much by an arbitrary system. So, he was gonna have another child. Did he want to be present in the child's life? He thought about how much he loved Alexander, how happy he'd been the day of his birth and how fulfilled he still felt whenever he thought of how much he'd managed to overcome with his son by his side. He wouldn't be able to live in a world where his son didn't exist. So on that front… it would seem like he _did_ , absolutely, want to be a part of the child's life.

Now, did he want to be with Bella throughout the process? He could end things and they would share custody of the child, but… the mere idea made his heart hurt. Not to mention he was still madly in love with the woman currently pregnant with his second kid, and leaving her seemed unfathomable. Even now, with his mind in turmoil, he knew he'd rather no one else to confront this situation with. He loved her —the last month had been hell on Earth for him, missing her every single moment she'd been gone. To leave her, even because he was mid-freak out, was not an option. What about marriage? Would he propose to her? No, he didn't want to do the same thing again. His experience had shown him that marrying someone out of duty didn't end well, not to mention he didn't think Bella, for all of her religiousness, would want that. She wasn't the type that thought having a child out of wedlock was unthinkable.

So, leaving those questions aside…

 _How do I feel about having knocked up my girlfriend?_

This was probably what made him pause a little while longer. Was he happy? Was he disappointed, angry, flabbergasted? He didn't know how he felt, stupid as it sounded. Bella hadn't seemed too ecstatic, which gave him a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. Was it because she didn't like the situation, or because she wanted to be ready for his reaction? He thought that, perhaps, it mattered more to him if she wasn't happy with the situation. Because… Edward looked up at the night sky, letting out a deep breath. Because he wanted her to be happy, since… since _he_ was happy about it.

Now, in the quiet with his thoughts all thought out, he could realize that there was a smile growing on his face. Finally, he could rectify what had weighed down on him more when Alex had been born —that he hadn't loved Lauren. He could give this child of his a mother who would undoubtedly love it, because that's who Bella was. She was probably scared now, but if the way she'd gotten attached to Alex was of any indication, she'd be a great mother to their unborn child. Not to mention to Alexander; a selfish part of him, one he never wanted to admit to Bella he had, felt giddy over now having another reason to ask Bella to be his son's mother. She already had certain attitudes about it, but he knew for the most part she kept herself in check; she _was_ , in the eyes of everyone, just Edward's girlfriend. But to him he was now the mother of his unborn child, and nothing would make him happier than to give the same privilege to Alex.

Exhaling in relief at finally sorting everything out with himself, he stood up from his chair, glancing down at his watch. _Fuck!_ His eyes almost bugged out of his head; he'd been out here for forty minutes already! Time flew by when you were trying to think about the future.

He sprinted all the way home, and he couldn't really say he'd ever ran faster. The fear of having hurt Bella started weighing down on him more and more, and this only intensified when he barged into the house and Bella wasn't in the kitchen. He ran upstairs, nearly fainting from relief when he saw that she was on his bed.

She was facing downwards, her face buried in his pillow, making the summer dress she was using to ride up until it showed her bright yellow panties. Edward chuckled, suddenly thinking about how Bella had never actually worn any underwear that _wasn't_ bright and colorful.

She truly was the color in his life.

"Bella," Edward said, coming closer until he was sitting on the edge of the bed. "Maybe you should throw away those panties. I can see the holes in them."

Huffing, Bella suddenly lifted her hips and drew the panties down, throwing them across the room and shocking Edward. First, because she was now bare, and second, because she actually seemed… angry. Edward wasn't sure how to react to an angry Bella.

"Are you mad, baby?"

Bella shook her head.

"Look at me."

She shook her head again.

"You _are_ mad," Edward deduced, and suddenly Bella shot up, startling him. She was scowling furiously, and it made Edward swallow hard. He didn't think he'd ever seen her angry, and it felt… awful. Whenever Lauren had gotten mad at him for some stupid shit he'd just sighed and left the room until she'd calmed down, knowing that the reason for her anger wasn't actually him but their situation, but with _Bella_... he'd fucked up, somehow, and he needed to fix it.

"Of _course_ I'm mad! You promised me fifteen minutes, and you were gone for nearly an hour! So here I was, wondering what you were thinking about and expecting the worst every minute you weren't here!" Bella burst out, and he realized she started getting red marks around her chest. Shit, she _was_ angry. But in a way, this settled him down a little; the reason for her anger was mostly out of worry, and rightfully so. He'd left her alone to spiral down without so much as giving a hint of where his thought process was at.

"I'm sorry, love," Edward said, grabbing her left hand tightly. "I didn't realize so much time had gone by. I didn't mean to make you worry, truly."

Bella pinched her lips together tightly, still not placated.

"You weren't thinking of how to break up with me?"

Edward rolled his eyes.

"I already got a tattoo for you, woman. What other way should I show you I love you?"

Bella looked down at said tattoo.

"Don't leave me."

Edward tugged on her hand, lifting it up to his lips.

"I could never," he said honestly, and when she met his eyes, he knew she could see he meant it. "Love, this was unexpected. We were both careful, and somehow this still happened. It was an accident, but… not one that would pull me away from you."

Bella's lips wobbled.

"You don't think this is a mistake?"

Edward shook his head vigorously.

"Absolutely not. This was… unasked for, I suppose, but… in no way unwanted. Bella Swan," Edward said, with his free hand wiping a stray tear from the corner of her eye. "You've just made me an even happier man than I already am."

Bella let out a sob, her angry facade finally breaking through.

"R-Really? You're h-happy?"

Edward nodded.

"I am. I love you, and the more I think about a mini-you running around the more I like the idea," Edward said, scooting closer to her. Eyes growing darker, he cupped her cheek in his hand. "Besides, I've got animalistic instincts. Part of me is incredibly turned on by the thought that right now, you're carrying _my_ child. That _I_ got you pregnant." He leaned closer, kissing her cheek. "Are _you_ happy?"

Full on crying now, Bella nodded enthusiastically.

"Not quite at first, but now… I want this so badly, Edward. Your child. So, _so_ much."

And that was that.

"You do?"

Wiping the snot dripping out of her nose with the back of her hand, Bella nodded.

"I'm scared, Edward. I don't want to be a bad mother, but if I have _you_ by my side, I feel like I can make it." Bella confessed, smiling when Edward pressed another kiss against her cheek. "I thought I was most afraid of ruining things between us, but I realized that what I was most afraid of was not being good at it. But I _want_ to be, for the sake of our baby... and for Alex," Bella ended shyly, not knowing if her wish would be well received.

Edward almost felt his heart break in half. He could not bear to think that, even for a moment, Bella had doubted the role he wanted her to adapt. He never would've dated someone he didn't think could be his counterpart in raising his son. He didn't start dating Bella because he wanted to find a mother for Alex, but one of the reasons he loved her _was_ because he knew that she loved him more every day that went by, as mothers usually did with their own children. He wasn't the kind of man that would stay with a woman who didn't love his son.

"You're gonna be the best mother ever, Bella Swan, and not just because you've got me but because you've got an incredible amount of people who value and love you. Because _you're_ the most incredible woman I know and you can only ever be the best partner to raise children with." Edward said this with all the honesty he had in his body; he could see it got through to Bella when she just cried that she loved him and tackled him down to the bed, sitting on his hips.

"I'm gonna get heavier and heavier as the months go by," Bella said, dragging her dress over her head and chucking it off. Edward _really_ liked the view.

"Baby, I lift tires heavier than you. You could use the weight," Edward said, helping her take off his t-shirt before laying back on the bed. He liked the view too much to move.

"I'm gonna start crying a lot more," Bella said, undoing her bra. "And my boobs will get too big."

Edward buckled his hips so she was a little closer, and he settled his hands on her B cups; he squeezed them, making Bella smile. He really loved her breasts; they were only a handful and they were as perky as a twenty-one year old should have them.

"I can live with your crying, since they're mostly happy tears," Edward said, brushing a fingertip across her nipples. She moaned. "As for your boobs... I don't think that's permanent. And even if it was, I could very well become a boob man instead of an ass man," Edward, lowering his hands and squeezing her cheeks. "Well, I could be a boob _and_ an ass man."

Giggling, Bella leaned over to give him a quick kiss before moving off of him, still needing to remove his pants.

"That's a huge sacrifice to make," Bella acknowledged, bending over and kissing his happy trail. He felt himself twitch violently. "I think I should reward you for that."

Before he'd even realized what was happening, Bella had his jeans and boxers on the floor and was kissing the tip of his dick. The gates to Heaven opened up and Edward heard the choir of the angels welcome him home. Yes, yes, _yes_! Fuck yeah, Edward kept repeating inside his head as Bella took him in her warm mouth. It wasn't that she was ever unwilling to do this for him, but he never asked and she hardly ever offered. Mostly, the two of them were always so horny when they saw each other they didn't need much foreplay.

He felt her lips trail down his shaft and make their way to his balls; like he imagined her doing every single time he jerked off to his fantasies with her, she sucked them in, pumping her hand up and down his dick. He was a pump away from coming hard, and he knew Bella could tell from how quick he was breathing. Instead of getting the signal that he needed to have her now, she resumed her blow job and swallowed him down all she could without gagging.

"Bella, _shit_ , get off, I'm about to come," he said, digging his fingers into her hair. Looking up at him from underneath her lashes, he swore Bella smirked before doubling down on her efforts. He came, hard, in her mouth a second later, calling out her name and holding her hair as tightly as he could without hurting her. And then she swallowed it down, not even making a yuck face like he would've thought.

"It's not the best taste ever," Bella said, scooting up and against him. "But honestly I prefer it to eating pumpkin by a _lot_."

Laughing hard, he turned his head and bit down on her lip before kissing her. God, how had he found this woman? She was everything he wanted and needed.

"You are," Edward said, switching them so he was now on top of her; he continued, lips against hers. "The love of my life, Bella Swan."

Leaning back, he saw that the tears had skipped the whole 'trailing down her cheeks' and had gone ahead to 'drip down her nose'. Chuckling, he changed his balance so he was resting on one elbow, and with the other arm he wiped her snot.

"You're the love of my life too, Edward Cullen," Bella whimpered, using her hands to brush her thumbs across his cheekbones, his beard. "I don't want love if it's not with you."

He understood what she meant because he felt it, too.

Burying his face in the spot between her neck and her collarbone, Edward reached down for his dick; he was still half-hard, which overjoyed him. He started rubbing his tip up and down Bella's pussy, coating himself in her wetness and passing by her clit every time he could. It was either because of her moans or because of his not-so-old age, but he was hard again within minutes and shoving himself into her in no time flat.

"Edward!" Bella nearly screamed, and the sound was glory to his pride.

"Oh fuck, Bella," Edward moaned, dipping his hips harder and slower, his arms coming around her waist and holding her tightly. "You feel like heaven, baby."

Bella was never the most coherent person during sex, which meant her only reply was to clench harder around him.

 _Oh shit, think of the most unpleasant thing ever_ , Edward screamed at himself, trying not to come again on the spot.

 _Doing your taxes one day before they're due._

 _And_ he was good to go.

"I want to have you like this every fucking day," Edward said, continuing to talk when he realized every time he did Bella clenched harder. She had her legs in a tight lock around him, pushing him in even deeper than he knew he could go. "I want to wake up making love to you and go to sleep fucking you. I want to wake up to you rubbing yourself against me, and I want to go to sleep with your breasts in my hands. Every. Fucking. Day."

Shit, was he asking her to live together?

When Bella came around him, he realized that he kind of was, and he was kind of ok with it.

"I love you," Bella managed to get out; she was faintly aware of him making them switch places so she was now lying on top of him. Instead of making her move, he pinned her hips down, driving up into her and hitting a whole other angle. "Edward!"

Fucking music to his ears.

He picked up the pace, suddenly feeling all his attraction for this woman boil down in his balls; the feeling of her breasts against him, how her hands never ceased trying to find his hair, the tightness and heat his dick was currently enveloped in. Bella started convulsing around him again, which left him no choice but to come inside of her the hardest and longest he ever had.

Without thinking of anything else, and feeling on top of the world, he felt himself drift off to sleep, Bella's weight on top of him a comfort instead of uncomfortable.

"I love you," he mumbled, then passed out.

* * *

"Morning sleepy head," he heard a raspy voice sing, and opening one crusty eye he saw Bella lying beside him. Her eyes were swollen from crying so much, but the testament to her happiness was that she'd woken up before him for the first time in the entirety of their relationship. She was lying on her side, hand tucked underneath her cheek and the other tracing circles around his chest.

"Is the sky falling down?" Edward joked, and Bella gave him a cheeky smile before shaking her head.

"I just woke up like fifteen minutes ago. I realized that me waking up before you was a once in a lifetime chance, so I should enjoy it."

Smiling sleepily, Edward stopped Bella's tracing and held her hand to his lips, giving it a chaste kiss.

"How'd you sleep?"

" _So_ good. I always sleep best when I'm with you," Bella confessed, giggling when Edward suddenly moved so he scooted down in the bed to lay his cheek against her belly.

"I was asking the lil' sprout inside of you, woman," Edward said, blowing a raspberry there that made Bella laugh again.

"Hey! Am I just so easily forgotten?" Bella asked in mock outrage. "That sprout needs somewhere to grow, you know, so you should also tend to the soil."

Edward chuckled, placing another kiss on her lower belly and resting his head there. Bella just laced her fingers through his hair, running them through it over and over again.

"I'd be a fool to forget _you_ , love," Edward said, slipping his arms beneath his girlfriend so he was hugging her around her waist. "But I'm otherwise occupied at the moment speaking to my future daughter."

Bella giggled.

"Daughter? You know already?"

Edward nodded.

"She'll be a daddy's girl. I need one in my life, you know. Alex is already starting to get quite indifferent when it comes to me," Edward whimpered sadly, knowing he only had a couple more years to go before his son started complaining that he didn't want to go on family outings anymore.

"Oh, he's not."

"Oh, he _is_. The other day, when I arrived home with a cut on my finger? He gave it a glance and asked again when you were coming back. I could've fucking bled out in front of him and he'd still have asked for you." Edward complained, giving another kiss to her belly. "So she's got to be a girl, alright? Otherwise I'll be unable to make a comeback from the heartbreak."

Again Bella only laughed off his silliness, knowing he'd love the child no matter the gender. She loved Alex so much that she didn't know if she'd be so terribly set on the child being a girl.

"I just hope the baby loves us as much as we love it. And that we make a good job as parents," Bella pondered, still running her fingers through Edward's hair. She really did love it.

"We will, I'm not worried about that."

They stayed in comfortable silence for a few minutes.

"Hey, Edward?"

"Hm?"

"I want to buy a house for the four of us."

Silence.

But Bella was not deterred.

"Don't get me wrong, I love your house, but… It only fits for you and Alex. And I want us to raise this child together, and unless I misunderstood, I think that's what you want too, right? I wouldn't want to inconvenience Alex with making him share his room with a baby, and as for my apartment, it's only meant for one person to live in. So as much as I love your house and how warm it is… I really want to buy a new one."

Edward's heart was hammering in his chest.

"You… Want us to live together?" Edward asked, and though he didn't see her, he understood she'd nodded. "And you want to buy a house."

"I do. I want one that's big enough for all of us and for receiving our family —and maybe one with a bigger kitchen. I really want this for us, Edward. Do you… want this too?"

The part of him that was too used to society's expectations railed in protest —he understood her offer implied that she'd be the one paying for it, as was logical given that she was rolling in dough. He also understood that it wasn't anything to get offended by, the fact that his girlfriend was insinuating she'd be buying the house. Decisions like this were based on logic, like who earned more. So he tampered down his first reaction, knowing it would get them absolutely nowhere. His next reaction was worry —he'd never lived with Bella, but they'd be jumping into this all of a sudden with a pregnancy in between. While he was thinking of this, Bella spoke.

"I mean, I'm nervous about it. I… when my mother was alive, I was actually always by myself. In foster care, I was always by myself. With the Clearwater family, I always felt more like a guest than another family member roaming the halls, so… This is actually my first time truly living with someone. With _family_. I don't know how good at it I'll be, honestly, but I just… really want to try."

Oh, fuck. _Fine_.

Sighing loudly and dramatically, Edward crawled up until he was eye to eye with his wonderful, shifty-looking girlfriend. He kissed the corner of her mouth.

"Let's do it, Bella. Let's live together."

* * *

 **Guys, I'm so sorry I was late with this update. Honestly I just couldn't get anything done for the last two weeks (the workload suddenly tripled and writing was the last thing I could do), and now I just said 'fuck it, no more homework' and got this done. Thank you for all the reviews! I haven't gotten around to all of them so sorry if I haven't replied, but I do appreciate every single one of them. You guys are the best readers out there. Thanks for reading!**

 **Leah.**

 **P.S. I hope it doesn't come down to it, but I'll probably be absent for two weeks again -just giving y'all a heads up. I'll do my best, but my best is hindered by stuff like sleep and exams. Thanks for your patience!**


	11. Thirty Breaking News

**Disclaimer: I'm just your regular night owl.**

* * *

 _"You're pregnant?"_

This was the scream that followed when Bella told Alice the news. The first person she'd told, of course, was Alice; the rest of the world would come later. The tiny girl would've thrown a fit if she wasn't the first person personally informed.

"I am," Bella smiled, touching her flat stomach. "Six weeks now. It's apparently why I was feeling a bit off during the trip."

Alice's mouth was still hanging open.

"I mean, I don't know if I want to cry from happiness or shock." Alice admitted, nonetheless throwing her arms around her best friend and hugging her tightly. "Tell me I'll be the godmother."

Bella laughed, nodding.

"Of course. I'd have it no other way," Bella said, hugging her friend back.

"So? What did Edward say? How'd he react?" Alice asked, bouncing up and down as she pulled away from her friend. They were in her room; they'd been packing for Alice's move into the dorms within the next couple of weeks when the bomb was dropped. Bella was positively beaming, so she wasn't worried about the man's reaction. Much. Bella tended to be too much of an optimist.

"Oh, he was shocked at first. Went on a walk for fifteen minutes and nearly worried me to death when he got back almost an hour later; he lost track of time, apparently. After that, he told me he was happy about it. _Really_ happy." Bella sighed dreamily, suddenly sitting down at the edge of Alice's bed. "So am I, the more time goes by."

Alice smiled fondly at her best friend, grabbing her desk chair and rolling it over so she was sitting while facing Bella.

"You're gonna be _such_ a good mother, Bell. I'm so freaking happy for you."

Teary-eyed, Bella gave Alice another warm smile. She was going to be a _mother_. Everything inside of her sighed happily.

"You know, many people these days think that being a mom is a bad dream; that somehow, because it's not a career aspiration it's worth less. That as women who've come far in the gender equality issue, it's our duty to want what men have always so naturally had. Or that you're trying to take the easy way out by settling down and making a family. I've heard many arguments, and I understand the people who think this way, I _do_. But, Ali-cat, to me who's never really known what a family _is_ … It's the best dream I've ever had. I thought being an author would be the height of my achievements, but I can't remember feeling this ecstatic even the first time I released a book. I… that Edward gave me this gift, and that I can see it as one, makes me the luckiest woman on Earth."

 _Damn_ , Alice thought, looking at her best friend in surprise. _If someone could shit hearts and giggles, it's this woman._

"So, what're your next steps? Ya know, after letting everyone know the good news."

Bella shrugged.

"Not quite sure. I want to buy a house, but I know Edward's a little skeptical about it. I've become too used to living by myself, and Edward's got the experience of his ex-wife and all. So I understand why he might be worried, but… His house really wasn't planned for another baby, and mine doesn't even have enough space for the three of us. I want us all to be comfortable."

Alice nodded, taking in her words.

"Don't you think maybe that's moving a little fast? I mean, you've only been dating a little less than a year and already you're gonna live together?"

Bella giggled, thanking her worrywart of a friend.

"Al, we're already having a child together. The concept of time has become irrelevant. Besides," Bella continued, a bit absentmindedly. "I know a lot of people. And I can tell you that if there's anyone who's worth giving such a huge chance to, it's Edward. Not to mention that…" Bella coughed a little, dislodging a little something that tried to wedge itself in her throat. "You know I grew up without a father, though not by anyone's fault. Still, whenever I think back to my childhood, I realize that the one thing I was always seeking, besides a good mother, was a steady father figure in my life. Harry became that to me, and he was so wonderful in just a few years in helping me put my life back together that I can't imagine depriving a child of the opportunity of being raised by Edward."

Alice felt her heart squeeze up, and she forced her own tears down. It wasn't often that Bella talked about her family (correction —this simply didn't happen, _ever_ , till the last year), but whenever she did Alice always felt hands trying to cut off her air supply. Bella had gone through so much, and still she'd made herself into an amazing woman. Momma was proud.

"I get what you say," Alice finally said, thinking back to her own experience after getting adopted. "Truth is, I think just the mere fact of having people around that love you is what makes everything better, despite the number. In your case, you had no one for a long time, so when Harry and Sue came along they upped your standards of what's ideal. I have many classmates whose parents are divorced, and I think it's such a shame because what usually happens is that they can only receive love from one parent at a time. Or their parents divorced because one was abusive or neglectful, and my classmate never stopped trying to be loved back. So, like, while I understand divorce is necessary sometimes, the kids always get hurt one way or another."

Wow, this had taken a depressive turn. Alice didn't even know what she was talking about.

"Anyway," Alice abruptly changed the subject, one of her specialties. "When are you finding out the baby's gender? And please, don't you fucking _dare_ tell me it's a surprise."

Bella laughed; no, she'd never even thought about it. She wouldn't be able to hold in her curiosity.

"Around the fourth or fifth month, so there's still a while. And no, Al, Edward _already_ threatened me about not finding out beforehand."

What was it with people thinking she wanted it to be a surprise?

"Speaking of your baby daddy," Alice suddenly remembered a key element in all of this, rolling her eyes when her best friend blushed. "Bella, he _is_."

"I know," Bella mumbled, fidgeting in place. "It just sounds so… dirty."

Fuck.

" _Speaking_ of him," Alice continued, pretending Bella hadn't spoken with so much innocence. "Are the two of you getting married?"

Bella blinked twice.

"Married?"

Alice licked her lips, staring at the mother-to-be.

"You mean to tell me you didn't immediately think to get married? _You_?"

Bella watched a scary movie once and had to go to Church to confess her sins. Alice couldn't seriously believe the same woman would have a child out of marriage.

"Well," Bella said, choosing that moment to lay back on the bed. Alice followed suit. "I just think that it's something that deserves its own planning. I don't want to rush it, on my end. On Edward's end, it'd be his second marriage. I know he wasn't married by the Church, so it's not that we _couldn't_ , but…" Bella sighed, thinking of how the ceiling was starting to get a little bit yellow. It was probably time to repaint it. "I don't know if he wants to try again. I know he loves me, but I don't want to push him into marriage if he isn't ready."

Alice frowned.

"But you've known for a long time that getting married is important to you. What if he tells you that he doesn't want to? Ever? Even if he _does_ want to stay with you?"

Bella hummed, thinking about it. She didn't reply for a couple of minutes, thinking deeply about her answer.

"I really love Edward, you know," Bella said, laying a hand on her lower stomach. "He's… Well. I didn't know I could love someone as much as I love him, as much as I love Alex. I think I really _do_ need the two of them; I need Edward because I love him, and because I want to stay by his side as his children's mother. As for marriage —it's something I desperately want, truthfully. But I don't want _it_ more than I need _him_. If he never wants to marry… I'm not gonna lie, Ali-cat. It'll hurt me, and a lot. I see the ritual as one where we begin a journey together with God, our friends and family as witnesses to our love and devotion to each other. I _want_ to share everything I have with him. Should something happen to him, I want to be able to legally step in for Alex and not have to worry about what'll happen. There's a religious aspect to it, of course, but also a practical one. But… should it come down to it, I'll choose _him_ instead of a ritual."

Alice also sighed.

"I just don't see why _you_ should give up on the one thing you want; you never ask for anything, you'd be raising his two children, you'd even be bringing in the dough. So it's the least he could do to make you happy, right?" Alice grumbled, pissed at Edward's theoretical reaction to the thought of marriage with Bella.

"Alice," Bella smiled softly, not turning to look at the younger girl. "A relationship isn't a scale; it's not about how much one gives and quantifying it. The fact is, Edward _is_ sacrificing things to do this with me —his independence, for one. He's trusting me with his greatest treasure, which is Alexander. He's giving up his home, which I know was hard for him to buy. I, on the other hand, am only receiving. Sometimes we receive, and other times we give."

Alice pursed her lips.

"Aren't you giving up _your_ independence, too? _Your_ home? Giving Edward your future?" Alice retorted, getting more worked up the more time went by. "Why do you think it's only him giving things up? Everything _you're_ receiving, he is, too. The only sacrifice I'll give you is him trusting you with Alexander, which we both know is really a blessing. So no, Isabella, I'm not gonna let you delude yourself into thinking that _he's_ giving up so much and _you're_ not. If anything, you're the one that's gonna end up giving up more things in the long run —and I swear I'll fucking hit you if you try to smile at me and tell me that's not it, pregnancy be damned."

Bella laughed.

"Well, so long as I have _you_ by my side, I feel like nothing can touch me," Bella said, hooking her left arm with Alice's right. "I really want you to meet the little one inside me. Should something happen to me and Edward," Bella said, tightening her grip on Alice briefly before relaxing her hold. "I want you to know, there's no one I'd trust more with my child than you. But I think perhaps, depending of the circumstances, I'd rather for Esme and Carlisle or even Sue or Leah to raise it and Alex; fantastic as I know you'd be, I also don't want to interrupt your life. So if, for some reason, Edward and I don't make you the future guardian in case something happens to us —know that I'd amend that as soon as I thought you were in the position to take care of things. Which probably won't be for a few years."

Alice frowned.

"You're already killing yourself off or something? Nothing'll happen to you, Bell."

Bella cast her best friend a look sideways.

"Alice, you and I both come from parents who never thought to leave us to someone —mine because it never mattered, yours because they didn't foresee any accidents. I'm glad we met, _so_ glad, and I'm sure we went through what was necessary to get to where we are, but… Things would've been much better for me if I'd had someone my mother or father had entrusted me to. I never, ever, want to subject a child of mine to the same system. It's not kind to everyone, and I don't want to take that kind of risk."

Sometimes, Alice forgot how absolutely miserable Bella had been back then. It was convenient for her, truly, to forget her friend's suffering. It made the times where she remembered that much more painful, though, and shameful.

"You're right, Bell. Just… don't talk about dying so much, alright? I feel like you're jinxing it."

Bella giggled.

"You can't help but become a worrywart when you're protecting a life inside of you," Bella said fondly, rubbing her stomach. "And two more."

-.-

"You're… pregnant?"

Rose sat back in her chair, stunned. She and Bella hadn't met in almost two months, which was a nightmare given that Bella had just released a book. _Another_ hit, for what it was worth. They were supposed to meet the week she came back, but the younger girl had cancelled and gone off the grid all of a sudden. Was this why?

"I am," Bella said happily, unable to keep herself from rubbing her flat belly. She'd left Alice's a few hours earlier, knowing she had to tell her editor and friend sooner rather than later. "Six weeks."

Again, Rose just blinked, still stupefied.

"Are you… ok?" Bella hesitantly asked, concerned after a few minutes had gone by and Rose still hadn't answered. The older woman snapped out of it.

"Oh I am, sorry about that. It's just that…" Rose sighed in frustration, hating herself for not being absolutely ecstatic for her friend. "I'm just a bit jealous, is all."

Bella didn't say anything, knowing Rose would elaborate.

"Emmett and I… we've been trying to get pregnant for a long time. It hasn't worked out, to say the least, and it's got us a bit heartbroken, to be honest. Our most recent attempt was… well, it failed. I couldn't keep it longer than two weeks. I…" Rose's lips trembled, looking down. "We're gonna try with in vitro fertilization one time, and if that doesn't work out, then it wasn't meant to be."

Bella reached over the desk to her friend's shaking hand. Giving her one of her most sympathetic smiles, Bella held it tightly, knowing the woman needed comfort.

"Rose," Bella said gently, her grip betraying her real strength. "You _will_ be a mother, one way or another, if that's what you want. There are many children out there who could use a mom like you."

Honestly, Bella hadn't thought of being a mother before now, so she'd never even thought of ever adopting. Being unmarried wouldn't help with such a process, on one hand. On the other… Bella felt perhaps her support would be better aimed at a large number of children instead of just one. She usually went once a week to the local orphanage to play with the children and lend an ear to those who needed it —things _she_ hadn't had that could've helped make her more affable to adults seeking to adopt. She wanted to help the lonely, sad, or angry children who couldn't deal well with their situation. She was really attached to the place she went to, but she felt that if she were ever to adopt the child would have to come from that place —which would make it hard to go back and face the children she couldn't take home and tell them they were all worth loving. Perhaps she was overthinking it, but when it came to so many little hearts, it was best to do your utmost to not stomp on any of them.

"I know, Bella. Thank you," Rose sniffled, trying to suppress her tears. "I'm sure you understand… It's not that I wouldn't _want_ to adopt, but my first instinct is to have my own. To feel them grow inside, to see they have my nose and Emmett's eyes… I have had this dream for as long as I've known that big doofus I married."

Bella understood, really.

"And you should chase it all the way till the end," Bella smiled, releasing her friend's hand. "I'm sorry if my news made you sad, Rose. That wasn't my intention."

Oh, damn her for being such a good person.

"Of course not," Rose coughed, mumbling something to herself. "I'm just indulging in petty jealousy, is all. But I'm happy for you —as much as I can be, I guess."

Bella smiled.

"Thank you, Rose."

* * *

"Mom, would you _please_ stop crying?" Leah cried, shouldering her weeping mother. "You've been at it for the last thirty minutes, and you know I can't stop if you don't."

Bella was with the Clearwater family —Sue, Leah and Laurent had gathered to hear the news in their childhood home. The day after informing Rose and Alice, Bella had decided it was time to make the drive out there. Edward was meant to be telling his parents and Tanya at the same time; the two thought it was something that they wanted to share in private with their families, just in case someone had a bad first reaction. As in, _Edward_ didn't know how his parents would react; they'd seen how much he'd suffered with Lauren, so it wouldn't be strange if they had mixed feelings about it. So the couple had decided to do their announcements separately.

The three Clearwaters had taken it well.

When Bella had suddenly announced that she was pregnant, Laurent's eyes had almost popped out of his head; at the same time, Sue started screeching in excitement while Leah had congratulated her sister for what was obviously good news to her. After the screeches, though, Sue had started sobbing, inciting the susceptible Leah to cry as well. Laurent had just quietly started asking Bella about the pregnancy; how long it had been, what the plan was, what Edward's reaction had been. Bella had decided, for Edward's sake, to not tell the part of him walking out for air anymore. She'd known that even telling Alice would be a bad idea, but she couldn't _not_ tell her oldest ally; her boyfriend's actions being misconstrued was too easy, and she knew how fierce her family could be if pissed off.

"But I'm just so _happy_!" Sue wailed, hugging for the twentieth time her adoptive daughter. "I can't believe I'm gonna be a _grandmother_!"

" _Mom_!" Laurent snapped, frowning intensely. "You're _already_ a grandmother, you old croon. Or does Seth not count somehow?"

But Sue Clearwater was not deterred by her son's attitude.

"That cheeky brat called me _Sue_ the last time he was here! So _no_ , he's out."

Oh yeah, the woman could hold a grudge. Laurent rolled his eyes, but didn't comment on that any further. Seth was going through a phase where he was calling everyone by their given name, even teachers; he'd gotten detention once and he'd stopped doing that in school, at least. He occasionally slipped, though, and called him dad or Tanya mom. Laurent's theory was that Seth wanted to stop calling Irina mom, but in order to do so without creating too much of a fuss he had to do it to everyone, or else heads would roll. Lately, Irina had started getting more… overbearing with Seth. It was hard for the boy to be treated with so much love by his step-mother and then have to be scrutinized during the weekend by his birth mother. Seth loved Irina, he really did, but… Irina was getting increasingly difficult to love. Knowing her, she was scared of losing Seth to Tanya and was going crazy in response. It was a conversation that he was saving for later.

"Oh, we both know you'd rip your heart out for Seth, you kid no one," Leah sniffled, rubbing her mother's back. Leah had been there for Seth's birth, and the way that woman had cried defied all logic or reason.

"No one," Bella emphasized, chortling when Sue shot her a glare. Her tears were finally dying down, probably prompted by Laurent's interference. When the older woman was finally calm enough, she posed her own questions —pretty much the same as Laurent's, except for one final question.

"What did Edward's son say?"

That.

"Oh, um…" Bella fidgeted, avoiding Sue's eyes. "We haven't told him yet. So I'd appreciate nobody telling Seth either until we do."

All of their mouths dropped.

"You _haven't_?" Leah breathed, having truly not expected this from Bella of all people. Said woman flinched.

"Belle, why?" Laurent frowned, moving closer. The trio of women had been sitting on the couch, with Laurent just walking around the room the whole time. Now, Laurent came to sit right in front of Bella, sitting on the edge of the coffee table.

"Laurent, get your ass off my table," Sue snapped, pushing her son with the tip of her shoe. Huffing, Laurent moved so he was sitting on the floor looking up at his family.

"Honestly, I think that… we're scared," Bella confessed shamefully. "Alex could take it well, but he could also take it _very_ badly. We want to be sure of a way to tell him that doesn't hurt him, especially given how much change would be coming his way. He's getting a new sibling, he'd be moving houses, he'd start living with me. We don't know if he'd see all of this as a good thing, especially because… well, he's not getting a say in it. The new sibling is coming either way, and I know Edward and I _want_ to raise this child together, which means we have to live in the same space. His current house wouldn't fit a family of four, and _obviously_ there's no way Alex has the option of living with someone else. I mean… it's all happening _to_ him, and I know how overwhelming it can be. I just want us to think of the best way of saying it."

Laurent flicked her knee.

"Belle, you've got to give him a chance. He needs to find out from the two of you, and if you keep informing everyone before him he's gonna find out from someone else. Not to mention, I know my wife. Secrets are _really_ not her thing."

—.—

" _Again?_ "

Tanya started whacking her brother's back incessantly with a cushion, pouring _way_ too much strength into it.

The Cullen family was currently gathered in the living room, being late at night given how hard it was to match everyone's schedule. Alexander was with Eric, having a sleepover to celebrate their last week of freedom. Edward was _sure_ he'd be picking up a green looking kid tomorrow morning; every time Alex stayed the night at anybody's place, he'd gorge on junk food so much that he'd be sick for the next two days. But oh well; such was the curse of a father.

Now, after the giving he news, he had to admit he was glad he'd done this without Bella. It was better for their natural reaction to come out first and at full capacity in the privacy of their home.

"Again," Edward mumbled, hanging his head. He didn't even try looking up at his parents; he could roughly imagine their faces, anyway.

"Why? Why would you knock someone up _again_? And my husband's _sister_ to boot?"

 _Because I fucked her,_ that's _why, now stop fucking hitting me._

"That's just the way shit happened," Edward grumbled, not saying anything else. If he told his sister to stop, they'd be at it all night long. Even though parents always said you shouldn't hit girls, Edward knew it was a heavy double standard; Tanya had always hit _him_ , but he wasn't allowed to hit back? Nah, fuck that. It was how he'd lost his first tooth, too; he'd pulled out a chunk of her hair and she'd punched him in the mouth. He thought in general siblings hitting each other wasn't something that should be allowed, or hitting anyone in general, but… His sister was the one person on Earth he could fight with to his heart's content; _she_ was fucking strong, too, despite how dainty she looked. It always looked like an unequal fight to an outsider, when they used to kick and fight each other, but they'd always known they were pretty much on equal ground.

So now, with Tanya hitting him with all her might, it fucking _hurt_. But he let her just this once, knowing she needed to let it out.

"Are you… marrying her?" Carlisle asked, cutting his glance to his daughter. "Tanya, stop that. Now."

Ye'sir.

Huffing, Tanya sat back down, placing the cushion in front of her. She and Edward were sitting on one loveseat, facing their parents who sat on the other one.

"No, I'm not," Edward finally answered, glaring at his sister out the corner of his eye. He'd get to her later. "From how shit went down with Lauren, I figured just getting married straight up wouldn't solve anything."

Esme sighed in relief.

"Oh, that's good, son." Esme collapsed against her husband, suddenly feeling way too tired. "I was scared, for a moment, that you'd repeat the same mistake."

Edward shrugged.

"I don't rule out the possibility, mom. Bella's very religious, so there's a chance she'll want to get married; if it was important enough for her—"

"Son," surprisingly, it was Carlisle who admonished him. "Marriage isn't something you do because of someone else. If you marry Bella because it's important to her, it's the same as having married Lauren because you got her pregnant. A marriage born from duty has no future in this society where less and less people believe in working through problems and going straight to divorce."

Edward frowned.

"Like me, you mean?"

Carlisle didn't budge.

"Lauren was a bad woman from the start. No amount of counseling could've helped you through it. Bella, though, is a magnificent woman; I sincerely doubt that she would marry you out of necessity. If she tells you she wants to marry you, respect her enough to know it's because she loves you and not because of her commitment to an institution. If you, though, were to marry her _reluctantly_ … it doesn't matter how much you love her, you won't want to stay with her if you feel like your hand was forced. Especially not with how natural divorce is these days."

Edward knew that his father was right, but he was also feeling kind of attacked. He reacted as such, too.

"You know how hard it was for me to end things with Lauren. There was nothing _natural_ about divorcing her, dad."

Esme put in her two cents.

"Of course not, Edward," Esme said, shooting both men a glare. "What your dad is saying is, basically, he's worried about you. You, Bella and the children. Divorce is hard enough for the couple involved, but imagine how hard it would be for Alex to go through it twice? What your dad is trying to say is… Marry Bella because you love her. If you marry her out of a sense of responsibility, it's highly unlikely the two of you would choose to stay together. Relationships can fail for different reasons, but don't repeat the same mistake."

Heart pounding, Edward got up. He was getting angrier by the moment.

"I came here to give you _good_ news. Bella and I are excited by this, even if it was unexpected or in a wacky order. _I_ am happy about it. She and I are two adults who've decided to go through shit together; _I'm_ not talking about marriage and neither is she. All we wanted was to let everyone know that we're gonna have a new family member. I'm going home now," Edward said to the silent room. He looked down at his sister, who always defended him. "Please don't say anything to Seth until we've told Alex. Bella and I want to do that together."

"Edward—" Esme began, but stopped when she saw that her son was actually angry. He usually was hard to anger, but when he did, it'd take a while for him to cool down.

"The next time you see Bella, at least pretend to be excited, won't you? For her sake."

Edward left, heart hurt and head pounding from the oncoming headache.

* * *

"How'd it go?" Was the first thing Bella asked when she opened her apartment's door to let Edward in. It was half past ten; she'd gotten back home only a little while ago, so she'd been in the middle of putting on her pajamas. Edward had a key to her place, but he was always misplacing it, making her almost always have to open up for him.

Instead of answering, Edward stepped in and closed the door behind him. He looked down at Bella; she was wearing one of his shirts and nothing else. She had pants on one hand, though, so he'd probably arrived before she could put them on.

"Edward? You ok?"

Hunching down, Edward silently grabbed her by the ass and carried her over to the bedroom; she didn't say anything else, just letting him place her gently on her back on the middle of the bed. He lifted her shirt quietly, then slipped his arms under her ass. He laid a kiss on her lower belly, then placed his cheek there. Blinking, heart torn to bits, Bella just brushed her fingers through his soft hair.

"I wish the baby has your hair," Bella suddenly said. "My mom was a redhead, you know. So I think there's like a 50/50 chance it does."

Edward said nothing, choosing to just kiss her belly again.

"And if they have Alexander's charm, I'd be happy. Or his spark. Or your kindness. I suppose if they just resemble you a tiny bit I'd be happy." Bella said, feeling how Edward's arms got tighter around her the more she spoke. "But even if they were totally different from you, that's fine, too. I'd love them as much as I love you."

Edward swallowed hard, dreading what he had to say.

"Bella… What if I told you I never wanted to remarry? That I want to be with you, but not get hitched. What… would you say?"

He felt Bella's hand pause its movement for a few seconds before continuing its caresses.

"I'd ask you why not," Bella said, staring up at the ceiling.

"Because I did it once for someone else, and it hurt three people. And I'm afraid that doing it again would hurt four."

Bella didn't reply this time, and even after ten minutes went by, there was still no answer from her. For a moment, Edward thought she'd fallen asleep thinking; then she spoke, and all he could do was hold her tighter through her words.

"I think I'd be hurt. Very hurt. I'd understand, but I think as the years went by it'd be harder to avoid the sting. I'd be worried, too. What if you got hurt and I couldn't run to your side because I'm your wife in all but paper? What if something happened to me, and this child couldn't go straight to your care? So I think I'd be hurt, and worried, and sad."

Edward felt his mouth was much too dry.

"Would you leave me for someone who was willing to marry you?"

Bella thought she was doing a good job of talking calmly, despite how unceasing her tears were.

"Not _for_ someone who was willing to marry me," Bella managed to get out. "But because it would hurt to think the person I'm in love with sees marrying me as a burden."

Her words snapped Edward out of his trance. He sat up in a hurry, but before he could say anything Bella had turned her back to him.

"Can you please leave for today? I want to be alone."

His heart hurt, but the leftover anger from earlier spoke. He got off from the bed.

"What, so I say one thing you're not happy to hear and you kick me out? Is _that_ how this works?" When Bella didn't reply, Edward scowled even harder. "Bella, fucking _answer_ me. Are you a kid? You gonna give me the silent treatment?" Still nothing. "Fuck, fine. This is what I get for _again_ knocking up a woman I've known for just a year. And you want me to marry you? When we hadn't even fucking _fought_ before? I was just being honest with you, and you take it to heart like this. Fuck."

Calmly, just like always, Bella sat up; she met Edward's eyes, and he saw that she had tear tracks down her cheeks. But he didn't budge; not yet.

"You're hurting me, Edward. And if this is how you become when you're angry, can I trust _this_ isn't who you are? Someone who hurts, who says mean things, who is condescending. Is _this_ who you are, Edward Cullen?"

Her words were like a slap in the face. _Was_ this who he was? Who he wanted to be? He saw the hurt in her eyes, the pinched look on her face. The expression that said she didn't recognize who she was talking to.

"Bella—"

"I told you, didn't I? That I would always steer clear of anything and anyone who might rob me of peace. I might be a lot of things, Edward, but I'm not a masochist. I have lived too long withstanding others putting me down to let someone else do it again. So," Bella said, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. "I am asking you to leave before you say something you can't fix."

Swallowing down bile, Edward took one last look at the woman he loved most and did as she asked. What else could he do? He'd fucked it all up.

* * *

Beep.

 _"Bella, it's Edward. Please pick up the phone. We need to talk about this."_

Beep.

 _"Love, please pick up the phone. I don't know where you are, and Alice won't tell me shit. I need to know you're ok… That we're ok."_

Beep.

 _"Bella, for fuck's sake! I know you're angry with me, but come back. Please, it's been a week already. You're somewhere alone, and if something happens to you or our kid… Fuck, I'll die. I really will. Please come back already."_

Beep.

Sobs.

 _"Bellaaaa…. yer not gonna leave, right? Cause of what I said? I mean, I know I fucked uuuup, but I can't wrong rights… right wrongs… if you don't let me. Call me—"_

* * *

"Thanks for letting me crash here, Rita," Bella thanked for the nth time the woman in front of her, who just laughed it off.

"Please, after all you've done for me? It's the least I could do. You're no trouble, really. Stay as long as you want." Rita said, smiling at the woman. Rita was a surgeon; she and Bella had met during one of her trips to the hospital in her teenage years, and they'd become good friends. A couple of years ago Rita had decided to join a private practice by the beach, and had bought a bungalow to match. It was very nice, but more than anything, it was a three-hour ride from home. Bella'd told Alice where she was going, but had left her phone home. She needed to not wait around for Edward's mails, texts or calls.

"Would you mind if I stay for a week? I promise I'll be out of your hair by then."

Rita just waved her off.

"You can stay for a month and I won't mind, girl. Really. All I ask is you let me help you when you're ready, ok?" Rita grinned brightly, pulling the younger girl in for a hug.

"Thank you," Bella mumbled, holding back a sob. As if presenting what was gonna happen if she didn't let go, Rita released Bella and quickly herded her to the back of the house.

"The beach is over there; the towels are in that closet if you want to take one. I personally recommend going out to take in some fresh air." Rita said, kissing her friend on the cheek. "I've gotta go now, Bells. Call me if anything happens, alright?"

Bella nodded, giving her friend the best smile she could muster.

With a quick adieu, the doctor left, off to save lives in other ways.

Soon enough, Bella was laying down on the sand of the calm, nearly empty beach.

In the silence, words flittered through her head.

 _"I don't know if he wants to try again. I know he loves me, but I don't want to push him into marriage if he isn't ready."_

Another.

 _"Bella… What if I told you I never wanted to remarry?"_

Another one.

 _"Fuck, fine. This is what I get for_ again _knocking up a woman I've known for just a year. And you want me to marry you? When we hadn't even fucking_ fought _before? I was just being honest with you, and you take it to heart like this. Fuck."_

Unbidden, a memory surfaced from the back of her mind. One where her mother had a black eye, and she was talking on the phone with someone. A friend, Bella had assumed. _"He just snapped,"_ Renée had said. Bella hadn't known then, nor did she now, who her mother had spoken about. But she did understand now what the words had meant; that sometimes the people you didn't expect to lost their mind, and they did what you thought would never happen. No, Edward hadn't punched her —not physically. She, herself, had once had an explosive temper; but she'd been fourteen then, not thirty-one. She'd had no one who cared then to correct her, and she'd been a child. Edward was a grown man, and he'd chosen to hurt her. He'd called her 'a woman he'd known for just a year', he'd questioned her getting hurt. He told her he didn't want to marry again —as if she could ever be a woman like Lauren. She _wasn't_ looking to get married right now, so it wasn't that she'd demanded of him anything. Was it so wrong to want something and express it? He'd asked her a question and she'd given him an answer. Was she expected to lie? To reach forty and _then_ confess she was unhappy that he hadn't married her? She could've, to be perfectly honest, if he hadn't insinuated they were destined to fail. If he hadn't made it sound like she was… 'another woman'. Marriage wasn't a dealbreaker for her, but being with someone who snapped when angry was.

Bella shivered; the wind was chilly over here, and she'd arrived in shorts and a t-shirt. She'd go back in a while, but right now…

The sound of the waves crashing against the seashore was just too relaxing.

* * *

"Hello?"

 _"Edward dear. Are you ok? We haven't heard from you in a few days, and we've been worried sick."_

"Hey mom, I'm… not gonna lie, I'm in a fucking dump right now. Thanks for taking care of Alex, by the way. I don't want him to see me this way."

 _"Of course, he's our grandson, honey. Edward… Please talk to us. Is it about the other day? Did something happen with Bella?"_

A sigh.

"I fucked up, mom. Big time. I said some things… Shit, what am I gonna do if she breaks up with me? What if she decides to raise the child by herself? Or if she drops off the face of the Earth for good, and I never see her again?"

 _"Baby, what did you say?"_

A retelling.

 _"Oh, Edward Anthony Cullen, how could you?"_

Anger.

"No, it's not about how could _I_. You _and_ dad got those ideas in my head. I'd never even thought of that shit, and yet you started telling me I couldn't marry her because of this and that when she hadn't even thought of it, either! It's not fair, ma! You're the people I love and trust most in the world, and yet you said _exactly_ that about us. You think I could just _ignore_ what you said?"

More anger.

 _"Oh no, Edward, your father and I told you our_ worries _. We never said you shouldn't marry_ her _—just that it had to be for the right reasons. We did not make you utter such things, and the fact that at this age you're unable to make yourself accountable for your words is incredibly concerning. You want to fix this? Fix yourself. Fix that mouth of yours. Your anger tantrums might not be frequent, but they are hurtful. You're an adult. Act like one. You might be able to fix things this time, but next time? Your words hurt Bella, but imagine if they'd been aimed at Alex. That would've_ scarred _him. Get help, Edward, and stop fucking drinking."_

Hang up.

* * *

When Bella arrived home, she found that the lights were turned on. Everything was pristine, but there was a clear bag filled with what seemed like beer bottles inside. Huh?

"Alice?" Bella called out, doubtful. Alice was meant to be about to leave for college. She heard a thump, and then there Edward was, looking like a hot mess by her bedroom's doorframe. "Edward? It's a Thursday night, aren't you supposed to be at home?"

He walked the short distance to where Bella stood. He smelled like he was fresh from the shower, but he looked like death incarnated.

"I haven't gone to work this week. I've let James get a handle of things in my absence."

Disappointed, Bella frowned.

"I realized you left your phone, so I'm not expecting you to have gotten my voice calls. But… are you ok? Where were you?"

Bella sighed, putting down her bags.

"At the beach; I stayed at a friend's house. Your dad was her mentor, she says." Bella said, not seeing the point in lying or avoiding the questions.

"I'm glad. She would've been able to help you, if anything had happened." Edward said, looking genuinely relieved. Bella relaxed a fraction; so, she didn't have to expect a yelling match.

"She would've," Bella agreed, then crossed her arms over her chest. "What are you doing here, Edward?"

He gave a few steps closer, towering over her as always.

"Waiting for you to come back. I was worried, and I needed to see you. To fix things."

Bella pinched her lips together, the last week suddenly crashing down on her.

"I'm tired, Edward. Can we do this tomorrow?"

But Edward shook his head profusely.

"Today. Please. I've been in hell the last few days, thinking of everything. Let me fix us."

Bella gave a deep sigh, but ultimately gave in. His eyes were too sad, too sincere, too beautiful to say no to.

"Let me put on my pajamas."

Edward waited for her outside, in the living room. He saw her come back out —this time wearing pants and her U-Dub shirt. She looked the most tired he'd ever seen her, and it pulled at his heartstrings to know he'd been the cause.

"Talk to me, Edward."

And so Edward did. He spoke of everything his family had said, how his fears had suddenly bubbled to the surface. That he'd felt so shackled to Lauren that the mere concept of marriage freaked him out; that he hadn't, actually, tried envisioning himself tied that way to Bella. That his previous union had been so awful beginning to end that he had a hard time separating a happy marriage from one out of duty. That he loved her —always. That he wanted her —always. And that he didn't want any other partner. That he shouldn't have reacted that way, and instead have taken his time in imagining what a world with Bella as his wife would look like… if it was something he would like. That he shouldn't have talked to her that way, or pushed aside her hurt. That he was grateful she didn't fall down the same hole he had, because it made him reflect that much more on his words and actions. Most importantly, he told her he wouldn't make any empty promises. He told her he'd go to anger management sessions because even if his outbursts weren't frequent, they never should've happened. He didn't want her having to put up with bad behavior, nor have to fear he could get out of hand. He never wanted to react in such a way with Alex or the unborn baby. But, most importantly, he didn't want to lose _her_.

"You can't know for certain, obviously, that I plan to get a handle of things. That I _do_ regret and abhor what I said. I know I gave you a lot of excuses, but ultimately…. It's like my mother said. I have to take responsibility for my words, and I will. I _said_ those horrible things, Bella, and I want to do everything I can to change that part of myself."

Edward finished his monologue after half an hour, having laid himself bare at Bella's feet. She hadn't interrupted him once; had simply listened, waited for the moment he was done. When he was, she finally talked.

"I knew you'd be scared about getting married, Edward. And I told Alice that I needed _you_ more than I needed that paper. I need you to trust me when I tell you these things and not unload your anger on me. I _understand_ why what your parents said weighed you down, and I trust you when you say you didn't even think of what being married to me meant. I'm sorry I shut you down, I truly am. But please trust _me_ when I tell you I want to be alone; I don't know how to handle strong emotions while being around someone else. I used to rage at anything that crossed my path, but that's not who I want to be. I learnt to be quiet when I couldn't let out anything good. Edward," Bella finally met Edward's eyes. They were bloodshot, as were hers. "I have been made a scapegoat to too many people's feelings. Don't make me yours, please."

Edward hung his head in shame.

"I'm sorry, Bella. There's really nothing else I can say. I didn't realize I had this problem until now, but I want to work on it. Will you… help me through it?"

Bella stood up from the couch.

"Of course I will. As long as you make an effort, so will I. That's what _I_ can promise you."

Edward's lips trembled.

"Can I stay the night?"

Smiling softly, Bella nodded.

"Oh thank fuck," Edward breathed, rushing to Bella's side and crushing her in a hug. "I sleep like shit when you're not there. Even shittier when we're not on good terms."

He kissed her repeatedly on the top of her head.

"Me too," Bella mumbled truthfully.

The couple walked inside the room, climbed on the bed and got under the covers. Edward opened his arms, and Bella scooted back so he could spoon her. He felt how his heart finally settled down, how his lungs could finally finish expanding.

"I don't think I ever told you this," Edward whispered, hoping Bella hadn't fallen asleep yet. "But I never told Lauren I loved her. Her, or any other woman. But _you_ … you, I even dream I tell you I love you. You, I need. I'll win your trust back. Will you let me?"

Bella snuggled deeper into him.

"I told you, didn't I? A man once gave me a million chances to prove my worth; I can give you as many as you show me you're worth. Act like you meant it and you can have a billion chances; never make any progress and you will probably only have a handful of opportunities."

Edward kissed the back of her head.

It would be a challenge, but for the sake of his family, he had to learn the weight of words.

And he would.

He could live without words; he couldn't live without Bella Swan.

* * *

 **Phew! Guess what, folks? Next is the last chapter! I'll try to make it extra long. I know I warned you last time I'd take longer in updating, but I wanted to apologize for taking even longer. As I'm sure many of you noticed, I suck at multitasking -be it in real life or in writing two stories at once. But now He Did, She Said is done! Yay! It took me longer than expected, honestly. Nearly a year. But this one's quicker. Shorter. Faster. Stronger. It's 2 in the morning, so forgive me for any and all typos. Also, sorrynotsorry I made them fight. Honestly, it wasn't planned, but shit just happened. And truth is, couples fight. Some respectfully, some have shouting matches. Shouting matches are _bad_ , people; I want y'all to know nobody should ever put up with one. My parents have been married twenty-six years and I've never once seen them raise their voice at each other or be hurtful on purpose. I mean, my dad _can_ be kind of explosive, which isn't good, but I'm also quick to be like 'nuh uh father', so he's gotten better with the years. I'm gonna hit the sack now. Also, thanks as always for the lovely reviews, and for every favorite and follow. **

**Leah.**


	12. Epilogue: The Ghosts Long Gone

**Disclaimer: I'm never ready for endings. Also, to all of you who pointed out Bella should stop running away - _yeah_ , ok. You're right. I did think I should address that but at 2 in the morning sometimes you omit some stuff, so here's my apology. Damn this is a long one, too.**

* * *

One week later, on a Sunday morning, Bella and Edward decided it was about time to bring Alexander up to speed. Wanting to both mellow him and give him a fun day, the two suggested that Alex pick something he wanted to do; the eleven year old boy decided that it was time to go to the aquarium. Apparently, he was going through a phase where fish were the coolest thing. Edward knew it was a phase because his son always started with 'The coolest thing _ever_ ' before he dropped it like a hot potato one week later.

Edward and Bella watched with a smile as Alex gaped in fascination at the sea creatures surrounding him. Neither was too fond of aquariums, finding the smell a bit off-putting and the thought of caged animals distasteful, but it was worth the trip to see the boy so happy. No use popping his bubble yet; truth was, at least the aquarium was better than most zoos.

Hand in hand, they slowly walked behind the energized kid.

"You know something?" Bella suddenly said, getting a hold of Edward's attention. He hummed, not taking his eyes off his son but squeezing her hand to let her know he was listening. "I realized that I didn't tell you back then something important."

"Back then?" Edward raised an eyebrow, not knowing what she was talking about. Back when?

"After we fought three weeks ago," Bella said, smiling lightly when she felt him tense up beside her. Did he think she wanted to fight him or something? "I realized I never apologized for what _I_ did, too. I'm… not good with conflict. I shouldn't have told you to leave my apartment. I should've made more of an effort to talk things out, to converse through the hurt. I should've been more understanding, too. You were still sore from your conversation with your parents, but I took it personally, like you said. I'm sorry, Edward."

Edward brought her hand up and kissed the back of it. He wasn't used to receiving sincere apologies; it was always him making them. With most people, because it was the only way to keep the peace (with Lauren, because he'd just wanted her to shut up). With Bella, because honestly his fuck-ups were more numerous than hers.

"I understand, love," Edward said, and he truly did. She'd come a long way with surpassing what her circumstances almost led her to be, but there were things that lingered that only time could help with. "Just… Stop running away, please? And dropping off the grid?"

Feeling heavy with the truth and his concern, Bella nodded, sighing.

"I… When I was a kid, my mother used to yell at me a lot. I remember I used to yell back, and we'd be in a screaming match until one of the neighbors came to shout at us to keep it down. Eventually, I got tired of yelling; one day, I just shut myself off in my room and didn't come out until the next day. By then, her anger had evaporated and we'd gone back to normal. I realized then that time and space were more effective in ending arguments than yelling back. By the time I was in foster care, instead of locking myself in a room I'd leave the house and come back a few days later. It still worked, even if I also got told off for leaving. Then I started writing, and whenever I had a writer's block I found that leaving also helped. At some point, running away and doing what I could to hash out a chapter stopped being separate things, and one became as natural as the other. What I did to sway my anger, which was cutting off contact from everyone, became what I needed to write."

Bella swung Edward's hand between them, looking straight ahead. Talking about these things was never easy, but for him she would do it.

"What I'm trying to say is, if I want to change one behavior I must change the other, given that they're so tangled up. And I _will_ ; I can't keep doing this to you, and I can't make Alex or our child grow up thinking that what I do is normal. I need to be around and learn how to overcome a block from home, and I need to stop running every time I don't want to fight. So what I mean to say is," Bella looked up with a small smile, her eyes teary. "I'll work on myself, too. So I can be tougher when you need me to be, and so the kids don't repeat my mistakes."

At that moment, Edward realized he wanted to marry this woman. He wanted to fuck up together and figure things out together; he wanted her to carry his name, and he wanted her to know that the commitment she felt towards him was mutual. He wanted her by his side, always; he wanted the papers that came along with marriage and the privileges that came along with it, too. He wanted her to state proudly that she was his wife, just as he wanted to shove a ring on her finger that would state clearly that she was his —that her heart belonged to somebody. He wanted to acknowledge the path she'd walked —from troubled to peaceful— and the best way he could think of doing that was going through the ritual together. He didn't feel it as a compromise; he felt it as a gift he wanted to both give and receive. Give, because he could give her his vow before the God who'd saved her; receive, because her happiness was his.

Edward chuckled, startling Bella. When she just gave him a questioning glance, Edward hip-checked her and sped up the pace to not lose sight of Alex.

"I'll tell you later," he said, and his grin was so wide that Bella took his word for it. "And thank you, love. Somehow, you always say what I need to hear."

For lunch, Bella said she'd cook. They went to buy the ingredients (Alex tried and failed to buy a cartful of junk food) at a nearby supermarket, and Bella set to work in Edward's kitchen. She had Edward in chopping and Alex in setting the table; about a third of the time was spent smacking away hungry fingers trying to pick at the unfinished meal. By the time that they'd sat down to eat, all of their stomachs had been grumbling for an hour.

"Alex," Edward began, about twenty minutes after the boy had been talking non-stop about the aquarium. Both adults had been listening attentively, but they were also on their last nerve by then and needed to get it out. "Bella and I have something to tell you."

Alexander put his fork down slowly, hesitantly swallowing. His eyes flickered from one adult to the other one.

"What is it?" Alex asked, nervous about the sudden tension in the room. "Did I do something?"

Edward quickly shook his head.

"Not at all, son."

Bella took over, realizing then that Edward wasn't going to manage to get the words out.

"Alex, you know I love you, right?" Bella asked, and slowly the boy nodded. "And you know that nothing can or will change that, right?"

Sudden panic took over him; Alex clenched his hands into fists, trying to breathe steadily.

"Are you… breaking up with dad?"

It made sense, Alex thought. She'd been gone for a month, and the weeks following she'd been pretty much gone. His dad had been so upset for a week that he'd stayed for a week at his grandmother's, and Alex had thought perhaps Bella had something to do with it. Was this why? They'd been thinking of a way of telling him?

"What? Oh God, no! No, we're not breaking up, Alex. No way. I'm still crazy in love with your dad, I couldn't do that," Bella rushed out, squeezing her eyes shut. God, this wasn't going as planned. She took a deep breath and opened them to see a still-shaken boy in the process of calming down.

"Then…?"

 _Oh, just out with it, Bella._

"I'm pregnant, Alex. You're gonna be a big brother in a few months." Bella blurted this out quickly, trying to rip it off like a band-aid.

"Oh," Alex whispered, suddenly collapsing in his chair. "You… and dad?" Alex suddenly wrinkled his nose. " _Gross_."

Edward and Bella laughed.

"Alex, I know this is a lot to take in," Bella continued, leaning a bit forward over the table. "But I just need to know you understand what this means. The three of us —the _four_ of us— will start living together. In a new house, somewhere we can all fit. And—"

"So, you're gonna be my mom now?" Alex asked, but his tone and expression were hard to read. Edward tried stepping in, but Bella beat him to the punch.

"Only if you want me to be," Bella said honestly. She got up from her seat, which was to Edward's left; she rounded his seat and went to sit down on the free chair next to Alex. " _I_ want to be your mom. I think it'd be the greatest privilege ever, if you wanted me to be. But I don't _have_ to be, and I'll understand if you say you don't want that from me."

Alex looked down at his half-eaten meal.

"One of my classmates said that you only have one mother and one father. I thought that's… unfair, because the mother I have is not even around. She doesn't care about me, but she'll be my mother for the rest of my life. I thought…" Alex swallowed hard. "I thought it'd be nice if _you_ were my mom."

Edward and Bella held their breath. Did he mean…?

"Be clear, son. We need to know what, exactly, you're feeling."

Alex looked between his father and Bella, pondering for a moment or two what he felt. He remembered how hectic every day had been, back when his mom was around; how sour his father's face had been, how annoyed his mother's eyes had turned every time she'd even seen her husband's face. He'd seen pictures, too, of the two back when he hadn't been born yet, and their expressions had been pretty much the same. But now, every time his dad saw Bella he'd smile, or his eyes would soften up, or he'd laugh. The look on his face was the same as Seth's dad when seeing Aunt Tanya, or the same as Grandpa's when seeing Grandma. Besotted, he'd heard was the word. And in turn, Bella saw his father the same way. Even better, she looked at _him_ that way, too. Fondly, lovingly, happily. Like every word out of his mouth was a good one and every breath he took a blessing. When Alex thought of having a little sibling, a part of him was envious —someone would be there taking those eyes away from him. Those eyes he _finally_ had all to himself. At the same time, he was thankful to his coming sibling; maybe he wouldn't be getting a new mom if not for them. Not to mention, the more he thought about it, the more he wished for a little brother; he needed someone to prank, someone to play with, someone always on his corner. He'd seen how fond Jane was of her brother, and thought how nice it was to have someone with you.

The truth was, despite the mixed in jealousy and wish to rebel, it was an overwhelming portion of Alexander that was glad about the news. A new house, a new mother, a new sibling. The change was great, but so were the benefits. He loved Bella —he had ever since that one day where she decided to speak to his angry self— and he of course loved his father (who'd patiently put up with his tantrums and nasty attitude when no one else had). He loved his house —but the thought of getting a _bigger_ room, or having a wider kitchen, excited him. And he liked being an only child, having all of his dad's attention and Bella's interest, but… perhaps the times where he felt lonely would diminish even more now.

"Alex?" Edward's voice snapped him out of his musings. He'd stared off into space and was kinda just looking at an empty wall.

"What're your thoughts? You can share them with us, whatever they might be," Bella said kindly, and it was this that prompted him to be honest.

"I'm jealous when I think your attention will be divided now. That Bella's gonna love _it_ more than me because she's not my real mother," Alex admitted, needing to first get his nasty feelings out. He was about to continue when Bella suddenly clasped his hands in hers. She held them so tightly that Alex was astounded by how much strength the woman had in her small body.

"Sharing blood doesn't make a family, Alexander. It's why your birth mother isn't here and why I am. We've decided to be a family, and that's as good as any. You know Laurent doesn't share any blood with Leah, but they're siblings through and through, and Sue loves the two equally. So will I; at times one of you will need more attention, but more attention doesn't equal more love. So please, don't think that you'll be less my son because you're not half of me, alright?" Bella implored this of Alex with such sincere eyes that he could do nothing more than to nod dumbly. How couldn't he, when it was so obvious she needed his understanding?

"Despite that," Alex coughed, continuing what he'd been about to follow with. "It makes me happy to think that we can be a… family. That I'll get a new sibling, too. So Bella," Alex finally met the woman's eyes. "Can you be my mom?"

Bella's smile was so wide it _had_ to hurt.

"Oh, Alex," Bella pulled the boy in for the longest, strongest, most warming hug of his life. "I will."

* * *

"I can't believe you're pregnant, too," Bella cried happily, hugging Rose a little bit too tightly. But the blonde couldn't have cared less; she was _finally_ fucking pregnant, too. "And twins, too!"

Rose held back tears.

While Bella was five months along, Rose was ten weeks into her pregnancy. After their conversation in Emmett's office, Rose hadn't been able to hold back much longer and had simply begged her husband to support her decision. Emmett hadn't needed much convincing; he wanted children as much as Rose did, and they started pouring their effort and money into it. Through the wonder that was science, Rosalie and Emmett had landed themselves twins. So not only did life give them one gift, it gave them two.

"I know," Rose sniffled, hugging her friend. "I also can't believe you _just_ started showing!"

Bella laughed, touching her bump as a reflex. Not only was she skinny, this was her first pregnancy; supposedly, factors like this influenced how early or late the bump started showing. It didn't help that Bella had suddenly started doing a _lot_ of exercise to compensate for her unhealthy cravings; Nutella had become such a necessity in her life that she now bought it by the bulk, much to Edward's dismay and Alexander's joy. Bella was eating a _jar_ every single day; she did her best to eat well the rest of the meals and do a lot of exercise, but those chocolate goods were hers the moment she woke up. As in, she even had one on her nightstand on hold for whenever she woke up in the middle of the night.

"Edward was nervous that I didn't show until now," Bella laughed. "He kept wondering if something was wrong despite the sonograms being fine."

Rose giggled along.

"I feel bad, leaving them to do all the work," Bella said honestly, watching as Edward, Jacob, Emmett, Laurent, Seth, Alex and even Carlisle moved boxes from her apartment to the moving truck; she'd tried doing _something_ , but every single man had yelled at her not to move. In the end, she'd compromised by going with Rose (who was lending her husband for the task) to go buy them lunch.

"It's fine. They need the exercise," Rose laughed, waving Bella's concerns off. "By the way, how's Alice? I'm sure she wishes she could've been here."

Bella nodded in dismay.

"She's got a lot of projects to turn in, after all. Plus, Berkeley's not that close. She needs her full attention where she is."

The months flying by had meant a lot of change. September had come and gone, and with it Bella's twenty-third birthday as well as Alice's start of college life. In the beginning, Alice had called Bella nearly every single day moaning about tough classes, rude professors and disinterested classmates. Eventually, though, when she'd settled in more and had found people she liked, the calls had diminished to once a week. Now, with the semester almost over, Alice sounded much happier than she had before. Jasper's college only being an hour away helped, too.

"She's a future fashionista, isn't she?" Rose asked, watching as Seth and Alex carried a box labeled 'kitchen' into the truck. The two women were just sitting on a nearby bench holding drinks and food, ready to hand them out when one of the guys got hungry.

"She is," Bella said proudly. "She's so good at it, too. I know she'll go very far."

"Speaking of people who've gone very far," Rose said, casting a sideways glance to Bella. "When's your next hit coming out? Public's waiting, you know."

Bella nodded; she did, in fact, know.

"Not for a while. Right now I want to focus everything I have in making the transition smooth for Alex and Edward, and I don't want any stress to affect Nathaniel."

Rose's eyebrows climbed into her hairline.

"You have a name already? It's a _boy_?"

Excited, Bella broke out into a huge smile.

"Nathaniel Harrison Cullen; he'll be born near Valentine's. Edward cried," Bella said emotionally, not bothering to mention that she suspected about 2% of the tears were dedicated to the daughter that couldn't be. He really _did_ want a daddy's girl. "Alex was even more excited than the two of us; I have a hunch he's looking for a partner in crime."

Rose chuckled a bit, thinking of the redheaded troublemaker.

"I hope he and the twins become good friends. It'd be nice, given how Emmett and Edward have also known each other almost since birth, too." Rose said, touching her own small bump; given that she was carrying two kids, it was only expected her baby bump would start showing sooner. That, and how Rose took the whole 'eating for two' quite seriously.

"I _would_ really like that," Bella grinned back, knowing deep down that the children would be thick as thieves.

"You know, I never thought Edward would find a good woman," Rose suddenly admitted, surprising her friend. She shrugged sheepishly. "I mean, he always dated horrible women even back in high-school. They'd either outright mistreat him or be the kind of two-faced woman that was only nice to him. When he knocked Lauren up, Emmett had been about ready to faint from the stress every single day. 'She's not worth even half of Edward's pinky!' he would say furiously, and he almost blew a gasket when Edward asked Lauren to marry him. Did you know?" Rose cast a sideways glance to Bella. "Emmett and I didn't attend his wedding. He was set on making Edward see that Lauren would make him miserable, to the point that when Dorkward decided to marry that hack Emmett just outright refused to go. I would've gone for the doofus, honestly, but Emmett asked me to support him and… I couldn't tell him no."

Rose took a sip from her sparkling water, lost in her story. Bella was just too surprised by the ordeal to intercept.

"Edward didn't talk to Emmett until Alex was about to be born, which I think is a pity given how excited Em was for Edward to be a father. I mean, I understand _why_ Edward was angry —I would've been too if my best friend hadn't gone to my wedding on purpose. I also understand why Em did what he did —he was making his own statement of concern over his friend's future, even if it _was_ overstepping a bit. Maybe it's one of the reasons why the marriage started so sour, maybe it had nothing to do with it. I bet not, with how badly they got along anyway. So when Edward and Lauren divorced, Emmett literally threw a party. He even—" Rose snorted, recalling the incident. "He even sent Lauren an invitation accidentally on purpose. I swear I've never heard anyone yell at my husband over the phone that way. Not that Em cared; he just let her rant while making dinner, said bye when she was done and hung up. I'm not saying I'm proud of what he did but… I love my husband."

A part of Bella wanted to be amused; she really did, given how absolutely miserable her boyfriend appeared to have been. But she also thought of the woman she'd met in the restaurant, and how her own life hadn't seemed all that happy; how, for all she'd put Edward through, maybe she hadn't ended her own misery yet. It didn't feel right to rejoice in Lauren's misery because… Bella felt a piece of her heart empty and fill with peace. It didn't feel right because _Bella_ was so happy that she didn't need anyone to suffer in order to feel better.

Bella didn't say this; she knew that Rose wouldn't understand and would wave her off for being too sensitive. Not that Bella minded the description; she'd been uncaring, once, and she liked herself far more this way.

"Edward never told me," Bella said instead. "I guess to him the fight was just a small rift in his long friendship with Em."

Rose nodded.

"Edward's surprisingly good with grudges, you know. Don't let him fool you. It's only when the mood strikes that he's quick to forget."

Bella wanted to argue against that statement, but found that she couldn't. The fact that Edward had hardly exchanged more than a few conversations with his parents and sister in the months following their argument was proof of Rosalie's words. A large part of Bella wanted to step in and get them to just apologize to each other, but an even larger part of her was —perhaps unjustly so— touched by the sentiment. Edward was standing up for himself and for Bella. Bella, who'd never known what it felt like to be stood up for. When Edward had told Bella what his parents had said, exactly, she was torn between feeling sad and understanding of what they'd meant. Sad, because it kind of felt like they thought she would or could force him into marriage. Understanding, because they hadn't lied —Alex wouldn't be able to handle two divorces, and one should never marry out of duty. It was all true, as much as it was hurtful; she knew that Edward wasn't _angry_ over their words, but hurt on her and his behalf. They'd gone last week to the Cullen household to announce Nathan's name and gender, and while things hadn't gone badly, Edward's sullenness had been palpable.

 _"Carlisle and I just wanted to make sure you know this, Bella," Esme had said when the trio had been about to head home. "We would love to have you as a daughter-in-law. Just not because our son feels like it's an obligation."_

And Bella _did_ know; Carlisle and Esme were great people, and they cared deeply about their family. Sometimes, it could be hard to take in news you didn't think were all that positive. Your son getting two different woman pregnant _could_ be quite off-putting, Bella suspected.

"Forgive and forget is easier said than done, isn't it?" Bella mused out loud, and the other woman merely hummed in agreement.

"Hey, babe!" Edward suddenly called out from the moving truck. When Bella glanced in his direction, he gave her a beautiful smile. "I love you!"

Everything inside of Bella Swan melted to goo.

"I love you, too!" Bella called back, but Edward scowled and shook his head.

"I was talking to Nate! You're just ok!"

-.-

"Hey, Bella?"

"Yes, Edward?"

"I'm really glad you talked me into buying this house. I feel bad that you bought that piano for Alex, but he's just so fucking _happy_ …"

"Edward, I told him. He's my son now. Spoiling him is part of my job description, especially with how much he loves to play. Besides, I'm also waiting for you to give me my own private concert."

"Fuck no woman. I'm too rusty."

"You're not, you always say that before you blow me away with one of your skills. Please? For me?"

…

"Stop giving me those eyes."

"Why?"

"I doubt Alex wants to hear me play the piano at three in the morning."

A laugh.

"Oh, do you?"

A snort. A sigh.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Bella."

"I was talking to the Nutella. You're ok too, I guess."

* * *

A few days after New Years, Bella and Edward were cuddled up on the couch watching the last season of Brooklyn Nine-Nine. The bastards at Fox had decided to cancel the show last year, a move that had even pissed off the saintly Bella Swan. She'd gone from pissed to sad for the whole, like, thirty-six hours it had been cancelled, and when the show had gotten picked up by NBC had chased down the name of one of the people in charge and had cried in gratitude. That day, Edward had discovered a whole other side of his girlfriend —one that was both a little scary and a lot in love with a show. They'd been a bit busy the last half of the year, but now they were both committed to binging the whole of the latest season. Alex had been invited to Jane's birthday party, meaning they had the Sunday to themselves.

"Hey, Bella?"

Bella hummed, too concentrated with the show.

"Will you marry me?"

Bella hummed again.

It actually took Bella a solid twenty minutes before she suddenly realized what Edward had asked, and the fact that he'd been holding a little box in his hand the whole time. When she did, Bella almost cracked her neck with how quickly she turned to look at Edward.

"What did you say?"

Edward snorted.

"Seriously, I ask you to marry me and you don't even notice because you're watching TV? Could you _be_ more millennial?"

Bella just kept blinking rapidly, waiting patiently for his jokes to pass. She needed to hear him ask, and she wanted to hear it properly.

Edward gave her a tiny smile.

"I've actually been thinking about it for the last few months, you know. Ever since the aquarium, I realized I wanted to marry you. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't just reacting to what we'd talked about and genuinely felt that way. Now… I just couldn't stop thinking about this. Isabella Marie Swan," Edward said, turning to face his girlfriend fully. "You brought color into my life. You dragged me out of the hole I'd dug myself into, and you even pulled out of there my greatest treasure, too. You make every day a good one —every day spent with you is one where I realize over and over how incredible it is that you love _me_ , of all people. Every day I feel blessed, thankful and _so_ fucking in love with you. I can think of no one I'd be more willing to spend the rest of my life with, and it's just not enough anymore to call you my girlfriend. Also, I'm just _so_ ready to be a stay-at-home dad, but I need, like, a rich wife for that. So, will you? Be the bread-winner, I mean."

Bella's eyes were filled with tears, ready to explode in wails at any moment.

"Also, I'm not signing any prenups, just so you know."

Laughing and sobbing, Bella nodded enthusiastically, crying something that sounded close enough to a 'yes'. Giving her his widest smile yet, Edward took out the ring from its box (simple and with a small diamond, just like he knew Bella would want) and with a shaking hand slipped it onto her left ring finger.

"Thank you," Edward choked out through the swell of emotions.

Bella just sobbed.

"You're _so_ signing a prenup, though," Bella joked through her tears, launching herself into his arms. She cried into his neck and Edward let a few tears of his own drip down on top of her head; they couldn't do anything but cry.

Back when crying had been a forgotten memory, Bella had tried asking a few people why one cried when they were sad. One of the people she used to get high with had answered:

"It's because we've got too much emotion bottled up inside, and to release the pressure we need something that lets us know it's getting poured out. Hand me a cig, will ya?"

She'd even asked Carlisle the same question, back when she'd been hospitalized. The doctor had lifted his gaze from her chart, an eyebrow raised.

"Psychogenic stimulus makes the seventh cranial nerve's sensitive branches stimulate in turn the primary lacrimal gland, causing an overproduction of tears and making them overflow."

Bella had to say she really preferred the pothead's answer. Not to mention, it was the one she'd understood.

Not only that, but she did feel like crying let her know that her feelings were too great, too beautiful, too sad, and that they needed to be released somewhere outside. She knew now, knowing that Edward was crying right along with her, that he felt the same way. Too much love could also be something overwhelming to the human heart, making us cry when it just got to be too much.

And she knew that they were just feeling too much; she knew this even as Edward carried them up to their bedroom, as he helped her undress and she helped him do the same. She knew this was the case because even as Edward bruised her lips with the force of his kiss, hot tears fell down her cheeks —his and hers, mixing and slipping into her hair.

"I love you," Bella said, feeling as Edward kissed her from the tip of her nose to the tips of her toes. She was always eager for more —to be touched more, kissed more, hugged more, fucked more, loved more. She never asked for it, though —whatever she wanted, Edward was already giving her.

"I love you too, Bella," Edward said, his voice husky. "So _fucking_ much."

He accommodated her so she was on all fours; one of the most comfortable positions for an eight-months pregnant belly but most importantly, her favorite.

"Please, Edward," Bella whimpered, feeling like the tears had done too good a job in emptying out her emotions and now there was something missing inside of her. Something that itched to be filled.

Grabbing his dick, Edward placed the head at the entrance.

"Tell me," he said gruffly.

"Tell you what?" Bella whined, impatiently trying to move her hips backwards. But Edward held her still where she was, rendering her immobile. "I love you!"

She'd guessed, but it was the wrong answer.

Teasing her, he pulled back so he was no longer touching her.

"That's not it, love," Edward said, passing a teasing finger past her soaking wet opening. He'd never get tired of how willing she always was, how ready, how much she desired him. "You know what it is."

Bella was about to say she didn't know, but when Edward shoved in two fingers, clarity suddenly overcame her.

"Fuck me, Edward. _Please_ ," Bella begged, and that was all Edward needed before replacing said fingers with his dick in one sharp thrust. " _Edward_!"

The sound of glory.

Sharp thrusts alternated with deep ones, fast with slow, hard with soft. Edward wanted —fuck, no, _needed_ — to bring this woman the same amount of pleasure she always gave him. He needed her to feel what he felt; the surreal pleasure, the unending love, the unrelenting urgency to reach Nirvana.

He did his best; in his humble opinion, he'd done well.

By the time that Bella was letting out an incoherent string of words, Edward was also a few thrusts away from coming. Instead of speaking, Edward just sped his pace up and changed his angle to that special spot that got her every single time. When they climaxed together, there was a moment where everything was a flash of white; blinding pleasure indeed, they thought. Then the high went down, and the couple collapsed next to each other, heaving.

Giving her a beaming smile, Edward wiggled his eyebrows lewdly at Bella.

"We should get engaged more often."

* * *

 _A bunch of years later_

* * *

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Bella, happy birthday to you!"

The crowd cheered as Bella Cullen blew out the forty candles on her birthday cake. Over the top? Yes, but the children insisted.

"Happy birthday mom!" Three bodies tackled Bella, and laughing, she let them envelop her in the warmest hug she could ever hope for. When the fourth body of her husband attempted to wiggle in, though, her oldest piped up.

"Dad! You're ruining the hug!" Alexander chided his old man jokingly, nonetheless making a move as if he was stopping his father from joining in.

Edward pouted, looking at his wife with wide, hurt eyes.

"Did you hear what your son said to me? You gonna let him talk to me that way?"

Bella stuck her tongue out.

"Not my fault I'm his favorite," she smiled widely; the years, which had been kind to her, had left evidence on her face of how much she smiled every single day. She had nowhere near the same amount of wrinkles her husband had, though, which she was thankful for. An age difference _did_ help with your self-esteem, it turned out.

"You're my favorite too, mom!" Nathaniel Cullen added, imitating his mother in sticking his tongue out at his father. Offended, Edward looked to his youngest to see what the reaction would be.

A shrug.

"I don't want to hurt your feelings, dad," Bo Cullen nonchalantly ripped her father's heart out, making the people around them howl with laughter at the sheer amount of sass the girl had.

"Why have all my children turned against me?" Edward moaned sadly, coughing when he felt a hand slap his back.

"Because Aunt Bella's much cooler than you, Uncle Edward," Seth Clearwater grinned, winking at his aunt who, to his eyes, hadn't aged a day. "And prettier, too."

"Don't be rude to your uncle," Tanya chided, elbowing her son. She winked at Bella. "But you're right."

"Hey! I get it that she's the birthday girl, but you didn't treat _me_ so well when I turned forty!" Edward whined, the pout appearing full force.

"Don't even bother, Edward," Laurent said, suddenly appearing next to his wife and placing an arm around her. He _really_ hadn't aged a day. "You're not even that pretty to look at anymore; Alex is the spitting image of you back in your good days. My sister really only keeps you around for appearance's sake."

Alexander gasped dramatically, looking between his parents and uncle.

"Excuse you, but I'm _much_ hotter than my dad was at my age," Alex said, mock offense clear on the twenty-nine year old's face. He called out behind him. "Right, Jane? Baby, back me up! Where are you?"

"Your dad's still prettier than you, baby! Sorry not sorry!" Jane, Alex's girlfriend of the last ten years, called back from some unknown place. She'd been right next to him a few seconds ago, hadn't she? Where was she…? Alex zeroed in on his girlfriend; as always, she was right next to the cake.

"Jane! Shouldn't you be backing _me_ up?" Alex yelled in outrage, making a face at his preening father. Edward was a simple man; one compliment would do, really, to inflate his ego.

"Why should she? You're not much to look at, young man!" Emmett McCarty's booming voice suddenly resounded throughout the party. The crowds seemed to part, and in walked the beautiful family of four. Rose walked by Emmett's side, rolling her eyes at her husband's antics. Emmett, as always, had arrived all dimples and curls. He did one of those man hugs with Edward, kissed Bella on the cheek and congratulated her before turning to the sullen-looking Alex.

"Ya fool, you wish you'd had women falling at your feet like your dad had." Emmett tooted, despite his words shivering a bit at how uncanny the similarities were between Alex and Edward. Fortunately though, the kid had a better personality. "Didn't it take you _years_ to convince Jane to date you?"

Sullen, Alex humphed.

"I had to overcome the one-year gap, which is a lot when you're eleven, old man," Alex said, and after giving the stink eye to his dad's best friend fled to the safety of his girlfriend's arms.

Emmett cackled, feeling like he'd won.

"Hey man," Matthew McCarty, Rose's very own look-alike, arrived shortly after his dad. He fist-bumped Nate. "Long time no see."

As in, long time since last night when they were playing video-games all night long after helping set up for the party.

"S'up?" Nate nodded back, letting Matt pass by him to greet his mother.

"Hey Bella, happy birthday. Sorry we were late, but my father… well, you know." Matt grinned at Bella charmingly, and Bella did, in fact, know what he meant. She waved him off, telling him where he could find food in the kitchen.

"Happy birthday Bella! I'm so glad we managed to at least see you blow out the candles," Lillian McCarty, the seventeen-year old school beauty and Matt's spitting (but prettier) image, arrived out of thin air to hug her mother's old friend. The problem? Nate hadn't had a chance to escape yet.

Nate and Lily dated two years back for about six months; everything had gone pretty well, considering Nate was dating his best friend's twin. Then Nate had suddenly shot up to be almost his father's height, grown muscle over the summer break and joined the basketball team (he'd aimed for football, but his grandfather had always been adamant that the sport damaged your brain), which only added to the appeal of the dark-haired and green-eyed hot guy. The sudden popularity had been too much for Lily to handle, who'd turned out to dislike being in the spotlight. The two had broken up —Lily calmly, but Nate furiously. Because Nate was his father's son, he couldn't quite let go; because he was also his mother's son, he wanted to try and avoid conflict as much as he could.

"Nate," Lily greeted, giving her ex-boyfriend a polite smile.

"Lily, hey," Nate gave her a half-smile, not wanting to make a scene during his mother's birthday party. "How've you been? I haven't seen you in school yet."

Surprised by how civil he was being, Lily gave him a more relaxed smile.

"Not surprising, given how school's only been back in session for like two weeks. I've been good, thanks. How—"

"Lily? My God, is that you?" Edward suddenly stepped out from the circle the adults had made, wanting to both greet his god-daughter and save his son. "You're more beautiful every time I see you. How's that possible, with the father you've got?"

Lily blushed. Truth be told, Edward Cullen had been her first crush as a child, much to her own father's pain and horror. Even now, at forty-nine, he looked pretty similar to the man from her memories except for the few gray hairs here and there. Bella had made Edward shave the beard a few years back when too many gray hair started appearing there, claiming it made him seem old. Honestly? He looked even better without the beard.

So yeah, Mr. Cullen was in no way less attractive than before.

"Well, mom made up for it, I think," Lily grinned, about to make conversation when someone called out to her.

"Lily!" Emma Clearwater was suddenly at her side, eyes excited. She was the same age as Lily, Matt and Nate, having been adopted by Leah when she was five years old. The girl was famously pretty at school, and famously a fountain for gossip. "Lily, I swear to God! You won't _believe_ the latest news!"

Laughing, Lily let Emma take her away somewhere else.

"Thanks for the save there, dad," Nate sighed, and Edward ruffled his kid's hair fondly. He was about to say something else when his gaze got caught on something, startling him. "Dad?"

Edward swallowed.

"Son, I saved you once. Remember that."

Then Edward retreated inside the adults' circle, his refuge.

That could only mean one thing…

" _Nate!_ " A giddy, high-pitched voice was in his ear one moment, and the next he felt a body crash into him. He held back a long, nasty groan.

Elizabeth was the kid of his mother's best friend, Alice Whitlock. She was Bo's age —fourteen in a month, product of an 'oops' much like he'd been— and also the most annoying girl on the planet. Not even kidding; Ellie could talk his ear off on any given day just describing the civil wars in United States. The one time someone got her talking about the ones in China, Nate snuck her a sleeping pill which only _halved_ her talking speed. She was the Energizer Bunny on drugs.

What was worse?

She was actually Bo's best fucking friend.

Nobody understood why or how. His sister was the equivalent of a flatline; nothing made her snap, nothing made her laugh. She wasn't cold or unfeeling, but she wasn't big on using her facial muscles. His little sister was the kindest person he knew after his mom, and he thought there was no girl prettier than her (except his mom). Not to mention Bo was a fucking math genius, which had baffled everyone in the family until they remembered Aunt Tanya was gifted with numbers, too; apart of math, she'd already won a nation-wide archery contest for her age range. So yeah, Bo was the pride of the family. Well, Alex was ok, too, what with his being a judge already and all, but still. Even Alex was prouder of Bo than of himself, so it was fine. Bo had them all wrapped around her pinky.

Ellie, on the other hand, was a whole other story. She was loud, used like five thousand facial muscles just talking, couldn't shut up for more than five minutes. She was selfish, if the way she hogged everything was of any indication, not to mention the glare she shot Lily every time the girl so much as breathed in the same space as Nate. What was Ellie good at? Bothering Nate. History of any part of the world (she said she wanted to be an archeologist). Giving Nate gastritis. Boxing (she'd been forced into it to release some energy and had been surprisingly good). Making headaches suddenly procure for Nate. Those were her talents, if they could even be called that. Was she pretty? She was ok, Nate guessed; super small, curly black hair, gray eyes. Nowhere near as pretty as Bo, but if he _had_ to say then he'd say the girl was pretty. Ish. Not that he'd ever say it out loud —the last thing he wanted was to give the imp hope.

So between the fact that their mothers were best friends (Alice was amazing, unlike her daughter), that Ellie was besties with Bo and that the girl practically _lived_ in his house… She'd developed a super obvious, totally annoying crush on him.

Why annoying?

During the time he was dating Lily, Ellie would gaze after him longingly. After they broke up, any and every time the two girls met the younger one would, without fail, make Lily flee from the discomfort her glare brought. Since the middle and high school were merged, Ellie was constantly _there_ —there in the cafeteria, there in the basketball bleachers, there in the parking lot, there in the _everywhere_. Nate knew he had to be patient; the girl wasn't even fourteen yet and older boys seemed fascinating. Truthfully? She was like an annoying little sister, but a sister nonetheless. Meaning her affection was _not_ well received.

"Hey Ellie," Nate grunted, awkwardly patting the girl on the back and taking a step back. He was about to add something else when he noticed something different. "You got your braces off?"

The girl beamed at him so brightly he swore she'd start shooting rainbows out of her eyes any moment.

"Yes! How does it look? Because it _feels_ weird," Ellie said, for effect passing her tongue over her teeth, rejoicing about the smoothness.

In the background, Alice was hugging her oldest friend around the waist. Bella leaned her head on Alice's, the two of them ignoring their respective husbands; the mothers were too concentrated watching their grown kids.

"They're gonna end up together, aren't they?" Alice whispered to Bella. "As soon as that daughter of mine starts taking diazepam or _something_. I can't fucking put up with her anymore, and she's the only one I've got."

Bella laughed. Ellie _could_ be too much.

"I'm sure they will," Bella agreed, watching fondly how the two teenagers interacted with each other. For how much Nate complained about Ellie, he never shut her up or was mean to her; she was proud of him, and also hopeful. She knew her son, and contrary to his words, he held a soft spot for the hyperactive girl. "Maybe it's her lack of boobs?"

Ellie was absolutely flat as a table; her period still hadn't come down, and her body was overall slow to develop. Alice had been the same way before suddenly growing boobs, hips and a butt when she was fifteen.

Alice nodded in agreement, and they went back to quietly watching their children interact.

"It looks good," Nate said, because that was the truth. She _did_ look even better without braces. "When did this happen?"

"Yesterday," Ellie said, happy that her beloved Nate was making small talk with her. "I—" she was about to say something else when her phone rang. Annoyed, she checked the caller ID to see who it was. Unexpectedly, her eyes lit up. Nate watched as she answered happily, not even caring anymore that she'd been interrupted. "Riley! Hey, what's up?"

Nate did his best to not let his jaw drop to the ground, but it was difficult. _Riley?_ Who the fuck was he? Ellie listened intently to something the boy said.

" _Yes_! That's amazing, Ri! I'll see you tomorrow, alright? The usual spot?" The Riley guy said something, and then Ellie hung up.

"Who was that?" Nate asked, using his nonchalant tone. But even it couldn't bring Ellie down from her high.

"A friend of mine. He's super good at skateboarding, so I'm going to see him tomorrow. He's gonna be in a competition. Isn't that cool?" Ellie beamed, catching someone in the background. "Oh, that's Alex isn't it? I'm gonna go say hi."

Then Ellie skipped off, leaving a seventeen-year-old boy with very mixed feelings.

-.-

On the other side of the party was a different set of fourteen and seventeen year olds.

These ones went by the name of Matt and Bo.

"Hey, AC, wanna hear a joke?" Matt poked Bo all over her right arm, trying to catch her attention. Once Matt had learnt in school the abbreviations Before Christ (B.C.) and After Christ (A.C.) he'd decided to _hilariously_ give Bo a nickname. Bo had been incredibly annoyed from the start; her mother had given her a short, nice name that could in no way be shortened, and this _dickhead_ came along and gave her whichever nickname he wanted.

She also had her father's sailor mouth.

"Don't call me AC, and no I don't," Bo said, choosing between an assortment of candies which one called to her the most. She didn't do well with sweets, but she loved them.

"Aw, you never wanna hear my jokes, A! Come on, just this once, please?"

Matt trained his baby blue eyes on her brown ones, which she just blinked slowly. Despite not saying anything, Matt took it as a go-ahead.

"Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?" Matt asked, pausing for a beat to create a tiny bit of suspense. "He worked his problem out with a pencil." He finished proudly, a smug smile on his smug fucking face. "It was a number 2 pencil."

There was a moment where the two of them seemed to be suspended in space, kind of just staring at each other. Matt had his eyes trained on Bo like a hawk, not about to let the smallest of details past.

It was then that he saw it:

Her mouth twitched.

" _YES!_ " Matt fist-pumped wildly, even making a touchdown motion. "You laughed! You cracked, AC!"

The twitching disappeared.

"I did not."

Matt rolled his eyes, grinning cheekily.

"Your lip twitched, which is your equivalent to laughing. Any more and you'd have been turning blue from lack of breathing." Matt pretended to flick dust off his shoulder. "I'm the master of jokes."

Bo decided on the chocolate cake.

"Hey, Bo," Matt said, sliding up next to her. He hip-checked her, suddenly turning serious. "When are you gonna go on that date with me?"

She took a bite from the cake. It was _so_ good; her Uncle Laurent had made it, which could only spell out deliciousness.

"What're you talking about?"

Offended, Matt almost let his jaw hit the ground.

"What do you mean, _what_? We made a deal! If I could convince Alex to let me take you on a date, I could. That was the deal."

Fourth deal this year, if you counted the 'if I score this', 'if I get this grade' and 'if I can make you laugh' deals that fell through. This one had been the first to succeed; all he'd had to do was suffer through Alexander's wrath and inquisition. He wasn't even scared of Bo's father; it was her older _brother_ who concerned him. Nate wasn't even the issue here; his best friend had pretty much known of his attachment to his little sister since day one.

"I don't remember agreeing to it," Bo shrugged, taking a second bite from her cake. _So_ good. "I just suggested an action plan."

Matt whimpered.

"Why're you so mean to me?"

She was literally the best person in existence to anyone but him. He'd checked.

"The better question is, why do you want to go out with me if I'm so mean to you?" Bo asked, raising both eyebrows for emphasis.

Matt's face was uncharacteristically free of jest.

"We both know you're not mean," Matt said, tucking a stray copper hair behind her ear. "Try all you want, but I know you."

Matt had been in a car accident four years ago; he'd been on the bus out for a Little League tournament when a distracted driver had crashed into them. One of his friends had died, and he'd been bedridden for a month, _plus_ the month it took him to recover from the shock of losing a friend. Every day, without fail, Nate and Bo would go to his house (which was a few blocks away from theirs) and bang down on his door for him to come out. One time Nate couldn't go, and Matt let Bo inside; she'd just sat there quietly, seeing the thirteen-year-old boy break apart from the pain and the sadness. When he'd been done crying, she'd patted him on the head, giving him one of her rare smiles.

"What kind of bagel can fly?" Bo had asked, and despite the lack of reply, had continued. "A plain bagel."

Then she'd stood up and waved goodbye. Bo had left his room, but never his heart.

"Well, I just think you'd want someone closer to your age," Bo shrugged, still enjoying her cake. "I'm in eighth grade, Matt. You're a senior."

Matt cocked his head to the side.

"Are you worried about that? The age difference?" Matt asked, but there was no reply. "Your dad is nine years older than your mom, and they're quite happy. I'm less than four years older than you; the age gap's not that big."

Bo sighed, putting down her clean plate. She could _really_ eat.

"Matt, I just don't like you that way," Bo said, exasperated. She served herself another slice, not wanting to look at his face.

Suddenly, she felt a kiss on the side of her head. Startled, she glanced up; Matt had a tender smile on his face, much nicer than his smug one.

"You know, whenever you lie you don't look people in the eye. I'm glad to see that's still the case." Matt said this with a twinkle in his eye, as though he knew something everybody else didn't.

"I'm not lying," Bo said, and made the extra effort to look him in the eye… but found she couldn't. Fucking hell. "I'm _not_."

"Yeah, right," Matt snorted happily, putting an arm around her shoulders and laying a kiss on her forehead. "Expect me to keep bugging the hell out of you until you say yes."

Bo was about to reply, but she was saved by the bell.

"McCarty! Take your paws off my baby sister!" Alex's bark had the desired effect: Matt dropped it like it's hot and scattered.

But not before casting a wink in the youngest Cullen's direction.

* * *

At one in the morning, when everyone was gone and things had been (kindly) picked up by the children, Bella and Edward sat on a lounge chair in the backyard. The day had been fun, filled with love and gifts and laughter. They sighed happily, looking up at the starry night.

"You know, I wish your parents could've been here," Bella suddenly said, cuddled up against her husband's side.

"Me, too. Mom would've liked seeing Nate get intimidated by Ellie, and dad would've loved seeing how Bo grows more beautiful by the day," Edward said with no small amount of sadness. Seven years ago, cancer had taken away the beauty that had been Esme Cullen. The family had suffered immensely, but no one had suffered more than Carlisle. He'd held on all he could, but three years later he was gone, too —sadness killed, after all, and everyone could see that a void had opened up in the retired doctor that could not be filled. Heartbroken as everyone had been to see him go, everyone understood; holding on to life was difficult enough, and some people couldn't think of life without their lifelong partner. Bella suspected she'd be one of them.

"I think your dad would've been so proud of Alex, too. Becoming a _judge_ of all things," Bella said with admiration. "Turns out you passed down a taste for the law, didn't you?"

"He would've," Edward recognized; he had his wife against his side, her left hand clasped in his right over his chest. "You think he's ever planning on settling down with Jane or something?"

Bella shrugged.

"He says he wants to, but that Jane isn't into the idea of marriage. It didn't seem like a big deal to him, though. He must be ok with it either way." Bella suddenly chuckled lightly, sighing. "It's funny to see how society changes, and we along with it. When he first told me I thought I'd be incredibly shocked for days, but… I'm surprisingly ok with it. If he's happy with how things are, and so is Jane, then I'm happy for them."

Edward hummed.

"Do you think you'd be happy now, if we hadn't married back then?"

They'd married as soon as Bella had put off the weight after giving birth; Edward had never seen his wife be so strict with herself before that, and neither did he ever again. After Bo was born, it had taken her about a year and a half to go back to her original weight. After Nate, she was back at it in four months. The wedding itself had been amazing, filled with laughter and love; this was the story for pretty much every single milestone they'd lived through, and that alone made their life a good one.

"I'd still be happy _with_ you," Bella said, clenching his hand a little harder. "But I think I'd feel a little deprived of an opportunity. What about you?"

Edward thought about it.

"I like this. I like the normalcy that comes along with being an aging married couple. I like how ordinary we are, despite how abnormal some things about our relationship were at first. I think the older I've gotten, the more I like the small things. Being able to say you're my wife is pretty high up there, along with being able to say my son is a judge," Edward joked, making said wife giggle along.

"I don't think couples who don't get married aren't happy," Bella mused out loud, sighing happily at how comfortable things were. Her eyes lingered on the modified tattoo her husband had; one big bird and three small ones, the splashes of color still there and even brighter than before. She loved this man. "I just think that there are ones bound to be unhappy if that wasn't what one of them they wanted. If both agree that's the way they like things, I bet they're as happy as us."

Edward nodded in agreement.

"We've come far, haven't we?" Edward asked rhetorically. He thought back to that housewarming party, Bella's young appearance back then and his tiredness. He thought of how even back then, Bella had started turning his life around.

"We have," Bella said, being slowly lulled to sleep. She knew her husband would carry her to the bed, like he always did, if she fell asleep out here.

"Why do you think we can be so happy now?"

Mind hazy, Bella thought back to that one acknowledgement she'd made for her husband.

"We made a chant, didn't we? To let ghosts die," Bella smiled, her eyelids heavy. The warmth from Edward's body was too great, her heart too full. A few tears slipped out. "I love you, I love you, I love you."

Edward kissed his wife's forehead. He whispered his own chant.

"I love you, I love you, I love you."

 _Forever_ , both thought. Then Bella fell asleep, and Edward forgot to remain awake. He fell right along with her, both indulging in a long night's sleep.

They deserved it, after all; being so happy, too, could wear you out.

* * *

 **Oh my God I can't believe this ride has come to an end. First of all, I want to thank so, _so_ much everyone who has followed, favorited and reviewed this story. To all of you who have said such sweet things -about my writing, about my story, about the characters- _thank_ you. This is especially for the anonymous reviewers I can't reply to, who sometimes leave such wonderful things it frustrates me I can't reply. To everyone who took the time to read my long-ass author's notes, who rejoiced with me when I found my phone and wished me luck on exams- _thank you_. From the bottom of my heart, you the readers have made this journey so enjoyable. To think I've made something that has gotten people so involved, so emotional, so happy or so captured... I just want you to know that if this story got better with time, it's because of the amount of positive feedback it got. I would've done this regardless, but the joy I wrote with and willingness to keep going is thanks to everyone who took the time to be kind. **

**_This_ is what I wanted this story to be about; not just about Bella and Edward, although they're certainly the main characters: it was about how small acts of kindness can break down walls and lift up hearts. Please, be kind. Be compassionate. Be empathetic. Be nice any time you can; it's in the small things. In smiling at a tired cashier, in leaving a writer a kind word, in helping your co-worker/classmate/friend/partner/family member with that _one_ thing you find a little annoying to do but that would really help them. If I like who I am, it's because of the wonderful family and friends that I have; they're always so kind I'm constantly striving to be like them. Surround yourselves with people like that; people that lift your spirits and are so good you feel like your kindness could always go a little further. Don't be satisfied with showing a good side to those close to you; never excuse a mean response with being in a bad mood. Please, if you've gotten till here, I think it's because there was one message that resounded within you: we all need kindness. There's enough mean people in the world, and being one of them is too easy. It's become cool to be aloof, for some reason, and annoying to be nice. Cool to laugh at others being rude, cool to deny people's humanity, cool to insult what's sacred; annoying to be the nice kid, annoying to offer kind gestures, annoying to care about others _too_ much. I believe in the capacity of people to change; all we need is a chance. Nobody should ever be deemed a lost cause, because I bet there's more than one among you who has been forced to do a 180 by life's whimsical turns. **

**But that's all for my rants. Again, thank you _all_ for reading. I hope I see you again for my next story. **

**Leah.**


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